A Pondering Heart

Jun. 21, 2007 - Lest Ye Be Defiled

A lot has been on my mind lately. I obviously can't share everything with you because some things need to be left unsaid or not said by me. I want this post to be about blogging and how we can/may be defiling ourselves. I don't know if I'll quite get the point across. It's hard to say what you want to say without hurting anyone or being blunt about it (or naming anyone). Jesus said many things that upset the "righteous' leaders of the Jews. Jesus said everything in a loving manner. He said never said anything to make one angry or to hurt them. He said it to be a light unto them as was His role as the Son of God. He was to be a Light unto the world.

In my year of blogging I have seen a many blog-fights that have come to nothing but hateful words, hard feelings and no friends. It is a sad thing when the Body of Christ is divided because a mere disagreement. Those who stand for what is right get 'preached' at by the other party who doesn't know what else to do (knowing they're wrong). I am tired of it and it is only hurting the Body of Christ. You know that old saying, "An eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth"? Well, I don't think that was meant for the Body of Christ to use as a 'motto'. That is how heathens, who don't have the love of Christ, act. But it seems as we go along in this world we go farther and farther from the original meaning of being a "Christian". We Christians have finished the quote, which is "then the whole world will be blind and toothless" and so we've made it. We cannot lead anyone to Christ if we are blind for we can't see ourselves; and it's hard to speak the truth if we have no teeth. (Try it - try speaking without touching your teeth).

I know of a few blogs that I stopped visiting. The wars that rage are hard and rough. The unspoken words and subtle messages between the lines of the posts. The anger that is written is not so easily hidden and it's time we laid down our pride and actually do what we wrote. Without love, mercy and forgiveness of Christ we are nothing. We are not worth a cent. Without it we are ****ed to an eternal lake of fire. Can't we offer that same love, mercy, forgiveness to the one's who we've hurt or been upset by?

When Jesus comes back it won't matter who was right. What will matter is what did you do in that situation? How did you show the love, mercy, forgiveness? You will be judged for your actions, not by what so and so did. So do the right thing, even if it does hurt your pride and make you look 'weak', as I am learning myself.

Just a few days ago another blog-fight was about to begin because of hurtful words and children who were being thoughtless when they spoke - er typed. Only when we show the Love of Jesus can we fight against anger and hate. I was also involved in a 'blog-fight' almost a year ago. The leader of our blog group was dishonest and caused division which led to hate and thoughtless words. We always have to be careful with what we say when things don't go our way, and we're mad about it. We should always be the one advocating for peace and unity, without acting like you're better then everyone else, and it may be hard because you can't see face expressions or emotions online.

Another thing that has been on my mind is about having relationships with people online. We should be careful at who we allow to comment on our blogs, on a regular basis. I visited a young man's blog, who recently joined HSB, and one the first post he got there was a comment from an older woman (about 40+). I was disturbed by her comment because she was acting as if she wanted to be this young man's buddy and 'spoke his language'. I have seen her on many kids' blogs and even defending a few. She does not see that she as a woman, an adult and a stranger is commenting on young men's' blog as if she were their friend. I don't think there is anything wrong with her commenting on young ladies blog if she is encouraging them but from the comments I've seen and her blog content she is very immature and very sarcastic. I am concerned and pray that those young man will guard themselves for their future bride as I hope mine will for me.

It would be very, very, very disturbing if my sister was getting comments like that (mentioned above) from a 45yr old man. Even if he was a Godly, Biblical man, he (and she) have no right to have any type of personal relationship, and we have to be careful that we do not defile ourselves by merely leaving comments. I also recieved an anonymous comment asking unneccesary questions that did not concern them. Have discretion when you say things. If you're not sure you should be saying them (and are afraid to put your name if you do) then it would be best if you just kept to yourself. I was very heartborken that this 'person' lacked the courage and disrespected themselves and me by doing so.

It is the same thing with leaving comments on young men's' blog. I have to be careful that I am not being flirtatious because I don't want to defile myself at all. In fact to help us stay pure and holy, mom has limited us to visiting certain young men's blog. And, we are only allowed to comment every so often. Most of the blogs she would disapprove of I wouldn't care to read, though, anyway.

EDITED: I need to clarify, I do not think there is anything wrong with older woman or men commenting on young blogger's blog. What disturbes me is when the comments are of a personal manner and not about the post. Of course, if might be different is the familes actually know each other, but conversing about a post is completely ok; but when the comments seem to be like a phone call between two teenagers, then we have a problem. We need to avoid all apperance of evil.

I have seen many young ladies blogs who have enticing pictures of themselves and who are flirtatious on boys' blogs. They leave comments that would be accepted by the world's standards, but I'm not sure it would be by God's. I want to help them and point it out but I'm usually not friends with them and they would be offended that I don't know them and are "judging" them. I have actually done this and got 'slapped' in the face for it. A few of those 'worldly Christians' all teamed up and asked how could I "dare judge someone like that?!!!!"

So take a minute and check to see who you comment a lot or look over the content of your comments. Would it make you comfortable knowing that some other person is leaving these types of comments on *your* future spouse's blog? If not then the future spouse of the one you are commenting may not either.

I've had a few bloggers/moms be obsessed with me or my family, which ended in that blogger getting offended when we couldn't devote our time to her. Please, understand, we are just regular people, striving to be what God has called us to. I am not a queen, I am not a blog-star. I am just me. It's nice to know that people want their daughters to grow up to be 'just like me' and I hope to set a good example, but I know I am not perfect and I still have a lot of mistakes to learn from, I'm sure.

ot: I will be hosting the Carnival of Homesteading here next Monday. If you have any submissions, email me and I'll put it.

Be blessed,

Jocelyn, "thine willing handmaiden

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Comments

Jun. 21, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Yoshiyahu

Well... I wasn't REALLY fighting... I was just hoping she didn't really mean it... O, I'll try not o fight if you say so.. Cheerio!
Yoshi
p.s. I added you to my fren's list.

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Jun. 21, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Yoshiyahu

Yeah, I think I got that comment by anonymous, It was this huge anti-Christian thing. I only allow registered users to comment on my blog now. Cheerio!
Yoshiyahu

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Jun. 21, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Aligirl

WOW! I didn't know that so much of that junk was going on. And on HSB? What a shame. You are very right, and I am glad that you wrote this for everyone to see. We do need to blog with discretion. Alot of places like myspace are full of people blogging and talking without any kind of discretion. It only leads to trouble. I hope that the people who are like that here on HSB will think carefully before commenting and blogging, and take what you have had to say to heart!

God bless!

Ali

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Jun. 21, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by totustuus

Wow...I don't think I've really run into much of that here at HSB, but I think you'd know about it better than me. I mean, I've seen disagreements and everything, but nothing spiteful.

I'm not sure that I see your point about older men and younger girls..."even if he was a Godly, Biblical man, he (and she) have no right to have any type of relationship" - I am VERY careful about older men on the internet (even here on HSB), but if he's a Godly, Biblical man who is giving you good spiritual advice and encouragement...I don't really see what's wrong with that??? Of course, my parents would have to be involved and approve of everything. Otherwise I wouldn't think of it. There are quite a few great homeschooling dads here, though.

You are TOTALLY right about being careful not to be flirtatious in any way!! I try to be discreet when I'm commenting on guy's blogs. I try to make it a point not to leave them too many multiple comments as well. Thanks for the great reminder!!

Keep on striving for holiness in everything,
Love, your sister in Christ,
Sylvia
Eph. 5:1-2

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Jun. 22, 2007 - RYC

Posted by nancysnook

Hello, thanks for the comment! I sent Tia a request to post The Challenge. I sent it about three days before it was supposed to start, so I guess things were just busy and it wasn't posted soon enough. I've never heard of a blog-fight before. Hmmmm. As for an older woman commenting on a young mans blog...I am an older woman, 46, and I've posted comments on three boys' blogs because I was responding to their comments that were left on my blog. I don't see anything wrong with doing that and it doesn't always imply that I, or any other woman, wants to be their buddy and speak their language. I am a youth leader in my church and so I'm around teens all the time, it feels natural for me to talk to teens, whether it is boy or girl. I'm afraid we don't share the same opinion on that, but we are uniquely individual and have our own views.

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Jun. 22, 2007 - <i>Untitled Comment</i>

Posted by Bookworm92

Very good entry, I agree. I read a lot of boys blogs, but I never have a problem with flirting with them. I have never understood how you can flirt with/like someone you have never even spoken to. I don't know how to flirt in real life so I sure don't know how to flirt online. I might be creeped out if a 45ish year old man was commenting on my blog. I have never really paid a ton of attention to comments on other people's blog so I haven't noticed the things you have but I agree it sounds like it could be a problem.

Edited by Bookworm92 on Jun. 21, 2007 at 11:30 PM

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Jun. 22, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by housefull

You have handled this topic well. I am concerned by the blogosphere for my children also. Currently none of them have a blog, but I know that they look forward to joining this "world" soon. I am happy to hear the way that your mother guards her children. I have courage to know that I too can help my children be wise and careful. Thanks for sharing. Keep it up!
Elizaeth

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Jun. 22, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by BlogBoy

I wasn't THAT bad... If you listen to the modern day Scots, they sound mostly like that. I still need some work though =D I have watched BraveHeart, thats the old Scot accent!

Good idea, I'll show you when I sprout wings =D

I do have an accent eh? Well you need to be more to the point, what words do I mess up? =D

And here are your Lols

LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL
LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL

I am SO not mad at you ;)

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Jun. 22, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by LifeSong

Hey, sorry it has taken me so long to respond to your question. That would be fine if you want to add me to your emailing list. I currently do not have a email adress, so here's my moms.

Dianek5846@cox.net

BTW, that was a very good entry. I totally agree with you on those issues.

Delaine :-)

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Jun. 22, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by haffgrim

That is a powerful message. I had a wonderful Time at the beach! Did you get the anonymous comment?

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Jun. 22, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by giftedgirl

Hello!

Yeah..... I was "downsizing" my friends list and accidentially took off people that I didn't mean to take off. Sorry! Then I decided that downsizing was a stupid idea because even if I got my friends list really small I would still only talk to a few people on a regular basis. So then I put everyone back on and realized who all I had taken off.

That was a great post. I've "grown up" as far as my computer etiquette..... I'm more careful about what I say and who I talk to. I'm thankful to all the people who helped me to grow up, even if I was hurt or offended in the process. It's almost harder to put what you say nicely on the computer.... the person can't see your expression, hear the tone of your voice. You know?

Yes, I asked Mama about joining SSA and she said I could! I was quite pleased. :-)

I like your layout, with the two sidebars. I'm trying to figure out how to do that, but I haven't had the time to fiddle around with it much.

Blessings,
Becca

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Jun. 22, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by ShedHisGraceOnThee

Thank you! I enjoy politics a lot too, and running this site makes me more into it! :)

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Jun. 22, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by norwezter

We got our blog back. We had to quit partially because of that nasty anonymous comment. I didn't actually see it but mama did and told me that it was there so I didn't get back on my blog until it was deleted.
I think you are completely right.
Pearl

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Jun. 22, 2007 - <i>Untitled Comment</i>

Posted by StuckIntheMiddle

I totally agree with you and I was just wondering if you saw any of that from me or on my blog? I would really want to know if you do. Thank-you for being a really, really good and encouraging "Blog" friend :)
God Bless You!!!
Rachel
ElizabethBennet

(sorry, this is really ElizabethBennet, my sister was signed in and I didn't look at that before I commented.)

Edited by StuckIntheMiddle on Jun. 22, 2007 at 8:23 PM

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Jun. 23, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by CamtheMan

Thanks for coming and leaving the comments! Yeah, no point waiting 5 hours for a 5 minute movie. lol!

I read both of your entries and they are very good! Since reading the "Why are you so popular" post, I am trying to do longer comments. Mainly because I dont't like one-line comments either (Although I posted them quite frequently).

Also, thank you for the compliment on my moms template, I keep learning more and more with every template I put together. But there is so much more to learn.

Thanks again,

-Cameron

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Jun. 23, 2007 - Hi there.

Posted by ThreeLittleLadies

I like your thoughts here, little sister. Keep on, keeping on!

I just wanted to let you know that you got an award at my blog today. You rock!

Carol

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Jun. 23, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Sparkles

Hey Jocelyn! That was a great post! I totally agree with you on everything! We definately need to be careful about who we frequently comment or talk with. I have been disturbed by some of the same things you mention, also.

Hope you have a great day!

Sparkles ; )

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Jun. 23, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by SAMIAM

Just wanted to stop by and tell you that I posted about my sister's wedding!

*Sami*

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Jun. 23, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by mandygrace

Joci, I love your honesty and your speaking the truth in love. You’re so right. We do need to be careful about who we associate with on our blogs. That's one of the ways we can keep ourselves pure and set a good example to others.

I'm glad you're doing the challenge! How's it going? I'm sure learning a lot. :-)

Love,
Mandy

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Jun. 24, 2007 - Er

Posted by BobaFett

Umm Heh Heh...

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Jun. 24, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Yoshiyahu

Nope, that's not it...

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Jun. 24, 2007 - Note from Brielle

Posted by BrielleCostumes

Hello Jocelyn,
Thank you for your comment…it is always nice to hear from you.

Your post was very good….I agree that you should use discretion when posting or blogging to other people and I think that it is ok if you disagree with someone about something ,but that does not justify rudeness and mean words. We must be careful to not be hateful or get jealous of others…especially while blogging because just a typed note is not the same as a person telling you something…there are no facial expressions to let you know if that person is joking or making a cutting remark. So I agree with you about your post….Over all I would say that I’ve certainly enjoyed meeting new people and receiving comments from others on HSB….it’s been and still is a great experience. I love blogging… I continue to pray that I will leave kind and friendly comments and I hope that my notes are received as such. :)

I’m going to post this evening about a mailing list…plus if anyone wants to sign up for it then I’ll have little extra news and other costume info on there….Oh, I had another idea I wanted to run by you…do you think that there would be an interest in a pattern review section? For example I would make a pattern up do a review about the level of sewing what skills you’d need or what to change in the pattern to make it fit or look better. So I might do a review on a Simplicity blouse or skirt pattern….I’m just thinking out loud. :)

Oh, after hearing your suggestion I did divide my blog posts up into smaller pages…could you let me know if it loads a little faster?...thank you so much.
God Bless………
Love,
Brielle

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Jun. 25, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by quietcajun

I will try to type this, but I hurt my hand today and it is really hurting... so forgive typos please.

Your thoughts on older women (I'm 37) commenting on boys' blogs really bothered me. NOt that I disagreed, it bothered me b/c it made me worry that I had not been careful enough.

I have not been flirtatious in anyway, but when I thought of my 15 year old daughter getting comments from a man my age it made me uncomfortable.

I think an occasional encouraging comment would be fine and even welcome, but if it was seeming to be a habitual thing in any way, I would probably be concerned.

thinkig back i donot think I have been a repeat guests at any male's blog except for my own sons, but I certainly will think about it more diligently.

I have had negative comments in the past and had to realy pray about how to respond. I hada string of anti-homeschool comments about a year ago, I think they were all from one "anonymous " commenter.

Jocelyn, once again you have spurred me on to thinking carefully about what I say and do.

Thankyou for sharing you insights. You are wise beyond your years.

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Jul. 4, 2007 - Untitled Comment

Posted by curiouscat

Hi Jocelyn; There's some good thinking going on in that noggin :) I try to check out my kids' friends list to see if they are of good quality. It kinda makes me feel guilty to delete some, but I don't want my kids to be deceived in any way. We talk about the pros/ cons and I think it produces good discernment by exposing what doesn't line up with Scripture.

Growing up can be messy... :)

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