Last Sunday, my husband Steve, preached from Colossians 3:1-11. His sermon was powerful to me and was very motivating in regards to killing sin (or as Paul puts it in Colossians 3:5a – put to death therefore what is earthly in you.) A day later as I was reflecting more on that whole passage and the one following I was filled with excitement about putting sin to death and clothing myself in Christ likeness instead.  I was taking a look at all the sins that I could see in my heart and embracing the killing of sin with joy and confidence in God’s ability to work. As I was talking to Steve about this he encouraged me to write a blog post about joyful killing fields – a play on words from an old movie title. I filed that away in the back of my mind to get on with the task at hand – our first week of school.

There are two strange phenomenons related to the beginning of each school year. First, the excitement I always feel is nothing short of miraculous considering the discouragement I usually feel at the end of the year, in this case just six weeks prior. Second, the ability homeschooling has to bring out the sin in our hearts that had been hiding during our school break. Things like anger, conflict, complaining, harsh words, and selfishness pop out throughout the day like a field full of prairie dogs.

Then it happened. A big conflict arose between one of my children and I. I basically felt like I was in Jr. High again because of the way I responded. I did not act like a mature and wise mother. Then, just last night I was too quick to react to my husband twice in a row before hearing him out (which would have cleared up everything by the way) - a sure sign of foolishness says Proverbs. I went to bed last night less than joyful in the face of my sin, yet really endeavoring to remember that my faith is in Christ to make me righteous not my perfect behavior.

This morning I got out my journal and was ready to repent in my time with the Lord when a conversation that I had with one of my daughters this week came to mind. She had been struggling with a particular sin and was confessing to me that she was convicted not just about her sin but also about her motives for desiring not to sin. She wondered if she wanted to kill the sin because it was not glorifying to God or because she wanted control over it personally. This made me also think about my motives. As I repented of my sins of the tongue I expressed to the Lord that I wanted my motive to be based on a desire to glorify him with my speech and extend grace to others. God reminded me once again of the joy involved in killing sin. Oh it is hard to do! It feels so unnatural to respond in a way that doesn’t feed the flesh. But there is joy in the struggle because I am cooperating with the Holy Spirit in my sanctification. Think about that – I am partnering with a Holy God on the basis that my standing before Him is already perfect through Christ. To borrow the phrase - I am becoming in practice what I already am by divine act. That is truly incredible! I can fight with the knowledge that I am assured victory. I often don’t want to fight at all, I want to be a passive observer and let God do it all without any effort from me. He hasn’t chosen to work that way. I struggle with all his energy that he powerfully works in me. Colossians 1:29

My heart truly is a joyful killing field. May God continue to give me desire to be in the battle. Even when I have a defeat I am assured the final victory! And those defeats themselves become victories right now when they move me on to be more like Christ.

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For as long as I can remember I’ve had a nagging suspicion about God. How can I adequately sum it up in a short blog post when I can see traces of it lurking throughout my life? It’s been a dark shadow behind every joy, and if I were truly honest, a motivator for good behavior. The gist of it is this – I believe that God is out to get me, to teach me a lesson, ready to dole out some sort of tragedy in my life to prove a point to me.

I have experienced pain in life. I’ve walked through dark valleys in my own soul as well as in my circumstances, however, my pain never quite measures up to the pain that I suspect will be inflicted on me when I least expect it. Basically I live with a nagging fear of what might lie just around the corner.

I’m aware of the right answers about the goodness of God, his faithfulness, and my right standing before God because of Jesus. His character always does the right thing, every trial he hands me is for good. So why do I still suspect him to be harsh, angry, and vindictive?

It’s because I am a sinner. At the very core of who I am lies unbelief. I’ve been confessing this to God for years now – it is a besetting sin for me. I know it is wrong and I desire to kill it. God is revealing to me just how serious this sin is. At its core it denies the gospel. It says to me that I must attain to a righteous standard to earn favor with God. It turns me into a legalist who is afraid of one misstep that will bring down wrath and condemnation. How very opposed to everything I’ve been writing about for the last few years that is. It’s shocking to me as I look at it closely.

I should have suspicions but not about God. I should be suspicious of my own heart. Somewhere in the deepest part of me I want to atone for my own sin. God forbid it! I could never really want this - or could I? This is what my sinful nature says when it wants to earn favor (translated in my mind- a pain free existence) with God. It says that maybe if I’m good enough I can avoid hardship. It’s laughable on one hand but actually very serious.

Specifically here is what I should suspect about myself. I desire a pain free existence more than I value Christ. This is a tendency for me, therefore I MUST be about repenting at every little occurrence of this unbelief. I MUST be preaching the gospel to myself. I MUST be trusting in the character of God. I must do this not because God will be more merciful to me if I do but because I will love him more fully if I take pains to eradicate this erroneous belief. The joy I experience in Christ will not have a dark shadow lurking behind it. Oh how I yearn for that.

Christ’s work on the cross for me is done, I’m accepted by God because of it and nothing that happens to me in this life is done to me by God in order to atone for my sin. Everything is done to conform me to the image of his son.

I echo the words of Sam Storms in his book The Hope of Glory when he says: 

“ I don’t want to “be my self,” I want to be like Christ. I don’t want to grow into the fullness of who I am but into the fullness of who Christ is."

I don’t want to over analyze why I have these suspicions and embrace the full knowledge of why I am the way I am. I want to eradicate it from my life and move on to be more like Christ. I cry tears of joy this morning because I know God desires this too and by his grace it will happen.

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Missions, evangelism, personal holiness, love, prayer, devotions, bible study, the Holy Spirit, worship, the persecuted church, self sacrifice, spiritual disciplines, humility, spiritual warfare, eternal perspective, creation, sacrificial giving, hospitality, purity, compassion, serving, joy, faith, and fellowship. This is a small list from the top of my head in no particular order of issues or actions that have driven me at some point or another throughout my Christian life. I can recall memories from each item of times when that particular thing burned in my heart, some of them for a short season, some of them on and off frequently.

When I look at this list I see that each item is biblical, none of them are sinful (that would be another list!) they are good things. So why do I bring this up? This morning I find myself very grateful that God has revealed to me what was missing from all of the above for so many years of my life – the gospel! I was living a life tossed to and fro from one conviction to another without the anchor of the gospel. Those items on the list were full of self effort, desire to win God’s approval, desire to be good in and of myself, desire to look good to others, and desire to find a key - a secret to a happy and  successful Christian life. Was I a believer? Yes, I was, I truly had trusted in Christ’s work on the cross for me. The problem was that I lacked understanding of the gospel’s first importance, of the gospel’s power to fuel the actions and issues that I found important, of the true treasure found in Christ alone apart from any of my good works. I cannot overstate this point enough.

Here it is in plain and simple language. Through Jesus I have perfect standing before the Father because he perfectly obeyed God in every area and then gave me credit for it through faith in him. Through Jesus I can live a victorious life because he has broken the power of sin in me. Through Jesus I can abound in good works because of his power given to me through the Holy Spirit. Through Jesus I have inexhaustible treasures for this life and the life to come so much so that I find it difficult to write this concisely. In the gospel there is enough simple and profound truth to learn about for the rest of my days and never come to the end of it.

I see more clearly now that my sins can be traced back to not living and trusting in the gospel on a moment-by-moment basis. This is to be my life long task – to grow in my understanding and application of the truths of the gospel.

All the years of being tossed about seeking self-righteousness or serving with self-effort have been forgiven. All the days since having my heart opened to the treasure of Christ that have been ruled by sin have been forgiven. All of the ways that I have not relished Christ above all have been forgiven. Every moment wasted, every opportunity for good that I have squandered – forgiven. Every day of missed devotions, prayerlessness, unkind words, and self-centered thoughts has been forgiven.

Oh the joy of having my soul anchored by the gospel. Perhaps the anchor was there all along but I lived oblivious to it. Now that I am aware of it I want my life closely tethered to it by God’s grace. How thankful I am for God’s extreme mercy and patience and leading. Without him my life is nothing and I have him because of Christ. The gospel is amazing!

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On Memorial Day last month I wrote the following post.

I turned 40 several months ago and it’s been interesting to me how much more I have reflected back on my life this year more than other years. Though I don’t particularly feel it physically there is this awareness that I am probably closer to eternity, my life may be more or less half over. What a sobering thought. In some ways it seems to have whizzed by, God knew what he was talking about in his word when he declared that our life is only a breath.

Recently I joined Facebook though I am not very into it yet. Because of Facebook however, I have been reconnecting with team members from a mission trip that I took when I was 16. This too has been a catalyst to think about what my life has held since that time. I remember well sitting on a beach in Tahiti during that trip and writing these words:

When all is said when this life is through
Nothing will matter but what was done for you.

What followed in that poem were the thoughts of an imagined old woman looking back on her life regretting that she had not spent it for the Lord.

Years later I read John Piper’s book Don’t Waste Your Life. How I resonated with the message of that book. One of the greatest fears I have carried around is the fear of wasting my life. So here I am half done with this life, has it been wasted? When I look back I could see the love of self and laziness that has consumed so many hours of my life as I’ve pursued entertainment and ease. I could look back and see the sins that have dogged me from that time as a teenager. Pride and desire for recognition, fear, sinful thoughts, and attitudes in my heart that still exist. I could look back and see the ministry that I’ve been a part of in missions, in the church, in my own home and neighborhoods. I could remember a lot of things, and I do; yet what has surprised me most as I’ve reflected back has been the hope I feel.

In my pride I can tend to look at not wasting my life as doing something “important”, noteworthy, as if the only way it would not be wasted is if others would want to read about me when I’m dead. Being 40 has made me realize that there’s a pretty good chance I’ll never be a famous anything and I’ve made peace with that. Some of those childhood dreams have finally died which is not so bad since they were full of self-glory anyway.

Instead, by God’s grace, this is what I see when I look back: a faithful God who has led me, spoken to me so many times in very personal ways, provided for my needs, given me so much grace through so many struggles, enabled me to be a faithful wife and mother, given me increasing desire for Himself, and fills my hears with awe and worship for Him. Only I know the real thoughts and motives behind any good ministry that I’ve been a part of which is why I can say all the more – God is so gracious to me – He truly uses the fools of this world.

I have hope because that same faithful God is unchanging and will be with me to the end. I have hope because by God’s grace as I look back somehow I’m seeing Him more than me. I’m seeing that despite me, God was at work. I have hope because the gospel has been in increasing measure a source of true joy to me and I know that it can only be because of God. I have hope because the wise, sovereign, God of the universe will use even me in my quiet corner of the world for his kingdom purposes.

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My friend Suzanne has learned a good technique to use for remembering sermons or seminars. Focus on one thing. Is there one thing that stands out, one thing to apply, one thing that will trigger your memory later? Focus on that.

I haven’t set out very consciously to do this but there are times that I find it happening naturally anyway. My brain can only absorb so much unfortunately, so sometimes one thing stands out and sticks with me months and even years later. I will find myself contemplating the one thing often in various circumstances and it is beneficial to my soul.

Here is an example. A year ago our sister church hosted a seminar entitled How People Change. The teaching was good and full of examples but one thing the seminar presenter said is what has stuck with me. He said that when you get right down to it there are only two verses from the Bible that you really need to focus on in order to change. Mark 1:15b ...repent and believe in the gospel and Proverbs 3:5a trust in the Lord with all your heart.... Let me clarify that he wasn’t suggesting the rest of the Bible was useless but rather that changing our behavior is simpler than we usually make it.

Do you have a sinful habit you want to quit? Repent – acknowledge it as sin and turn from it, believe in the gospel, which says that Christ has paid for that sin and has broken the power over it, and trust in Him to give you the grace you need to fight it.

Is there bitterness in your heart toward another person? Repent, despite feelings we usually know deep down that unforgiveness is wrong. Confess that to God; believe in the gospel that tells you how much Christ has forgiven you. Even your unforgiveness was enough sin to cause God’s wrath to be upon you but Christ has taken away that condemnation. Amazing! Trust in the Lord to give you a heart of love instead.

See, simple isn’t it? Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest. Especially when your feelings go against them. Usually these steps need to be repeated over and over, it is definitely not a magic formula for success but it works because it moves our focus from our sin and ourselves to our Savior. Think about it.

• Repent – that means we have to acknowledge and hate our sin enough to want to be rid of it. In doing so we are required to turn to God.
• Believe in the gospel – after we’ve taken our nasty sin to God he gives us the antidote – Jesus paid for it on the cross completely and if he cancelled our record of sin he surely will be faithful to eradicate it from our lives. Our eyes rest on him
• Trust in the Lord with all your heart- does doubt creep into your heart when it comes to that thing you’ve been struggling with? Don’t you see that’s because your gaze has drifted from the Savior to yourself. That’s why we must always trust in the Lord and lean not on our own understanding. He is always faithful to his promises. If we cling to His character we find the assurance we need.

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In my last post I made this statement: There is no mistaking it, as one who belongs to Christ, I will be tamed little by little throughout my life, the question is how difficult will I make the process? Will I fight against it and make it more difficult on myself or will I gladly bow, submit, and humble myself before my Sovereign Lord?

The week following was a case in point example of how miserable resisting makes me. I often feel inspired by biblical truth, have good desires, pray for the Holy Spirit to work in me, and then fall flat on my face at the first sign of hardship. The natural result of such episodes should be humility, and sometimes it is, but more often than not pride rears its ugly headfirst. It goes something like this:

I feel angry over the situation/conflict etc. – I am not seeing the problem as a means of sanctifying grace.

I hold a grudge against whoever interrupted my perfect universe – I am setting myself up to be a god.

I wallow in discouragement or self-pity over my failure to respond properly – God may remember that I am dust but I surely don’t. I believe that I should be perfect which, God forbid, is a way of saying I don’t need Christ.

I may turn my anger upwards and get irritated with God for what seems like His lack of help – this is ultimate pride, saying that I could do a better job than God himself.

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My fifteen-year-old daughter currently has a part in the play The Taming of The Shrew. I’ll be honest and tell you that I knew very little of the story except for the obvious revealed in the title. I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect as I watched the dress rehearsal last week. I had a good idea that it would be funny and that a shrew would be tamed by the end. I was correct on both accounts. The play was hilarious; the actors and sound effects guy did an outstanding job of working together to achieve over two hours of slapstick comedy at its best. And yes, a shrew did end up tamed by the end. What I wasn’t expecting was God to speak to me personally through this play.

Kate, also known as the shrew, has a moving speech at the end regarding a wife’s duty to submit to her husband. In true Shakespearian language she refers to him as her lord and sovereign and essentially says that since it is his job to care for her why should she offer war instead of peace? She then speaks of placing her hand under his foot in submission and actually lays prostrate before him and does so. His response to this is to rise from his seated position to lift her up to where he stands. He then kisses her and it becomes obvious that both parties are blessed by this change in her.

I don’t know Shakespeare’s intention in writing this play and whether he was poking fun at marriage or women and men’s roles or not and frankly, I don’t really care because I know God’s intention for me in watching this play.

I am, more often than not, a shrew. God undertakes my salvation, sees to it that I am protected and provided for and yet I live to please myself and I often offer war rather than making peace by submitting to God’s Word, His ways, and His means. When He asks me to do what I don’t understand do I complain or comply? Do I place my hand under his foot in subjection? He promises to treat me in the same manner that Petruchio treats Kate when I do. He lifts me up to where He is and showers me with affection. He is glorified and I am truly happy. How do I know this? It’s a promise from His word.

Humble yourselves under the mighty hand (or foot) of God and in due time He will exalt you, casting all your care on Him because He cares for you.

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him is the dominion (or glory) forever and ever. Amen. I Peter 5:6,7,10

Marriage is a picture of Christ and the church. I must not make war with my earthly husband or my heavenly one. There is no mistaking it, as one who belongs to Christ, I will be tamed little by little throughout my life. The question is, how difficult will I make the process? Will I fight against it and make it more difficult on myself or will I gladly bow, submit, and humble myself before my Sovereign Lord?

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Contentment, I love the sound of that word. There’s just something about it that strikes an image of peaceful resting in my mind. In the last few months I have wrestled more with this verb than usual and really that’s what it has been, a wrestling match. Picture me on the floor trying to pin down contentment and all the while what has been needed is simply for me to stop resisting and let contentment pin me.

Never mind that my discontent has been petty. The more time I spend condemning myself for the pettiness of my discontentment issues the less time I spend in surrender. When a spirit of discontent comes upon me it must be dealt with no matter how petty. It is an inner struggle affecting my soul and threatening my walk with Christ. Is that not enough to take it seriously? If it is over silly superficial things or if it is over dramatic heart wrenching situations, the command is to be content and the promise from God’s word is that it is possible because we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength Phil 1:3.

There is so much to be said on this topic. My short blog post will barely scratch the surface so I recommend these things that have been helpful to me.

First, read God’s word regularly. I find that the more I get to know God through his word the more I can trust him to be the good, wise, merciful, and sovereign God that he is. Just this morning I finished reading Jeremiah. What a blessing that book has been to me. It ends in a somewhat peculiar manner. After chapter after chapter about God’s impending judgment, there is a story about Jehoiachin. Jehoiachin was the king of Judah living in captivity in Babylon. Nebuchadnezzar had died and was succeeded by his son who was named Evil-merodach (don’t let the name fool you). Evil, I’ll call him for short, had a strange compassion upon Jehoiachin who had been sitting in prison from the time he was 18 until he was 37. According to Matthew Henry, who I consulted as I realized I didn’t know who Jehoichin was, Jehoiachin had been imprisoned as a young prince. Imagine that – from a life of privilege and luxury for 18 years to a life in a Babylonian prison for 19 years. Suddenly you are sprung from prison and treated kindly by the king. You are given a place of honor and provided for all the remaining days of your life. I like what Matthew Henry says about this story:

“Let those whose afflictions have been lengthened out encourage themselves with this instance; the vision will at the end speak comfortably; and therefore wait for it. While there is life there is hope. Though we now suffer we shall not always suffer.”

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I’m not the most consistent blogger, obviously, but I do find it funny how God will remind me of this blog. In my reading of Jeremiah this morning God spoke to me regarding pride and I was thinking that I should write a post about it. The problem is that a few posts ago I made a list for myself of topics to cover for a while.  I’ve written about the first two, and honestly couldn’t even remember what was coming next. So, a little reluctantly I pulled up that old post with the list to see what was next and if my impressions this morning could fit in somehow. I wanted to chuckle when I saw what was next. Be glad to be humbled and boast only in Jesus Christ.  When I wrote that a few weeks a go I was coming from a different angle and didn’t exactly expect to be reminded of it through Jeremiah but God’s words are much better than my thoughts on this subject anyway.  So here goes.

In Jeremiah 50 God is speaking through Jeremiah once again to tell a nation of its impending judgment. This time it’s Babylon.  The indictment is that they have oppressed Israel, are full of pride, and idolatrous. There’s not much different there from the indictments toward the other nations that are also being judged. The thing that caught my attention was verse 31 and 32, which sound so similar to other verses about pride. 

• Verse 31 says, “Behold I am against you, O proud one, declares the Lord God of hosts.”  That reminds me of  verses like James4:6 and I Peter 5:5 that say that God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble.
• Verse 32 says “the proud one shall stumble and fall, with none to raise him up.” That verse reminds me of the verse in Proverbs16:18: Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  

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God spoke to me this morning about my attitude. What he revealed through an obscure passage of scripture was profound to me. I was reading along in Jeremiah 45, God’s message to Baruch, the scribe who was assigned to write down all of the messages from the Lord that were spoken through the prophet Jeremiah. He says to Baruch in verse 5: “And do you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not…” Why was he not supposed to seek them? The verse goes on to say that God is bringing destruction on the land (He has a bigger purpose) and that Baruch will be given his life as a prize of war. Here’s where I discovered my attitude - I felt a bit sorry for Baruch. My thinking when like this: “poor Baruch has to content himself with only his life.” If you could hear the sound effects in my head you would hear that needle scratching a record sound as I think, “whoa, wait a minute, something’s not right with that attitude.”

First of all the God of the universe just gave a very personal message to Baruch. That in itself is astounding. Secondly he has promised to give him his life as a prize of war in a situation that is very dire – life and death. In a life and death situation I would be very grateful to have my life preserved. I was thinking Baruch got the consolation prize, personal greatness vs. salvation.

How often I am guilty of this sinful thinking in my own life. When things are not going smoothly for me (I’m seeking great things for myself) I will struggle to find joy in the gospel that says God has given me life. I clearly don’t understand the dire circumstances that I have been saved from. God is bringing about destruction on all those against him and for some reason he has promised me my life as a prize of war. This is not consolation prize! This is not about my greatness but about His greatness. What joy fills my heart when I have a right understanding of this.

Rejoicing in the gospel- my salvation – is having an eternal perspective. It’s seeking first the kingdom of heaven and His righteousness (to which I cling) Matt. 6 not seeking great things for myself whatever that may entail. It’s having the same attitude of Christ Jesus who did not seek personal greatness but humbled himself to become a servant and to be obedient even to death (thank God!)Phil 2. It’s thanking God for my salvation – a prize of war – and clinging to future promises.

How often I seek great things for myself. God’s message to me this morning is: “SEEK THEM NOT.”

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The other day I made a list of things God brought to my mind as a result of seeing my dad recently. At the top of that list was: Don’t put hope in the temporal. Did I mention that this list is part of a lifelong sanctification process? I will be learning this over and over until I die. So what temporal things am I personally tempted to put my hope in?  Right off the top of my brain the approval of others comes to mind. Why do I hope to be approved of?  Well, I guess I want to feel good about myself. I’m desiring to get some sort of happiness out of the opinions of others. Oh boy, that sounds like a bad plan. Not only is it robbing God of glory that he deserves it is exhausting just thinking about it.  Do I approve of any one person 100% of the time?  How could I ever hope to keep every one I come in contact with thinking I’m wonderful all of the time? Hopeless

I hate to say it but yes, I am also tempted to put hope in stuff. Some things have happened to me in the past several months that have proved to me that this bit of idolatry is alive and kicking when I thought it wasn’t an issue. How absurd to put hope in things that will all eventually end up in a junk pile or in the very best case – a museum.  Hopeless

This list could be endless but I’ll just choose one more example. How about quality of life? I hope for a blissful, pain free existence.  Thanks to Christ I will experience that some day but to hope for it here on earth is going to disappoint.  It’s part of living in a world of sin. Now of course I don’t consciously hope for this. Everyone knows that life has hard and painful moments, but I sure don’t act like I know this when I react to suffering as if it were something I thought I could avoid.  There are many things God in his goodness gives us to enjoy but to think all of life should be fun…hopeless.

I’m attempting to make a very brief and small point here. Placing my hope in anything other than God’s mercy through Jesus Christ is a worthless pursuit.  There must be something better, there is something better, and I’ll write about that in the next blog post.

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I’ve just returned from a trip to see my dad. He lives far away from me so I don’t get to see him very often. I had sweet fellowship with my sister whom I hadn’t seen in almost 15 years so I am grateful, but time with my dad was difficult. There was no flicker of recognition in his eyes; his happiness to see me had more to do with having a visitor than the fact that I am his daughter. The time is here when I mean nothing to him. The Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s have progressed past the point of remembering those who were once close to him. Still, his body is relatively strong and he is not in pain – that is something to be thankful for.

It’s a strange feeling to not be remembered by your father. I guess it is just one more way that this world is a dark shadow of eternal things, a place that is wasting away. Every day brings us closer to the time when there will be no more frail minds, no more tears and sadness, and no more sin to taint things. Seeing my dad reminded me once again not to hope in things or even people here on earth. It is all perishable – every tangible thing. Sometimes I am discouraged by this realization. I don’t like thinking about my life or the lives of those I care about slowly fading into nothingness. But if I take a biblical view of it, it is a joyous thing more than a sad thing. It should be my aim to fade so that Christ is enlarged. He must increase and I must decrease so John the baptist says. As my life undergoes the ultimate fading of death I will find myself in a place where there will be no more struggle to keep Jesus at the center. My perishable body will be exchanged for an imperishable one and there will be unspeakable joy. For now my life is fading, but not into nothingness, every action done for Christ is rewarded and will last beyond this life. I would do well to keep this at the forefront of my mind.

Note to self:

Don’t put hope in the temporal
Live for eternal things
Be glad to be humbled and boast only in Christ
Be content with whatever God has seen fit to give
Rejoice always for the amazing gift of salvation – real hope for now and eternity!

Hmm, that sounds like a good list for upcoming blog posts….

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When my husband became associate pastor at our church the man he replaced, Mark Alderton, was the pastor God used in our lives more than any other up to that point. Why was his influence on us so profound? Because he continually pointed us to the gospel during a time when our eyes were being opened to the glorious truths found there.

One way Mark’s ministry affected me personally was through a seminar on Bible study and interpretation that he taught. He made a very simple statement toward the end of the seminar that would have a huge impact on the way I read my Bible. He said, “When you read the Bible, always look for the gospel.” That’s it, no magic formula, just an admonition to look for the gospel. He had of course prior to that statement spent time teaching us how the Bible is God’s story of redemption and that it all points to Christ.

Not long after that I was reading Hebrews. What had once been a somewhat confusing book to me came alive with the gospel. By the time I finished reading it I was in complete awe of Jesus. I will never forget that experience. And that continued to be my experience as I read the rest of the New Testament that year.

But that was the New Testament full of direct references to Jesus, would reading the Old Testament be the same?  YES! I’m on a rather slow reading track so I am on my second year of reading the Old Testament and still seeing Christ all over it. If you could peek at the notes in the margin of my journaling bible you’d see that as I’ve read Jeremiah on a daily basis I have thanked God for the gospel. Here is one example of that; I shared this in our church a few weeks ago:

In Jeremiah chapter 14 the Israelites find themselves in a very scary place. Scarier than any trial those of us who believe will ever face. They are under the wrath of God. He says of them in verse 10- Thus says the LORD concerning this people: “They have loved to wander thus; they have not restrained their feet; therefore the LORD does not accept them; now he will remember their iniquity and punish their sins.”

He goes on to say how he will punish them in verse 12, “but I will consume them by the sword, by famine, and by pestilence.”

I think that God would want to remind us that He is completely righteous and just. His punishment is deserved. It is not harsh or unfair.

I think He would also want to remind us of this: we deserve this same punishment. The fact that we will not see it is purely by God’s grace and mercy and has nothing to do with our goodness – in fact it is despite our sinfulness.

Because of Jesus alone we find ourselves in a very different place where God says to us that he will accept us as his children, he will remember our iniquities no more because Jesus took the punishment for our sins. What can we do but praise Him? We have been spared the greatest trial anyone could ever face because of the gift of faith in Jesus.

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If I shouldn’t follow my heart then what do I do when I feel the desires of my heart entice me and lure me away into sin as James chapter 1 says?

God makes a point through Jeremiah that our hearts continually lead us into idolatry. My seemingly innocent desires can deceive me and lead me to worship something else. I see it happen in my own life on any given day.

My desire for a peaceful and smooth day is often mocked by life. Inevitably there is a conflict or something that will happen to overthrow my plans. In those moments if I follow my heart I go down the road of self-pity and if I stay on that road I might get lost among the roads of doubt, despair, unbelief, and even rebellion. At that point I am bowing down and worshipping myself.

But what if I went down a different road? What if in the middle of a hard conflict I stopped thinking about how it affects me and instead began to preach truth to myself? What if I remembered that God sovereignly allows each thing to come my way for His good purposes? What if I bowed down and submitted myself to Him rather than acting as if He was somehow uninvolved or uncaring? What if I saw the situation in light of God’s redemptive purposes? I have a pretty good idea that the outcome in my heart would be different.

But here’s the rub – in the moment of difficulty I can’t do any of that in my own strength. Not following my heart is the most unnatural thing for my flesh to do. My heart is deceitful therefore I must learn to have a healthy distrust of it. Even my best efforts are tainted with sinful desires. My heart wants a formula to follow that will get me back on track to a smooth and peaceful life quicker. If I just _______ (you name it) then everything will magically turn to joy.

My hope cannot be in victory over struggle. My hope cannot be in my ability to do the right thing. My hope is found in nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.

Thomas Wilcox says this in Honey Out of  the Rock:

Look more at justification than sanctification. In the highest commands consider Christ, not as an exacter to require, but a debtor, committed to work according to His promise. If you have looked at word, duties and qualifications, more than at the merits of Christ, it will cost you dear. No wonder you go about complaining; graces may be evidences, the merits of Christ alone must be the foundation of your hope to stand on. Christ only can be the hope of glory (Col 1:27).

When we come to God, we must bring nothing but Christ with us. Any ingredients, or any previous qualifications of our own, will poison and corrupt faith. He that builds upon duties, graces, etc., knows not the merits of Christ. This makes believing so hard, so far above nature. If you believe, you must every day renounce, as dung and dross (Phil 3:7,8), your privileges, your obedience, your baptism, your sanctification, your duties, your graces, your tears, your meltings, your humblings, and nothing but Christ must be held up. Every day your workings and your self-sufficiency must be destroyed. You must take all out of God’s hand. Christ is the gift of God (John 4:10). Faith is the gift of God (Eph 2:8). Pardon is a free gift (Isa 45:22). Ah, how nature storms, frets, rages at this, that all is of gift and it can purchase nothing with its acting and tears and duties, that all workings are excluded, and of no value in heaven.

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“And I say HEY, what a wonderful kind of way we can learn to work and play and get along with each other. You’ve got to listen to your heart, listen to the beat, listen to the rhythm the rhythm on the street, it’s a simple message one that comes from your heart; believe in yourself and that’s the place to start.”

Does this sound familiar to you? It may be familiar if you’ve ever had a child who enjoyed watching the show Arthur on PBS. My kids enjoyed the show when they were younger. The words above are from the theme song that plays at the beginning. The sad thing is that I didn’t look those words up; they were in my head – instant recall.  That catchy tune has gone through my head numerous times as I’ve read Jeremiah because the words are in complete opposition to what Jeremiah is saying. As a side note, I am not denouncing the show Arthur. My kids have talked with me about the theme song and discussed why it is wrong. My point is not particularly the evilness of Arthur but the pervasiveness of this message in our culture.

How many times have you heard the phrase follow your heart or believe in yourself? Plenty of times I’m sure.

The message I’ve been getting from Jeremiah is more like this:

God is telling them why His judgment is upon them in 9:13-14And the LORD says: "Because they have forsaken my law that I set before them, and have not obeyed my voice or walked in accord with it, but have stubbornly followed their own hearts and have gone after the Baals, as their fathers taught them.

Chapter 13:10 says, This evil people, who refuse to hear my words, who stubbornly follow their own heart and have gone after other gods to serve them and worship them, shall be like this loincloth, which is good for nothing.

Chapter 18:12 says, "But they say, 'That is in vain! We will follow our own plans, and will every one act according to the stubbornness of his evil heart.'

Chapter 3:17At that time Jerusalem shall be called the throne of the LORD, and all nations shall gather to it, to the presence of the LORD in Jerusalem, and they shall no more stubbornly follow their own evil heart.

I’m not done with the book yet but just from what I’ve seen so far I have become even more convinced that following our hearts is a false gospel.

Chapter 17 points this out clearly in verses 5-10

5Thus says the LORD:"Cursed is the man who trusts in man
   and makes flesh his strength,
   whose heart turns away from the LORD.
6 He is like a shrub in the desert,
    and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
   in an uninhabited salt land.

 7 "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
    whose trust is the LORD.
8 He is like a tree planted by water,
   that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
   for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
   for it does not cease to bear fruit."

 9The heart is deceitful above all things,
   and desperately sick;
   who can understand it?
10 "I the LORD search the heart
    and test the mind,
 to give every man according to his ways,
   according to the fruit of his deeds."


We’ve heard verse 9 before but in context of verses 5-8 it makes me pause to consider that one way I can trust in man like verse 5 mentions is to trust in my heart. All of my trust must be in the LORD, not myself or anyone else. This is the way I must come to God, with full trust in the work of Jesus Christ and no trust in myself or anything else to save me.

My heart will keep me flip flopping between relying on my own righteousness to please God or feeling condemnation when I am keenly aware of my failures. I must cling to the objective truth of God’s word regardless of what my heart feels at any given moment.

It’s a simple message, but one that comes from God’s word, believe in Christ Jesus – that’s the place to start – and end!

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I have to admit that I can have a tendency to avoid this blog. Mainly because I keep struggling with the same things over and over and I don’t want to keep rehashing those struggles here. The other day I was sharing some of my struggles with some friends and one of them asked me essentially if I understood that everyone is in the same boat. When she asked me that I realized that I am very often tempted to think that other people have it all together for the most part. My husband told me that if I believe that to be true I should read Puritan literature. They were often struggling with the same things and reminding themselves of the gospel over and over again.

You’d think by now that I’d have preaching the gospel to myself down pat. I do hope to be growing in that area and I know that I have grown in the last few years but I will never outgrow my total neediness and dependence on God to work in me. I’m right back to my ongoing struggle with pride, particularly in desiring to fix myself by myself, and looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places. Oh how this opposes the gospel! I wish I could say that when I write a blog post about something that God has taught me that I have that lesson down pat and am ready to move on to other things. So often as I reread my posts I feel like the person who wrote them was someone else; surely I would remember those lessons! Yet, there they are for me to read and remind myself that no matter how slow I am God will faithfully keep reminding me of the cross and reminding me that I will never be fully sanctified until I reach heaven.

With those things in mind I want to share some lessons I’ve been learning from reading Jeremiah lately and the things God has been reminding me of through the gospel. In order to keep my posts short, I’ll be posting them daily for a time (Lord willing). I hope that in sharing these things I will encourage anyone who reads them to keep their eyes on Jesus and at the same time remind myself to do likewise.

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I have been thinking lately about how most of my life I have been endeavoring to make peace with imperfection Whether it’s my own imperfection or the imperfection of those around me, imperfection exists in every single thing that has to do with this world. We live in a place that has been tainted with imperfection and I feel the tension of it.  Many times I have tried to make peace with imperfection by trying harder to be perfect. I have often looked at people, situations, or things and hoped to find in them the perfection my heart was longing for. Over and over my heart is disappointed by this life and what it has to offer.

Life seems to always be like that, expectations never fully turn out the way I hope. It could be my natural bent toward gloom rather than sunshine, but I suppose God intends life to be disappointing in some ways.  We live in an imperfect world, whether we are pre-disposed to see it or not.

There’s a blessing in this tendency to see life’s disappointments. My gaze is forced upward to the truly perfect.

I’ve just begun reading Jeremiah in the mornings and I am struck afresh by God’s words through Jeremiah in chapter 2.

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This time of year our thoughts naturally go to gift giving. I have to admit something. I am not very good at giving gifts.  I’ve noticed about myself that I enjoy giving when I know there is something in particular that will help or bless a person especially when they aren’t expecting it.  That rules out Christmas and birthdays. These occasions make me feel a bit as if I am buying something just for the sake of buying something because it is the expected thing to do.  Some years I am more on top of it and have been thinking about gift giving all year so I enter the season/occasion prepared to bless others but other years, like this one, every gift-giving occasion leaves me feeling stumped about what to give. 

How thankful I am that my gift giving abilities or lack of them has nothing to do with my salvation.  Ridiculous you say?  Why would I even make such a silly connection?  Of course my ability to give gifts does not factor into my salvation. It seems like a no brainer but how often when I evaluate my life do I think about my many failures with self-condemnation and look more to my improvement than Christ’s merits?  After all at it’s root my dilemma with gift giving points to a heart that is not thinking of others first, not having a generous heart like God’s, and caring more about what others think of me than what God thinks of me.

That’s just it, behind every little tendency and deficiency in my life there is sin.  I begin to feel the weight of it. Honey Out Of The Rock has this encouragement for me:

“You complain much of yourself. Does your sin make you look more at Christ, less at yourself? That is right, or else complaining is but hypocrisy. To be looking at duties, graces, enlargements, when you should be looking at Christ, that is pitiful. Looking at them will make you proud; looking at Christ’s grace will only make you humble. By grace you are saved (Eph 2:5). In all your temptations be not discouraged (James 1:2). Those scourges may be not to break you, but to heave you off yourself upon the Rock, Christ.”

"When we come to God, we must bring nothing but Christ with us. Any ingredients, or any previous qualifications of our own, will poison and corrupt faith. He that builds upon duties, graces, etc., knows not the merits of Christ. This makes believing so hard, so far above nature. If you believe, you must every day renounce, as dung and dross (Phil 3:7,8), your privileges, your obedience, your baptism, your sanctification, your duties, your graces, your tears, your meltings, your humblings, and nothing but Christ must be held up. Every day your workings and your self-sufficiency must be destroyed. You must take all out of God’s hand. Christ is the gift of God (John 4:10). Faith is the gift of God (Eph 2:8). Pardon is a free gift (Isa 45:22). Ah, how nature storms, frets, rages at this, that all is of gift and it can purchase nothing with its acting and tears and duties, that all workings are excluded, and of no value in heaven."

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“Now none are more fruitful in divine labor--than 
those who are most joyful under a sense of the 
divine favor. “


William Secker, "The Consistent Christian" 1660

I really like this quote. I got it in an email this morning from a great resource called Grace Gems. This ministry sends out daily devotionals via email from Puritan writers.  They also have many e-books available from Puritans on their website – everything is free!  Their website is Grace Gems if anyone is interested in checking them out.

Now, back to the above quote. It caught my attention because as I’ve sought to meditate on the gospel more I’ve been wondering about how much I do stems from self-righteousness – that is trying to become righteous in myself. This quote speaks to me that my labor should always be born out of a sense of the favor God has granted me through Jesus.   It’s one thing to know in your head that salvation is a gift and it’s another thing entirely to labor as if it isn’t. It takes a careful examination of one’s heart to see if there is really true belief in the gospel.

 I’ve been greatly affected the last couple of weeks from reading the booklet Honey out of the Rock by Thomas Wilcox (1621-1687). Take the following paragraphs from the booklet:

If you have seen Christ truly, you have seen pure grace, pure righteousness in Him in every way infinite, far exceeding all sin and misery. If you have seen Christ, you can trample upon all the righteousness of men and angels, so as to bring you into acceptance with God. If you have seen Christ, you would not do a duty without Him for ten thousand worlds (I Cor 2:2). If ever you saw Christ, you saw him as a Rock, higher than self-righteousness, Satan, and sin (Psalm 61:2), and this Rock follows you (I Cor 10:4); and there will be continual dropping of honey and grace out of that Rock to satisfy you (Psalm 81:16). Examine if ever you have beheld Christ as the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14). Be sure you have come to Christ, that you stand upon the Rock of Ages, and have answered to His call to your soul, and have closed with Him for justification.

Men talk bravely of believing, while whole and sound; but few know it. Christ is the mystery of the Scripture; grace the mystery of Christ. Believing is the most wonderful thing in the world. Put any thing of your own to it, and you spoil it. Christ will not so much as look at it for believing. When you believe and come to Christ, you must leave behind you your own righteousness, and bring nothing but your sin: (Oh, that is hard!) leave behind all your holiness, sanctification, duties, humblings, and so on; and bring nothing but your needs and miseries, or else Christ is not fit for you, nor you for Christ. Christ will be a pure Redeemer and Mediator, and you must be an undone sinner, or Christ and you will never agree. It is the hardest thing in the world to take Christ alone for righteousness: that is to acknowledge Him Christ. Join any thing to Him of your own, and you un-Christ Him.

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I hope I will be able to articulate what I am thinking and feeling right now. Do you ever have a time when God presses something home to you? Is it not a sweet experience with the Lord when you feel him revealing a truth to you in a new way?  I had that sort of experience tonight or I should say I am having that kind of experience right now.  How can I even briefly summarize?

I just came from our parent/youth meeting. My husband spoke on the topic of God's holiness using Isaiah 6:1-6.  These verses are very familiar to me, in fact we had to memorize them in Bible school. But tonight I saw them through the eyes of Isaiah. Isaiah had a tough life, and he was mourning the loss of a friend, his king. When he enters the temple he saw a glimpse of THE KING and what he saw was a picture of God's holiness.  His response was, "woe is me for I am undone I am a man of unclean lips." God's response was to use a coal to cauterize Isaiah's lips, removing the sin. It says his sin was atoned for. Why? Because of Jesus. God's plan was already in motion even before Jesus came to earth. God was pointing Isaiah to the cross hundreds of years before it happened just like he points me to the cross hundreds of years after it happened. 

Shortly after the talk I was talking to someone whose wife has been undergoing chemo treatments for breast cancer. After we finished talking I had this thought: in light of God's holiness our suffering is nothing. Whether it's cancer, betrayal by a husband, facing financial ruin, being devastated by sin; your own or someone elses', unrepentant children, conflict, physical or mental weakness, you name it when you shine the light of God's holiness on it, that situation will not be an issue. When we truly see God's holiness all we will be able to think about is our great sinfulness, and when we see our sinfulness in light of God's holiness we will see his merciful plan to atone for our sins through Jesus. 

Isaiah was often the bearer of bad news. He was often commanded by God to say and do some pretty outrageous or unpopular things. Tradition says that he died by being sawn in two.  What in the world could have sustained him through all of this?  Why didn't he give up when things got tough? I believe it was the vision of God's holiness that sustained him.

When we get to heaven will we even spend one moment dwelling on our rough plight here on earth?  We will join in the heavenly song of Holy, Holy, Holy and there will be nothing but gratefulness and thankfulness to God for his love and mercy. There will be nothing but praise to our Savior. 

It makes me want to right now say with David in Psalm 34, " I will bless the LORD at all times, his praise shall continually be in my mouth."  May God grant me the ability to see this vision more and more here on earth.

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Yesterday in my quiet time I read Isaiah 50. I love it when the Bible addresses specific things that you are going through. Isaiah 50 was that way for me yesterday. There were several parts that encouraged me but I want to share just one section here. Verses 10-11 say:

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It’s been a long while since I posted an entry in this blog. It’s not that I didn’t have anything to say but life has just been so busy. The longer I have waited the harder it has become to just sit down and write something. There have been pretty major changes in our lives in these last months. I want to take just a moment to recap them.

In July my husband went on staff as a pastor at our church. That change was full of so many emotions. Never in our wildest imagination, when we moved here, did we think it would turn out that way so of course this brought a lot of joy. But mixed in with that was sorrow because the man he would be replacing was going to serve in another church. He and his family had been so instrumental in our lives over the last two years, it was difficult not to smile and cry at the same time during that transition.

In August we found ourselves house hunting. Now that we were here “permanently” we desired to find a home of our own. God led us to a home and we purchased it (well, in reality the bank purchased it and we pay the bank and get the responsibility of caring for it☺)!

In September I spent my days packing, beginning the homeschool routine, stripping wallpaper, painting, moving, and unpacking.  Everyone has moved at some point in his or her life so I don’t need to elaborate. Let’s just say it was taxing and brought out much sin in me.

October was more of the same as we continued to get unpacked and settle back into our school routines. 

In the midst of these things God, in his wisdom, saw fit to throw us more opportunities to serve his body and challenges that we felt inadequate for. By this point sin is bubbling over in my life and my days have been either up or down. Often I have sat in despair feeling like life was bleak and doubting the goodness of God.  What in the world is wrong with me?  One would think I should be full of joy because the desires of my heart had been fulfilled. Therein lies the problem.

My father in law asked me last time he visited what I thought Proverbs 3:5 meant. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.  My answer was immediate. If I am delighting in the Lord he will become the desire of my heart and he will never withhold himself.  My desires have been revealed to be idolatrous. Whether it’s a desire for security, a home, recognition, ease, comfort, control, or peace, my desires are misplaced if they aren’t in the Lord.  Some of those things might be Ok but they don’t give me lasting joy, they are temporal and fading pleasures tainted by sin.

Yesterday God spoke to me clearly on two occasions. The first occasion found me in the car before church reading my Bible feeling emotional and overwhelmed with all of the sin I was seeing in my life. I basically said to God, “Ok, I see my sin all over the place but I don’t even know where to begin, what do you want me to focus on?” I immediately heard his still small voice in my head whisper, “the gospel.” Then right after that this line from “It is Well With My Soul” popped into my head. “My sin O the bliss of this glorious thought, my sin not in part but the whole, was nailed to the cross and I bear them no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord O my soul.” It was a clear call to remember the gospel. Later on in the day I was receiving counsel from some dear friends and they reiterated the same thing. Remember the gospel, and this encouragement, “if I were to completely conquer the sin that I’m struggling with I would be no more justified before God than I already am right now.” What a good reminder to this sin weary soul!

There are a variety of ways that I can remember the gospel. I can read it in the Bible and in gospel-saturated books, which I will. I can say it to myself, which I will. I can listen to sermons where the gospel is highlighted, which I hope to do. Then I realized that for me another way to remember the gospel is to write about it in this blog. I hope to do that more often now because it has been a means of grace to me in the past.  The point is…I need to remember. Just because I focused on the gospel in the past or was reminded frequently of the gospel last year, last month, yesterday, or even 5 minutes ago, I need to remember now. As CJ Mahaney says, “ we never move on from the gospel”.  I can testify that we do drift from it if it is not our constant focus. 

Thank you God for reminding me once again!

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Sixteen years ago today I spent most of the day sitting in my rocking chair staring at the most amazing thing I had ever seen, my first-born child. I couldn’t help but stare, this new precious little one had just arrived and I didn’t want to miss an expression that passed over her lovely face.

Sixteen years is a long time yet it seems like I blinked and she was taking her first steps. I blinked again and she was a bubbly five year old, a very mature ten-year-old ready to take charge of any group and then a beautiful young woman. Becca, as she now likes to be called has been a picture of God’s mercy to me. There are so many questions in an expectant mom’s mind, especially before the first child. What will they look like? What will their personality be like? Do I even know what I’m doing? No, and that’s the mercy, God gave me a child that has exceeded my expectations and I did absolutely nothing to deserve it. I can truthfully say that I have a daughter who is beautiful inside and out. One who is sensitive to God and so desirous to be pure that she will come to me on her own to confess sins that could easily be hidden. Yes, she is my child but in many ways she is an example to me. For the countless times she has served me, hugged me when I was having a rough day, gently rebuked me, delighted in surprising me, and taken me out for a treat (yes you read that right – she’s the one with the spending money☺) I am so grateful and desire to be more like her in those ways.  I have watched her grow in her love for Christ especially in these last two years and I am profoundly thankful for the work God has been doing in her.

No, it hasn’t been perfect. She’s not perfect and neither am I. There have been angry words over the years, and many tears spilled yet God has been so kind to give us a love and friendship with each other that is strong.  Becca has been one of God’s good gifts to me, one of many that I don’t deserve and I want to honor her today on her sixteenth birthday. His grace is amazing!

Becca, I love you. I look forward to seeing what God will do in you as you continue to grow.

Mom

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I haven't written for awhile.  We enjoyed 18 days with my husband's parents which kept me busier than usual.  After they left I was feeling out of sorts and unable to get back into normal routine.  Suddenly I felt myself going into a downward spiral.  Feelings were ruling my day and I seemed glad to bow in submission to them.  Some of last years issues, financial struggles, emerged unexpectedly along with anxiety over homeschooling and comparing myself to everyone else. I found myself feeling defeated and hopeless which means that I was not looking at the cross. My eyes were horizontal instead of vertical and instead of just repenting and believing the gospel, my knee jerk reaction immediately was to condemn myself for my sinful thoughts and feelings. God graciously pointed out to me these errors through his word, my husband, and a good friend but even still there is was this residue of feeling that I had disappointed God.

One morning last week my husband shared these words from the  commentary on Romans from John Stott.  Stott writes about the concluding verses in chapter 8:

"Here then are five convictions about God's providence (8:28), five affirmations about his purpose (29,30) and five questions about his love (31,39), which together bring us fifteen assurances about him. We urgently need them today, since nothing seems stable in our world any longer. Insecurity is written across all human temptation, tribulation or tragedy, but we are promised victory over them. God's pledge is not that suffering will never afflict us, but that it will never separate us from his love.

This is the love of God which was supremely displayed in the cross (5:8;8:32,37), which has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit(5:5), which has drawn out from us our responsive love (8:28), and which is in its essential steadfastness will never let us go, since it is committed to bringing us safe home to glory in the end (8:35,39). Our confidence is not in our love for him, which is frail, fickle and faltering, but in his love for us, which is steadfast, faithful and preserving. The doctrine of 'the perseverance of the saints' needs to be re-named. It is the doctrine of the perseverance of God with the saints.

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I grew up with hymns.  My dad was the song leader (that’s what they were called in those days) at some of the churches we went to, so not only did we have hymns at church but I heard them at home as well. I remember the fun of Sunday night hymn sings (boy do I sound old☺!).  We had our favorite hymns and all of the young people would shoot up our hands as soon as one was finished so that we could suggest the next one.  For all of the hymn singing we did however, I can honestly say that I never thought much about the words. My favorites had more to do with the tune than the content.  It wasn’t until I got older that I began to appreciate hymns for the truths that they proclaimed. Not all hymns are equal however. Some are shallow just like some of today’s modern worship music. Just because it is in a hymnal doesn’t make it sacred. I appreciate both modern and older worship music if it proclaims truth and glorifies God. 

When I was in Bible school we memorized certain hymns.  Jesus I am Resting Resting was one of them. I never appreciated that hymn at all.  The tune was a distraction to me for some reason. Several years ago I heard a remake of this hymn with a fresh tune and all of the sudden it’s amazing truth stood out to me.  It was like a whole new song for me.  Some people have a hard time with changing a hymn in any way but I appreciate it if it makes the content clearer.  How many hymns in a hymnal have revisions listed anyway – almost none of them are in the original form or language. 

All of that opinion just to introduce a song today. Bob Kauflin has done a wonderful job tweaking some really great hymns.  I appreciate the effort he puts into this because it means that songs sung by those saints before us could be enjoyed and appreciated by today’s generation.  He has a great album called Upward: The Bob Kauflin Hymns Project that is filled with these gems, but there are some on other albums produced by Sovereign Grace Ministries as well.  It’s hard to highlight just one but since I want to proclaim the cross here I will use an old familiar hymn. It’s worth a download in my opinion. What a great way to fill our minds with the gospel!

Rock of Ages

Music and additional lyrics by Bob Kauflin
Lyrics by Augustus Toplady
As recorded on Upward

Lyrics

Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee
Let the water and the blood
From Thy wounded side which flowed
Be of sin the double cure
Save from wrath and make me pure

All the labors of my hands
Could not meet Thy law’s demands
Could my zeal no respite know
Could my tears forever flow?
All for sin could not atone
Thou must save, and Thou alone

Nothing in my hands I bring
Simply to Thy cross I cling
Naked come to Thee for dress
Helpless, look to Thee for grace
To Thy fountain, Lord, I fly
Wash me Savior or I die

While I draw this fleeting breath
When my eyes shall close in death
When I soar to worlds unknown
See Thee on Thy judgment throne
Rock of Ages, cleft for me
Let me hide myself in Thee

© 1998 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

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Speaking of worry or fears, the ladies over at the girltalk blog had good words to share today on that subject.  Check it out.

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Worry has been a companion of mine for as long as I can remember. My parents modeled it and I just assumed it was a way of life. It wasn’t until I was over 30 that God really began revealing this as sin in my life.  Worry can be as subtle as wondering what someone thinks about me and how something I’ve been working on will go; to worry about how my kids will turn out, finances, our nations economy, the election, the war, and evil that is in the world. 

Why is worry a sin? After all, it seems natural that we would be concerned about the things that matter to us. As you know, the Bible tells us many times not to worry or be anxious – why?  Worry undermines God’s glory being revealed in my life. It proclaims that God is not big enough to take care of this world. It says that He is not Sovereign. It’s serious!

What’s the antidote to worry?  Of course it’s trust in God and believing in His sovereignty.  Just this morning I read this verse: Blessed be the Lord who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Ps 68:19 This is one of perhaps thousands of verses or examples in the Bible that could build up trust in God.  Reflecting daily on the cross also helps because it reminds us that the worst thing that could ever happen to us, the wrath of God being poured out on us has already been taken care of by Jesus Christ. He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32

Certain music has helped me to preach this truth to myself.  I highlighted the Come Weary Saints album on Monday – God’s sovereignty is its theme.  Valley of Vision would be another album in that category.  I want to highlight a single song today – though there are many that preach this truth.  I love the line “And so to Him I leave it all.”

Whatever My God Ordains Is Right

Original words by Samuel Rodigast, 1676
Translated by Catherine Winkworth, 1863
Music and alternate words by Mark Altrogge
As recorded on In a Little While

Lyrics

Whatever my God ordains is right
In His love I am abiding
I will be still in all He does
And follow where He is guiding
He is my God, though dark my road
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all

Whatever my God ordains is right
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path
I know He will not leave me
I take content, what He has sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day

Whatever my God ordains is right
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, or need, or death be mine
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care circles me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all

Whatever my God ordains is right
Though now this cup in drinking
Bitter it seems to my faint heart
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true, each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart

© 2007 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

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Here's a song that had a powerful affect on me last week. After singing it at church on Sunday we downloaded it. While baking a batch of cookies on Monday it played over and over on my daughter's ipod through the stereo.  My hands were busy, and the kids were all occupied elsewhere, so I couldn't get over to change the song. God used that to cement it and the truth it proclaims in my mind. The Holy Spirit reminded me of it's truth several times last week as I endeavored to remember the gospel. 

Here is the link to search for songs: Sovereign Grace Ministries Song Database

Here are the lyrics:

I Love The Cross

Words and music by Mark Altrogge
As recorded on Everlasting

Lyrics

All my sins forgiven
Far removed as east from west
Cast into the depths of the ocean
Of grace and redeeming love

I love the place where my Savior died
I love the place where I was justified
I love the place
Where Your blood flowed down
To give me life
I love the Cross
I love the Cross
I love the Cross
The Cross of Christ

All my guilt atoned for
Every debt is paid in full
Though my sins were scarlet
Now I’m clean as a fresh fallen snow

© 1999 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI).

These simple words encapsulate so well the work of the cross and give me such hope in Christ!

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Music has always been a powerful medium in my life. When I was younger I only listened for  my own enjoyment leading to my own harm many times. Yet God has used music to change me and to even bend my stubborn will to his. As a prodigal 18 year old it was the Holy Spirit using the song What A Friend We Have in Jesus that caused me to weep over my sin and desire to turn back to God. Now, because of God's grace in my life, I listen to cross-centered, God-glorifying music to preach truth to myself.  My favorite music to accomplish this is Sovereign Grace Music. The musical styles are very diverse but one thing I can count on is the lyrical content being full of theological truth. The men and women who write these songs are well taught and involved in their local churches. They have an accountability for the lyrics of their songs and are challenged if they are unclear or erroneous - before they get produced. Knowing that, and the commitment the leaders at Sovereign Grace Ministries have to maintain biblical truth in all their projects I can listen to these songs in confidence.

 I have the privilege of attending a Sovereign Grace church so not only do I listen to these songs throughout the week but I get to sing them with other believers on Sundays. It is such a joy to worship God in spirit and truth, in song, with our local church body.  This week I'll be highlighting some songs that God has used in my life and providing links to them so you can hear samples and even download them for 99 cents.  In this age a 99 cent download for a good song is a worthwhile investment.

I want to highlight an album today. It was just released last week and it's called Come Weary Saints. My husband received a copy of it at the Together For the Gospel conference he attended last week and we've been listening to it all weekend long. Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for church, I was listening to it in the bathroom and was filled with such joy in my heart and confidence in God's sovereign hand upon my life. The whole album is excellent so it's hard to highlight just one song. In particular the song "Every Day" was a good reminder to me that every thing that flows into our lives is ordained by God and that I should thank him for the trials and know that his grace is there. The album is intended to encourage Christians who are weary to put their trust and hope in a sovereign God. Here is the link to check it out for yourself: Sovereign Grace Music  And here are the lyrics to that specific song:

Every Day

By Joel Sczebel and Todd Twining

As recorded on Come Weary Saints

Lyrics

In Your grace, You know where I walk
You know when I fall
You know all my ways
In Your love, I know You allow
What I cannot grasp
To bring You praise

Thank You for the trials
For the fire, for the pain
Thank You for the strength
Knowing You have ordained
Every day

Your great power is shown when I’m weak
You help me to see
Your love in this place
Perfect peace is filling my mind
And drawing my heart
To praise You again

In my uncertainty, Your Word is all I need
To know You’re with me every day (repeat)

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP)/Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

Tomorrow, I'll introduce you to another song that has helped me get my focus off myself and onto the Savior.

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Yesterday got off to a rough start. In fact it just seemed to be spiraling downward until 12:45 when I had to leave to take my son to hockey. It wasn't anything major, just the typical family stuff, strife between siblings, bad attitudes, and my slip into worry over homeschooling and discipling my children. I dropped off my son and one of my daughters at the door of the arena because I didn't feel ready to go in. I took a few minutes in the parking lot and preached the gospel to myself.  What did that look like? It was a prayer acknowledging my need for God's intervention and strength.  It was a confession of my sins of that morning. It was a plea for Him to help me live out the reality of being free from sin and belonging to him because of Jesus.  You know what?  It helped.  I didn't have an instant joyous feeling like I did the other day in the middle of the store, but the truth seeped into my mind. By the time hockey was over the previous concerns had been replaced with hope in God's faithful and patient work in my life. 

Is the gospel a magic pill?  I've been trying to remember it all week, has it simply been a technique to make my days go better?  No, the gospel is truth and it transcends my feelings. The gospel is fact.  Facts don't change people but when people put their trust in facts there is a peace that springs up and a change in action.  If I didn't believe that the air outside my house was Ok to breathe I would never go outside. The fact that it is Ok to breathe doesn't change my desire to go out unless I believe it.  If I believe that I can walk outside and breathe normally then I will. Believing in the gospel changes people not just at conversion but on a day to day basis. The more we trust in the truth the more we will feel it's transforming effects in every area of life. Even the ability to believe is a gift of grace from God. How thankful I am for that gift.

The week is over and I hope to keep remembering the gospel on a daily basis.  As for daily blogging I'm not sure. I'll take that a day at a time. 

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The gospel is simple enough for the simple minded (like me) and complex enough for the very intelligent. I haven’t been able to talk much to my husband while he’s away at Together for the Gospel so I have enjoyed checking out Tim Challies' blog.  He is a blogger extraordinaire who live blogs the conference. At least this way I can get a glimpse of what’s going on. Tim describes the session in which RC Sproul spoke and he has this to say:

"Sproul discussed what it means that Jesus was cursed by God. Though Sproul has studied the subject for over fifty years, he still feels like he is barely scratching the surface of the meaning and significance of the cross of Christ.” 

When you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? The end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and it’s end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:20-23

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Strolling up and down the aisles of a local thrift store yesterday I remembered the gospel.  I know it was God’s grace to remind me.  I was thinking about what I had written on this blog that morning.  It was nothing magical – I simply remembered that my sins were all forgiven. As I remembered I looked around at the faces of those near me and I looked at the shelves of stuff piled everywhere and I saw the futility of it all. I marveled that I was privileged to know God’s forgiveness. I had a momentary glimpse of eternity when so much of what consumes my life will not even matter and realized that the most important thing had happened to me when God saved me through Jesus.  I realized that it was the best thing in the world, the thing that should fill me with joy more than anything else, and I wondered why I don’t feel that way more often.  It was as if everything around me for that moment faded and I saw the truth of what is truly important in this life.

At times I treat remembering the gospel like something I know I should do but don’t do enough. For a brief moment today I got a taste of the joy that is mine because of the gospel and it made me want to taste more of it. Isn’t that what God invites us to do? Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Ps. 34:8 Where can I see his goodness more clearly than by remembering what lengths he went to in order to save my soul? I take my refuge in Jesus.

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Let’s consider David. He was a man who was often pursued by enemies. Despite the dire circumstances he sometimes found himself in, his psalms are full of faith in God.  Even though he didn’t know the gospel because he lived before Jesus, he was expert at preaching truth to himself. He had experienced God’s steadfast love firsthand and he had confidence in God’s faithfulness. 

The other day I was reading Psalm 59 and something stood out to me. As I’ve been reading the psalms sometimes I can almost see the transformation from despair over the circumstances to trust in a Sovereign God take place. Psalm 59 is a prayer for deliverance from David’s enemies.  Here’s what I noticed.  In verse 9 David says in future tense: “O my strength I will watch for you, for you, O God are my fortress. My God in his steadfast love will meet me.”  Later in verse 16 he recounts what God has done for him past tense, “But I will sing of your strength; I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning. For you have been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.” Mixed in with these past and future tenses are phrases that are present tense such as “O God you are my fortress”.  Verse 17 again mingles future and present tense. “O my strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love.”

I love this example. Most likely there will not ever be the kind of physical enemies against me that David had. But there are enemies.  Ephesians 6 refers to flaming arrows of the evil one that will be fired on believers. Then of course the things of this world are always vying for our attention, our love, our worship.  Then there’s the sinful heart, which works itself out in deeds of the flesh. So, even though an evil king who wants to kill me is not pursuing me, I am in real danger if I am not on alert to my enemies. I’d say that on most days the biggest enemy is my own mind that gets consumed with other things.

Have we experienced God’s steadfast love? Even David didn’t know about God’s ultimate steadfast love – the crucifixion of Jesus – but those of us who have put our faith in Christ do know. We can recall the cross and the penalty that was paid for our sins, we can have hope in the future that because of the cross we will stand spotless before the throne of God, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, and we can know that today we are free to live a righteous life because we have been freed from the law of sin and death. This is THE GOOD NEWS!

Speaking of past, present and future, all our sins are forgiven. The sins of yesterday, the sins of today and the sins not yet committed tomorrow and beyond are removed as far as the east from west.

No matter what sin, temptation, or trial we face today, we stand covered by the blood of Jesus who has already met our deepest need past, present and future. Rejoice today in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same today, yesterday and forever.
 

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This morning at 6am I dropped off my husband at the airport.  He is on his way to Louisville, KY to the Together for the Gospel conference. It's a great conference that was started by four men, Christian leaders, all from different denominations, who are tied together by the gospel. They are making a statement that the gospel is the central and essential teaching of the Bible and though they hold to different other practices or doctrines they will hold firm to the gospel and will endeavor to promote it's message of first importance in their churches.

Just yesterday I was meeting with the ladies from our small group at church and we were talking about what we could do to keep the gospel central in our lives as we go about our day to day routines. One woman remarked that it can be difficult to keep a mind vertical when so much of life is lived horizontally. I think we've all experienced what it is to have a good quiet time and then get so consumed by the day's events that we barely give God a thought throughout the day. Or maybe for some, quiet time is a foreign thought and they are struggling to even get in to the word and spend time in prayer each day.

So, in light of this I'm going to try something new.  I will be doing a brief post each day this week with thoughts about the gospel and keeping it in the center of life. I will be preaching to myself the good news that Jesus has paid for all my sins. I've never blogged on a regular basis before, but I think this will be a good way to help myself remember what I too often forget.

If you are a regular reader (considering how irregular my posts are I'm not sure if I have any "regular" readers) or if you just found this blog randomly I hope you'll check back each day to be reminded of the best news any person could ever know.  What Jesus accomplished on the cross for us is greater than any struggle, any love, any joy, any sin, any possession, any need that any of us ever have had, currently have, or will have in the future. 

If you have any ideas for keeping your mind focused on the truth or any things that you have found helpful in your life in the fight to keep your mind on Christ please leave a comment.

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It’s been one of those weeks. Ever had one?  Nothing in particular is wrong but everything feels out of sorts. There’s more conflict than usual at home, you don’t seem to be clicking with the ones you love, and you feel apathetic and overwhelmed at the same time.  You know the right answers but your heart feels weary of fighting the daily fight over sin. You feel the sting of failure over so many things, in particular, homeschooling, homemaking, and parenting skills.  Basically you want to crawl under the covers and come out next week when everything is looking positive (hopefully).  That pretty much sums up my week. 

I’ve spent extra time in prayer this week but to be honest it didn't seem to help. I hadn’t felt God’s presence in the moment of need.  But then there were those times when I did sense his presence through his word.  Like when I read in Psalm 46 that God is my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble.  Did he see my email to my husband the day before bemoaning how I felt that I didn’t get much help from God in the moment of need?  Was he revealing to me the unbelief in my heart and the need to trust his truth over my feelings?  Of course!

So this morning as I began writing in my prayer journal, God completely redirected my thoughts, as he will often do.  What was about to begin as a complaint session became a God revealing truth session.

If you want to “listen” in here’s how it went.

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