When I began this blog, and even since then, I have wrestled with the question of why I should do this. Am I seeking some sort of glory from it? I have examined my motives many times and that’s probably not a bad thing.
I can’t even remember exactly what I was thinking on the day I chose the title and theme for this blog. It was born out of something God was doing in me. I enjoy reading other people’s blogs. I read some that are about being a godly woman, a wise manager of my home and resources, homeschooling, art, current events and trends, and some that recommend lots of good books. There have been a few times that I’ve chaffed under my own restriction. Can’t I just post a recipe this week? Does it always have to be the theme of how Jesus work on the cross affects real life and real emotions? Just because I write only about the cross doesn’t make me more spiritual than the person who gives cleaning tips. I’m thankful for those kinds of things. This morning I see a little more clearly why this blog is what it is.
In a previous post I confessed my Pride. It’s still alive and kicking and it’s rebelling a bit under the thought of writing yet another post about my own failures. That knowledge helped me see why this blog theme is so important for me. It is for my own humility. It is because I quickly forget the power of the cross. I easily make light of the gospel. I struggle to see how Jesus can help me when I feel waist deep in the mire of sin and the plain old difficulty of life. I rebel against the truth and would rather wallow in lies sometimes. Yesterday was one such day.
For the sake of brevity I will try to set the stage quickly. I often allow feelings of inferiority to creep into my mind. I fall prey to the sin of comparing myself to others. I know in my mind that this is yet another form or pride. It’s a desire to be superior or at least equal. It’s letting others define my worth rather than God. So, take a week of little replays in my mind of interactions with others and a voice in my head summing things up as, “yup, you’re and idiot.”
Add to that a couple heaping tablespoons of anxiousness. In particular dread of how I am ruining my children’s lives and education. (Thoughts in complete opposition to what God has been teaching me in this area.)
Stir these together and throw in a pinch of conflict. An assignment not completed by a child becomes and attack on my authority. An expression in their face is perceived as rebellion.
If you take those things together you’ll end up with a mom sobbing in her prayer closet as she stews and despairs. Suddenly my nose became a faucet and I seemed unable to break out of the self-pity and feelings of helplessness. The result is one defeated servant of Christ. (Hey, I guess I did get to share a recipe after all.) After almost an hour of sniveling and about 20 minutes with my husband on the phone I emerged from my closet, blew my nose a few more times and went upstairs to make lunch.
What happened exactly? I don’t know. My husband said several helpful things but the one that stands out is this: “There is no victory apart from Christ.” He even repeated it, “there is absolutely no victory at all except in Christ.” Somehow God granted me the mustard seed of faith to trust that truth and trust that I would understand it at some point. That the truths I knew about Christ’s payment for my sin would somehow also translate into victory over that sin in my life.
This morning I had three more reminders on that subject.
- From Sunday’s sermon notes: “The devil’s only source of power, his only legitimate accusation of us before God is our sin – Jesus paid for this.”
- From the Word implanted in my heart: “My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.” Eph 2:
- From the Valley of Vision prayer entitled Christ the Word: "But thou hast given me a present, Jesus thy son, as mediator between thyself and my soul, as middle-man who in a pit holds both him below and him above, for only he can span the chasm breached by sin, and satisfy divine justice." (That was a great picture to me because I felt like I had been in a pit.) “If I oppose the Word I oppose my Lord when he is most near…so shall Christ the Word and his Word be my strength and comfort.”
I know the recipe for victory I just ignore it too often. I want to create a new recipe that will be easier or use different ingredients. God takes great pains to show me that only his recipe works.
- God takes one sinner.
- Gives them faith in the work of his son on the cross.
- Bakes them through trials.
- And yields his perfect work.
There’s no way around the baking part but Jesus never leaves us no matter how hot the oven gets.
Comments
Feb. 12, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Sometimes when we reflect back on our lives, we love Him for the "baking" He did . . . .because in looking back we can see the good that came out of it, and how it also gives us hope for future "bakings". Great post, Joy!
"For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things."
Chris
Feb. 17, 2008 - Us, too.
Posted by baronsgirl
We were just having this conversation last night on a long drive home from a concert. How cunning the evil one is and we ( I ) so easily get distracted from the Truths that matter! How we even have conversations about trying harder, being more mindful of the struggles, etc.... And your husband (I miss that guy, too!) had the right words - there is NO victory apart from Christ! There is NOTHING we can do on our own to change our circumstances, our struggles, our hearts.
And...if we trust a Sovereign God (which we do, don't we?!), then we know that the fire, the trials, the purification and refining are SUPPOSED to be a part of our lives. Can you imagine the condition of our hearts if we had no trials? Man, if I think I'm prideful now (and I am!), imagine then...thinking I was making it through life pretty well on my own. Glorifying self, etc. I'm at a place in my life when I'm rarely TRULY thankful for the baking part of the recipe. I pray, by His grace, that He would enable me to get to that place again. Where I have a deeply rooted sense of joy and hope as I endure the refining fire, KNOWING that He is working for my good and His glory!
The Gospel was preached to us again last night. And I was reminded again of how I need to preach it to myself everyday. To imagine that the very God who SPOKE the world into being...is the very same God who loves me enough to bring just the right ingredients for the recipe He's making in my life. He loves, extends grace, molds and shapes us... He could just leave us as a useless lump of clay on the floor! Some rotting batch of dough left in the back of the fridge. But instead He graciously measures out the ingredients, places us in the oven and removes us when the timing is right. Until next time.
It seems like every time I comment here, I'm saying thank you, but I just need to! Thanks for your continued willingness to let me learn from what the Lord is teaching you. He is using you to teach me! And, therefore, my kids. You are an ingredient in my recipe!!! :-)
I apologize...this is a place to leave a COMMENT, right? Not actually my own separate post? ;-) It's hard for me to not "think out loud" as I respond to your wisdom each time I'm here. Hope you don't mind my rambling!!!
Hugs to both of you...Jodie
Feb. 17, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Joyous
Jodie,
For the record I love your comments. They always add to what I am trying to convey in my posts. I love how you so enthusiastically agree and give praise to God. I love getting to know more about you as you reveal more things going on in your life. It's so good to read about how God is growing you and your family. So thanks for your comments. They are very welcome.
Love,
Joy