It’s been one of those weeks. Ever had one? Nothing in particular is wrong but everything feels out of sorts. There’s more conflict than usual at home, you don’t seem to be clicking with the ones you love, and you feel apathetic and overwhelmed at the same time. You know the right answers but your heart feels weary of fighting the daily fight over sin. You feel the sting of failure over so many things, in particular, homeschooling, homemaking, and parenting skills. Basically you want to crawl under the covers and come out next week when everything is looking positive (hopefully). That pretty much sums up my week.
I’ve spent extra time in prayer this week but to be honest it didn't seem to help. I hadn’t felt God’s presence in the moment of need. But then there were those times when I did sense his presence through his word. Like when I read in Psalm 46 that God is my refuge and strength a very present help in trouble. Did he see my email to my husband the day before bemoaning how I felt that I didn’t get much help from God in the moment of need? Was he revealing to me the unbelief in my heart and the need to trust his truth over my feelings? Of course!
So this morning as I began writing in my prayer journal, God completely redirected my thoughts, as he will often do. What was about to begin as a complaint session became a God revealing truth session.
If you want to “listen” in here’s how it went.
Lord, as you know it hasn’t been a very victorious week – or has it? I’ve been reminded again that you are my source of help and that you are all powerful. I’ve been reminded of my great sinfulness and need for a savior to forgive those sins. I’ve been reminded of my great powerlessness and my need for your power to work through my weakness. I’ve been reminded that all people – even those I love – are in this same fight with sin and that my hope lies not in them doing everything right but in you – who make all things right by the blood of your son.
I want to have victory in triumphant feelings of everything going well, not in the crushing of my pride and unbelief, but you were pleased to crush your son and it was the greatest victory ever won.
Help me to see my life through your eyes and to embrace your methods for my sanctification. Let my eyes be on the victorious savior who lived through affliction and learned from it and now stands ready to be my greatest help.
Hopefully someday I'll finally get it that God works most in the rough times. Then perhaps I will learn to rejoice in all things. This week I guess I'll have to be happy with rejoicing in hindsight, but there's always next week....
Comments
Mar. 28, 2008 - Victory in Disguise
Posted by Anonymous
I am having one of those weeks myself - actually its been the year so far!!
In Psalm 42:7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me. (KJV) David describes one affliction (be it emotional or physical) as a violent rain storm with successive showers one after another, and in verse 8 Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.
I really do miss His presence in my life on a tangible level, but the comfort he gives (Psalm 23 Thy Rod and thy staff they comfort me) sustains me in a dry and arrid time.
Let us be thankful that He never sleeps or slumbers yet watches over us with ever loving kindness.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts - it has brought comfort to me.
Louise. (a not-yet competant blogger!)
Apr. 12, 2008 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
see Feb. 4th for my comment! oops
Apr. 13, 2008 - Thanks for your patience
Posted by Joyous
To Anonymous,
Thanks for your comments on Feb. 4th. I never actually know who reads this blog because I don't have any kind of counter or tracking system. In my mind it's about 3 friends and maybe a few more family members. I really would like to post more often but it's been my pattern in the past to only post when I really feel like I have something to say and/or have the time to get it written. Just to let you know, I am working on something, I just haven't had the time to make sure it's all correct and get it posted. Hopefully tonight or tomorrow morning that will happen. Thanks for checking back even when it doesn't change very often. It's encouraging to know that my posts are helpful to someone.
Joy