If I shouldn’t follow my heart then what do I do when I feel the desires of my heart entice me and lure me away into sin as James chapter 1 says?
God makes a point through Jeremiah that our hearts continually lead us into idolatry. My seemingly innocent desires can deceive me and lead me to worship something else. I see it happen in my own life on any given day.
My desire for a peaceful and smooth day is often mocked by life. Inevitably there is a conflict or something that will happen to overthrow my plans. In those moments if I follow my heart I go down the road of self-pity and if I stay on that road I might get lost among the roads of doubt, despair, unbelief, and even rebellion. At that point I am bowing down and worshipping myself.
But what if I went down a different road? What if in the middle of a hard conflict I stopped thinking about how it affects me and instead began to preach truth to myself? What if I remembered that God sovereignly allows each thing to come my way for His good purposes? What if I bowed down and submitted myself to Him rather than acting as if He was somehow uninvolved or uncaring? What if I saw the situation in light of God’s redemptive purposes? I have a pretty good idea that the outcome in my heart would be different.
But here’s the rub – in the moment of difficulty I can’t do any of that in my own strength. Not following my heart is the most unnatural thing for my flesh to do. My heart is deceitful therefore I must learn to have a healthy distrust of it. Even my best efforts are tainted with sinful desires. My heart wants a formula to follow that will get me back on track to a smooth and peaceful life quicker. If I just _______ (you name it) then everything will magically turn to joy.
My hope cannot be in victory over struggle. My hope cannot be in my ability to do the right thing. My hope is found in nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
Thomas Wilcox says this in Honey Out of the Rock:
Look more at justification than sanctification. In the highest commands consider Christ, not as an exacter to require, but a debtor, committed to work according to His promise. If you have looked at word, duties and qualifications, more than at the merits of Christ, it will cost you dear. No wonder you go about complaining; graces may be evidences, the merits of Christ alone must be the foundation of your hope to stand on. Christ only can be the hope of glory (Col 1:27).
When we come to God, we must bring nothing but Christ with us. Any ingredients, or any previous qualifications of our own, will poison and corrupt faith. He that builds upon duties, graces, etc., knows not the merits of Christ. This makes believing so hard, so far above nature. If you believe, you must every day renounce, as dung and dross (Phil 3:7,8), your privileges, your obedience, your baptism, your sanctification, your duties, your graces, your tears, your meltings, your humblings, and nothing but Christ must be held up. Every day your workings and your self-sufficiency must be destroyed. You must take all out of God’s hand. Christ is the gift of God (John 4:10). Faith is the gift of God (Eph 2:8). Pardon is a free gift (Isa 45:22). Ah, how nature storms, frets, rages at this, that all is of gift and it can purchase nothing with its acting and tears and duties, that all workings are excluded, and of no value in heaven.
It’s only after I’ve come to God through Jesus by remembering his finished work that I can find the true strength I need to persevere and do what I should rather than what my heart feels like.
Just this morning after I wrote this post I was challenged on this very point. My heart, idolizing perfection, told me again that I was a failure as a parent because my children were struggling with sin. All of my wimpy responses of, "this is too hard," and "I'm too weak," were wrong and yet right at the same time. Yes, it is too hard for me and I am too weak in myself but by God's grace I was able to trust God really has made me right by Jesus alone, not by my parenting skills and that I do have the power through Christ to do what is right. When I was confronted by my daughter that I was too proud to listen to her, my initial indignation and hurt had to turn to acknowledgment that she was right. I am proud and it is a fight to respond to situations with humility and not defend myself. I can admit it on a public blog but to admit it to my daughter was very tough.
We are all struggling with essentially the same things and the outcome of the conflict this morning I hope was getting closer to an agreement that we are both in this fight against sin. We are on the same side and both of us have to fight against the temptation to follow our heart which is really only another way of saying that we want to do what feels right at the moment.
Oh yes, the heart is deceitful above all things. Thank God for his complete acceptance and for his word that sheds light on our days!