In my last post I made this statement: There is no mistaking it, as one who belongs to Christ, I will be tamed little by little throughout my life, the question is how difficult will I make the process? Will I fight against it and make it more difficult on myself or will I gladly bow, submit, and humble myself before my Sovereign Lord?
The week following was a case in point example of how miserable resisting makes me. I often feel inspired by biblical truth, have good desires, pray for the Holy Spirit to work in me, and then fall flat on my face at the first sign of hardship. The natural result of such episodes should be humility, and sometimes it is, but more often than not pride rears its ugly headfirst. It goes something like this:
I feel angry over the situation/conflict etc. – I am not seeing the problem as a means of sanctifying grace.
I hold a grudge against whoever interrupted my perfect universe – I am setting myself up to be a god.
I wallow in discouragement or self-pity over my failure to respond properly – God may remember that I am dust but I surely don’t. I believe that I should be perfect which, God forbid, is a way of saying I don’t need Christ.
I may turn my anger upwards and get irritated with God for what seems like His lack of help – this is ultimate pride, saying that I could do a better job than God himself.
My problem is that my pride is seriously misplaced. It is consumed with thoughts about myself. I become the center of the world and God is pushed into a place of impotence in my mind. It seems shocking even as I write it but that is what I am declaring by my thoughts, words, and actions when I let this response of a lack of humility reign in me. God reigns over everything: rulers, nations, all creation, and the hearts of all people, it should be easy to be humble in light of the magnitude of who He is. My pride should rest on Him. I am so thankful that God deals with me according to grace through our Lord Jesus Christ. May it never be that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. God does all things for His glory, He never tires of working to make us like His Son. All praise belongs to Him.
Comments
May. 5, 2009 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Char
Wow Joy. These are very thought provoking words. I hope you don't mind that I am copying a portion of this....I want to put it up some place to remind myself of these profound truths. (Don't worry...I won't publish them under my name or anything)
May. 8, 2009 - Thanks for the encouragement
Posted by Joyous
Thanks Char for the comment. I keep telling myself that it's good for me to write on the blog even if no one ever reads it but it is always encouraging to have someone say that something was helpful to them.
Joy
May. 11, 2009 - I am always blessed...
Posted by baronsgirl
...by your words! Even though I haven't commented much lately, I still check your blog all the time, and am humbled, encouraged, challenged, exhorted.... The Lord uses you here and I'm so thankful for you! Pride...oh, how I wrestle with it in so many more ways than I even realize. Ugly, true. Thank God He never gives up on us!
Miss you, my dear sister and friend.