This week is National Awareness Week for Invisible Illness.   I used to scoff at these weeks because they seemed to have such obscure issues attached to them.  It comes with the whole thing about labelling.  We always seem to have a need to slap a label on something to make us feel better about it and ourselves.  Invisible Illnesses?  What is up with that anyway?

      Invisible Illnesses apply to those people who, when you look at them,  they look physically well.  They have all of their body parts. They are not losing weight.  They look just fine on the outside.  But inside, their body is full of pain.  They are having problems getting through the day due to the pain and discomfort that their illness has thrown their way.  Due to their outside appearance,  people with invisible illnesses are not taken seriously.  They are accused of lying, especially when the doctors cannot find anything wrong with them--all of the tests come back positive. 

      I find it interesting that this week is deemed to be the week to try make people aware of the reality and seriousness of invisible illnesses.  If I had read this three months ago,  I would have scoffed with the rest of you.  Things are different now.

      Do you remember in May when I had an infected bump on my head?  The infection was pretty serious.  They pulled a honkin'  big ball of pus out of my head.  I was on anitbiotics for a very long time trying to get rid of the infection.  I haven't been feeling well, though, since that incident.  I have been to the doctor twice since then.  I have had blood taken twice but everything came back normal.   But I knew  deep down that everything was not normal.   Something was very wrong with me.  I had no energy to get anything done.  As time went on,  my body began to ache.  Don't let that little word fool you.  Ache is another pc word for 'hurts like the dickens."   I knew there was something wrong but I didn't know what.

      I decided to do some investigating on my own.  My symptoms were similar to that of Mono and Fibromyalgia.  So I started there.   The internet is a wondrful thing, isn't it?  The age of information.  Anyway,  I found information on the web that crossed out Mono.   Even though I had most of the symptoms of Fibromyalgia,  it just didn't seem to be what I had.  There were some pieces that  didn't fit.  On the web page of Fibromyalgia I read that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is sometimes confused with Fibromyalgia.   I had heard of CFS  but didn't really know what it was all about.   With a mighty click of my mouse,  the lightbulb flashed on.

      As I was reading the symptoms,  the little voice inside of me was screaming,  "YES!  YES!"  I believe that I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.   I have all of the symptoms (sore throat, headaches,  fever,  aching joints,  insomnia (due to the joint pain,)  mental fogginess (now, many would say that I have always been foggy mentally but it has increased in past months.  I know.  That is scary) and  immense  fatigue.)  I also have two of the causes.  They say that CFS can be started by a severe infection (infected bump on head)  and extended use of antibiotics (5 weeks.)  

      Now, this is not an official diagnosis, of course.  I don't even know if that is the wisest thing to do.  You need to have these symptoms for 6 months before the dr.s  will give you an official diagnosis.  Even then,  there isn't really anything that they can do for you.  I'm not too sure that I want them to do anything for me anyway.  I would like to deal with this on my own, in my own way.   I am trying to alleviate the symptoms by better lifestyle choices.  I am limiting  our extra-curricular activities.  I am trying to exclude sugar and refined flour from my diet.  Drink more water.  Ugh!   Also, pacing myself  is important, too.   I am finding that when I am having a good day  I try to push as much into that day as I can.  I pay if for the next day as the pain seeps back into my shoulders, neck or lower back.  I have to work harder on that pacing.

     I feel so much better knowing that there is, indeed, a name to slap on this invisible face.  I know, though,  that there will be many people around me who won't believe me.  You know what?  I don't care.  I know deep down that this is my problem.  I have to start trusting that little voice inside of me, instead of believing what others (who don't really know as much as they think they do) say.   

     Even though I go through my days hurting and tired,  I am so happy that I am not losing my mind and that there is a name to go along with my symptoms.   In this case,  labels are a good thing. 

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