I had everything planned out for this week. I wanted to start getting back into the saddle of our learning time. I was hoping to get into more of a routine this week. i knew that Mon. (Rocky's orthodontist appt.) and Wed. (my appt at the cancer clinic) would be a write off but I had high hopes for the other three days. We are going to be staying home for thoese days so I had plans of getting to some of the subjects that we hadn't had much interaction with as of late (like grammar and writing.) I have been reminded, though, that my plans are not of God's.
It all started with the kids asking to go outside to play. It had rained most of the night and then had changed to snow when the kids woke up. I didn't want to say no because when the cold weather hits the kids aren't outside much. I want to take advantage of 'good' weather while I can. They went out at 8:30 and I knew they would be out for an hour or so but, no worries, we would start with our learning time whenever they came in.
Then at 9:30 I received a phone call from the cancer clinic. The day went downhill from there. How do I explain this phone call? I have ambivalent feelings about it. The good side of the phone call is that the woman told me everything that would be happening tomorrow on my visit to the clinic. I was very appreciative of that as I didn't have a clue as to what to expect. She also told me that the clinic would follow me for a pre-determined amount of time with check-ups, etc. to make sure that the cancer does not come back. They will then remind my family dr. to do yearly check-ups afterwards just as a precaution. I am very thankful for this. This gives me peace of mind.
The clinic lady then proceeded to tell me what would happen if I needed further treatment. This is where I got lost. Lost in emotion. I have been telling myself that I won't need treatment, that this is just a formality. Yes, that still might be true, but this woman's words made treatment a reality. Her words are making me think of what we will do if I do, indeed, have to have treatment. I don't want to think about that. I want to stay in my little cocoon of denial. My little cocoon in which tomorrow afternoon will be the end of our cancer experience.
The clinic lady told me that if I do indeed have to have treatment, it will be radiation. The treatment will take place at the clinic which is 3 hours away. I will have to have radiation 5 days a week. The dr. will determine how many weeks I will need. (I would think it wouldn't be for too many weeks but, as I am learning throughout all of this, What do I know about cancer?) This means that I will have to stay in Regina during the week and then come home on the weekends. This also means more upheaval. sigh
Again, I know that I will probably not need all of this (maybe if I say this over and over it will come true.) but those words dug me out of my denial and is making me think of the possbilities. Those possibilities put a halt on any plans that I had for the day.
After talking to that very nice lady, who had no idea that she just ruined my day, I had no desire to do school. Yet again, a change in plans. Thankfully, though, I didn't follow my inclination to go back to bed and bury myself under the covers. I decided to do some math fun with the kids. At least they got some learning in (those words are going around my brain as well.)
I found some neat ideas for math activities from the MathWire site. I really like this site. There are oodles of ideas for teaching math to your kids. The site is directed towards public school but the activitties are do-able for homeschooling as well. They have a number of seasonal ideas to keep math fun for the younger ones. Today we played a pumpkin game where you rolled a dice to see which shape you had to put on the face of a pumpkin. They also had a tally sheet where you could keep track of the frequency of dice rolls you had before you completed the face.
We also played a Pumpkin Farm game. Each child had a grid with number coordinates on the side and letter coordinates along the bottom. The child puts 12 pumpkins on the squares of their choice. Somebody yells out a coordinate and if the pumpkin is on that square then they get a point. My kids loved this game. It helps teach them graphing as well as score keeping. These games were mostly for Missy's benefit but the two older ones had fun right along with her.
We, then, played a fraction game for Rocky. We had made strips of paper and cut them in various fractions--1/2, 1/4, 1/8. We used RightStart fraction cards to draw which fraction we would use to fill up a strip of paper that was a whole. So if I had drawn a card that said a 1/2 on it. I would put my 1/2 strip over the whole strip. I would then need some version of a half (another 1/2, 2 1/4s, 4 1/8s) to win the game. This helps Rocky see what the various combinations are for a whole.
After our game playing we then read a chapter of Winnie the Pooh. I think everyone dealing with cancer should read Winnie the Pooh. The Bear of Very LIttle Brain is just so comforting to read during such a time as this.
I had plans to watch a video on Comets with the kids and then move on to Little Women, but I just didn't have the gusto to do even that. So they played for the rest of the afternoon and I did nothing. That was comforting, too, in its strange little way.
Comments
1. I'll pray for you. I won't say that I know how you're feeling because I couldn't possibly, but it sounds like you're dealing with this as well as anyone could possibly expect. Even though I'm sure you've got lots of people on their knees, I felt moved to add myself to the list.
2. Reading, math, PE You got quite a bit done today! Please try to cut yourself some slack. (I know, easier said than done.)
God has you in His hands. He won't drop you.
Jennifer
