I had everything planned  out for this week.  I wanted to start getting back into the saddle   of our learning time.   I was hoping to get  into more of a routine  this week.  i knew that Mon. (Rocky's  orthodontist appt.) and Wed. (my appt at the cancer clinic)  would be a write off  but I had high hopes for the other three days.   We are going to be staying home for thoese days  so I had plans  of  getting to some of the subjects that we hadn't had much interaction with as of late (like grammar and writing.)  I have been reminded, though,  that  my plans are not of God's. 

     It all started  with the kids asking  to go outside to play.   It had rained most of the night  and then had changed to snow  when the kids woke up.   I didn't want to say no  because  when the cold weather hits the kids  aren't outside  much.  I want to take advantage of  'good'  weather  while I can.   They went out at 8:30  and I knew they would be out for an hour or so  but,  no worries,  we would start with our learning time whenever they came in.

     Then at 9:30  I received  a phone call from the cancer clinic.  The day went downhill from there.  How do I explain this  phone call?   I have ambivalent feelings about it.   The good side of the phone call is that the woman  told me  everything that would be happening tomorrow on my visit to the clinic.  I was very appreciative of that  as I didn't have a clue as to what to expect.    She also told me  that  the clinic  would  follow me for a pre-determined amount of time  with check-ups, etc.  to make sure  that the cancer does not come back.  They will then  remind  my family dr.  to do yearly check-ups  afterwards  just as a precaution.  I am very thankful for this.   This gives me peace of mind.

     The clinic lady  then  proceeded to tell me what would happen if I needed further treatment.  This is where I got lost.   Lost in emotion.   I have been telling myself  that  I won't need  treatment,  that this is just a formality.   Yes,  that still might be true, but  this woman's  words  made  treatment  a reality.  Her words are making me think  of what we will do if I do, indeed, have to have treatment.  I don't want to think about that.   I want to stay in my little cocoon of denial.  My little cocoon  in which tomorrow afternoon  will be the end of our cancer experience. 

     The clinic lady told me that if I do indeed have to have treatment,  it will be  radiation.  The treatment will take place at the clinic which is 3 hours away.   I will have to have radiation 5 days a week.  The dr. will determine how many weeks I will need.  (I would think it wouldn't be for too many weeks  but, as I am learning throughout  all of this,   What do I know  about cancer?)  This means  that  I will have to stay in Regina  during the week  and then come home on the weekends.   This also means  more upheaval.   sigh     

     Again,  I know  that I will probably  not need  all of this (maybe if I say this over and over  it will come true.)  but  those words  dug me out of my denial  and  is making me think of the possbilities.   Those possibilities  put a halt on any plans  that I had for the day.

     After talking to that very nice lady,  who had no idea that she just ruined my day,  I had no desire  to do school.   Yet again,  a change in plans.    Thankfully, though,  I didn't follow  my inclination to  go back to bed and bury myself  under the covers.  I decided to do some math fun with the kids.   At least they got some learning in  (those words  are going around my brain as well.)

     I  found some neat  ideas  for math activities  from  the MathWire site.  I really like this  site.  There are oodles of ideas  for teaching math to your kids.   The site is  directed towards public school but the  activitties are do-able  for  homeschooling as well.   They have  a number of seasonal ideas  to keep math  fun  for the younger ones.   Today we played a pumpkin game  where you rolled a dice to see which  shape  you had to put  on the face of a pumpkin.   They also had a tally sheet  where you could keep track of the frequency  of dice rolls  you had before you completed  the face.

     We also played  a Pumpkin Farm  game.   Each child had a grid  with number coordinates on the side and letter coordinates along the bottom.  The child  puts  12 pumpkins  on the squares of their choice.  Somebody yells out a coordinate  and  if the pumpkin is on that square then they get a point.   My kids  loved this game.   It helps  teach them graphing  as well as score keeping.   These games were mostly for Missy's benefit but the two older ones  had fun  right along with her.

     We, then,  played a fraction game  for Rocky.   We had made strips of paper  and cut them in various fractions--1/2,  1/4,  1/8.    We used  RightStart  fraction cards  to  draw which fraction we would use to fill up  a strip of paper  that was a whole.   So if I had drawn  a card that said a 1/2 on it.  I would put my 1/2 strip  over the whole strip.  I would then  need some version of a half (another 1/2, 2 1/4s,  4 1/8s)  to win the game.   This  helps Rocky see  what the various  combinations are for a whole.  

     After our game playing  we then read a chapter  of Winnie the Pooh.   I think everyone dealing with cancer  should read Winnie the Pooh.   The Bear of Very LIttle Brain  is just so comforting to read during such a time as this.

     I had plans to watch a video  on Comets with the kids and then move on to Little Women, but  I just didn't have the gusto  to do even that.   So they played for  the rest of the afternoon  and I did nothing.    That was comforting, too,  in its strange little way.

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