We are doing the  happy dance  here today.  

      We went to the cancer clinic yesterday.  The verdict is that I do not have to any further treatment.   Wahoo!  (Where is the dancing  smiley man when you need him?)   We are exremely relieved here on the Prairie.  

      My form of cancer is extremely rare  and it has a high recurrance rate  so I will need to have a check-up every 3 months with my dr.  for a little while.  I also need to be very diligent in checking my body for suspicious markings and lumps.   

      I am battling ambivalent feelings today.   I am so happy about the prognosis.  I am praising God for His mercy and grace to our family.   God is, indeed,  good.  He has  carried us through this.  In amongst the happy feelings, though,  are feelings of weariness  and sadness.    We have been through  a rollercoaster of emotions  the past 3 months. This week is a perfect example.  I was told on Tues.  that I might have to leave my children for a week at a time  for 6 weeks if I needed radiation. I knew that this would be extremely hard on my kids, especially after the last few weeks.   I tried to prepare myself  for this  possiblity.  Then the next day  we are told  "Oh,  everything is fine now,  It's all over."  Oh, the ups and downs of it all.    Even though  we have good news,  you can't just shut those emotions off.   They are still rampant.   I feel battered and bruised  right now.  I know that in time  these feelings will recede.   I just have to give it time.    

       The kids need this time as well.   Time to heal.   Time to just be with mom,  to just be.    That sounds so good right now. 

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Posted by mamatigerj