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Monday, August 6, 2007 - COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on "START"...........

--Author Unknown

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Sunday, August 5, 2007 - When I Survey The Wondrous Cross

[Added by the compilers of Hymns An­cient and Mo­dern]

To Christ, who won for sinners grace
By bitter grief and anguish sore,
Be praise from all the ransomed race
Forever and forevermore.

Words: Isaac Watts, Hymns and Spir­it­u­al Songs, 1707.

Charles Wes­ley re­port­ed­ly said he would give up all his other hymns to have writ­ten this one.

From http://www.cyberhymnal.org/bio/w/a/t/watts_i.htm

Isaac Watts

Born: Ju­ly 17, 1674, South­amp­ton, Eng­land.

Died: No­vem­ber 25, 1748, Stoke New­ing­ton, Eng­land.

Buried: Bun­hill Fields Cem­etery, Lon­don, Eng­land.

Watts’ fa­ther was Non­con­form­ist im­pris­oned twice for his re­li­gious views. Isaac learned Greek, Latin, and He­brew un­der Mr. Pin­horn, Rec­tor of All Saints, and head­mas­ter of the Gram­mar School in South­amp­ton. Isaac’s taste for verse showed it­self in ear­ly child­hood, and his prom­ise caused a lo­cal doc­tor and other friends to of­fer him a un­i­ver­si­ty ed­u­ca­tion, as­sum­ing he would be or­dained in the Church of Eng­land. How­ev­er, Isaac de­clined and in­stead en­tered a Non­con­for­mist Acad­e­my at Stoke New­ing­ton in 1690, un­der the care of Thom­as Rowe, pas­tor of the In­de­pen­dent cong­re­ga­tion at Gir­dlers’ Hall; Isaac joined this con­gre­ga­tion in 1693.

Watts left the Acad­e­my at age 20 and spent two years at home; it was dur­ing this per­i­od that he wrote the bulk of his Hymns and Spir­it­u­al Songs. They were sung from man­uscripts in the South­amp­ton Cha­pel, and pub­lished 1707-1709.

The next six years of his life were again spent at Stoke New­ing­ton, work­ing as tu­tor to the son of em­i­nent Pur­i­tan John Har­topp. The in­tense stu­dy of these years is re­flect­ed in the the­o­log­ic­al and phil­o­soph­ic­al ma­ter­i­al he sub­se­quent­ly pub­lished.

Watts preached his first ser­mon at age 24. In the next three years, he preached fre­quent­ly, and in 1702 was or­dained as pas­tor of the In­de­pen­dent con­gre­ga­tion in Mark Lane. At that time he moved in­to the house of a Mr. Hollis in the Mi­nor­ies. His health be­gan to fail the next year, and Sam­u­el Price was ap­point­ed as his as­sist­ant in the min­is­try. In 1712, a fe­ver shat­tered his con­sti­tu­tion, and Price be­came co-pas­tor of the con­gre­ga­tion, which had moved to a new cha­pel in Bu­ry Street. It was at this time that Isaac be­came the guest of Sir Thom­as Ab­ney. He lived with Ab­ney (and lat­er Abney’s wi­dow) the rest of his life, main­ly at The­o­balds in Hert­ford­shire, then for 13 years at Stoke New­ing­ton.

In 1728, the Un­i­ver­si­ty of Ed­in­burgh award­ed Watts a Doc­tor of Di­vin­i­ty de­gree. Watts’ works in­clude:

• Specula­tions on the Hu­man Na­ture of the Lo­gos
• Horæ Lyr­i­cae, 1706-1709
• Hymns and Spir­it­u­al Songs, 1707-9
• The Di­vine and Mor­al Songs for the Use of Child­ren, 1715
• The Psalms of Da­vid Im­i­tat­ed in the Lan­guage of the New Tes­ta­ment (Lon­don: J. Clark, 1719)
• Sermons, 1721-1727
• Reliquiae Ju­ve­niles: Mis­cel­lan­e­ous Thoughts in Prose and Verse, on Na­tur­al, Mor­al, and Di­vine Sub­jects (Lon­don: 1734)
• Remnants of Time (Lon­don: 1736)
• The Im­prove­ment of the Mind, 1741
• Logic
• The World to Come, 1745
• Catechisms, Scrip­ture His­to­ry, 1732

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Saturday, August 4, 2007 - Serious boundaries...

I dialed a number the other day and got the following recording:

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Sunday, July 29, 2007 - Dick and Ricky Hoyt...the amazing love of a father...

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Sunday, July 29, 2007 - Kid Nation...40 kids, 40 days, no parents....hmmmmm...

A new show premiering in September from CBS....

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/kid_nation/


40 children, 40 days, no adults—eager to prove they can build a better world for tomorrow in the new reality series KID NATION. Settling in Bonanza City, New Mexico, once a thriving mining town but now deserted, these kids, ages 8 to 15 and from all walks of life, will build their own new world, pioneer-style. They will confront grown-up issues while coping with the classic childhood emotions of homesickness, peer pressure and the urge to break every rule. Episodes end with a town meeting in which the kids award one child a gold star worth $20,000, all leading to the grand finale, with an unimaginable test, the biggest awards and a special surprise for every child.

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This will certainly be interesting to say the least....wonder if they'll actually make a school?  Ha ha!

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Saturday, July 28, 2007 - Meanings of phrases that we say...

You might want to verify some of these sayings here: http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/index.html
but some of these I had no idea about.....I feel educated today :)

In George Washington's days, there were no cameras.  One's image was either sculpted or painted.  Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms.  Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted.  Arms and legs are "limbs," therefore painting them would cost the buyer more.  Hence the expression, "Okay, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year May and October)!  Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs.  Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool.  They couldn't wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes.  The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term "big wig."  Today we often use the term "here comes the Big Wig" because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.

In the late 1700's, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair.  Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining.  The "head of the household" always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor.  Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal.  To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge.  They called the one sitting in the chair the "chair man."  Today in business, we use the expression title "Chairman" or "Chairman of the Board."

Personal hygiene left much room for improvement.  As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood.  The women would spread bee's wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions.  When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman's face she was told, "mind your own bee's wax."  Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term "crack a smile."  In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt therefore, the expression "losing face."

Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front.  A proper and dignified woman, as in "straight laced" . . . wore a tightly tied lace. 

Common entertainment included playing cards.  However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the "Ace of Spades."  To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead.  Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren't "playing with a full deck."

Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important.  Since there were no telephones, TV's or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars.  They were told to "go sip some ale" and listen to people's conversations and political concerns.  Many assistants were dispatched at different times.  "You go sip here" and "You go sip there."  The two words "go sip" were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term "gossip."

At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers.  A bar maid's job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming.  She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in "pints" and who was drinking in "quarts," hence the term "minding your  "P's and Q's."

One more:  Bet you didn't know this!

In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons.  Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls.  It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon.  However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck?  The best storage method devised was a square based pyramid with one ball on  top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen.  Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon.  There was only one problem . . . how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others.  The solution was a metal plate called a "Monkey" with 16 round indentations.  However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it.  The solution to the rusting problem was to make "Brass Monkeys.

Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled.  Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey.  Thus, it was quite literally, "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey."  (All this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn't you.)

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