Fading In This Black And White World </3

Jul. 20, 2008 - Without You Im Without

Have u, Would u, Could u??

Have you ever.....

had a broken heart?: YES!!
had a tooth pulled?: NO
lost touch with a good friend for a long time?:Yea
played Duck Hunt?: WHAT IS IT?
read a Babysitter's Club Book?: YES AND BOREING
watched the movie "Fried Green Tomatoes"?:NO AND NEVER
tried to pierce a body part yourself?:NO
owned a record?:NO
been on a diet...that worked?:NO
been on an airplane?: NO
kissed someone you didn't really want to kiss: NO
wished you were someone else?:OHH YEA
been pressured to do something you didn't want to do?: YEA
got in a car with a stranger?: NO

Would you ever...

carry a gun with you at all times?:NOT ALL TIMES
take a bullet for a friend?:DEPENDS WHICH 1
go hiking?:YEA
spend the night in a haunted place...alone?: NOT ALONE
get a psychic reading?:NOPE AND NEVER
date someone 30 years older than you?:NO THATS NASTY
date someone of the same sex?: NO!! GROSS...BEYOND MEASURE
vote for a woman president?: WELL IT DEPENDS
skydive?: YEA
eat dog?:NO
go a week without bathing?: NO NEVER
wear the same outfit for an entire month?: NO
be on "Survivor" if you had the chance?: YEA...SEEMS LIKE FUN...LOLZ
date your friends ex?:PROB NOT

Could you.....(if you HAD to)

tell someone they had a deadly disease if you were the only one who knew?:YEA
take care of a handicapped elderly person that wasn't related to you?:IDK MAYBE
donate an organ to save a friend's life?: WELL DUHH
shave your head to make a Cancer patient feel comfortable?:DEPENDS WHO IT IS
give your child up for adoption?:NEVER
kill an animal and then eat it?: YEA HUNTING
trust someone you just met to watch your child?: NO WAY
move 1,000 miles away from your family?: OHH YEA
never talk to your best friend again for the rest of your life?:NO
eat poop to survive? NO THAT IS NASTY EWWWW
be homeless?: NO
cut off a body part to save yourself?:NO WAY I WOULD JUST DIE
shoot a person that broke into your house?: WELL YEA
take your own life to save someone else's?: WELL IF I OWED THEM I WOULD

♥ me....

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Jul. 16, 2008 - IM A SIMPLE GIRL IN THIS COMPLEX WORLD

well im back from Chicago...it was so freakin amazing!! omg..i so loved it there!! here are some of the pics...hope you like them! XD

the city

the ferris wheel at the NAVY PEIR

THE CITY AGAIN!

ME AND MY DAD ACTING SCARED ON THE FERRIS WHEEL!! (i look so stupid) lol

THIS IS LIKE A HUMAN CAROUSEL...ITS TO HARD TO EXPLAIN! YOU HAD TO BE THERE

ONE OF THE MANY HOMELESS PEOPLE VERY SAD..:[

MY DAD, GRANDMA, UNCLE DAVID, AND AUNT KELLY

AND THE OUTFIT I BOUGHT IN CHICAGO!! SO CUTE!!

well i have to say i will be going back to chicago sometime in my life...lol..anyway i had so much fun and i already miss my uncle so much!! hes the best uncle i could ever have..:] well..i dont know what else to write so yah...ill write l8r*

♥ me......

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Jul. 9, 2008 - You can only move as fast as whose in front of you

1. I've come to realize that my arms...
always have pen on them

2. I've come to realize that when I talk...
i stutter alot

3. I've come to realize that when I love someone...
id do anything for them

4. I've come to realize that I need...
a more interesting life

5. I've come to realize that I have lost....
my mind

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
my heart gets broken

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be...
myself

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on...
a cute boy...lol

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone is...
so ugly...i need a new one

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
i said 'five more minutes mom'

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night...
i think a lot

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about...
life

18. I've come to realize that when I get on HSB...
i see whos online first

19. I've come to realize that today ....
was very tiring

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will...
be online

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will...
be very tired

22. I've come to realize that I really want....
someone to hold me...

-Do you hate the last guy you talked to?
no

-Do you only drink bottled water?
no

-What are you listening to right now?
myself singing in my head

-Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
mckenzie

-To send you a hisholyspace message?
umm...idk

-What's on your mind most today?
how much i luv someone...:]

-Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
depends usually hide them

-Are you missing someone?
terribly...:*[

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
i guess so

-What instant messaging service do you use?
hisholyspace...and one other one i cant think of the name..lol

-What color is your hair?
dirty blonde

-Who was the last person you talked to in person?
my mom

-Are you happy right now?
not really

-Is your phone right beside you?
nope..lolz...*goes and gets it*

-What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
warm weather....yah

-What does your best friend call you?
my name..lolz

-What were you doing 4 hours ago?
idk..thinking bout stuff

-Are you good at math?
no

-What famous person do you look like?
idk you tell me

-What's your favorite holiday?
my birthday

-Have you ever gone to a concert?
HECK YES! i luv concerts so awsome..lol

-have you ever died your hair?
no....:[

-Do you cry a lot?
ya...but i have my reasons

-Are you good at keeping secrets?
yes

-Do you have any superstitions?
not really.

-Do you crack your knuckles?
haha yea

-Do you give special ringtones to certain people?
nope

-How many showers have you taken today?
1

-Do you drink soda?
yesss.

-Can you remember your last dream?
yup...but i dont want 2

-Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
YUP........O_o

-Anything hurt on your body right now?
my foot...weird though

-Do your best friends know your family?
yea

-What is bothering you right now?
idk...lots of things

-Who was the last Person You Hugged/Hugged You
idk...umm....my friend..<3

♥ me...

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Jul. 4, 2008 - I LOVE GUMMY BEARS!!!!

lol..ok this is a video of me trying to sing the gummy bear song!! Its so funny...hehe**

♥ me.....

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Jul. 3, 2008 - Pull The Trigger And Get It Over With...

so this weekend is the 4th of July!! *woot woot* i luv fireworks so muchies! hehe* they r so fun...except my poor doggie totally is scared by them so she hides under my mom's bed for like a whole week! lol so sad...jk ya so i have no idea what else to write so...umm hope you guys have a great forth of july!!

<3 me....

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Jun. 22, 2008 - You've Got Your Gun To MY Head

hey how is everyone?? im great..lol...anyway just thought i would update my blog so people will actually read...umm lets see...im going to chicago in about 3 weeks...because my uncle is graduating NAVY bootcamp....:] i cant wait i so miss him.

my brother is leaving for church camp this week...YAH!!!! lol....he cant even sleep he's so excited..XD which means ill probally be hanging out with my friends 24/7 this week...:] lol...and here is a pic of my bestie mckenzie...i luv her so much!!!! we were acting stupid..but i luv this pic..:]

<3 me.....

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Jun. 12, 2008 - My Hands Are At Your Throat And I Think I Hate You!!!!

well how is everyone?? im good....i went shopping the other day and i got 3 shirts. they are so cute!

Oh ya and i got a letter from my uncle who is in the Navy! i was so excited...:] i was jumping up and down. its was kinda funny..lol...anyway....he said hes doing good...and cant wait to see us! i miss him so much...:*[
anyway...thats pretty much all that happened...ya i know boring..lol.....l8r!

<3 me.....

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Jun. 6, 2008 - Oh God I Hate The Me That I've Become

MOST POWERFUL EMAIL I EVER GOT

i had on new clothes,

new sneakers on my feet.

i was there for class on time,

went to the back and took my seat.

Yeah, im moving up,

im already grown.

soon i'll be graduating,

and out on my own.

i talked to some of my friends,

we were all having fun.

said some things i shouldn't have said. did stuff i shouldn't have done.

i knew i was different....

i felt God touch my heart,

i knew i should set a standard,

but then i'd be set apart.

walking to the bus, i was not looking for strength.

i heard the car tires screeching,

but now its to late.

i'm standing in this room,

and i can see the heavenly gate....

oh no! i never prayed.

I thought i had time to get it straight!

an angel walked to me,

he had a book in his hand.

i knew it was the book of life, when would this dream end?

i told him my name,

and he began to look.

then he looked at me sadly and said,

your name is not in this book.

angel, this is a dream,

no, i cant be dead!

he closed the book and turned away,

he whispered - you cannot

proceed ahead

no.....no this can't be real,

angel, you can't turn me away.

let me talk to God,

maybe he'll let me stay.

he led me to the gate,

Jesus came to me.

he did not let me in but said,

Beloved what is your need?

Jesus, i cried, please,

don't cast me away from you.

tears ran down his face and he said,

you knew what you needed to do.

Lord, please im young,

i never thought i would die...

i thought i'd have plenty of time,

death caught me by suprise.

Lord, i went to church,

Please Jesus, i believe.

he said you would not accept me,

my love you would not recieve.

Lord, there were too many hypocrites. they weren't being true.

he took a step back and asked,

what does that have to do with you?!

Lord, my family claimed to be saved, they werent real you know.

he said, I died for you,

now i have to go.

i fell on my knees crying to him,

lord, i planned to be real tomorrow.

i couldn't make Him understand,

i had never felt such sorrow.

then it hit me hard, i said,

lord, where will i go?!

he looked into my eyes and said, my child you already know.

please Jesus, i begged.

the place is so hot.

it seemed to trouble and grieve him, he whispered, DEPART FROM ME I KNOW YOU NOT.

lord, you're suppose to be love,

how can you send me to Hell?

he replied, with you mouth you said you loved me, but each day you rejected my salvation.

with that in an instant, day turned to night.

i never knew such torture could be, now too late, i know the bible is right.

if i can tell you anything, hell has no age.

it is a place of torture.

separated from god and full of rage.

you know, i thought it was funny, a joke, but this one thing is true.

if you never accept jesus christ, HELL IS WAITING FOR YOU!

so please, ask him into your heart.

please show this to everyone you know and care about!

<3 me.......

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May. 31, 2008 - I Dont Know Whats Worth Fighting For....

again i dont have a freakin clue what to blog about.....umm my friends sister just graduated....and my friend i think went to ohio today...i miss her so much..:[ umm anyway here is a new pic of me and nicole if you look really close you can see the purple streaks in my hair...XD

<3 me.......

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May. 25, 2008 - Scars Remind Us That The Past Is Real....

well again i dont know what to write about so here are some new pics!! hope u like them...:]

me and my friend nicole..she looks so cute in this pic...:]

i love this pic...love is real.....lol...my eyes are so blue...:]

<3 me.....

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May. 24, 2008 - You Gotta Love Yourself Before You Can Love Me......

well i have no idea what to write about...umm....ya nothing really exciting has happened lately...um i went to the movie swith my friend mckenzie...ya...that was a lot of fun!! lol....here is a pic of me and my friend JJ...shes so freakin awsome...lol...XD

i luv this song its by as cities burn-empire........2 listen 2 it u have 2 turn off my music...:]

i have got no idea what else to write so i think ill post one of my poems..yup im gonna do it...lol....i hope u like it...:]

~~WAKE UP LOVE~~

is it real i want to feel it

breath it----

taste it-----

be it----

but love is just a word it cant be real

a word used to often, then it lost its appeal.

but its here, its hiding from everyone

it wont come out until were done-----

fighting, cheating, useing it without care ----- love wakes

can you feel it, seeping through your lungs

can you taste how sweet it is

be careful not to use it to fast, its only begun

love is fading away again, what did we do?!

love is gone---- replaced with something new

i cry as i watch you think this fake love is real, come back love we need you

love you the only thing that knows how to heal, our broken hearts, our messed up lives

but you dont come back, you say you have to go

its the only way, is all you say.

so ill be waiting love, till the day you return

and ill tell them youve left, but they will never learn

that to see the real love, you cant believe in the fake, because your putting real love again at stake!!

so what do you think?! tell the truth..lol....:]

<3 me.....

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May. 16, 2008 - I Can End The Planet In A Holocaust

well i dont have anything to blog about right now but i will tomorrow...im going to this youth confrence and then after everyone is going to this gocarting place after...so i think its going to be fun...i will take pics...since i always have my camera..lol....btw here are some pics that i like...:]

and another dumb video..lolz....of my brother...trying to sk8board...lol

<3 me......

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May. 14, 2008 - This World Will Never Be What I Expected

well to day i got up early!!!! OMG....i know thats not like me lol....my uncle left 4 the Navy...ya i know i said he already went but right before he was going to go they said he couldnt go because he split his head open like a week before so he had to wait till now....but yes he is now on his way to Chicago for bootcamp. *cries* i will miss him...but we get to see him after bootcamp....in like 3 months.

here are some pictures and a video of his swearing in.

All the people going to bootcamp...

There he is...my uncle David...lol hes all red...and nervous

Him with his BULLET STOPPER(bible)

Eating...ok i was kinda bored...lol

What he gave me before he left....yes a paintballgun!! i have always wanted one so bad...now i got one.

I love it so much!!

This truck is so cool....lol....ya i know random

And my new poster...i luv family force 5!!! they r awsome

<3 me.......

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May. 13, 2008 - I Fell Off The Face Of The Earth.....Wait, The Earth Has A Face?!

If you have noticed I havent been on in like a while....i fell off the face of the earth for a few weeks.....and some of you know why...lol...but here are a few pics of what i did while i was not on earth...jk....hope you like them XD

these are all saying from songs and PARANOIA is my favorite word ever...lol

our church had a food drive......

new pic of me...not sure if i like it yet

me and my friend nicole