Computers and the Internet have made a dramatic impact on homeschool families. (Let's hope that it's mostly for the better!)
Homeschool moms have a world of information at their fingertips now. Online lesson plans, craft ideas, blogs about different topics, curriculum company websites, videos, etc. . . .the list could just go on and on.
Plus, our kids are more computer savvy than ever before. Many start out banging on the keyboards as little tykes and are easily navigating computer games and the web by the time they can spell their names.
While there are risks associated with kids being online, the skills they are learning can be very beneficial. If you've been wondering about letting your kids try blogging and how it can be used for school, the recent Blogging Basics newsletter can explain how.
Many homeschoolers are also reaping the benefits of online classes, educational games, and other online tools. Want to share how it works in your homeschool? Just send me an email!
P.S. - The Schoolhouse Store has another huge Grab Bag sale coming tomorrow. It will have a fabulous bundle of gifts, but it's only for the first 50 qualifying orders. Watch your email for details!
The computer can be a friend or a foe in your homeschool. We need to place limits on these blue-faced boxes that beckon us. The draw for our attention can be great. Some of the rules we have made about the use of computers in our homeschool are:
· No computer until all bookwork and chores are done. If bookwork calls for computer usage, mom needs to know when and where they are doing that, and they are not allowed to go to ANY site without permission even though we have all the guards and filters in place. We check our filter reports regularly.
· Time limits are placed on computer usage after school. If there has been too much electronic activity that day already, then computers are off-limits until they have done something creative and hands-on or physical first and have cleared it through mom.
· For non-school related things, such as games, we normally limit our younger children's time on the computer to 30 minute increments each. For the older ones, they can have up to an hour of research, selling things, email, etc. They may also need more time for their college class assignments or special projects on certain days.
· Many times when the children ask to use the computer for something fun rather than necessary, they must first do something for the family. That means they look around the house and find something that will benefit the household - like helping with a younger sibling or a meal.
One of the biggest concerns at our house isn't the children being online. They are well monitored. But it's the amount of time I spend on it. I must not spend an inordinate amount of time; I need a time limit. Surfing, shopping, and chatting with our friends should be a treat, not an everyday occurrence.
Five minutes online leads to twenty, and then before you know it, you've clicked your way into frustration as everything else piles up around you.
That blue-faced box calls our name, and sometimes we just have to say, "No!" to ensure the best of use of our time.
The Martyr's Victory, by Emma Leslie, begins by introducing us to Egbert, a young frail Saxon living in the country of Mercia. He is continually scorned and laughed at by his family and the world. Resolving to run away and die in the woods, he meets an elderly monk who invites Egbert into the church's realm of safety. Forsaking all he has ever known, Egbert follows the monk, Osric, to a new life at the monastery. There he learns to read, write, and copy the scriptures.
But danger arises as the savage Danes of the north threaten to destroy the monastery and all of Mercia. A meeting is held in the church and it is decided that six monks shall venture to the Danish lands bringing not only the seed of grain, but also the seed of truth found in the Word of God. Egbert wishes to come along but cannot, because he is too weak. Told that he, and several others, may join the party of six in about a year's time, he is content to remain.
Upon arriving in Ea, an island in East Anglia, the six monks meet a young girl named Elswitha. They soon find out that she has just escaped from being sacrificed to Odin, their false god. Later in the village, Osric encounters a Danish warrior who has been drastically wounded in a single-combat battle and now believes that he is destined to die. As he is a skillful leech, Osric uses all in his power to work to cure the unfortunate Dane. Will he succeed? If he does succeed, will it help in saving Mercia from the warlike Danes? Will Osric's faith impact the Danish people? And what will happen to Egbert? Find out in The Martyr's Victory!
Congratulations to our September winner, Jennifer Sikora from Kentucky!
Have You Seen This Gift?
This week we want to feature our gift from our friends at Progeny Press. With the cooler weather just ahead, take time to cuddle up with some good reading. These study guides for literature will let your student fall in love with reading again. Each study is written from a Christian perspective. If you love literature, this one is for you: Customer's choice from 95 study guides in PDF on CD. View a sample HERE. What a wonderful gift, valued at $11.99- $18.99, FREE just for subscribing with our Fall Special.
E-Books open up a world of possibilities for homeschoolers! We have nearly 2000 E-Books in the Schoolhouse Store and we are adding more everyday! E-Books are a great resource for homeschool families. You can have them downloaded and ready to use in minutes! Plus finding room to store them in your house is never a problem! So hop on the E-Book Express and take a look at all the wonderful E-Books we offer! We offer E-Books in 15 different categories to make them easy for you to find what you are seeking. Some of our popular categories are Language Arts, Literature, Math, Music, Home Ec/Homesteading and Science.
We also offer a new, free E-Book every month. So make sure to stop by the store and download our current E-Freebie!
Remember, at the Schoolhouse Store, there is always free shipping!
The radio was predicted to obviate the need for teachers and books and classes. But it never happened. Then television brought the same predictions. One TV teacher could be viewed by many classes in a school or district, so this new technology would drastically change schooling as we know it. Again, it never happened.
Now we have computers and Internet and we can predict again. This time, some predictions are beginning to happen. Internet is a good research tool. When students need certain information that is not on their bookshelves and would eat a lot of time going to a library, they can do a Google search and usually find it quickly.
The concept of distance learning has reached all the way to earning a college degree by Internet. Some of those courses are simply high-tech workbooks, moving along step-by-step as the old "programmed" workbooks do. But more and more of the courses are adding variety with things like video demonstrations, online discussions, and sending in papers which the professor reads and grades.
Ten years from now, we'll see how much change in education the computer has made. In the meantime, your students can try out some of the new and mix old and new in any way you all choose.
Let me just jump in and say that the computer is a great tool for homeschooling families. We use it for typing, piano, math, and grammar. The computer allows our children to learn at their own pace and get hands on instruction. . .sometimes from a person who is a whole lot smarter than us.
Let me also jump in and say that the computer is dangerous and should not be trusted. I constantly have parents write me and share horrible stories of how their sons and daughters have been caught in its snare.
These are some of the lessons I have learned from them. Never allow your children unsupervised time on an Internet connected computer. Don't ever assume that your son or daughter is just doing online school. Don't ever assume that they won't go poking around sites they shouldn't be viewing. Don't ever assume that it won't creep into your house.
Make sure you have controls, filters, guards, and passwords on your computer. One dad told me how his son would sneak down at night and get on the Internet while they were asleep.
How does something like that start? Just a little bit at a time. It begins by doing a research paper and stumbling across something "bad." The first time or two they resist. . .but later on, they might just take a "click." The next thing you know, they're in over their head.
I'm telling you Mom and Dad, the computer that is hooked up to the Internet is a possible pathway to death.
I know it sounds like I'm making a big deal over nothing, but when you hear horror story after horror story it changes your perspective.
Yes, use the computer. . .but be careful. Don't assume that it's safe. . .because it is not. Take precautions, train your children to flee temptation, and view your computer like a potential family destroyer.
It's hard to believe that anyone is not using the computer in their homeschool nowadays. But, since we have been homeschooling for many years now, I do remember homeschooling before the computer! I laugh as I remember the year I suggested that we start changing our phone tree method of communication in our homeschool group to an email list. What a radical concept that was! Now, all these years, later I can't imagine homeschooling without the computer! What an amazing tool it is for homeschoolers!
These days we use the computer in many ways in our homeschool. We use it as a tool to communicate with other homeschool families. We use it to research and find information we need. We use the computer to buy curriculum and find free things to use in our homeschool. The possibilities are endless!
The best place to communicate with other homeschoolers online is HomeschoolBlogger.com! Nothing has changed our homeschool experience more than being a part of HomeschoolBlogger! Through this free community I have learned so much! I love being able to learn from others that are doing the same thing we are and getting new ideas and encouragement. If you are not blogging, or at least reading blogs at HomeschoolBlogger.com, I encourage you to do so!
Here are some of the free sites I use with my kids:
While every effort is made to ensure that the recommended sites are family-friendly, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and its writers do not own the sites recommended. Content and advertising can change without notice. Please exercise caution when viewing websites and review all websites before allowing your children to visit them.
Meet Our Friends
Wreaths of Maine is a Christmas wreath company. Our wreaths are sold by homeschoolers, they earn $6 each on most wreaths! Selling wreaths is easy! We process orders, and ship to customers-nothing to deliver. Sign up today, call or write 1-800-676-1132 refer to "TOS" for a FREE sales kit.
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PHYSICAL EDUCATION FOR HOMESCHOOLED CHILDREN - Textbook describes over 75 skill developmental activities and games. Lesson plans are included for groups of one to six children, and for large groups of 25. Activities are geared for elementary age children. If they love to play now, they will be active later! www.peisfun.com
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Free "Financial Stewardship Activity Book" for Kids - Teach your kids about giving and sharing from a biblical perspective. Through the activities in this 28 page booklet, your children will become reflective, learn to make good money choices, and shine in the glory of giving. The Financial Stewardship Activity Book is free at http://tinyurl.com/525gtg.
Help Wanted
We are looking for 10 parents of special needs children, who are NOT already in our Special Needs E-Book in progress, to give us their "testimony" in 500 words or less about how having that special child in their home has actually ENRICHED their lives. Why would life not be as good without him/her in the household? We want to know the joy and blessing behind having this wonderful child in the homeschool.
The ten parents we choose will get a free E-Book when finished - that is the only compensation.
Please do not turn in your testimonies directly - first email Charlotte McKinney and give her a short sentence or two stating why you should be chosen as one of the ten to go into this E-Book.
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The Old Schoolhouse is always looking for a new one-room schoolhouse photo to grace the magazine's cover. We need a 9 x 11 photo, or a negative, or digital image (300 dpi), and the schoolhouse needs to be dead-centered with natural surroundings. The front or front/side view is best.
If your photograph is used, we will pay you $50, feature your name as cover photographer and send you two copies of the magazine. Send a digital image to publisher@thehomeschoolmagazine.com or mail it with details to Cover Photo Search, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, P.O. Box 8426, Gray, TN 37615. Be sure to include your name, email address, and phone number.
Not sure if a one-room schoolhouse is located near you? Check out the One-Room Schoolhouse Center. It's a working list of existing one-room schoolhouses in the U.S.
We want to hear from you!
Share your thoughts on this week's newsletter. We love to hear from our readers. Also, feel free to pass along this newsletter to your family and friends. You can click on the Forward to a friend button below.
I don't use a computer all that much for my girls, they know how to run a computer, at least the basics, they do sometimes play games on them, and do some typing and use the paint program, but right now I think it's better that they focus on books, rather than electronics.
I on the other hand would be lost without my computer, as I put all of my grading on the computer, not to mention all the other computer stuff I do outside of homeschooling.
The Old Schoolhouse Magazine Teaching Multiple Ages
October 1, 2008
Dear Victoria,
People often wonder how homeschool parents can teach so many different ages at once. Society has been conditioned by the public school experience of different ages being segregated. It makes what should be a normal part of family life seem like a daunting task.
I love having my boys (16, 12, & 7) all working together at the table. Even though my youngest might not be able to fully comprehend all that we're discussing, he definitely gets the benefit of repeated exposure to new concepts. Plus my older boys get the benefit of repeated practice on the basics by helping him.
It might take some juggling to find what best works for YOUR family when you're schooling kids at different levels, but remember that grade levels are a very arbitrary thing and they don't have to rule your homeschool.
You decide what you want your children to learn and just dig in. I'm sure that there will be something for everyone - from oldest to youngest.
Teaching multiple ages. My first thoughts went something like what Todd Wilson's might be:
Babies - put them in the swing with a good dose of sleep inducing music.
Toddlers - send them to the backyard with a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a big spoon.
Elementary kids - Buckle them to their little school desks making sure their hands are free to write down the answer to every problem in every workbook - correctly.
Older kids - Banish them to their separate rooms to mope until their work is done with threats of having to baby-sit the others if they don't.
Okay, I am totally not serious, but some days we just wonder how we can teach all these ages all at the same time. Well, the beauty of home educating is that you don't have to do either-you get to do them:
You don't have to teach: A lot of learning is done without you specifically setting time aside to instruct. Learning happens in living life together. What kind of learning? Older kids learn how to interact with younger ones; young ones hold conversations with adults; everyone learns how to be on the same team working toward the same goals, and they all learn to serve and love each other. You get to teach whatever you choose as a family to learn.
You don't have to teach all at the same time: While I am working with Caleb & Mercy on phonics, Hannah is working with Joshua on science, Christopher is reading to Hope, and Jonathon is working with his computer math tutor. And then we can switch subjects and partners. Other days, Mom is doing her computer work right next to the table where all the independent students are gathered around doing their assignments while the younger ones are playing games nearby. You get to teach all at the same time as you gather together to study the Bible or history, or read aloud their favorite books.
Multiple ages can mean multiple challenges. It can also bring multiple blessings as we multiply our time in prayer. Then, we certainly see God multiply our creativity. (I think I am finally learning my multiplication tables). Okay, I'll stop now.
No matter how you multiply it, you can do it. What Johnny doesn't get today because you are working with Susie, he will get tomorrow when you are working with him. Do as much as you can all together. Being together as a family reading and talking and laughing and learning-it can't get much better than that!
The Martyr's Victory, by Emma Leslie, begins by introducing us to Egbert, a young frail Saxon living in the country of Mercia. He is continually scorned and laughed at by his family and the world. Resolving to run away and die in the woods, he meets an elderly monk who invites Egbert into the church's realm of safety. Forsaking all he has ever known, Egbert follows the monk, Osric, to a new life at the monastery. There he learns to read, write, and copy the scriptures.
But danger arises as the savage Danes of the north threaten to destroy the monastery and all of Mercia. A meeting is held in the church and it is decided that six monks shall venture to the Danish lands bringing not only the seed of grain, but also the seed of truth found in the Word of God. Egbert wishes to come along but cannot, because he is too weak. Told that he, and several others, may join the party of six in about a year's time, he is content to remain.
Upon arriving in Ea, an island in East Anglia, the six monks meet a young girl named Elswitha. They soon find out that she has just escaped from being sacrificed to Odin, their false god. Later in the village, Osric encounters a Danish warrior who has been drastically wounded in a single-combat battle and now believes that he is destined to die. As he is a skillful leech, Osric uses all in his power to work to cure the unfortunate Dane. Will he succeed? If he does succeed, will it help in saving Mercia from the warlike Danes? Will Osric's faith impact the Danish people? And what will happen to Egbert? Find out in The Martyr's Victory!
Congratulations to our September winner, Jennifer Sikora from Kentucky!
Have You Seen This Gift?
Lorrie Flem, a homeschool mom to 8, married 23 years, and the publisher of TEACH Magazine wants to share her secrets with you. She has a special gift for TOS Fall Special subscribers. She will give you a fresh new look at scheduling everything from cleaning to homeschooling, and hubby too! Get more done! Control your time and love doing it.
Gift includes:
1. Staying Sane with Noah and a Schedule, 60 minute video
2. Staying Sane Listening Guide
3. Sample of TEACH Magazine
You get your choice: an Mp3 download, or have them mailed to your mailbox. What a deal! Worth $21.94, but FREE just for subscribing with our TOS Fall Special!
Now is the time to subscribe to TOS! With your order you will receive six wonderful gifts and you definitely don't want to miss out on this one!
Schoolhouse Spotlight Angela Quigley, Director of the Schoolhouse Store
Do you have preschoolers you need to keep happy while you are teaching your older kids? Preschool Activities in a Bag are just what you need!
This book contains detailed instructions for making preschool activities that:
*Are educational and fun
*Require little to no help from mom
*Are self-contained and easy to store
*Are self-guiding and self-correcting
*Cost very little to produce
Busy preschoolers are happy preschoolers! What keeps your preschooler busy? You will find this great product in both E-Book and print version HERE.
Remember at the Schoolhouse Store, the shipping is always free!
At one time the public schools believed in mixing ages in one classroom, and many schools tried it out. The idea did not catch on universally, mainly because teachers needed retraining to handle the new kinds of groups. Many educators still believed in the advantages of mixed age groups. It was more like real life, younger can learn from older, and older grow more sympathetic and helpful to younger. But they could not manage it efficiently in the public schools.
Homeschool parents are trained in mixed ages year-by-year as their families grow. They don't need to switch over from handling a class of thirty age-mates. And they are reaping the advantages, possibly without even realizing it. Their children do treat the younger more kindly and talk with adults more naturally. The younger do learn from the older. These and other real-life skills develop even while many parents try to imitate the artificial life of school age-segregation.
Teaching the whole family feels like a struggle. Parents try everybody on one history or science topic, try some independent studies for independent students, try different curricula, and search for new kinds of curriculum. But the struggle pays off. You're always doing the best you can at the current time.
The age mix in your home is exactly right. Even if you have only one child he is better off with parents and friends and relatives than he would be with a herd of thirty age-mates at school.
From my wife's point of view, teaching multiple ages is probably one of the hardest things about homeschooling; especially when you have a truckload of kids. I know she often feels like she doesn't have enough time to devote to each individual child. From what I can gather from some of the phone calls that she receives from other stressed out moms, apparently she's not alone.
BUT from my perspective, the one that sits in a nice, quiet office in the basement, that's the BEST part of homeschooling. In fact, I think it's the best way to learn. . .being surrounded by a bunch of other family members. Why? Because your children are learning a whole bunch more skills than math and English.
They are learning how to function as a family, that life doesn't revolve around them, that sometimes they have to wait or help others, and that they have to work as a team to accomplish anything.
Those are vital skills that need to be mastered. By teaching a bunch of children at the same time under the same roof, they will master those skills.
So, I'm not going to give you any advice on how to devote time to each individual child...because you may not be able to do a lot of that. But let me say, that's OK.
So keep up the good work. . .while I go back to my nice, quiet office.
This is a topic I can easily relate to! This year I have one in preschool, one in grade school and one in high school. Yes, I know a little about teaching multiple ages! Here are a few things that have worked for us.
Since my oldest and youngest are 10 years apart we obviously can't do everything together. But, I do like us to start our school day as a family. So each morning we begin the day by reading from the Bible together. Here is a site where you can read the Bible for free.
After our Bible time, my oldest heads off to work independently and I work with my 2 little ones. One great thing I have found helpful while working with 2 children at different learning levels are file folder games. These are folders you can put together that are filled with projects that even a preschooler can do alone. These allow me to keep my kids happy and busy while I work with my other child. Here are some great free file folder games to print and make for your kids.
Another thing that works great for us are lapbooks. Whether we are all working on the same topic, or 3 different lapbooks, this is something the kids can all enjoy doing together. Here are our favorite places to get free lapbooks.
Lastly, we like to take frequent breaks and do simple things together, like take the dog on a walk or make cookies. This keeps us all connected and allows us to enjoy the best part of homeschooling, being a family!
Happy Homeschooling,
Jamin
While every effort is made to ensure that the recommended sites are family-friendly, The Old Schoolhouse Magazine and its writers do not own the sites recommended. Content and advertising can change without notice. Please exercise caution when viewing websites and review all websites before allowing your children to visit them.
Meet Our Friends
Wreaths of Maine is a Christmas wreath company. Our wreaths are sold by homeschoolers, they earn $6 each on most wreaths! Selling wreaths is easy! We process orders, and ship to customers-nothing to deliver. Sign up today, call or write 1-800-676-1132 refer to "TOS" for a FREE sales kit.
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Worship Guitar Lessons at Home! It is easier than ever to learn guitar at home. Includes a full year of lesson plans with, 3 books, 3 play along CDs, 6 DVDs that guide students to achieve their goals to become great guitar players. Homeschool tested! Christian based. Free Trial at www.8chords100songs.com Save 20% Code: EHJ1008
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Field Trip Factory offers FREE, FUN, community-based field trips! Our learning adventures teach valuable life-skills in health and nutrition, science, responsibility and more. Great for homeschool, playgroup, scout and camp trips! Available for grades Pre-K through 6th. See what is available in your area today! www.fieldtripfactory.com 800-987-6409.
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Great music CD's for kids that "Don't Drive Parents Crazy!" Sound like an oxymoron? Lanny Sherwin has a great selection of children's music that is original, savvy, fun, and only occasionally gross. Winner of 31 music awards. Positive, thought-provoking lyrics. Listen to FREE samples at http://cdbaby.com/all/lannysherwin. Also visit www.SandmanRecords.com
Help Wanted
A Note from Paul & Gena Suarez
History has shown us that when we turn to our own readers as it's time to expand our staff, we are successful in filling a myriad of positions. TOS and THM readers, particularly those who have been interactive with us presently or in the past, are best suited to understand the personnel needs we have as a company. It really does make sense, if you think about it. Why place an ad outside of our own immediate community? YOU are who we look to for insight, suggestions, and friendship. So, a need has come to mind...read on if you like to learn and have some spare time to make a little bit of cash.
During the month of October, we are going to conduct a "correspondence style" marketing "class", if you will. There are a total of 25 openings, and you will need to dedicate about ten hours per week to research, reading, and writing practice. This won't be work that you will be doing for TOS for free, just a chance to learn more about marketing. Up to three of you will be selected at the end of October for a part-time marketing assistant or writer role as an independent contractor. Those who are offered a contract (whether temporary or permament) have the option of turning it down - we still want you in the class. Two of our current (highly esteemed!) directors at the magazine (Dena Wood and Nancy Carter) started off in a class just like this several years ago. The cream surely rises to the top. While we're not looking for future directors in any way, we are hoping to gain up to three helpers who are interested in earning some part-time Christmas money for at least a couple of months or more, working from home. If you want to join this free class - which will be primarily conducted via email - please contact Gena Suarez at publisher@thehomeschoolmagazine.com.
We'll get started on October 8th and end on November 6th. On November 7th, up to three of our top participants will each be offered an independent contract for half of November and all of December with a possible option to continue in 2009.
Share your thoughts on this week's newsletter. We love to hear from our readers. Also, feel free to pass along this newsletter to your family and friends. You can click on the Forward to a friend button below.
"I won't do it!" my child screamed after being asked to sit down and start the day's math assignment. "You will too!" I resolutely stated right back. "I will not!"
Some days were worse than others, but all were equally miserable. The older siblings would complain and take up my offense. Younger siblings would cry because Mommy was crying. All the while, the smug little hard-nosed rebel sat defiantly on the bed screaming and shouting to his (or her) heart's content. It was a struggle not to allow bitterness to rule my spirit. The daily strain upon my heart, soul, and body were wearing me down to the point I wanted to pull away from everything and everyone. I would cry out to God. "How long, O Lord?" I lived in the comfort of the Psalms. After I cried, I would read and pray. I HAD to in order to face my child again.
How did we end up here? We analyzed everything from birth. Was it the fact that this child was born screaming? Maybe it was that time at 3 that I intervened, thinking Dad was too harsh. Or was it because in public he was well behaved, so I let slip his passive rebellion at home? Was it his early mental maturity trapped inside a childish body? Was it because he was sandwiched between six other siblings? Was it medical? (Indications of ADD were present-not hyperactive, but rather the ultra-slow, highly distracted side.) It was probably the combination of all of these things that enabled this sweet little child to erupt into a full-blown rebel. Yelling, screaming, throwing things, you name it. I had only read about this kind of child, and now I had one. What in the world was I to do?
Recognize the Triggers of Rebellion
We both desperately needed help, so I started to research. I learned to recognize the triggers of these angry responses and my contribution. I began to look at what happened before the flare-up and recognize the signs of an impending eruption. Was I angry with him? Was he provoked by a sibling or maybe jealous for my attention? Was he distracted? Was his schoolwork too difficult or too easy? Did he get enough sleep? What was he eating? Getting to know the triggers helps in warding off the explosions. Follow me as I share with you what I have learned in dealing with a rebel.
Be a Disciple, Make a Disciple
Discipling was one of the keys to eventually opening our rebel's heart. As we continued to disciple and pour the Word of God into our child, we began to see things change. Here are some suggestions:
Be a good disciple of the Lord yourself! My goal is for my rebel to follow Christ as I follow Christ.
Draw your child in close. We had to pull our rebel in as a shepherd does with a wayward lamb. We took him with us wherever we went, and he stayed by our side as much as possible.
Be to her what you would have her be. Exemplify patience and kindness. You will begin to see your child's heart soften and your own heart change toward her.
Have other godly influences in his life: teachers, friends, and godly pastors and speakers who reinforce what you are teaching.
He needs to be close to the authority figure. He should go to work with Dad or become his shadow when he is home.
Disciple her in prayer. Show her who to run to! Let her see your vulnerability. She usually sees your strength. Let her see your tenderness. Allow her to follow you to Jesus.
Discipling takes time. Invest time you do not have, and you will reap fruit you did not expect.
Teach What Is Good
Teach your rebel the Word of God. Help him define rebellion. Lead him to Scriptures relating to "rebellion," "fools," and "stiff-necked" people.
Teach him that God disciplines those He loves.
Teach her the cycle that is repeated throughout history: idolatry, bondage, repentance, deliverance, and rest. Idolatry is turning away from God's commands to our own self-rule: this leads only to bondage. If we repent, we are delivered and find rest (read the book of Judges).
Teach him God's plan for protection offered in authority. When we step out from under the authority placed in our lives, we are left unprotected.
Teach repentance by modeling repentance toward the child. If I show any signs of anger or unkindness, I ask for forgiveness quickly.
Teach the order of godly government. God has given us the duty to govern our own households. Children lacking self-government must be governed. God's beauty and order is displayed in godly government.
Creation is governed by order, not chaos, and declares the glory of God.
Teach the foundation of our faith based on the order of a literal, six-day creation. God also created our rebel to declare His glory-teach her that she can glorify God if she stays under His authority structure. Teach him that self-control is placing himself under God's control. He will soon realize that he can't control himself; this is when you can show him his need for God's control.
Go over what Christ did on the cross. Christ can free us from the power of sin and the penalty of sin. Lead your child to the cross at every turn.
Homeschooling
If you are dealing with major rebellion from your child, you may need to adjust your educational goals for the time being. You may need to step back and let your child excel at a lower academic level rather than struggle where he "should" be. I had to re-focus my standards on the basics: Bible, math, and language arts. You can also help your child with the following adjustments:
Provide lots of good reading to cover the rest of the school subjects, such as good biographies that exemplify people strong in spirit.
Look for curriculum that doesn't frustrate. Don't hesitate to change curriculum that is boring or overkill.
If writing is too hard, have him dictate to you and then show him his work.
Allow her to choose topics of study. Find out what she delights in and continue in that direction until the desire ceases.
Have him read a Proverb and ask him to tell you what it might be saying to him personally. What did God mean when He wrote it? How can he apply it to his life this day?
During peaceful times, have her read the Bible or a good character book to you and discuss it together.
Scripture memorization changes hearts. Write the same verse every day until it is memorized. Feel free to do so with her.
Let him play his instrument before doing his schoolwork. It can help soothe and set the tone for other work to follow. If it doesn't distract, play calm praise music quietly in the background during school time.
Separate siblings. This eliminates many distractions and potential trouble. Try to make a place of solitude for your rebel. Have the other children respect that privacy.
This is the kind of child that needs to be "doing" something with you. Our child flourished when we worked together and balked at independent study. Stay with her until she is confident and successful.
Give him something to look forward to when he gets his assignments done. Have a good book, special project, or free time waiting for him as a reward. Rebels can be highly motivated by rewards.
Consistency
Provide clear, strong guidelines in all areas-personal, school, chores, etc. The child must know what is required of him, and requirements must be clear. Print them out. Have the same rules, the same school assignments, and the same chores every day. Give him a daily schedule or checklist to visually keep him on track and monitor progress. Be consistent in all of these areas:
Have a consistent bedtime. This child may have an earlier bedtime than his siblings, since he may need more sleep.
Have consistent meal times. We eliminated sugar and provided snacks between meals to keep blood sugar level issues at bay. This helped the intensity of emotion to decrease.
Be consistent with discipline, and be sure consequences for each offense are consistent. Allow input so that the child knows you are being fair.
One of our rules is no breakfast until morning chores are finished. Our rebel can't handle more than two assignments at any one time. We keep our instructions as few and simple as possible and try to keep them focused on the task at hand.
Discipline
Drastic rebellion sometimes calls for drastic measures. We employed all of these disciplinary tactics at one time or another:
If he caused trouble with siblings, he was not allowed to play with them for a time and was assigned to his room. He could play quietly or read books of our choosing.
For disrespect, disobedience, or angry outbursts: loss of privileges such as computer time, playing or talking with friends, going on field trips, or participating in classes or any form of entertainment for a given length of time (rest of the day, week, etc.).
If the morning went badly or if he had an eruption the previous day, he went to work with Dad with a backpack full of school books. He followed Dad around on the weekends frequently.
We have had to say no to many activities. For the most part, people understand. Some think we are too harsh, but they have never seen the rebel who lives at our house. They only know the sweet child who goes out in public. Only after a year's worth of many painful cancellations did our child begin to realize his loss and our commitment to keeping our word. Only then did we begin to see a real change.
We have had a tendency to ride the rebel hard and forget about the other children. Stay consistent in enforcing the rules with all of the children so that no "respecter of persons" or bitterness is fostered.
Don't drag out the discipline. Take care of it quickly. When it's over, allow her the grace to start over. Don't bring it up again. Always pray together afterward.
If he cannot control his emotions, he is grounded to his room. I have him read the Word and pray before he is allowed to come out so that he will have an acceptable attitude.
Change the Way You Respond
This type of child tends to be extremely intelligent and to push the boundaries wherever possible, employing manipulative strategies. They are also good at blame shifting. How should we respond?
When I react harshly to disrespect or disobedience, the battle escalates. My grievous words stir up anger in both of us. I have to be quiet and calm, purposing to be kind. Falling into anger and bitterness against the child does no good, as our anger never produces the righteousness of God.
Continuing to repeat a command only frustrates both of you. If the argument is over a command you've given, don't continue repeating the command. Set aside the physical action you want done and take the spiritual action of dealing with the heart issue of rebellion.
Don't entertain an argument or try to have the last word. Stop yourself in the middle of the battle. Drop it and allow the Holy Spirit to intervene. Rebels love to battle, so this will make them angry. You may need to isolate the child until he has calmed down. Don't take personal offense. The rebel is not the enemy; we are doing battle with the enemy of her soul.
Instead of pointing out all her faults, share your own struggles with her. Come up with word pictures or analogies to show her the effect of her actions.
He feels like a failure, so watch him closely with the purpose of praising him. Find the good, however small. Praise any attempt at obedience or kindness. Praise for the lack of meanness.
Love Your Rebel
Your child needs to see and feel your love, and not only when it is manifested as correction.
Don't pull away from her physically. She needs to be reassured of your love for her every day.
Discover his "love language." Plan dates whenever possible. Your child's wayward actions may be his way of trying to get your attention. Be proactive and give him undivided attention regularly.
Teach all the children to love and not to engage in conflict with or provoke each other. Teach them to love their enemies and to find a way to bless and not curse them. Teach boys to honor and protect girls. Teach girls to love and respect boys.
Love is patient and kind-but is Mom patient and kind? Allow God to fill you with the same love that He has for your child. She needs to see love from you even while she is yet a rebel.
Stay Grounded
Rebels are very draining-spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We need to stay grounded in the Word and in prayer.
We need times of refreshing at regular intervals. Get away to a quiet place and rest. Spend time in the solitude of prayer and Bible study.
We need the Word. This is a heart-wrenching, iron-sharpening, full-out battle, and we need to keep our armor on. We need the belt of truth. Untruth comes forth from the child regularly. Read the truth, speak the truth, and memorize it together.
We need prayer and fasting. We are in the trenches of warfare for the soul of our child. We need to be vigilant and proactive and one step ahead in prayer. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against every evil thing that exalts itself. Spend time fasting and focus on the spiritual battle-not just the outward rebellion.
We need to die to our pride, our anger, and our unrealistic expectations.
Have a Future Vision
We need a future vision as we are raising the next generation. What will these rebels have to face in their future that will take this kind of strength of character? If persecution comes to your rebel for his faith in Christ, what kind of person will he need to be? Obviously, God is raising up an army. Remind your child to fight the good fight he was created for. Remind him that he is fighting the wrong fight when he is fighting God's authority (you), and tell him that God made him strong for a reason-he is to be God's warrior. Give her a cause to stand up for, something to fight against, and help her use her strength for good now. We need rebels in the Kingdom of God to stand against sin and to stand for righteousness.
Be a Rebel
Homeschooling a rebel is extremely difficult, and we are still working through it all. Yes, we still have eruptions, but much less frequently. We have learned how to pray, repent, and start over. More importantly, the strong will has carried over into spiritual battles. This will be the time to form a stronger prayer life, a stronger sense of what is right and wrong, and a stronger love for the Lord and His Word. Rebels don't give up easily-be a rebel, Mom, and don't give up on your child. You will both learn to turn to the only One who can truly change hearts: Jesus Christ.
I can hear you asking, will my child ever change? I am here to tell you that there is a God and that He is more interested in the heart and soul of your child than you are. Jesus Christ Himself intercedes to His Father on your child's behalf. Join Him in prayer as you intercede for the heart of your child. Don't give in to discouragement; be encouraged with new vision for your child. You are not alone in having the special blessing and calling of raising a rebel.
"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." -Galatians 6:9
Further Resources
I highly recommend the following resources:
Homeschooling the Challenging Child, by Christine Field
No Greater Joy-free monthly newsletters
Winning the Heart of a Rebel and other resources on anger by S. M. Davis
The Five Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman
Doorposts-many resources taken from the book of Proverbs
Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit, by Teri Maxwell
The Heart of Anger, by Lou Priolo
Deborah Wuehler is the Senior Editor, Chapel Editor, and Devotional Editor for the Old Schoolhouse Magazine. She resides in Roseville, California with her husband Richard and their seven gifts from heaven. She loves digging for buried treasure in the Word, reading, writing, homeschooling, and dark chocolate! http://www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/DevDoorDeborah
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Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I did an entry here....I have been having some internet problems, and than it seems when the internet is working right, I have ten thousand other things to do. And to top it all off, I find that I have to find a job. I had hopes of being able to finish my transcriptioning course and be able to work from home, but money has run out too quickly and I need to find a job for a few more months while I finish my transcriptioning course.
I have worked and schooled the girls before, plus the regular daily living things like taking care of the house, and bills and such....I even juggled my own studies and all the other stuff for a few months, and I have to say that it was hard, really hard!!! But you do what you have to do as a parent. I will go to work again...I will do the best that I can juggling everything, making sure the house stays relatively clean, making sure the girls' schooling doesn't slip too far, doing the best I can do with my own schooling...*sigh*....I'm tired just thinking about it, but as I said, I will do what I have to do....As we all do as parents.
Good evening to all, well I guess officially it's good morning, as it's after midnight here, but such is my life. I can't ever seem to get to bed at a decent hour...mostly because of my own very messed up sleep schedule.
In any case I was doing dishes tonight with my youngest daughter who is 7 years old. As I was helping her put away the glasses and plates and such, that go into cubboards that she can't easily reach, I was touched by something. She brought me some of our glass bowls, and as she handed them to me, she said "careful Mom, they're glass." Now I have to admit that my first thought was "duh, I know that" but than I just thought about it a moment and I realized that it was one of the sweetest things she could say. She has been listening to the thousand reminders that I have given her about being careful with glass things. Oh I could give you a list of a million other things that she just doesn't seem to have heard me say, but I won't...I want to focus on this blessing, and to me it truly is a blessing, because I know that my little girl heard something I said.
I don't know about you, but many many times, daily, I wonder if I'm speaking English, or if my girls need their hearing checked again, because it just doesn't seem like they listen to me, doesn't seem like they HEAR me.....Now I know....and you will too, if you just keep gently, and depending on the situation, not so gently reminding them of things...At some point it will sink in....and you will be blessed, just as I was blessed this very night.
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Some days were worse than others, but all were equally miserable. The older siblings would complain and take up my offense. Younger siblings would cry because Mommy was crying. All the while, the smug little hard-nosed rebel sat defiantly on the bed screaming and shouting to his (or her) heart's content. It was a struggle not to allow bitterness to rule my spirit. The daily strain upon my heart, soul, and body were wearing me down to the point I wanted to pull away from everything and everyone. I would cry out to God. "How long, O Lord?" I lived in the comfort of the Psalms. After I cried, I would read and pray. I HAD to in order to face my child again. 
