June 27, 2006
Third Culture Kids
We are so blessed that Gabriel, Hannah and Holly love living
here in Romania.
In fact, they could not wait for us to return. They have become accustomed to
the culture, made some friends and they know the language fairly well. I am thankful for that and yet I must
acknowledge the fact that my children are third culture kids, an upbringing
which has both benefits and challenges.
Third Culture Kids
(TCKs) - "[A] person who has spent a significant part of his or her
developmental years outside the parents' culture. The third culture kid
builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full
ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated
into the third culture kid's life experience, the sense of belonging is
in relationship to others of the same background."
According to one study, TCKs
”… were more self-confident, had more flexible minds, were more active and
curious, and had a higher bilingual ability. He noted that these students can
‘swim in two cultural oceans.’Because of their varied experiences, the students can see life in terms
greater than one cultural boundary and can explain and express
themselves in more than one culture.”
I can see those traits in our children. But along with the blessings there are
burdens to bear. Perhaps the greatest hardship for children living in a country
that they don’t call home is leaving family behind – grandparents, aunts, uncles
and cousins. Christmases and birthdays
can be lonely times. Their friends change and go in different directions and
when they go “home” they realize their friends are not friends any more.
It can be an embarrassing moment for a child to discover
that he or she is ignorant of simple American practices. I had to laugh out loud yesterday. I know you shouldn’t laugh at your
child. But I did. I was trying to get Holly to write a poem
about the Fourth of July.
“But what do I write?”
She asked.
“You know, picnics and fireworks.” I told her.
“Fireworks? Who in
the world does fireworks on the Fourth of July?”
I’m sorry but I laughed out loud. Not a giggle or a chuckle but an out and out
side splitting laugh with tears coming down my cheeks as she stood there
wondering what on earth could have been so funny. The last time we were home for Independence
Day she was only three and has no memory of the American tradition of
fireworks. They are only legal here the
last two weeks in December. The culture
she knows is staying up late on New Year’s Eve with your fingers chilled to the
bone while trying to light sparklers in below freezing weather.
Holly easily forgave me for laughing at her and even laughed
with me. Her lack of knowledge on this
upcoming holiday has opened opportunities for some lessons in history, culture
and a link to our home country. Stay
tuned as we share what we are learning.
Comments
June 28, 2006 - too cute...
Posted by dawilli
I had a friend in colleg who grew up in Bangladesh and felt so out of place when his roommates threw an 80's party, he didn't know any of the songs his buddies were all reminiscing to... it was cute and sad at the same time.
I've posted a few posts with some great resources I've found on-line (free!) for studying American History as we get close to the 4th of July, which, I can't even imagine not assoiciating in my mind with fireworks...
Thought you might like to check them out,
have a good one,
ali
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June 28, 2006 - I will Celibrate the 4th in my heart (0:
Posted by Canadagirl
Now that I live in Canada I don't get to see the fireworks on the fourth ((sigh)). Two nice things are that it is My Birthday on the 4th, (0: and I do get to see fireworks on the... first of July. It is Dominion Day here in Canada. It is like the fourth for Canadian's. I do miss the fireworks on my day but thats okay. So light a firework and remember me. (0: Even though you aren't un the US. Well I better do my dishes and go do the 27 Fling Boogie. I love it when you visit.
In Him,
-Canadagirl
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June 28, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by kateyz
You and your family are so fortunate to get the experience of living somewhere with a completely different culture. I wish I had that for my kids too!!
Have a great day!
Kathleen
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June 29, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by eyecorn
Your children are getting such a wonderful education! Don't forget...4th of July wouldn't be the same without some cold, juicy watermelon!
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June 29, 2006 - Karen - I was just thinking about this.
Posted by jewls2texas
I saw Gabriel posted a comment on Kaitlyn's blog - so I went to see if he had posted on his - and he had - then I visited Hannah's blog - and she too had posted. It seems they both feel like they came "home" when they returned to Romania - and I was thinking for your ministry what a blessing that must be. Although I didn't have that term - I definitely knew that their lives are extraordinarily different. There are no losses when the cost is counted for the kingdom, however your mother's heart I am sure must wonder. If we know that every thing that is in our lives is there by divine appoitnment - we can see that what God is doing in your children's lives is building them for a purpose in His plan - of which we can only see a glimpse. Your kids are awesome - and I was so blessed to meet them - and we were so sad that we missed an opportunity to see you again. But maybe someday we can come to Romania! I loved the story about Holly. She is so inquisitive. I love her spunk! That fireworks story is one to retell over and over again. Oh yes, and by the way - my husband's family in Texas has always lit fireworks for Christmas! (of course it isn't probably bone-chilling weather!)
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June 30, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by TwaddleMeNot
This was such an interesting post to read - thanks for taking the time to post all of that! By the way, I am tagging you with a quiz someone sent to me. It's on my blog. I'd love to see your answers and get to know you a bit better if you are able to do it. If not, have a lovely evening!
Melissa
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July 6, 2006 - Untitled Comment
Posted by KerryLeighinNC
We have some friends who are missionaries in the Phillippines. Their children have experienced the same thing. The youngest seems to be affected the most - not sure why, except that I think he attended more school than the other two. (All were homeschooled for some portion of their education.)
Anyway - it is an interesting phenomenon and one we should be sensitive to with our friends and aquainances who are missionaries.
Kerry
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