Dec. 15, 2008 - Steps to Defuse Anger in Parenting - Part One

The ones closest to us are the ones who see most of our unguarded moments, especially the children whom we spend all day with. We should conclude that offenses can happen and some do exist.

The first step in defusing anger as a parent is to realize that there is an issue. Recognize anger for what it REALLY is… do not excuse it for anything less, such as being irritated, sad, worried, frustrated, discouraged, annoyed or even depressed.

Ask your spouse and children to identify anything that you need to make right with them. It is very important that you listen to them without getting defensive. I will tell you from experience that this is hard. PRIDE will fight you every step of the way! At an appropriate time, ask for forgiveness. If forgiveness does not come quickly, it’s okay. Be patient and loving and allow God to work on their heart- and yours.

Principle:  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18 (NASB)

The key to receiving God’s blessing and strength is humility. God says: “…My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14. (NASB)

Let me share with you what the Lord told me.

“My people who are called by MY name”… yes, that was me.

“humble themselves…” God says I have to humble myself? Humbling myself in this situation would be to go to those (spouse, children, parents, etc…) who I have offended and ask for forgiveness.

“Pray and seek MY face”…. I repented. I went to God and admitted my sin of anger and asked God to forgive me.

“turn from their wicked ways…” Let me say this: If TRUE repentance happens then I will not return to this sin. Now, I questioned this statement that was made by my Pastor.

The Lord revealed something to me (from my past). There was another sin in my life I dealt with years ago. I knew it was sin, but I couldn’t stop sinning. I enjoyed it. Then afterwards then I would repent and before I knew I was doing it again. The Lord revealed to me I was only going through the MOTION. Although, I repented by my mouth, it wasn’t in my heart. I was going through the actions, but I really didn’t mean it until one day. I just couldn’t go on the way any more. I fell on my knees cried out in agony to Him. At that moment, I felt something… it was as if that sin was ripped out of me. I got up off the floor and never went back to that sin. Beloved - that was true repentance. That was me turning from my wicked ways.

At that point, God “heard from heaven and forgave me of my sins.”

“heal my land.” Land doesn’t necessarily means property but it could be my health, my family, my marriage, my job, my finances, my relationship with my children, etc… When it comes to things like this, I do NOT put my God in a box. My God can heal all things.

According to Andrew Murray, "Humility, the place of entire dependence upon God, is . . . the first duty and the highest virtue of man. It is the root of every virtue. And so pride, or the loss of this humility, is the root of every sin and evil."

Once we have humbled ourselves by confessing the angry spirit; then ask the Holy Spirit for success in this area before moving on to the next step.