Dec. 15, 2008 - Steps to Defuse Anger in Parenting - Part Two

The second step to defusing anger is to renew your mind and heart. God says in Romans 12:2: “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Renew your mind by meditating on His Word. A new refreshing renewal comes when we wash ourselves with the Water of the Word.  Here are the verses that I wrote out on index cards and taped them on my bathroom mirror:  

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:26-27; 31-32.

“But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” Colossians 3:8

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20

When you are tempted to anger, PRAY!! Pray the above Bible verses. God tells us that His Word will not be return void.

When temptation comes, speak to yourself the same words that Jesus spoke, “For it is written, 'YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD, AND SERVE HIM ONLY.'"

The third step is to realize what pushes the hot buttons. For example, frustrations on not getting things done, unfulfilled expectations, not getting your way, etc. are some of the things that pushed my hot buttons. I have heard of many hot buttons over the three years I spent in counseling women. The point is, find yours and stay alert!! Give up these expectations and frustrations and replace them with God’s control. "My soul, wait only upon God and silently submit to Him; for my hope and expectation are from Him." Psalms 62:5.

Do not allow a brief outburst of anger take root. The first flash of emotion isn’t sin in itself however, if we continue or “entertain” such an emotion by allowing it to take root in our minds and heart, it becomes SIN.

“When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].” Ephesians 4:26-27

God’s grace is great! When you “blow it” make things right with the offended person as quickly as person. Make every effort to keep communications lines open by lovingly, and prayerfully explaining how you feel. The offended person will most likely be receptive. Your tone of voice and your body language is very important.

God says: “A SOFT answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise utters knowledge rightly, but the mouth of the [self-confident] fool pours out folly.” Proverbs 15:1-2.