Well, in case you don't know, the Five Hundred is dead. Alan Mulally revived the Taurus name by putting it on the facelifted Five Hundred, hoping that a more reconigizable name, as well as some tweaks to the drivetrain and looks, will bring up the so far dissappointing sales of the Five Hundred.

I personally love the Five Hundred. I have a review completed of it, which I have not yet posted, in which I gave it a rave review. I love it, it is a wonderful car to say the lease. It also won two awards from me (The awards will be up by march), for "best value" and "best car that nobody wants".

Well, to say the least, the Five Hundred's sales numbers have hot been anything to celebrate for Ford. While the car itself has gotten rave reviews. Everybody who tested it so far has loved it. The only thing that they hated was the fact that the dated Duratec 30 engine and the CVT transmission made the car snail-slow, and basically the worst car for merging onto freeways. Yep, you will have to use the brakes to merge in this one.


Well, I have to agree with Mr. Mulally when it comes to the name. Because, well, the Five Hundred is not a distinctive name, and it just doesn't stick. Come on guys, tons of cars have had "Five Hundred" glued to the trunk over the years. While Taurus, everybody knows what a Taurus is.

But, the members of myford500.com tend to disagree with me, They are pissed at Mr. Mulally's decision to say the least. They believe that the Taurus name is too tarnished from Ford's decision to turn the Taurus into a fleet special after the third gens were not selling, and the fact that the Taurus is a midsized family sedan, not a full size livingroom-on-wheels luxury car.  In fact, one suggested that they all send mail to Mr. Mulally and Ford, telling them how they think he made a stupid decision. One even sent a letter to Mr. Mulally, asking him to rethink his actions.

Well, to say the least, I don't think that Mr. Mulally will be changing his mind. He wanted to save the Taurus ever since he took over as chairman. He even rented one just to try it out. He believes that Ford's current *****footing around, trying to be "bold" and "hip" are just fluff, and that is Ford wants to make it back, they should stop being all hip hop and young targeted, and should go back to their core audience, and reviving the Taurus name is their first step in that direction.

I believe that the Taurus name is what the Five Hundred needs to be a success. The Windstar made me believe, because the Windstar was a good selling vehicle. But when Ford renamed it "Freestar" to go along with their new naming scheme to name all their cars to start with F. And as a result, nobody knew what a Freestar was, and the Freestar tanked. While the Windstar was a popular selling nameplate, teh Freestar was a huge sinker. In fact, because of the Freestar's tanking, Ford is leaving the minivan business.

Well, the guys at myford500.com still don't think the change is good. They think that the change is a wrong step, mainly because at least I think, that they are afraid that the new name will infect the Five Hundred with the bad "fleet special" aura following the Taurus. In fact, this saddens me. I am not mad at the myford500 guys, but Ford. The Taurus was a revolutionary vehicle that changed the way all cars looked, feeled, and drived, but today nobody thinks that, as Ford whoring them off to fleets to clear out the G3s (Which also tanked), turned the car into just a fleet special in the public eye, and Ford's neglect to update the model just made it worse.

But, on the other side, the Taurus Car Club of America has been very welcome to change, while returning sympathy to the myford500 guys. (Well, most have been sympathetic). The owners of the TCCA have even suggested a merger of the two clubs.

My thoughts? Well, while I understand the pain of the guys at myford500, I think that they should step back and look at the bigger picture. Yes, the car has been inflicted with a tarnished name, but with the new name and drivetrain, their beloved car will finally be the success it deserves to be.

Model tested: 2007 Lincoln Town Car Signature Limited

Pros: Good looks, heritage

Cons: Extremely out of date, competitors offer so much more.

Don’t be fooled by:  The “2007” on the window sticker. This car’s technology dates all the way back to 1990.

My Choice: Used 1992 Chrysler New Yorker.

Alternative drives: Lexus LS, Cadillac DTS, Flintmobile,

Verdict: A used 1991 Chrysler New Yorker offers the same amount of technology and equipment. Lincoln, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

You all have heard of the Lincoln Town Car, right? Of course you have. It is a limousine posterchild, and it appears all the time in the mass media. It is basically a pop culture icon, for class and physique. So, why is Ford starving this symbolic car, to the point where they nearly stopped production? I got the chance to review one late in December 2006, where I still can’t get over the car’s out of date technology, which goes back to 1990. Paying 50 thousand for a car that is basically twenty year old technology. Yippy-hi-co-high-yay. Who is Ford trying to kid? We are not that stupid, and we will not continue buying into this dreck if early nineties technology is the best you can give us. This is the kind of stuff that makes you not feel sympathetic for the big three, as they are continuously slapped around by the Japanese, especially the evil, diabolical machine that is Toyota. If you want your customers back, you got to build a good car that we want to buy, instead of forcing your twenty year old technology on us by playing the “buy American” card. I think they would have learned that back in the eighties, when they almost hit the wall, until they were saved by the Taurus, which got buyers simply because it was better than anything the Japanese were offering.

 

Well, enough of my rambling. I got my Town Car to review, which was dealer fitted into the urban special, with a carriage top, gold twenty inch TIS rims, and a  two tone paint job with gold trim. Now, this was all done by the dealer, the factory doesn’t install any of that stuff. I was appalled, because it took away from the car’s classy design. But, without the pimp mobile do-up, the Town Car is a very classy car – at least on the outside. It has HID headlights, a stand up radiator grille, with the famous stand up Lincoln logo. It basically gives a modern twist on the classic American rear wheel drive sedan, all with a classy twist.

 

Well, climbing inside, I first was relieved that I no longer had to look at how the outside look had been ruined. But, this is when I realized why the Town Car has been getting so much negative press, because it just doesn’t cut it against its competition. The Mercedes Benz S Class, Lexus LS, Cadillac DTS, and Jaguar XJ all contain high up prestige, and world class design and features. The Lexus LS is widely considered one of the finest automobiles in the world, with over forty JD power awards, and Ford’s CEO Alan Mulally – Who is responsible for salvaging the Town Car - states that his LS is the finest car in the world. The Mercedes Benz S Class does the same thing. To put it as Jeremy Clarkson did, “Whatever appears in the Mercedes S Class today you can expect to see in all cars a decade from now.”

 

Jeremy and Alan hit it on the head. Its competition is world class, setting standards for the industry, while the Town Car has nothing to brag about. It is like putting an accountant in a poker game with Will Smith, JoJo, and Jim Carrey. All his competition would have something special and distinctive about them, while he sits dumbfounded, just like the Town Car in the flagship luxury class. All the Town Car has to offer is the seats out of a mid twenty thousand dollar car, a split bench front seat, and err, an analog clock which is…..cool. It doesn’t even contain the safety features of its competition. The S class has a safety system which includes computer that roll sup all the windows and tilts the driver’s seat away from the door to prevent the driver’s head from hitting the B pillar and/or glass. Heck, even the $21,000 Taurus offers a more comprehensive safety system.

 

The Town Car won’t even get you street cred anymore. If you drive around in the hood with you arm out the window and your 50 Cent CD blaring out the CD player in a Town Car, I bet that everybody will be laughing at you, even if you were 50 himself. Which is what I was doing while reading the dealer brochure. I almost died laughing when they tried to compare it to the Cadillac DTS. The Cadillac CTS, their ENTRY level model, trumps the Town Car. Heck, a 1992 Chrysler Fifth Avenue trumps the Town Car.

 

Now, you see me here relentlessly lambasting the Town Car, even going as far as saying that a fifteen year old car beats it. But the reason why this is is simply because it is too out of date. The Town Car couldn’t be more out of date even if it came with “Rich, Corenthian leather” and/or “Mark Cross designer seats” along with a carriage top and wire wheel covers. The seats don’t offer any lateral support that I would expect in a car in this price range, along with the lack of any real prestige equipment. While what the Town Car offers may have been luxury scale back in the early nineties, today, the Town Car is just made into an overpriced turd because of it. What can be found on the Town Car can be found on a late Twenty thousand dollar car. A $25,000 Ford Five Hundred SEL with a few ticks on the option list will give you more equipment than a Town Car.

 

There is only one time when the Town Car actually shows the tiniest bit of class, with the Signature L edition. It has a fold down armrest with electric controls that can move the passenger seat forward to give the rear passenger more rear seat room. Which he will need, as the Town Car offers less rear leg room than an Accord. (Woah, oh! As eighties car commercial jingles went).

 

So, the only thing the Town Car is is fancy con artistry. While Lincoln tries to make it sound like you are buying a prestige automobile, all you are doing is getting conned, just like in the “find the queen” game in a New York City slum, only you will be twice as embarrassed, when you tell your friends that you spent fifty thousand on this stone age turd. Instead of a Town Car, go to your local Chrysler dealer, and buy a 300C instead. Wait, cancel that, go to the bargain used car section of that same dealer, and buy a 92 Fifth Avenue for $2,500, and spend the rest on a Civic for the mistress. So there you go, I never thought I would be doing this, but I am actually suggesting a 15 year old car over a brand new one. But that is the way it is. The $2,500 used car special Fifth Avenue offers all the equipment of a Town Car, for .5 the price. Think about that, Lincoln. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Toyota revealed that the xB nameplate isn't going to die, and that one of the new Scion models will be marketed as a second generation xB. That also reveals that the new xB will most likely be a wagon. Although it has been revealed that there will be a second generation xB, Toyota has not revealed any more information about the new xB, nor did they say anything about the xA's replacement.

Ford Edge: Can it Edge past Toyota?

Model tested: 2007 Ford Edge SEL

Pros: Innovative interior, out of the ordinary looks, bang for the buck

Cons: No third seat, Radio takes getting used to.

Don’t be fooled by: The adverts. You can’t drive a car on the edge of a building, you idiot.

My Choice: SEL AWD

Alternative drives: Mazda CX-7

Verdict: Ford has created a well rounded entry in this segment. If they make more cars like this, they can stop the evil, diabolical machine that is Toyota.

 

Well, unless you never watch the news, you would know that Ford is not looking good right now. Sales are down, profits are down, and they are struggling just as much as Toyota is profiting. GM, who used to be the worst, is seeing bigger profits, and is starting to get out of debt, though for Ford, things are just getting worse and worse. Ford needs a hit, and they found a good spot to aim: The crossover segment. A crossover is a vehicle that rides like a car and gets a car’s fuel economy, though it sits high like an SUV. Due to rising fuel prices, this segment is being studied by many auto manufacturers, especially since the high fuel prices all but killed demand for SUVS.

 

Ford is really stepping into this segment. Last year they introduced the Five Hundred based Freestyle. Now, they are going in deeper with their new Edge. Ford has pinned many hopes on the Edge, and for Ford’s survival, the Edge has to be a hit. Ford is advertising it rigorously, and they are doing anything to get buyers, including even allowing you to test drive the vehicle on a race track/cone slalom course.  Many have liked the Edge, and believe that Ford has hit the spot, so I knew I had to test and review it.

 

I was really impressed with the Edge, and I could tell that Ford put a lot of work into it. I especially like how Ford did the three bar grille. While it made the fusion look butt ugly, they way Ford did it on the Edge makes it look futuristic, instead of butt ugly. What they did differently is that they made the chrome bars flush with the rest of the car, and kept them out of the air dam.

 

The rest of the car flows smoothly, creating a look that is bold, though is far away from ugly. I really like that. I think Ford got it all wrong with the Fusion, though they got it right with the Edge.

 

Inside, the Edge just gets better. The interior is a well crafted mixture of aluminum, leather, and plastic. The plastic is placed at the right spot, and the leather is well placed too. The interior is well crafted, and fit and finish is great. All the parts go together great, and fit well together. The radio though, is hard to get used to if you have the satnav, and you will constantly have to take your eyes off the road to work it. So, that said, I suggest passing up the satnav, because it is just a distraction.

 

The rear seat is mounted kinda low, though it is comfortable, and it reclines, scoring bonus points. And there are rear cup holders, though unless you designed the car, it will be impossible to figure them out. You have to pull up a handle on the center of the seat, and pull the center of the back down. Doesn’t sound too hard, but you have to really pull it with all your might to make it come down, then the cupholders flip up. To me, it would just make more sense to put in a rear armrest with cupholders.

 

The Edge is packed with innovation. The console , for example, has a shelf that comes out  for keeping items you will need to keep close, and you get a small compartment in it to keep items hidden away, as well as Ford’s handy little compartment in the middle of the dash. It also has a power liftgate that opens with the touch of a button, which also scores it bonus points. It also has an in dash 6 CD player, which can be operated while driving, without having to worry about a CD changer.

 

Overall, I like the Edge, and I find that Ford has put a lot of work into this car, and it shows. It looks good, the interior is comfortable and innovative, and there are many toys to play with, all for a sensible price. And while I recommend the SEL out of all of the Edge models, the base models are nothing to sneeze at either, as they offer similar amounts of innovation and comfort. The Edge is a very well rounded competitor, and it just may be what Ford needs to bounce back. I think the Edge is a hit, and I hope that the American buyers will think that too. While America has been recently lagging, stuff like the Edge may be just what it needs to get Motown back on top.

Import it: Ford Mondeo
This is a well rounded car, that looks good, drives good, and is a well rounded vehicle. It is currently offered all over Europe, and is very popular vehicle there. When I went to Scotland last year, I got to test one, and I found it to be a nice, well rounded automobile. And if I, an american, was impressed by this car, then it may just work. I bet it they brought it over to america, it would sell. It is really that good.

Deport it: Jeep Compass
The biggest, ugliest, most useless, souless, waste of metal I have seen in a while. Get it out of my sight.

If you can find an uglier car, please point it out.

Model tested: 2007 Dodge Nitro SXT

Pros: Innovative interior, engine line, german engineering, That new hard drive radio thing.

Cons: Styling, rear quarters, desirability, price

Don’t be fooled by: Dodge’s “Go bold or go home” campaign. There is a difference between bold and downright ugly.

My Choice: A Dodge Caliber.

Alternative drives: Saturn Astra, Honda Fit, soapbox racer, brick.

Verdict: The Dodge Caliber is a much smarter choice.

 

 

Well, Dodge is hoping to appeal more to value buyers, and shed off criticism that they are “overpriced”, so they are launching new economy cars, which are supposed to give you American muscle at a small price. First came the Caliber, a well rounded competitor for the Japanese, and now the Nitro, which apart for being a posterchild for how not to make an economy car, is a complete useless waste of time and money.

 

When I approached it, I was digusted. The styling is ugly and unimaginative, and the car is super boxy. It has no aero engineering whatsoever, and it has the aerodynamics of a brick. Actually, it is a brick, just look at it! And those big fender flares just add insult to injury, especially when they are that black plastic on the base model.

 

Inside, it gets better. While the outside is horrid, the inside is not so bad. The door panels reflect the exterior styling, and look ugly as sin, though the rest is not so bad. The dash is very easy to use, and its use of aluminum is very nice and jazz up the interior. The two toned seats also look good, and give a bold feeling to the interior, without going overboard like the exterior. They are also very comfortable and supportive. The controls are easy to use, and can be used without taking your eyes off the road, and that hard drive radio is just too cool, and is the only reason I can think of for buying this car.

 

The console is well placed, and features enough storage for whatever you youngins need to tote around (since this car is aimed at younger audiences, and is meant to compete with Scion), and the interior has many storage nooks, and it has a good feel of quality to it. Thanks to the Germans, it is bolted together very well, and it carries a good sense of quality.

 

Sadly, the innovation ends there. The rear seat is poorly placed, mounted too low, too close to the front, doesn’t offer good support, or space. I would recommend it for children only.

 

There is enough trunk space for your belongings, and it offers an innovative shelf device to help organize your cargo, as well as anything else you will have to carry.

 

Overall, although this car has some good virtues, it is best to pass up. There on the same showroom floor, you can buy a Caliber, which looks better, is bigger, and more innovative, at about the same price. Or, just take your business elseware. Ford’s Focus and the new Saturn Aura and upcoming Astra are much better buys.

 

Yes, the rumors are true. Scion is cutting two of its models, the xA and xB (background). The tC (Foreground) will remain in production. Two new models will be launched in the spring to replace the xA and xB, and will join the tC. They are expected to look like the tC, and look "conventional". This is probably to retool Scion's models to look like more conventional cars. Scion has not released any information about these new models, though they have told us that xA and xB production seized, meaning that dealer's stock is all thats left of the two models. In 2007, more information about these new models is supposed to be released.

Well, the scenario goes like this: Cadillac has a fresh new model line made from Wayne Cherry’s dictated designs, that are so advanced, that the creators of The Matrix wanted to use the vehicles in their film. Cadillac has now set the bar for all American brands to beat, and this has spelt out bad news for Caddy’s only domestic rival, Lincoln, who has lately played it safe and kept their designs simple and conserved. How are they going to answer to Cadillac’s new advanced designs? Well, their answer to this seems to be the new Lincoln MKZ. It was originally introduced as the Zephyr in 2005, to join the Ford Fusion and Mercury Milan as the top scale model for that platform, as well as replace the Jaguar derived LS. In hopes to make their line more “Chique” like Cadillac’s, they changed their model names to three letter names, and hence, with a new front bumper, the Zephyr becomes the MKZ.

 

Well, outside, you can tell that it is a new styling direction for Lincoln. The design is a lot sleeker and more advanced then Lincoln’s previous LS, which was to sum it up, bland. It is stealing some design cues from Mercedes-Benz, with its grey-with-chromes-accents grill with a large Lincoln logo in the center. HID headlights and sporty chrome wheels complete the package. Overall, I like the design, as it is sporty, yet handsome, and not bland like its predecessor.

 

Now, I open the door, and I am greeted by the Lincoln’s new interior. This is where the package all falls apart. While at first, I appreciate Lincoln’s effort at creating this new interior, it quickly dies as I sit in the driver’s seat. I find the interior just like punk rock music: completely useless and unimaginative. I felt a little bit of the premium feel of the car when it had a “Lincoln” door step in, though as I set my foot on it, it sounded like I just set my foot on a bit of tin foil. This was the start of the car’s cheapness that would appall me.

 

I sat in the driver’s seat, and all I could think about at first was how stupid and ugly the dash was. It uses a simple three block design, a block in the middle for the radio and all that jazz, and two other blocks to make it a dash, all completely horrid. The steering wheel was also poorly laid out, as the top and bottom were wrapped with leather, while the side spots – where I would grip the wheel while I am driving – had wood on them, the exact opposite of how it should be, as it makes the wheel next to impossible to grip. Though, there is one saving virtue to this wheel, as it has radio and Ac controls in the hub, so I can reach them without taking my hands off the wheel. This is one of many claims by Lincoln that makes this car a “driver’s car”. Well, onto the center stack. I should start by saying that is uses the same navigation system and AC controls from the Ford Fusion and Mercury Milan, though they are now in a horrid light grey. The buttons on the AC and satnav are big and easy to use, but they all feel exactly the same, meaning that I have to look at the radio to know what I am doing. And this completely slaughters Lincoln’s claims of the car being a driver’s car, because if this was a real driver’s car, then I wouldn’t get in an accident while I was figuring out how to work the **** radio.

 

With the dash aside though, this is a very elegant, and well assembled interior, and after I moved past the dash, I found very little to gripe about with this interior. The seats are comfy and well contoured, and console is properly placed and supportive. It also contains good stowage for some CDs and what you may need to have with you during your drive. The only complaint that I have with the console is that it is eschewed of the twin console from the Fusion and Milan, and instead, I just get a fiber cup that is only good for carrying a set of keys or some breath mints, which just feels cheap. Also, I can’t stand the light colored wood, which must have been picked out by Stevie Wonder, as well as being poorly placed around the interior. If I stuffed all the wood grain trim in my mouth and then sneezed, it would look better than this. Let me spell it out for you this way Lincoln: Dark wood is used to add a sense of elegance, and lightwood is better left for the lumberyard.

 

Now for the back. I found out that the rear foot room was very well, and I didn’t have to stuff my feet under the front seat. But the rear seat isn’t very supportive, and is placed too low. The armrest is also poorly placed, and the plastic cup holders completely dominate the area, leaving no room for me to rest my arm on. Plus how the sides are vinyl just make the car feel cheap, especially since the Caddy’s interior has absolutely no vinyl, just leather.

 

So, while this is all in all a good effort by Lincoln to jazz up its product line, I just fail to find enough virtues to lead me away from the Cadillac CTS or the BMW 3 Series. So, while this is a nice car, I, and I bet many other buyers, would prefer to overlook this car, with the interior being the biggest turnoff. So, good effort Lincoln, but it is just not good enough to keep me from supplying Wayne Cherry’s next paycheck at a Cadillac dealer.