Saturday, February 18, 2006
Fear Not?
Posted in Learning on the Narrow Path
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I made a big mistake last night. Instead of waiting for the "Local on the 8s" on the Weather Channel, I turned on the local news. A while back when our dishwasher died, we went to Sears at a nearby mall. It was very urban, but I wasn't scared while I was there. Of course, Dearest Beloved was with us, so I felt safe. We even stopped for ice cream at the food court to celebrate our new "servant." Last night on the news I saw where a man was shot at the doorway through which we entered. The gunman ran through the Sears store and out the door next to the girl's restrooms we visited. I'm no scardeycat. I lived in a downtown urban area as a young, single woman. My first-floor apartment windows were often open at night in the summertime and it never occurred to me that the Lord wouldn't protect me. On his 30th birthday, Dearest was mugged and pistol-whipped by gang members on our own front porch, but escaped with only a mild concussion. Our house was broken into, vandalized and robbed, but the perps only got away with a sentimental piece of jewelry. (The electronic toy cat scared them off - an amazing story for another time.) But for the last 5 years we have been living in a community of 900 where the "big crime" of last year was when an environmentalist burned down the McDonalds just before it opened. Oh yeah, that and kids putting red stickers on the highway deer signs' noses at Christmas. We felt safe. The kids played in our unfenced yard, even while I was cooking dinner and didn't keep one eye on them. But here, even in our suburban housing development I don't feel safe. My day stops when it's time for the kids to play outside or take a walk so I can watch with both eyes and hear with both ears. No one goes to the restroom when out in public without me or Dearest. Everyone goes everywhere together. Balancing awareness and fear is a fine line. Training the children to be cautious without being prejudiced or afraid is difficult. But knowing that our new home - our very first "boughten" home - is so close to that kind of violence wears on my heart and spirit. I know I am protecting them from the violence so prevalent in the schools by homeschooling. I just need to be sure I'm not fooled into thinking they are "safe" anywhere but in Christ. |
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