Posted in Family Life

One aspect of raising boys that is lost in our culture today is the understanding that girls and boys really are different—very different.  Forcing little boys to sit and be quiet and essentially act like little girls for hours each day, to “share their feelings” and be passively spoon-fed information, to sit in front of a video screen for extended periods all go against the natural tendencies of boyishness.  Boys need to be active, they need to be moving, and they need to be tackling projects and overcoming obstacles.  When they are not allowed to do these things, they become frustrated.  In school each day in America, little boys are being told to stop being themselves.  They are told that the desire to slay pretend dragons, wrestle with their buddies, or play cops and robbers is wrong.  Many perfectly normal boys are given the ADHD label for simply displaying natural boyish behavior.  Subsequently, the boyishness is often drugged out of them.  It is a very sad fact that because of the contempt with which boys are viewed by our culture in general and the government education system in particular, many boys are growing up to be frustrated men who have no sense of identity.  They don’t know what it means to be men.  The number of boys growing up without a father in the home continues to rise, adding to the problem.

As a homeschooling mother of boys, I am so thankful that my sons can be spared the difficulties and dangers experienced by young boys in a traditional classroom setting.  My sons (and other homeshooled boys) have the daily structure necessary for proper training, as well as the freedom to explore and conquer new territory each day.  The have real, meaningful responsibilities that contribute to the running of the household and consequently they have a sense of significance and usefulness boys need to have.  My sons have a daddy who is completely invested in their lives and who wants to give them the guidance and Godly instruction he didn’t have when he was young.  I am thankful for the blessings and privileges my sons have and I am thankful for the Lord teaching and showing my husband and I so many truths from His Word that, as we implement them in our lives, will directly impact our sons, thereby influencing generations that come after them.

A boy is only a boy once.  Let him slay the dragon (with a wooden sword) and save the princess (mommy or sister).  He’s practicing to be a real man.

This post is the third in a series on raising sons. 

Posted in Family Life

One Mother of Boys Tells Her Story

When I was expecting my first child, I was sure I was having a girl. Thirteen years ago, it wasn’t as common for people to find out the gender of the baby, so we did not know what we were having before the birth.  It was truly a surprise when our firstborn child was a son.  It was an even bigger surprise when he didn’t want to sleep and he was fussy and needed almost constant stimulation to keep him contented.  As he grew into toddler age (which began at ten months old when he learned to—not walk—run), I continued to be confused about the best way to handle this very energetic little person.  Training and discipline were constant in those days.  I was exhausted all the time in those early years.  By the time he hit five or six years old, however, I began to see glimpses of hope that all the time invested in training was starting to bear a bit of fruit.  He began displaying some signs of self-control and was able to sit quietly for increasingly longer periods.  It was such a relief to my inexperienced mother’s heart to see that maybe it really was possible to get through to this little guy.  At thirteen, he is now becoming a young man who would make any mother proud.  He is intelligent, visionary, artistic, well-read and articulate.  The training, teaching, discipline and guidance have not stopped, though the fruit shows a little sooner these days and I can now see proof that it is worth the investment of time, struggles, and tears.  Most importantly, he wants to love, serve, and honor God with his life.  We’re not there yet, but we’re headed in the right direction.  This young man is going to make a difference for Christ's Kingdom.

My second son is the opposite of his brother in personality.  As a baby, he was laid back and content.  I found it easy to keep him happy and occupied.  He was an active toddler, but not to the same frenzied extent as his brother.  As he grew, I began to realize that it wasn’t me.  I wasn’t doing a horrible job and maybe I wouldn’t even ruin my children’s lives as a result of them being more than I could handle.  However, son number two was definitely all boy.  He just approached it in a different way.  My favorite picture of him from his babyhood is from the time he got into the pantry cabinet.  There he was, a silly grin on his face as he sat in the midst of an entire box of cornmeal, as well as some flour, sugar, and whatever else he had happened to come across in his quest to conquer the uncharted territory (the pantry) before him.  Years later, he is now a boy who thrives on work.  But he is not content to do just any kind of work—he wants to do real work that has a real purpose.  At nine years old, he can work as hard and as long as many men.

My newest little man is now a twenty month old ball of fire.  Nothing stands in this boy’s way.  He sees any challenge, whether it be scaling the back of the couch or building a tower of blocks, and will not stop until he reaches its successful completion.  He is a world-class climber who learned how to get up onto the kitchen counter at nine months old.  At this point, the entire family has been trained to never leave a cup of liquid or a pen anywhere on any surface in any room of the house.  I now find myself in that familiar place of exhaustion I had when my first son was little, but now I know these days will pass all too quickly.  I am also much more confident in my mothering skills and since I haven’t ruined any of my other children yet, this one will likely be okay too.  If I could only teach him not to sing “Holy, Holy, Holy” at the top of his lungs in the middle of a church service….

My boys are a source of joy and hope and I absolutely love being their mother.  I can’t think of a better way to spend my days than trying to keep up with them.

This post is part two in my series on the adventure of raising boys.

Posted in Family Life

As the mother of three very normal boys, I have learned a few things about the wonderful adventure of raising sons.  I often tell people that there is never a dull moment at our house.  The unexpected nature with which boys often react to life’s situations makes it impossible to anticipate at any given moment what will happen next.  My sons, being the very boyish boys that they are, often do things that baffle and perplex their very female mother and sisters.  Frankly, as a mother it can be frustrating at times to know how to respond to certain boyish tendencies.  Their God-given hunger for adventure and their enthusiasm and energy (which can be very useful when channeled properly) can cause a momma to shake her head, shrug her shoulders, or let out a momentary yelp of exasperation.  Even so, I wouldn’t have them any other way.

Each time my boys climb a tree or dismantle a toy or even chase each other through the house with wooden swords, they are honing their skills for someday fulfilling their God-given mandate to take dominion on the earth.  The seemingly excess energy little boys possess does serve an important purpose.  It is an essential aspect of what will make them men.  I have learned over the past thirteen years that it is important for a mother of boys to come up with creative ways with which to harness that energy and cannel it in constructive ways.  Keeping boys busy with worthwhile projects is the key to keeping them out of trouble.    Giving boys something to keep their attention and capture their imagination can be useful in developing in them important skills they will need as men someday.

I love being the mother of boys.  There is so much enjoyment in watching them grow into the men God designed them to be.  They are funny, interesting, capable, confident, excited people who are truly fun to be around and definitely worth getting to know.  Yes, life can be chaotic and noisy.  Boys tend to be disruptive and even destructive at times.  But the benefits far outweigh the trials.  The amazing privilege of working with the Lord to raise tomorrow’s leaders makes it worth all the hassles and headaches.  When I am especially frustrated, I like to stop and picture what my boys will be like ten or twenty years from now.  I like to look down the corridor of time to when they have become husbands, fathers, church leaders, statesmen, craftsmen, and whatever else the Lord may have in store for their lives.  I try to picture the fruit that will come from all the cultivating I am doing each day as my husband and I work to lay foundations and develop their character.  Keeping the long range goal in mind gives me the strength and determination I need to continue in this good work the Lord has set before me; remembering that vision preserves me from becoming weary in well-doing.

Raising sons is an adventure, but it is also an incredible privilege and one of the most important things I could ever attempt to do with my life.

This is the first in a series of posts I plan to share about the things I have learned on the wonderful journey of raising boys

Posted in Miscellaneous Matters

I love the days of early autumn.  Gold and russet are just beginning to show on the hillside, the apples turning ripe in the orchard, the morning air crisp and cool.  We are settling back into our schoolday routine. 

I'm not sure why I love this time of year so much.  Perhaps it is the homey feeling I get when I walk back into a warm, cozy house after a walk in the cool air.  Maybe it's the brilliance of the colors on the trees as the leaves turn.  It could be the way the ground under the maple in the backyard looks as though it has been scattered with red confetti.  Or maybe it's the smell of woodsmoke outside on a chilly afternoon.  Autumn gives me an excuse to cook soup and bake apple cake,  to drink freshly pressed cider and wear a sweater.

The last of the garden produce is ready for harvest.  The days are shorter, so bedtime comes a little earlier and a little easier.  Our days have more consistency and order than our summertime schedule allows.  We are preparing to hunker down for the long, cold winter I wish would hold off a few more months. 

The only fault I find with autumn is that is does not last long enough.

Posted in Miscellaneous Matters

This blog has really accumulated some dust over the past few weeks.  I guess I have been pouring all of my creative energies into our farming endeavors this summer and haven't had anything left to offer here.  Growing one's own food takes a lot of time and effort!

So, let me blow off the dust and sweep away some of the cobwebs.  Take a seat, make yourself comfy, and we'll do a little catching up.

Aside from all the harvesting, preserving, canning, freezing, weeding, milking, mowing, fence-erecting, barn-remodeling, cleaning, organizing, laundry, cooking, sewing, and schooling I've been doing over the summer, I haven't had much time for reading or writing.  Actually, I've felt an amazing feedom in purposely avoiding using the computer except for absolute necessities.  I have not allowed myself to feel obligated to check my email every day or update my blog twice a week or read my favortie blogs regularly--and it has been good.  Real living is so much better than living through a computer screen.

Our family has been very blessed over the past few months to have opportunities to fellowship with several likeminded families.  It is so wonderful to spend time with people who "get it", people who have the same goals and desires for their families as we do for ours, who have similar views and a vision for the future much like our own.  God has been good to direct us to these people who have become dear friends.  These God-given friendships are an answer to some very specific and fervent prayer.

We have officially begun our school year, though we are taking it very slowly, easing our way back into a more structured schedule.  We've already had the "attitude is everything" lecture, and we have all (especially mom) exhibited some signs of *ahem* stress, so I am hoping some of the kinks iron themselves out soon.  Maybe the beautiful weather, which is the first of its kind for most of the summer, is making it harder for everyone (including mom) to focus.  I plan to do a lot of nature study (outside of course) from now until the weather changes.

I have been falling behind in my usual quota of personal reading (one book per week), but what I have been reading has been very good and some of it has been challenging, so I have been stretching my brain despite how busy I have been.

It is hard to fathom how quickly this summer has passed.  I can hardly believe that it will soon be time for picking apples and watching the leaves change.  My family is continuing to try to enjoy the remainder of these warm, sunny days.  I have recently become much more aware of how life truly is a vapor.  Redeeming the time has become more than just a phrase I have memorized.  Time passes by quickly, and what we don't use for God's glory is just a waste.

There, the dust is brushed aside and you now know what's been happening in my life.  How about what's been happening in yours?

Posted in Family Life

At the Paul Revere Statue

In front of the Old North Church

Overlooking Boston Harbor from the captain's quarters of the USS Constitution

Hanging out by the big guns on "Old Ironsides"

Little girl on a big old ship