Posted in Large Families

A friend recently sent this to me via email... I wonder why she thought it applied to my family?

You Know You Are in a Large Family When...

Someone asks where are the boys and you answer, which ones?

You say eight different names before you get the right one.

You have six people in one bedroom.

Everywhere you go people ask, "Are these all yours?"

You take up two pews in church.

You have to double any recipe.

You remember when something happened by what baby was born that year.

You have three bathrooms and they are always full.

Everything you buy at the store is in bulk.

You go through a McDonald's drive-thru and order burgers, and they ask you to repeat your order four times.

You do eight large loads of laundry every day and you are still not done.

You use up two boxes of cereal for breakfast.

Posted in Large Families

Economic times being what they are, many people are looking for creative ways to save money and resources.  Our "friends" in Washington, folks like Nancy Pelosi, President Obama, and like-minded politicians on both sides of the isle, seem to think a good way to "stimulate" the economy is to prevent babies from being born.  The belief that children are a burdensome drain on society and must be limited or even eliminated is ultimately rooted in Darwinian evolutionary thinking, as this article  on the Christianity Today website vividly points out.  The article includes a number of quotes by early proponents of eugenics, quotes which sound eerily similar to much of what is being said today by advocates of limiting family size for the sake of the environment or the economy.  The author of the article points out that this kind of thiinking really isn't all that new:

Those who are biblically-literate will know that an Egyptian Pharaoh of 3,500 years ago and a Jewish King of 2000 years ago share at least one thing in common. They both sought to put to death a generation of innocents. Pharaoh ordered the death of all male babies (Exodus 1:16), while King Herod ordered the death of all male children under two years of age (Matt. 2:16).

Both were early examples of eugenicists and population controllers. We look back in horror at their genocidal plans, but things are not all that different today. There are still plenty of folk pushing radical population control and eugenics policies.

. . . .

History is replete with examples of rulers and elites engaging in eugenics and human population culls. It seems the lessons of history have not been learnt. Our “humanitarian” human-haters continue to promote their culture of death. The packaging may have been tidied up a bit, but the same hatred of humanity remains.

But what happens to a society which attempts to limit it's population growth?  Japan is finding out the hard way:

“Japan is in the midst of an unprecedented recession, so corporations are being asked to work toward fixing another major problem: the country’s low birthrate.”

After decades of social pressure to drastically limit family size, the Japanese economy is on the verge of implosion. With a birthrate of 1.34, they are an aging population without the labor force to maintain their own economy.

In fact, much of civilization as a whole is facing what can be termed as a Demographic Winter.  As Doug Phillips so aptly explains in his article "The Blessing of Children":

This first issue goes right to the heart of the present culture war: Will we be a self-indulgent nation with little regard for the sanctity of life, or will we recognize the God-ordained blessing of the biblical institution of the family with its emphasis on fruitfulness and the blessing of children?

As a nation, we have chosen the former. Now the question is this: What are the practical implications of our selfishness and disobedience? What happens to a country when the Malthusian dream is realized, and women have fewer and fewer babies?

The ultimate result is a culture-eradicating phenomenon and economic catastrophe called “Demographic Winter” — where the selfishness of a generation of families who refused God’s gift of children leads to a national birthrate that is insufficient to replace its aging population.

So what can we do, especially those of us who are Christians and believe God when He says that children are blessings?  We can start by being consistent in living out this belief in our own families.  Do we really love and value children and see them as blessings and gifts from God, or do we refuse them for reasons not much different than the population control gurus use?  Are we aware of how the choices we make really affect those children yet to be born?  Taking the thought-process of "we-want-to-be-responsible-with-what-God-gave-us-and-after-all-He-gave-us-brains-didn't-He-and-I-can't-handle-more-than-the-two-I-have" to it's logical end is really saying that God doesn't know what He is doing in this area.

Trusting God to control the size of our family, and even crying out to Him for the blessing of children is Biblical.  Families like the Duggars are dynamic examples of this being lived out in a winsome and delightful way.  I am inspired by the large families I know who show that this is a wonderful (and very workable) way of life.  My husband and I (and these other families) are doing our part to see that Western Civilization does not become completely extinct.

For a much more thorough treatment of this subject, I heartily recommend The Blessing of Children Collection from Vision Forum, which includes some wonderful resources that have been especially instructive and encouraging to my husband and me.

Also, see Doug Phillips series of blog posts on children as blessings to society:

Our Coming Demographic Winter, Part 1
Children as Blessing or Burden and the Encouragement of the Duggar family
What the Coming Demographic Winter Means for Japan
Mr. Phillips: Stop Having Children

And be sure to follow the link to the first article I mentioned--it is very enlightening. 

Watch the trailer for Demographic Winter.  Eye-opening, to be sure.

Children, blessings or burdens--and who gets to decide?

Posted in Large Families

Often, when I am out in public with my children, I will receive comments from well-meaning people about my family size.  (The most entertaining part about this is that I think my family is small!)  The one I hear most often is "You have your hands full!"  The more curious observers will sometimes ask: "How many children are you planning to have?”  to which I usually reply "As many as God wants to give me!" (which of course shocks them into speechlessness in most cases).

I love children, especially my own, and genuinely believe what God says in His Word about the blessing of children.  They are a reward, a heritage from the Lord, a wonderful gift from the Father of All of Life.  The more the better, that's how my husband and I feel about having children.  Why don't more people feel this way anymore? I believe it is because many people do not truly see children as special, wonderful gifts.  Too often, children are seen as burdens instead of blessings.  Many times, people choose not to have children, or to have only one or two, because of the work or expense of childrearing.  Sure, it costs money to raise a family, and sure it is a whole lot of hard work, but the benefits really do out-weigh the short-term investment.  Many of the benefits cannot be measured monetarily, but can only be measured with the heart.  Life is about building relationships, not bank accounts.

I'm an old-fashioned kind of girl.  I love to read old books, I like antiques, and I see the beauty in time-honored traditions.  I believe in good-old fashioned values of faith, family, patriotism, honor for parents, husband as the head of the family and wife as the heart, lots of children growing up in a house filled with love, laughter and good memories.  These kind of old-fashioned values never really go out of style.

The Old-Time Family
By Edgar Guest

It makes me smile to hear ‘em tell each other nowadays
The burdens they are bearing, with a child or two to raise.
Of course the cost of living has gone soaring to the sky
And our kids are wearing garments that my parents couldn’t buy.
Now my father wasn’t wealthy, but I never heard him squeal
Because eight of us were sitting at the table every meal.

People fancy they are martyrs if their children number three,
And four or five they reckon makes a large-sized family.
A dozen hungry youngsters at a table I have seen
And their daddy didn’t grumble when they licked the platter clean.
Oh, I wonder how these mothers and these fathers up-to-date
Would like the job of buying little shoes for seven or eight.

We were eight around the table in those happy days back them,
Eight that cleaned our plates of pot-pie and then passed them up again;
Eight that needed shoes and stockings, eight to wash and put to bed,
And with mighty little money in the purse, as I have said,
But with all the care we brought them, and through all the days of stress,
I never heard my father or my mother wish for less.

Posted in Large Families

With each child the Lord adds to our family, I am struck anew with how very different each of them is from the others.  Even as babies, each has had their own unique temperament.  It is really quite amusing to note the vast differences in personality, likes, dislikes, reactions, and senses of humor.  I have one child who is very creative, artistic, and inventive, but tends to be a bit of a daydreamer.  Another is very industrious, down-to-earth, and entrepreneurial, but is sometimes too serious for his own good.  One of my children has a zest for life and finds joy and excitement in every new experience, and yet another is shy and cautious, but sweet and thoughtful.  The littlest one in the group is still developing in personality, but he seems to be fairly laid back and happy-go-lucky.  It is fascinating and rather fun to observe the unique God-given traits and tendencies evident in each of these little people he has placed in my care.

Needless to say, however, all these differences tend to be cause for conflict.  The neat-nick gets annoyed by the dreamer’s messes.  The exuberant one gets on everyone’s nerves.  The shy one is also something of a whiner.  All this conflict affords wonderful opportunity for each one to learn how to get along with others.  Rubbing each other the wrong way can help sand off the rough edges.  Growing up in a large family, my children will have plenty of chances to learn to get along with lots of different kinds of people.  If they can learn to get along with their brothers and sisters, and even become best friends with them, they will be able to get along with almost anyone they will come across in their lives.  This is a tremendous blessing in disguise.

As mamma to this varied brood, it’s my job to see that they learn how to get along with each other without injuring one another in the process.  Though that statement is a bit tongue-in-cheek, it is true that at times I feel like a referee.  I often need to remind myself that they will grow up someday, and I want to be sure I do all I can to help them form close bonds with one another while they are young, bonds that will last all their lives.  Intervening in arguments, settling disputes, and strengthening attachments between siblings is hard work at times.  I know it will be worth is someday when I see them grow in friendship with one another and in their ability to interact with many different kinds of people.  I also strive to enjoy and appreciate the differences in them, even when I am having rough edges sanded by some tendency in one of my children I just don’t “get”.

Homeschoolers are accustomed to hearing the question “what about socialization”.  Let me tell you, as a homeschooling mother of several children, mine are getting very well “socialized”--and so am I for that matter.

Posted in Large Families

As any mother of a large family will tell you, going out in public with all those kids is quite an adventure.  Now that I have five children, I am learning first-hand how very anti-child this world has become.  One would think that going grocery shopping with five children in tow is akin to holding up a convenience store.  The looks, stares, grimaces, and smirks can be disconcerting, if the mom of a large family has the ability to break the intense mental concentration it takes to keep track of her children while remembering everything on the shopping list and sorting through her coupons all at the same time, and actually notice said looks, stares, etc.  What is it about several well-behaved children tagging along behind a happy momma that makes people react in such strange ways?  It's enough to make you feel like a circus side-show.

Aside from the usual "You've got your hands full", not many people actually comment on my family size.  Because I love and am thankful for each and every one of my children, and even desire--*gasp*--more of them, I have not received many negative comments.  I think folks instinctively know not to go there.  One very sweet lady did come over to me in the checkout line this week and say the following: "I've been watching you go through the store, and I must tell you, your children are so well-behaved.  You're doing a great job.  Keep up the good work."  Ahhhh.  Words like those are like manna from heaven for a busy homeschooling mom of many.

Actually, I find the interest our family attracts to be entertaining.  However, my oldest son, who at 11 is just beginning to become self-conscious about certain things, is very aware of the attention strangers give us.  I encourage him to be proud of the fact that he is a part of a large family.  Such families are rare and precious, and we are very blessed by God with each member of ours.  As the oldest, he has a very special role to fill, and he is beginning to take that role very seriously.  He is beginning to realize what a wonderful opportunity he has been given by the Lord to be placed in our family.

Despite how the world sees them, children truly are a blessing.  The next time you see a mother with several young children, be like that nice lady in the grocery store this week, and share a little manna of kind words.  And if you're a momma of many little ones, believe that not all the stares are negative.  It just may be that one of those folks watching your family actually thinks your doing a great job, too.