I'm back to blogging about "home" topics on this blog.  I didn't want to overwhelm you with hurricane posts.  I know that it is hard, sometimes, to identify with something that is so far away.  Go to my Hurricane Katrina blog to keep up with what's happening locally. 

This one really scared us who are here on the Gulf Coast.   We stayed for the storm, too.  She blew us around at about a Category 1-2 strength in our area, with 12 foot storm surge.  But, if Katrina had hopped East by just 40 miles, our family would be one of those with a flattened house....and maybe worse.  Only four miles away from my home there are gutted houses along Mobile Bay. 

That's just too close for comfort. 

Do you ever get to a low point when things just keep going wrong?  Like on one of those days when everything bad is happening, until you finally say, "What's next?". 

Well, I'm having one of those years...

Last August, Tim lost his job in a very unexpected way when a fellow employee sent an email to the district level, just packed full of lies, because she was in trouble herself and wanted to divert attention.  Tim was fired by that district guy, who had never met Tim, didn't look at his past record of working at the company for over 3 years without a single blemish, and didn't ask Tim any questions.  Out of the blue, the district guy sent an email back to Tim's store, and he was fired.  It's one of those big employers that won't reverse a decision like that, so we were out of our sole income, just like that.

The day after he was fired, our insurance policies were cancelled by the company.  But we didn't receive notice of that for a while.

Only 2 weeks later, Hurricane Ivan hits, causing over $9,000 in damage to our home in Alabama and to our house in Florida that was ready for sale (we moved six months before to be closer to Tim's new job - he'd just been promoted).  It was a Category 4 storm and crippled our area to the point that it is still very much in disrepair, a year later. 

In April, a record flood causes our entire back yard to flood, flooding our neighbors' house but thankfully not ours.  We only lost our chicken coop and a chicken.  More stress and worry, but we were okay.

In June, Tropical Storms Arlene and Cindy arrives.  More preparations; more excitement and a little stress.  We're getting tired of these storms. 

In July, Hurricane Dennis arrives, causing $6,000 in damage to our Florida home, which had just gotten fixed and ready to put on the market again.

Now, Hurricane Katrina.

Along with all of that has been the little things....like late bills and flat tires (hurricanes cause that) and all the other things that go wrong, nagging at your psyche until you want to become a hermit and hide away. 

Of course, there have been countless blessings, and we have not starved or been naked in all this time.  Our babies are healthy, we are happily married, we have a home....

But I feel that Hurricane Katrina was a last straw of sorts.  I just feel so beaten down.  I think that's why I'm focusing on helping her victims and refugees.  For one thing, I can identify with them.  But for another, it helps me to not focus on me. 

It's been hard to be upbeat for the children, who really have no idea of what just happened.  It's hard to be upbeat for Tim, or for me. 

When things get this tough, we know logically that God is still there. 

But sometimes we just can't feel Him.     

by Lori Seaborg

Posted by MamaBugs

Maybe you can't feel Him because He is holding you so close you can't tell if it's Him or you!
{{Big Hugs}}

Posted by PatriciaWHunter

My daughter is a big barlowgirl fan. In case your children are too young for you to know who barlowgirl is, they are a Christian band composed of 3 homeschooled sisters. They have a song that describes what you are feeling called Never Alone. You can read the lyrics, if you care, here: http://barlowgirl.com/discography/lyrics/default.asp?songID=15 I hope you find comfort in knowing that others are praying for you. (((((Lori))))) Blessings, Patricia

Posted by Endoftheroad

You know whatI have found out? When we get tired and beaten then those of us who have come through our tired time need to pray... its our job... so while you all collect yourselves down there... some of us send food, some of us send money... some of us pray... because that is what we do....so.. collect yourselves... heal and know that there are some of us " standing in the gap" for you...
Lea

Posted by DaisyChain

Lori,
We've ourselves have just come out of 3-4 years of "everything" going wrong. I won't give you any pat answers -- just know I'm praying for you and do know how you're feeling.
JennMarie

Posted by underhiswings

1But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
2"When you pass through the waters, )I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
3"For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt as your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your place.
4"Since you are precious in My sight,
Since you are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in your place and other peoples in exchange for your life.
5"Do not fear, for I am with you;

7Everyone who is called by My name,
And whom I have created for My glory,
Whom I have formed, even whom I have made."
Israel Is God's Witness

8Bring out the people who are blind, even though they have eyes,
And the deaf, even though they have ears.

10"You are My witnesses," declares the LORD,
"And My servant whom I have chosen,
So that you may know and believe Me
And understand that I am He
Before Me there was no God formed,
And there will be none after Me.
11"I, even I, am the LORD,
And there is no savior besides Me.
12"It is I who have declared and saved and proclaimed,
And there was no strange god among you;
So you are My witnesses," declares the LORD,
"And I am God.
13"Even from eternity I am He,
And there is none who can deliver out of My hand;
I act and who can reverse it?" from Isa. 43

Lori, please know that even in the midst of all the tragedy, the LORD is there. This did not take Him by surprise. His is in control and I believe He has a purpose. I know that you feel battered and bruised. Keep your eyes on Him. He will come to vindicate His
people. He gives strength to the weary, but we must walk in His ways. Don't give up, dear sister. The Lord is your shade at your right hand.

Jenny

Posted by KarenW

Isaiah 43:1-2 But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Posted by drewsfamilytx

Oh dear Lori,

I am so sorry that you are dealing with such struggles this year! ((((((((hugs)))))))))

What a testimony you have-- through such crises that you are still relying on God and counting your blessings. God will take care of you and He WILL bless you for your heart and attitude!

Praying for God's strength, comfort, blessings and peace for your family...

Marsha

Posted by

Lori,
I had one of those years last year, it was just one major blow after another, but I can tell you, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I have never been as close to God, even when I felt that He might have abandoned me. He loves you more than you could ever imagine, Lori, and He will never-ever leave you. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. Just trust. That is all that you can do and rest in the peace that He will not let anything, but the very best thing for you, happen. Don't let the lies, that Satan wants to debilitate you with, gain any ground because YOU are a child of the King. What a precious comfort to know that no matter what depth of despair we reach, Jesus has been there, and He is there with you right now, full of endless compassion for you and Tim and your babies.
Gayle
P.S. Praise God for the encouragement from your sisters above. Wonderful Scripture, and I don't think it was a coincidence that they both had the same one for you!

Edited by thewestiecrew on Saturday, September 3, 2005 at 7:25 PM

Posted by DandelionSeeds

I, too, know what it feels like to be beat up... I've found myself asking several times... "so what next?" I take comfort in knowing someday the Lord will deliver us from our trials, and when that day arrives, I WILL share our story (and will have to be held back so I don't dance in the street naked! tee hee...) We have also been so blessed with six healthy children and each other, but sometimes it's so hard... I wrote in my blog about life just bringing you to your knees... then realized, maybe that's the point... you know... not that I've lost sight of God, but that when I REALLY cling to Him most, is when things are at their worst. Does He allow it because of this reason? I can't speak for you, but I know that I'm guilty of this so often.

I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, and as I've said, I can't give you details now, but I know what that feeling of helplessness is and wondering how you can make it another day. I pray for my husband's strength and wisdom daily so he can make it to tomorrow. May God bless you and your family, and may you find His peace. I will be praying for you.

In Him,
Amy

www.homeschoolblogger.com/DandelionSeeds

Posted by NCLighthouseKeeper

Lori
I hope you can find some small comfort in knowing that you have brothers & sisters in Christ praying specifically for you and your family.

Sometimes He calms the storms, and sometimes He calms the child.

(((HUGS)))
Beth

Posted by MrsCatherine

Adversity...it truly shows what you are made of doesn't it?! I wrote something not too long ago about that very thing. It is on my other blog...

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?tab=weblogs&user=MrsCatherine&uid=334302580

Last year when we got hit by the 3 hurricanes (we live in central Florida) we had the same strength hit us as you did with Katrina. We would get everything cleaned up then 3 weeks the 2nd one hit...clean up...3 weeks later...the 3rd one. It makes you wonder. Although we did not have the extensive damage you incurred with your home in Florida...it still takes the stuffing right out of ya!

I pray that God give you the answers you are looking for and the direction He wishes you and your hubby to take.

Love and God's Blessings,
Cat

Posted by JenIG

it's true. feelings are not our friends. i think it's harder, perhaps, for us ladies because we are more emotional; and when it *feels* like He's not there it can be especially hard not to waver. I am so with you, my friend....

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