Jul. 30, 2005
Marriage Praise Report
Posted in Marriage
What a beautiful morning here in Minnesota. The sun is shining and it is 84 degrees outside. Hugh is working his 2nd job this morning until 2 p.m. so Kaitlin and I are enjoying a relaxing morning together. I just have to tell you about something really neat that happened this week!
At the beginning of the week Hugh and I got into one of the worst arguments we have ever had in our marriage. It was a doozy and stemmed around the distance that has come between us. With him working 2 jobs, and me working 2 (one is paid and one isn't) we feel like two ships passing in the night sometimes. I know this is just for a season so we are okay with that. The part that caused trouble was his emotional detachment and coldness toward Kaitlin and I. It was so bad that I started crying because of the pain of being married and feeling more lonely than I have ever felt before. It has been a continual battle in my marriage . . .me wanting to spend quality time with hubby, and Hugh distancing himself. I aksed myself all the normal questions and really tried hard to ask the Lord what the root of it was, and bottom line is "sin nature." The sin nature in Hugh and the sin nature in me that triggers us to go into "selfish" mode.
Okay, so I am bearing my heart with you right now, not to make Hugh look like a bad guy, but to come to a really neat and powerful point that as wives to our husband's we can either build them up or tear them down, and many times we can be doing one of these without knowing. God tells us to share our testimony , and not be ashamed of the work & word of the Lord in us (2Tim 1:8).
So I get my Created To Be His Help Meet book out and start to read it. We are going to be starting a study on this book, at CHC (the Christian Homeschool Corner) next week (TBA). So I am on the first chapter and I start to understand how I have been taking the lead in our family and not allowing Hugh to do that.All this time I thought I was the submissive wife and obeying him, but in all reality I was conditionally submissive, and very untrusting of him (big revelation there for me). So I decided to put into action some of the things I learned in the 1st chapter.
Let me tell you . . Hugh responded highly to my efforts and now he has been calling me everyday to talk and will sit with me for hours talking and laughing. He even sent me flowers !!
I know it is the Lord! The fruits & flowers are already being seen, and it is not a manipulation technique but really a changing of the heart . We have had one of the best weeks together since I don't know when, and even though we haven't been able to see other very much, the time we do get together is beautiful now. I am praying this will stay the same. I am learning to keep my opinions to myself (unless they are requested) and allow him more freedom to enter into his role as leader of our home. Wow, I am so impressed and wanted to share that with you all. There is hope for our marriages and we don't have to live lonely being married anymore.
Whooohooo I can't wait to see what's next!!
<>< Kelly
Comments
Jul. 30, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by lovemygirls
Kelly, that is just wonderful!! It's a wonderful testimony, showing how God cares about EVERYTHING!! I know I'm going to regret not being able to participate in reading this book with everyone...But, it is for sure going on my list of books to purchase!! I pray God continues to bless your marriage and each one of you who will be participating in this study. Great things are going to happen!!
Love ya!
Heidi
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Jul. 30, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by dartwns
Kelly, Like I said, I have already read the book cover to cover, and started trying to change the way I do things where Rog is concerned. Just the little things make such a difference.....
I am looking so forward to our group study!!!!
~christa~
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Jul. 30, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Donnabooshay
Oh Kelly,
I am so encouraged by your post. I am co-leading a group of young Christian women using this book and I have felt so worried about it since all of the talk about the book here at homeschool blogger.
We saw an amazing change in one young woman in the first week too.
I do believe it was God doing the changing....and a teachable heart. But it was stunning.
I would say that your story is remarkable too!
I understand how lonely it can be (with a very busy hubby) but like you said it is for a time...and God is drawing you near to Him.
I thank God for your blessings this week!
Thank you so much for sharing,
Donna
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Jul. 30, 2005 - Amazing...
Posted by Lora
I never check blogs, then by chance I receive an email from Amy (through the freecycle site) who has a homeschool blog, who posted your site, and miracle of miracles, I am the only one home right now, so I was browsing. I have had a terrible day...and then complained to my husband, again, how he has worked six days a week for four years, and I am ready for that to change...please. He has heard it a hundred times before. I feel like I am carrying too much of the load. I usually don't realize this until I blow. And then I feel that he hardly communicates with me. I am a goal setting, have to plan and see progress, like things to change now and then, kind of person. I have been wanting to read the Pearl's book...but dare I say, I am scared to read it. I have long learned to not depend on a book to change my life, and sometimes the Pearl's comments don't settle with me, but I do like them. I think it is Amazing that I saw your comments on a day when I am feeling so defeated and down. Thank you for the site, and I hope I get a hold of this book. Lora
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Jul. 31, 2005 - Hi Mom!
Posted by
Hey mom, How are you doing today? Thanks for the advice that you gave me yesterday. Please leave me a comment sometime. I love you for ever and ever, Even more then that! I hope that me and Thomas will make your day the best. Hugs and kisses, your daughter Kaitlin P.S. I'll be happy to help you tomorrow get ready for Uncle Ronnie's stay.
Edited by KaitlinRose on Jul. 31, 2005 at 9:25 PM
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Aug. 1, 2005 - Hi Mom!
Posted by
Thanks for the note youleft me mom, I like it. Leave me a comment any time you want. I love you ! Did Thomes and I make your day the best? Leave me a comment on this soon. Your daughter Kaitlin, Bye!
Edited by KaitlinRose on Aug. 1, 2005 at 1:40 PM
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Aug. 2, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by Christin
Wow!! That is wonderful Kelly!!! Makes me want the book even more! Thank u for sharing your heart w/ us.
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Aug. 3, 2005 - Thank you!
Posted by Christin
Thank you so much for dropping me a line and giving me tips!! I truly appreciate it. =) I will definately be praying about this.
~Christin
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Aug. 3, 2005 - Untitled Comment
Posted by LaMereAcademy
Kel, just asked you a ? about scones at my blog. :)
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