Posted in Parenting

Last night was such a beautiful night for Kaitlin and I, although it didn't start out that way.  Initially I sent her to her room for having another series of  bad attitude's .  It is that same attitude that likes to rear it's ugly head from time to time. It seems this particular attitude is a recurring thing, so I could tell we hadn't quite got to the root of it yet, but were very close. 

Upon sending her to her room I asked her to write down all the ways she has been disrespecting Mom and Dad with her face, mouth, and body language.  Of course she complained about having to do the work and added a topping of whining and mean looks as she stomped up to her bedroom.  From what I have seen in other girls her age this is pretty predicatable behavior and normal, but I feel that as Kaitlin's mentor, it is my responsibility to address issues as they arise, and moreso issues that affect her relationship with God, others and that which hinders her character development.  This was one of those times when there was a real issue with her overall attitude, and it was affecting her countenance & spiritual disposition. 

Of course I analyzed what brought it all on, asked the Lord to reveal the root cause.  

So  Kaitlin goes to her room and is writing down (begrudgingly) all the ways she has been disrespecting Mom.  She wrote down 12 different things (which I was proud of her for doing) and when she was done, together we looked up each word in the dictionary. We had to build a foundation that will help her see ways she can combat this in the future. Once she was finished with her definitions, we talked about the opposite of each one.  For instance:  If she wrote down anger, then the opposite of that is "forgiveness and love."  For unkindness, we wrote down "kind" over it.  For disrespect we wrote "repect and honor."  We went through each one and I had her renounce the bad and declare God's character & word over that area. Proverbs 28:13 says, "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."

We didn't get past the first one (she recited a scripture) and all of a sudden she broke and out came genuine tears of remorse; I could tell they came right from her heart. We stopped and I held her for quite awhile and softly reassured her that she can let it all out and cry.  God's word is so powerful and it cuts through the walls of sin we build, and washes us clean when we are faithful to confess our sins.  One by one each wall broke down and I started to see my daughter come back to her sweet self again.  I felt a determiniation within me to walk through this with her and not just tell her what to do.  I know God is teaching me true mentoring and how to be that mentor for my daughter. I think about how many kiddos walk through life never knowing the freedom that confession and forgiveness can bring.  The threatening and forboding silence that happens between parents and children because children are allowed to keep going through life with built walls of sin that never get addressed, and keep building. 

One by one each brick must go, so that my daughter can truly enjoy the joys of living a set free life.  Looking at her after it was all done, and seeing the work that the Holy Spirit did was breathtaking!  She held me so tight and didn't want to let go.  She just wanted to sit and be loved, and love me back.  She looked up at me and I saw the light come back into her eyes -- the light of the Lord.  She wiped her tears and said to me. " Mom ya know how you watch an old TV show and it is all dark, and without color? I said yes, and then she added, "Well my mind was starting to become like that, really dark without brightness and color, but now I feel full of color right now again. It is like I am light as a feather!!"

I cried with her and reassured her that was the Lord washing her of her sins and bringing new life back into her again.Thank you Lord for your wisdom in helping my daughter relieve her conscience, confess her sin, and now walk into your new life.

John 8:36 "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed"

Today Kaitlin is so happy and jouful again.  Thank you Lord for you healing that comes through confession and forgiveness, and declaring your word over our lives - WHOOOOOHOOOO that is the good stuff right there!!

I know without a doubt that if we hadn't sat down last night and went through this together that my daughter's heart would have become hard again. I am a believer that true confession releases the soul from burden and sin.  James 5:16 "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed." God's word also says in I John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

An outward attitude is always a reflection of the heart.  Psalm 19:14 says it best. " May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." How much more should we teach and mentor our children to do the same. 

Happy Mentoring Today <>< Kelly