Posted in I AM Bible Study

~ CHPT. 2, LESSON 6 - West Side Of The Wilderness ~
Focus:Exodus 3:1-9;Acts 7:30-35

The quote below just resonated within my spirit, as it has been so much a part of my journey the last year. Lisa so eloquently (whether she realized it or not) put words to my hearts cry. WOW! I don't believe I am alone, because I also think this is the cry of many hearts:

"When I have endured long times of waiting, it has always been followed by a time of an intense encounter with the Lord where He lit a fire to have me recognize to some extent the reason I had to go through that trial. That fire was not only for illumination but also for rejuvenation and restoration depending on what my state of mind was at the time. I know our lives would be so much easier if God would just show up in our azaleas and tell us audibly what He would have us do. But you know, He did that for the Israelites and they doubted Him nonetheless. I'll take His written Word and Holy Spirit anyday. I can forget what a voice tells me. The power of it fades when hard times come however, I can never forget what a black and white word tells me day after day. What the Bible tells me is God loves mankind and He has chosen to reveal Himself to them through me and you. What will we do with that commissioning? God's deliverance will come! I pray we will be a willing instrument through which He brings it. Let it be, Lord. And let it be me.
~ Lisa (The Preacher's Wife)

Posted in I AM Bible Study

Let me begin by saying how very much this quote spoke "life" to me.  There are times when others will look at our lives and say, "Oh they are not being fruitful" or misjudge us, and we may even do that to others or ourselves, but truly understanding that each and every season God brings us through is vital to our walk with the Lord, not just the fruitful seasons, and in fact sometimes it is in the seasons of suffering which bring the most beautiful spiritual fruit into our lives. It is imperative we all understand how important it is to embrace each season. It is not about looking back at who you were, but about looking forward at who God is making you into, which is a deeper reflection of Him.  Really stop and think about that for a minute . . . very deep.

Posted in I AM Bible Study

Chapter 1, Lesson 4 (Part 2) ~
When Life Doesn't Work Out Like You Planned
Focus: Exodus 2:11-15; Acts 7:21-29; Hebrews 11:23-27

Lisa (Preacher's Wife) recommended a cute little personality test on her blog HERE .  My first response was a "circle", and then a "squiggle."  I tend to stay away from things that have hard edges (probably because I have a few myself - lol).  Anyway, check it out and see what it says about you:-)

Discussion Questions:

1. I am going to present to you a little acrostic to begin our discussion today. What is your latest NLIP? (Not Like I Planned?)

This is a very tender area for me right now, so I 'll refrain from the logistics.  Let's just say that a group of people I loved and was faithful to for many years turned on me and shunned me from their group.  I lost dear friends that I loved very much, who even now to this day will not talk to me or even discuss the matter.  It was like I never was in their life, and I was left all alone to carry the pain without any way for closure or resolve.

2. How did you react to your NLIP? Are you still upset about it? Happy about it? Baffled by it? Explain.

I am still very baffled by these women's responses, and to this day pray for reconciliation.  I have, however, come to a place of healing within myself because the Lord showed me early on in a time of deep trevail that even though these women may have deserted me, He has not left me nor forsaken me.  This was the part of the study that really touched my heart Lisa!  To know that Moses went through the same thing, and turned out to be one of God's personal friends is a blessing.  I yearn for that as well, that the Father will call me FRIEND, even if other's refuse my friendship :-)

3. Have you ever attempted to step into an area of ministry and found your desire rejected? Did this cause you to question God and yourself? Perhaps distrust what you perceived to be your calling?

After this situation happened I questioned everything!  My relationship with God, my ability to choose friends wisely, why I was so faithful to a group that really didn't care.  I went through a month of crazy disillusionment and heartbreak, until the Lord broke through and began the inner-healing of a lifetime.  I saw at that moment I had two choices:  was I going to seek vengeance and become embittered by these women, or was I going to walk in forgiveness.  So each day I would call out each name of the women who betrayed and shunned me and say, "I Forgive you (listing each one)."  Sometimes I would have to do that every day, and sometimes several times a day, until all I had was love and sorrow for these dear ones.  I began to pray for each one and bless them.  I know now that even though it still stings at times, that whenever the enemy throws their faces in front of me that I respond by saying, "I FORGIVE!"


4. Do you harbor any bitterness towards any individual or situation which you believe waylaid your best laid plans?

Answered in previous question.  I must add that it still hurts, but I choose to walk in forgiveness.  That is the hardest thing to do when you see injustice. I really have to resist bitterness.

5. Have you had a life experience or trial that left you with a shaken faith because it ended in an NLIP? Please share if you feel free.

Yes the one I just described above.

5. Based on Moses' response of faith to his own rejection, how will you re-evaluate your own experiences or look at future ones differently if a NLIP presents itself?

I know now to only see myself through God's eyes and not man's.  People are going to reject us, but all that matters is that we are right before the Lord, and in good standing before Him. Sometimes the very thing that people have against us is the very call that God has on our lives.  Boy do I know that now after what I just walked through a few months ago (whew). I also know that by allowing God to be our defender during times like what I just walked through is very important.  I am already seeing Him restore friendships in my life and bringing new, amazing women into my life for such a time as this.  He truly is God of restoration and healing!

I must admit this has been both an inspiring, comforting, confirming, and "ouchy" kind of study for me.  Ouchy because it hurts when we are rejected, and comforting to know God is in control and beckoning us ever closer to Him. His love is reaching, piercing and changing our hearts. Thank you for this study Lisa, whewy . . . that was a good ouch!  

Posted in I AM Bible Study

Chapter 1, Lesson 3 (Part 1) ~
When Life Doesn't Work Out Like You Planned
Focus: Exodus 2; Acts 7:21-28; Hebrews 11:23-29

Note To My Blog Readers:  Thanks for bearing with me while I complete this study.  It started back in January, so I have quite a bit of catching up to do.  I may be posting one each day till I get caught up. Thanks for your patience, and feel free to join the study with me . . . it is worth it. Simply click on the graphic above and it will take you there. 

My Answers To The Discussion Questions:

1. It was stated in the Lesson that God has made you "once, twice, three times a lady." Where are you in this progression? Obviously we have all been physically born, but are you 'twice a lady'? Have you been born again spiritually? This may be a private matter you'd like to discuss confidentially. If so, email me. If you have already received this gift, write a brief prayer of thanksgiving or testimony.

(The Short Version) I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was 7 years old, after a Dallas Holm concert.  However when I was a teenager I fell away from the Lord and began to "party" and hang around with the wrong crowd.  When my Dad's job transferred us to Dallas, Texas, from New York, that was when I re-dedicated my life to the Lord "fully" and turned from the party scene, and in fact ended up going to Bible College instead of secular college. I am so thankful for all that the Lord has done in my life since that re-dedication back in 1987.  I can only imagine where my life would be right now if I had taken the same path I was on as a teenager. I am sure a path of destruction.  Now, however I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who loves the Lord passionately, and we have a beautiful daughter who is faithfully serving the Lord.  It doesn't get much better than that :-)

I am passionate about women's ministry and seeing women fully come into  right relationship with one another, and with Christ, and walking in their gifts and callings in Christ Jesus.  Unfortunately my zeal and passion has been misplaced at times and I have compromised by lining up or coming alongside  ministries and organizations that did not have the same vision.  Ohhhhh, let me tell you it is SO important to line up with the right ministries, churches and organizations that have the same vision that God has given you in order to maximize your gifting and not tear it down!  I've been in places where I have tried to use my giftings and it ends up blowing up the place because I was in the right place, but knitted in leadership with the wrong people. God's timing is everything . . . I know I have said it before and I'll say it again. GOD'S TIMING IS EVERYTHING.  Don't make the mistake of being knitted with people who do not have the same vision as you do (division means di = two, visions). It is such a blessing to be in a great church right now and we are also working with a ministry here in the Twin Cities where our giftings are being maximized to their full potential, and will be traveling soon (as the Lord permits).  We finally feel like we are in the right places at the right time, and in the center of God's will. I can't tell you how great that feels !! :-). Thank you Lord!

3. Do you ever get tired of waiting for that opportunity to do something worthwhile for God? Do you ever feel God is using someone else instead of you?

Let me tell you . . . like being a horse standing in the gate, just waiting for that gate to open is how I have felt for the past ten years, but with all things certain steps have to be taken first in preparation.  We have had our time of separation or "called out" for awhile now where it has been very quiet and just us and the Lord.  This time has been so important, and we know the foundation has to be firm and solid, and that is why we haven't "bucked" the process, although it has been hard.  I am VERY much a people-person and find great joy from being around others, but God has had to take me down a notch and get me to a quiet place where I can fully hear his voice and follow it, without vearing, so it has felt very lonely at times.  However I feel it coming . . . we are almost there . . . and soon the floodgates will open. WHOOHOOO.  To God be the glory! 

4. What do you consider 'worthwhile ministry'? Are you like me and sometimes find yourself mistakenly thinking it has to be Big to be Important?

For us it is all about the Kingdom of God, and when I say that I mean it!  We have left our family, close friends, and incredible support system in Texas to follow the Lord's plan for our lives.  Here we are in Minnesota with very few close friends, just went through a terrible shunning from three dear friends, and Hubby lost his job, yet in the middle of all of that we have grown closer to our Savior and see now that it isn't about quantity, but about quality!  I used to think I had to have many friends to feel confident about myself, but now I see if I have one true covenant person in my life that is holding me accountable to God's word, and allowing me to to do the same for them, then I am VERY blessed.  Worthwhile ministry to me is when you are with the right poeople at the right time and God's Holy Spirit is manifested and people are healed, delivered, set free and brought into a greater understanding of their purpose and divine calling here on earth and in the Kingdom of God.  I don't have time any more  for the superficial!  It's about being about our Father's business, and that means one person at a time.  

5. Have you ever taken a spiritual gifts test? If yes, what are yours? If no, here's a good one from Ephesians 4 Ministry. Will you take it and come back with a response? Knowing some of you like I already do, I can almost pick out what your gift is before you say it. I can't wait to see if I'm right!

I took the test and it said my dominant gifts are Pastor/Shepherd (20); Mercy, Evangelism and Prophecy were next with the same score of (15). About 12 years ago I took one of these test and it said my main gift was Administration, so I think we've changed quite a bit since then. Good to know God has been working on us :-).

Thank you for these words Lisa (The Preacher's Wife): "You girls are so wonderful and I look forward to your insights into this Lesson. Please know I pray for those of you whom I know are participating online and for those who are following along privately. I have never been so convinced that God is at work in the lives of women. He wants to give us Canaan...will we run towards it or continue longing for Egypt? Here is the Good News..You are one step closer to the Promised Land...you've come to far to turn back now! Hang in there! amen and amen again.

Posted in I AM Bible Study

Here are my responses from this weeks lesson:

• What is your initial response when anyone suggests you are beautiful?
• It is funny because just a few days ago I was posting about one of my closest friends, Alisa, and how we met back in 1990 (HERE). One of the things she first said to me was how beautiful she thought I was.  My response was, "Of course this caught me off-guard and I nearly spit my food out.  I have never considered myself anywhere close to being a beauty so this statement brought a bit of a shock to me."  I find it very interesting that this subject should be brought up right now . 

• Do you find you engage in a lot of negative 'self-talk'? How much of your thought life does this form of thinking consume?
• I used to think pretty negatively about myself, because I have red hair, freckles and very fair skin (which means no tanning), and I have never really truly felt like I fit in with society as a whole, but as I've grown into adulthood it feels great to have my own identity apart from everyone else.  I think I am finally getting comfy in my own skin, even though others may not be as comfy being around me.
  
• Has it ever occurred to you that you are a City Girl? How do you plan to use this knowledge?
• I think my realization of being a city girl is more evident when I try and go camping.  Boy do I feel like a square peg in a round hole (lol).  In all seriousness though . . . as the Lord reveals more of this area to me I am amazed at how differently I am starting to see myself and the giftings He has given me. I am truly humbled, and yet honored at the same time. God has a way of doing that to us :-)
  
• In what ways has your view of Godly beauty changed as a result of these Scriptures?
  I don't think my view has changed necessarily just through this study and these particular passages, however it has been a bit of a metamorphosis through the years. God's word continually works on our hearts, peeling away the layers, and exposing those areas of our lives which need more of His truth.  I think for women in general this is an area of great vulnerability, and one that needs the most work because of the plethora of bombardments we get each day from the media and society depictingtheir paradigm (which is full of lies by the way), of how we are supposed to be.  The more of Christ that is formed within us, the more radiantly beautiful we will be!  That is the emphasis of this study, and that is what will be the basis of my prayer . . . Lord may more of YOU be manifested within me.  MORE of your goodness, mercy, faithfulness, kindness, self-control, love, joy, peace, patience.  More of YOU LORD . . . LESS ME. 

Thank you Lisa (The Preacher's Wife) for this synopsis: "I pray when we look in the mirror, we will learn to see what God sees and love who He loves. Hear me well - You Are Beautiful!! You will act out what you believe - Let the world see your 'City Girl!' :)" - amen and amen

Posted in I AM Bible Study

I love this quote by Lisa regarding this study, and it registered STRONG in my spirit when I first read it:

"When God asks us to do something on His behalf, He is enough to accomplish the desired end. He delights in our 'yes' and how that spreads His fame. I want to be a girl with a 'yes' in my Spirit - don't you? When we can exchange God's I AM for our Am Nots, we'll proclaim as David, "With your help I can advance against a troop, with my God I can scale a wall." (Psalm 18:29) The most important thing I've learned? Unless the circumstances are dire, unless the situation hopeless, unless the task impossible, God is not assured the glory when the miraculous happens. He is still a God of Wonders. What a thrill when He asks us to hold the staff."

Are there any circumstances or relationships in your life where you can see God has intentionally placed you to be a light for Him? 

Yes, absolutely and sometimes when least expected.

Can you honestly describe yourself as a woman with a 'yes' in her spirit?

YES!  Wholeheartedly YES

Are you in an emotionally and spiritually healthy place today? If so, what will you do with your series of unrecurring events? Will you commit to ask for spiritual eyes to see opportunities to defend a weaker sister? 

I can honestly say I  am in an emotionally and spiritually VERY healthy place today, although three months ago I would have told you differently.  I recently walked through the hardest experience I have ever been through (and let me tell you I've been through some doozies in my day - lol), but as I humbly submitted myself to the Lord during that time, and didn't seek vengeance,  I saw Him become my defender, ROCK, refuge and provider in miraculous ways.  I am a person who is adamantly opposed to injustice, and when I see it happening, especially to women I love and have covenant relationship with, I am like a Mama Bear ready to fight for her cubs.  I've realized the best way to defend a weaker sister is to stand with her in prayer, and be patient for God's timing, command and orders, and be willing to walk with her through her journey.  To be out of God's timing, even when dealing with injustice can do more damage than wanted, and I've found that even good intentions can kill you!  We must wait patiently for God's timing and Defense.  He is our Defender!

If no, are you taking steps to seek out wise counsel from a sister you admire or perhaps a Christian counselor if needed? If not, will you resolve to do so?

I am a firm believer in having Godly counsel around us, and firm accountability.  Unfortunately there have been times when we have had the wrong people around us for counsel, and their counsel brought us into grave danger, and left us out there on our own without any support or help. Because of that we no longer just submit ourselves to anyone.  We are careful to pray specifically now that God brings the right counsel for us at the right time, and in the meantime we stay very "covered" under our spiritual Father and Mother's counsel, and in the word of God, and Christ as our leader. As it says in Col. 1:18 "He is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things HE might have the preeminence."   Christ should always be our main counsel, but also having good mentors is a MUST. Our mentors and counsel  have been tried and tested and have walked with us through many a fire.  We know we can trust them to give us Godly counsel, and even chastisement when necessary.  However, they are firm that when they are exhorting us that they walk through it with us and not just walk away to leave us in our pain.  That is a true mentor - one who is willing to walk through the fire with you and see you to the other side. That is the kind of mentor I want to be for other sisters in Christ, and especially for my daughter.