As some of you know, I work part-time outside the home. Recently, though, I cut my hours from 30 down to 24.5 due to some family scheduling issues. Although it is a financial sacrifice, it's worth it to us to have the time together. Folks I work with, though, were less than pleased because it meant  would be leaving early on our busiest day - Friday. Ooh, the thunderclouds were thick this morning. I must confess, though, that they were thinner than expected due to the peanut butter cookies I took in to soften the blow. Yes, I resorted to bribery.

When I sat down at my desk, I was in the best mood! I actually got up on time - and remembered to bring the aforementioned bribe. When someone asked who'd brought the treats, I said I did. Then I made an entirely true statement: "I made these yesterday when I got home early. I know y'all would be busy, so I made them with you in mind and prayed for you as I did so." The response? "We'd rather have had you here." sigh

I feel a lot of ambivalence toward me because of my choice to remain at home as much as possible, and I don't understand why. DH says a certain amount of it is jealousy - I can see that. I think they're convinced that I come home and eat bon-bons, have pedicures and sit by my private pool while being fanned by Paco the Pool Boy while they're being inconvenienced. That I laugh to myself as I take my afternoon nap and they are stuck in the office. Now if all that were true - I probably would never admit it to them! But, of course, it isn't. Any homeschooling family knows that it is taking on an extra job. A fun one most of the time - but a job nonetheless. We have all had our moments/days/weeks/months of questioning our own motives and abilities. There are days when I just want hyper-kid to take a breath so there can be 5.3 seconds of quiet. That's normal, and I accept that, and I absolutely don't dare complain because I've been so very blessed.

I think what it all comes down to it, it is a matter of contentment. There are days when my desire for a homestead is almost palpable. There are days that I wonder what on earth I'm doing. But deep down, under it all, I've been blessed with contentment. I never knew how utterly freeing that is until recently. And that contentment has a way of just bubbling to the surface!

It is my prayer that, whatever road they take in life, my co-workers will find peace and contentment. That they will realize that I've made the choices I've made out of a desire to be where God wants me to be. And that they will come to that same point in their lives. Despite petty quarrels and differences, despite prickles and jabs I have come to love each and every one of them. I hope God's best for them - whether it's convenient for me or not.

Especially ones this yummy and simple to make? Here's the recipe for the world's easiest Peanut Butter Cookies:

Combine 1 can Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk and 3/4 cup peanut butter.

Stir in 2 cups Bisquick and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Mixture will be very stiff...so will your arm after combining well. Roll into 1-1.5" balls. Roll ball in sugar and place on baking sheet. Mark with crosshatch pattern using a fork and bake at 375 for 7 minutes.

Be careful! Bottoms (of cookies) will caramelize quickly. Bottoms (of eaters) will expand exponentially!

And yes, I just happen to have a pic OF THE COOKIES of course:

Even this early in your reading, you're nodding - aren't you?! Because you just know who "He" is. And, like me, you "know" He's there. Right? Right.

Of course, there are times when "He" seems elusive, withdrawn, and all too trusting of our own faith in Him. Are you confused yet? Allow me to explain.

I've loved this site since I found it. I enjoy blogging and feeling the warm, cozy "atmosphere" of kindred spirits. But something happened in our lives that was so very difficult to entrust to the Master that I stopped writing altogether. Stopped creating. Stopped laughing. Had thoughts of stopping being. You see, our son was injured by another - a teenager who didn't resist when his sin nature came calling. The price was our child's innocence. And though I thought I had healed, I couldn't see "Him" nearby. Couldn't see how He could possibly be working in our lives.

Life got easier, smiling became less rare and one day recently I stopped by my blog. It was at that moment I noticed something. Look at the header closely. I'm a graphic designer and created it to look like flannel. I liked it enough that  just felt it was done. It's not beautiful by any stretch, but it just seemed so complete. Now look at the avatar (about me) picture. As you can see, it is nothing more than a snippet from the header. Do you see it? Can you see the face? I didn't put it there. Really, I didn't. I just noticed it - plain as day. There's that face. It was there all the time. I just didn't see it.

I've found that my soul profits much when I take time to make something...this is for a lovely friend who collects birdhouses. It's not much, but I enjoyed painting it.

Thanks to a concerted effort to deepen my walk with the Lord, most of my days are filled with emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. My newly instituted morning walk with worship music cranked has been beneficial to both body and soul and I can now report a total of 80 pounds lost and immeasurable peace gained. There's still a lot of work to be done on both but I have a fantastic Master Builder who's never let me down. Can you say the same? If you don't know Him, I would be glad to introduce you. Just contact me!

One day, in particular, was marked with extreme sorrow. On Tuesday, February 28, I received 3 bits of bad news:

The first - a friend and co-worker who is bravely fighting liver cancer was told it had metastisized to the bones. The next day though, a sheepish physician called her back and reported that the spots he'd seen in the bones were none other than . . . osteo-arthritis. Praise the Lord for He is great and worthy to be praised!

The second - a dear lifelong friend/father figure/mentor passed away at the age of 56. It was a rather crushing blow to everyone. You see, to know P was to love him. What a wonderful, Godly man he was! How he cared for his family and spread the love of God! A truly gifted musician, he was often heard to say, "I'm so glad to have been saved - but let me tell you about the day I was SANCTIFIED!" I remember that day. In fact, no one who was there could ever forget it. Most certainly not P! He could quote the sermon, scripture and the whole nine yards. He'd been saved at a young age, but lived mostly for himself. That day, a new man was born right before my eyes. He literally became God's instrument overnight. What a stunning difference it was! God did a mighty work in P's life that day, and every day thereafter. He leaves behind a family of the most wonderful people one could ever imagine. A beautiful wife, daughters, 'sons', and grandchildren. All of whom have dedicated their hearts and lives to God's work...some in the secular world and some on the mission field. What a legacy he leaves behind! I loved him so, and will miss him greatly BUT Praise the Lord, for He is great and worthy to be praised. Stated with a still-aching heart, but meant just as much.

And the third. Things WILL seem to happen in threes, won't they?! My precious mother may have cancer that has metastisized to the bones. The doctor said it looks as though she has cancer and that it has already spread. I asked for a percentage of certainty and he gave me 95%. *sigh* Please keep her, the doctors, and family in your prayers. And yes, I'll say it with tear-filled eyes and an aching heart, but "Praise the Lord! for He is great and greatly to be praised!" So nice to be able to say that even when your heart is breaking.

On the home(school) front, darling son is READING! Pretty well! He was a late starter, but thanks to Horizons Phonics and his "Legend of Zelda - the Four Sword Adventure" gamecube game, he's making great strides!! I know, please don't lecture me about the brain-rotting effects of video games. For now, it's really great for him. The dialogue the characters use is proper English and grammatically correct. It grabs and holds his attention and seems a lot more like fun than work. We're already working on fostering a love of books, but had to really grab his attention first. Not to mention the logical thinking skills he has gained solving the puzzles, mazes and the like built into the game. I actually enjoy it as well! ... Now if I could just find a way to justify the 15 minutes a day of the SpongeBob game.