As you may know, my husband is a Youth Pastor. I help whereever I can. We see so many kids come in and out of our group who have never lifted a finger at home. And it shows. As parents we sometimes feel bad about asking our children to help around the house. There are many reasons for this:

1. We'd rather be the martyrs
   
2. They can't do as good a job as us
3. We hated work as a child, and we want them to have a fun childhood
4. Other people don't make their kids work
5. The {insert media appliance} keeps them busy and out of our hair

But the truth is that these reasons just don't hold up if we think a little deeper and discover our hidden vision for our families. I had to do this. I thought: if I could only teach my child(ren) one thing, what would it be? Then: If I could teach them one more thing, what would that be? I kept adding until I had a top 10 list of my goals for my family. And guess what? Helping my child to become a Playstation Genius wasn't on that list. Helping them to become responsible, successful adults was WAY up there.

By training them now (notice I didn't say teaching. There's a difference. Teaching is something you try to drill into their heads. Training is showing them, taking them step by step, allowing them to internalize) you are creating habits. Habits are things you do without having to think about them. Having to think about cleaning is a time-waster. Having to tell yourself to put something away means that you won't do it half the time. That's half your stuff making a mess.

I don't want my kids to struggle with keeping a home "huggable" as the FlyLady puts it. I want them to have the advantage of the cleaning skill. And it is a skill. A learned skill. My mom worked, and she felt overwhelmed quite a lot with housework. We would have frenzied marathon cleaning sessions. We were taught to do our chores ... when we were told or yelled at to do them. I brought that method into my own home. I'm not naturally inclined to clean all the time. Lord knows there are women out there who are! I know a few. They amaze me. But then they tell me I amaze them with my ability to have peace in the midst of chaos. :-) It is an effort for me to clean. I wish I was in the habit of hanging up my towel after a shower, for instance. I want my children to build those kinds of habits that HELP them. 

Your child is ready for chores at as early an age as they can pick up things, sort things, hold things. There really isn't a perfect age for any given chore. My twins were two years old when they began helping mommy with laundry. They love to sit on the dryer and toss the clothes I hand them into the washer. This alleviates a step  for me. So I count it. My six year old has done trash, dishes, laundry, room pickups, wipe counters, toilets, and sweeping. I consider him old enough  to help his brother clean their room. Of course, I had to train him in this. I would go through the room with him, showing him how to start and finish.

This is important because I did not yell at him and close him in only to feel overwhelmed. We broke it down into manageable bites. I'll write another article on how I did this. The point is once we train them and allow them to be involved, perhaps relax our own standards just a little, it causes them to internalize the VALUE of a clean room.

I am constantly telling my kids that we are a team. We work together. Our home runs smoothly when we are all serving one another. This is NOT child labor abuse. This is sewing good seed into your growing child. They will have better lives because of these small steps started today!

Look around and see what your child can do to feel more involved in your household chores. I don't suggest you start shipping them into shape overnight. I recommend that you have a family meeting.  Apologize for not thinking they were capable, and  explain to them what will be expected. Also, explain to them that they will not be left alone here - that you will be by their side showing them each step. You may have to tell them you can learn together!  Finally, share with them the vision you have for your family and for their future. You're doing this to help their lives - let 'em know it!

One final tip I have: There will be times when they complain about working. I suggest you go to the scripture. Philippians 2:14 says, "Do all things without murmurings and disputings" Then I would add work with every complaint explaining that they will keep working until they do it with a good attitude. It works for us. The complaining ends quickly!

For more articles on training your child(ren) visit Large Family Resource

We ended our first baseball season this last Saturday. The boys both played on different teams, in different "leagues". Carly opted out this year. She regretted it. The program at the YMCA is so great. It's non-competitive which I was always sort of against. Now, however, I see that it is a great way to get your feet wet in a sport. You can learn and grow in that sport and build your confidence in the process. I think we will find a competitive community league later for Cam at least. He's pretty good. I think he'd enjoy winning and losing too.

Andrew was excited about baseball, but he just stood out there. He never went for the ball, but he learned alot. I think they learn good sportsmanship as well.

The disheartening part of it was that there were some bratty kids on Cam's team. Nine year olds playing the "I'm too cool for you" thing. Cam immediately made friends with the over-weight outsider. He was a darling Christian boy. I'm proud of my little "nerd". He didn't let any of those kids get to him. I must confess to a bias against kids who like to exclude. I know they're just little kids, but that's how I feel.

Anyway, it was an overall great experience and one we will repeat. Here's a picture of the kids right before their big trophy game. We took them to BK for breakfast.

Here's one of the boys we took out at the fields after the game.

Has anyone used A2 or A-squared curriculum at www.hstreasures.com? It's sort of like the Robinson Curriculum found at www.robinsoncurriculum.com. As many of you know, I've used Amblesideonline.com, and I liked it, but ...

Well, I caught up on some reading about and from Charlotte Mason, and I really do like her philosophies. I found I wasn't implementing them correctly with my kids when the Amblesideonline experiment failed. I wasn't requiring the narration. I was just requiring the reading. These lessons were sort of wasted. The kids, I'm sure, felt there was no purpose to those readings, and the books were tough! I also had the impression that Charlotte wanted nothing more than 15 minute lessons in every subject. This, I found, wasn't true. She worked out of a workbook for math, and that would often take 30 minutes. I feel strongly about stretching my kids' attention spans and taking some real time on some subjects. So that was a relief to me. I don't have to abandon my CM leanings.

I like the Robinson's perspective in that there is a heavy emphasis on self-teaching and scientific reasoning without abandoning faith. However, A2 professes a better quality product, more texts, just 1 cd, and a much better price tag.

The only drawback I have heard from those who have tried it is their reluctance to print out books or read on the PC. I have no problem printing out books. We did it extensively with Amblesideonline. I like it because I don't have to go searching for the books I'm gonna use. They are cheaper than purchasing (about $3 per book). They can be written in, spilled on, taken anywhere, and each child can have their own copy.

So, I'm looking for anyone who has had experience with either Robinson or A2 to get some more feedback. I'd especially like to hear from someone who didn't like it for any reason other than printing out the books.

Thanks in advance!

I'm on this computer alot. I majored in Information Systems. It's a hobby for sure. So, I'm always running across great resources for all my interests, especially homeschooling. I thought I'd share a few that some of you may not be aware of. (yeah, I know. Don't end a sentence with a preposition. I hate that rule). If you've heard of thes, please forgive.

1. MOTH. That sounds wierd doesn't it. It's an ackronym for Managers of Their Homes. You can find it at www.titus2.com. It's awesome for helping you schedule your any-sized homeschooling family. It sits next to my Bible in importance right now.

2. Homeschool.com introduces Mindstein Travel Kidsafe Browser. It is REALLY cool and offers totally safe online activities for your homeschooler. All ages will enjoy the email, chat, games, surfing, learning, talking professor, and more. It is also completely customizable for each child. I thought the price was right too. Check it out at www.homeschool.com. I think if you go to the Mindstein through them, you get some sort of deal. I signed up for monthly access so that I could check it out.

My kids are looking for other homeschoolers around their ages to chat and swap emails with too. I won't post their spam-free, safe email addresses here, but you can email me at jdriller@gmail.com for more info.

I got a comment on my schedule that asks when I do my housework, cuz it's not on there. That is a great question. I don't know when I do it. I sort of do it all day long while I'm doing other stuff. I do have a cleaning lady come in on Mondays for $50. We get $50/week for youth pastoring, and this covers it. It's such a big help, though it seems to get messy that afternoon. The main thing is that the tubs and toilets and surfaces get attention every week.

 There are some chores I don't have to do - like put dishes away, clean living room or kids' bedrooms or schoolroom. So I clean the kitchen before and after meals. I do laundry throughout the day (though Cameron does a load a day, so if I don't get it done it still gets worked on). I do general pickup all day long as I walk by stuff. If I have a big cleaning task I just do it when I the spirit moves, so to speak. Like I had to clean out and organize our craft room. It took all day on a Saturday. I did the same thing with the kids when it was time to organize the schoolroom. We worked together until it was done. On those days we take special privileges like no school or no other chores or extra screen time or lunch out.

I just don't do well for myself when I schedule housework specifically. I'm not saying my way is best. I'm not even sure it's working for me. Without the cleaning lady I'm sure I'd need to adjust the schedule again to include weekly chores, but then I'd just do them during the free and chore times.

Note: I really hate cleaning. When Pastor told me that being the manager of my home and children didn't mean I had to do everything, he was talking about me being free to send my kdis to public school. I decided that if I was going to delegate, I was going to pass out the assignments I really didn't want to do. Hence, the cleaning lady. She's such a blessing. We have a large house, so I know she's giving me a break on the rate. It doesn't look like a hotel room when she's done, but every room in the house gets cleaned.

Hahahaha. So THAT's how I do it.

Okay, so I recognize that my family needs a general schedule to go by. I love www.titus2.com. It has been a big help in discovering HOW to schedule a large family. I haven't purchased the manual yet. That's next. But this is what I have come up with just looking at the many examples they have on their site.

By putting the "creative" stuff in the afternoon, I allow for changes or just plain tirednes. If we don't get to that part of homeschoolig, I'm okay. We get the bulk of all our stuff done in the morning when everyone is fresh. The afternoon usually is more free time than anything else. I'm hoping to incorporate creative learning with that free time.

I still need a plan to help my son control his screen time. He hardly knows what to do with himself without the Playstation or the PC or the television. Right now I've limited screen time to two hours a day, so if they want to watch a movie, that's it. But it's difficult to keep track of who's got how much time left, etc. And they want to know by the minute! I don't really like this system because it encourages them to follow the letter of the law and be slaves to it. I want a system that helps them control themselves with the heart of the matter. I'll let you know when I discover it.

As for the schedule, I was set free to discover that I didn't have to follow it 100% everyday without being a failure. It's a guideline to help keep us focused.

In April we took a nice little weekend trip to Knoxville. We had such a good time. Staying in a hotel is such a nice break in an of itself, but we also visited the zoo, art museum, candie factory, downtown Knoxville, and the Olive Garden restaurant. Plus the hotel had a pool. Yay. It was our first "vacation" with all five kids. And we felt so proud to have pulled it off successfully. The kids kept saying it was the best weekend ever (of course, they say that for ever new adventure. I love that about them).

In case you don't know already, the Knoxville Zoo is pretty awesome! It has got some GREAT exhibits. Their new Black Bear exhibit is just WAY cool. We took lots of pictures of the rhinos. The kids seemed to like them the best. Maybe it's because they are so funny looking. The zoo had a really cool place for little kids to play, so we spent quite a bit of time there. That really helped with the babies who could only take so much stroller riding.

Anyway, we had such a great time re-connecting with Dad (Dennis doesn't get much time off from work). Somehow the money didn't run out, and we were financially fine when we got back too. :-)

We are blessed.

The rhino. Rhino "butts" are funny to kids.

Not sure you can see the bear from here.

In the hotel, getting ready for the pool.

Downtown Knoxville after the Candie Factory.

My babies just turned two years old on May 7th. It's amazing. They are still SO small - just a little over 20 pounds. I stopped looking because it bothers me a little. Their development is right on. In fact, it's on target for their actual birth date not just their adjusted age as preemies. They graduated from Bed Babies to the Toddler class at church, and they are LOVING it.

We had a big family party last night. Those things can be such a pain. But it was nice all the same. The girls got a ton of pretty clothes from their grandparents. Here are updated pictures.

Oh yeah, we also got a pug puppy several weeks ago. Her name is Dolly, and she is so awesome. We love her like she was our newest baby. :-) I'll post pics of her too.

Okay, I think I figured out what happened to send me into panic mode with regards to homeschooling my five children. It was really a series of unfortunate events, and the insight may help someone else. I'm going to put them into list form to help my brain sort it out.

1. I didn't have a clear vision for why I was homeschooling. I had a whole list of reasons, but some of them were really just someone else's reasons. I needed to single out the ONE reason that motivated me. Mine is that we're in this for the character. I kept trying to add a classical education, but I fell short on those ideals because a genius education would be nice, but it's not my motivation. I let go of some standards that really didn't belong to me.

2. I didn't have enough of a sense of worth in my own decisions. I grew up doing everything well in a small group of people. The accolades set me up for a lifestyle of approval addiction. I took this attitude into my counselling session with my pastor. He never homeschooled, so we pretty much missed each other. His advice was awesome, but some of it added pressure to me because of my own insecurities. What usually works for me is for the pressure to be released. I tend to revert to over-achiever in some areas. He was trying to relieve the pressure by saying it's okay to put them in school. I just needed the imaginary pressure removed. Do you get it?

3. I really wasn't getting out much. We joined the "Y". The boys are now in baseball. Carly is in swim lessons. The twins are growing out of some of their fussiness. The weather is turning nice, so we're out more. This is my weakest area, so I am making a better effort to get involved with the community.

4. I perceived expectations from my husband that he simply didn't have. He understands that laundry may be piled up a little in a busy homeschooling home. I thought I wasn't doing a good enough job. He never felt that way.

5. I wasn't just enjoying my kids.

6. I was focusing on the weeds in my life. We need to fasten our eyes to the righteousness that is ours through Christ as opposed to the characteristics of the "old man". This is renewing our minds. This is putting on the mind of Christ. This is seeing ourselves like God sees us. I tell the teens it's seeing people (and ourselves) with God goggles. I knew it, I just wasn't doing it. When we stare at the sin, we are drawn in by it, and it actualy produces the thing you are trying to avoid. Afterall, you hit the target you are focused on. I was made righteous. I didn't deserve it, but while I was yet a sinner, Christ died for me. He already paid for my failures, now I need to walk in that righteousness, not by trying harder ,but by believing what God said about me. By believing that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in me.

So, I'm pretty secure in our calling to homeschool. I feel confidence rising up in me to defend that position if need be. I feel confident that even if the children complain, I know what's best for them, and this IS the best. I'm renewing my mind that it doesn't matter who agrees or understands or approves. I'm not talking rebellion here, I hope that's understood. I'm talking about an inner struggle with self.

So, I'm planning and praying for next year. I'm open to Christian school as an option, but it's gonna take some major God-type stuff to provide the tuition. So, if He doesn't do anything about it, I'm gonna just keep doing what I'm doing. I really think we'll just be doing this for good.

Since my last blog, I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying. Then we took the youth group to Acquire the Fire. It's a Teen Mania ministry from Ron Luce (http://www.acquirethefire.com). We go every year, and it's always awesome. This year was so striking to me. We heard some disturbing statistics, and we really had our hearts pierced with the revelation of how strongly the world fights for the hearts and minds of our teens. I knew it, but I didn't know it. You know? For instance, Viacom owns Nickelodean and MTV and tons of other channels. Their owners have instituted a "cradle to the grave" philosophy of getting people hooked on their ideas of what's cool, so that they can bid for those advertising dollars AND the growing wallets of our teenagers. This generation of students will be the largest and the wealthiest generation the world has ever seen. At the current rate of evangelism, it is projected that in 10-15 years only 4% will be Bible-believing Christians. That's in comparison to the 35% of today.

Can you say, wake up call? Now, we are not hopeless, and we know that the battle has already been won. However, it spurs a desire to take the great commission more seriously. We are implementing that calling into our youth services.

A by-product of that has been my renewed calling to homeschooling. My husband is really onboard as well. We know public school is NOT an option for us. Why would I throw my kids to the wolves? Until they have developed their character and integrity, how can I ask them to fend off ideas, philosophies and attitudes that are contrary to those? It reminds me of WWII when Germany began sending boys up in planes to fight off the enemy. That's what it would boil down to if I sent them off.

So, I took some great advice from some of my commenters. I ordered those cds from www.familymanweb.com. They were awesome. Just what I needed to hear. I highly recommend them. I also implemented my schedule from tips off the www.titus2.com site. I love that site. I scaled down my schedule so that it was not quite so detailed. This has been a BIG help. I will post it in a later blog.

I also defined WHY I'm doing this. It's for their character. And with that in mind, we're doing GREAT! My kids are awesome! They are diligent, obedient, gentle, mannerly, fun, appreciative, honest, and intelligent.

From a scholarly standpoint, they are really just using those Walmart/Sam's Club workbooks. They like them; they're almost finished with them; they're pretty well on the mark for their grade.

Well, this is getting long, and I'm afraid of losing it before finishing it, so I will cover what sent me into panic mode later. I SOOO appreciate all of your comments and support. You were gracious and encouraging. Thank you.

Boy, I hate this feeling, but I am so confused about homeschooling. I wish I could just feel confident about our decision and stick with it. But I'm struggling. I think homeschooling is the best option for my kids, however, if I'm not implementing the things that make it great then it's just staying home. The advise I'm getting from my pastor is that I need structure in my home. I think that means a general schedule so my kids know when to expect things. I created one. It's great, but we have such a hard time sticking to it. Sometimes I find my creative personality cannot adhere to a schedule. That's one of the reasons I don't want to put them in school. I hated the rushed, frantic mornings trying to get there ontime and having to wake my babies from their nap to go pick them up in the afternoon.

Help me! I'm lost. We found a good Christian school which is really small and lines up with our faith. My husband and I both graduated from Christian schools and have fond memories. It sounds great, but it'll be $750 a month for 10 months to send all three of my kids there. My youngest son goes to kindergarten next year. He has listening issues. I'd like to send him somewhere for kindergarten. I did with the others and it helped get them reading and learning some of that structure.

Plus I am so lost at how to homeschool three children - 5, 7, and 9. My 9 year old is pretty good about working independently (of course, I have to stay on him or he'll wander to the video games). But my younger two demand almost constant teaching. Carly, my 2nd grader, has so many gaps in her learning, I'm feeling disgraced almost. I know all you unschoolers out there are thinking, it doesn't matter, but it does matter to me. I need to see progress. I need measurement. I'm thinking if I'm gonna continue this, I'm gonna need a structured curriculum that cover the basics then I can implement my creative ideas on those days when I'm up to it or the babies are cooperating or the house doesn't need my attention or I don't have a million errands.

Another thing is that we don't go places. We don't do things with other groups. I cannot find a group that is condusive to bringing to two 2-year old twins. I don't have a babysitter during the school year. I can't just drop off one or two of the kids to the functions. We have church, and that's great, but other than that I feel like we're in a vacuum, a cave. There are no other homeschoolers in our church either, so I'm very isolated. We're Youth Pastors, and I have a calling into music ministry as well. I don't want my family to be an excuse for not following my call, but I also feel my first calling is to my family. I mean how stupid would it be to help other people's kids and lose my own.

Should I just have fun with this homeschooling thing? Or do we need the structure and integrity of definitive schedules and lesson plans. I know it's a common question, and probably does not have an answer outside my own heart, but I'd love to hear comments from seasoned veterans who's kids are the model homeschooled children (lol).

By the way, all that wonderful organization and planning I showed earlier on in my blog? It's caput. The kids just never responded to the Ambleside Online stuff. It was like pulling teeth everyday. Help me!!

I just got this email today. It has more information. As mentioned in previous posts, I'd like to hook up with other homeschool families planning on taking a trip to Disney this year. We would like to go in September. The dates reflect the same presentation 3 days in a row. NOT three days of homeschooling stuff. You pick one.

We are so excited to present to you our new Disney Home School Days educational program: Passport to Discovery

This unique program at Epcot at the Walt Disney World Resort can be enjoyed throughout the year with a group of 10 or more home school students. Just call our office at 1-866-291-6704 to request your group’s ticket order form.

On select dates, we are also offering a very special program enhancement, a cultural diversity presentation, followed by a question and answer segment led by a Disney cultural representative. These natives of other countries present unique insights into their home country’s culture, traditions and lifestyle.

2006 Special Cultural Diversity Presentation Event Dates

February   21 & 22, 2006

             May          25, 26 & 27, 2006, and

      September 18, 19 & 20, 2006

 This program is available for $41.50 plus tax per person for groups of 10 or more homeschool students. Parent teachers and guests may purchase up to as many adult tickets as they have purchased student tickets. I have attached the ticket order form.

We hope you will plan to join us and experience this very special program event.

So, start planning now to join with many other home school families participating in this exciting program.