• Jan. 19, 2006
"I'll make him a helper..."
Oh, how I thank God for His continual work in our hearts and lives! I share the following from my heart and ask that God use it to encourage you and fill you with hope.
We've been in the ministry for 14 years, and for several of those years, I deeply struggled with feelings of jealousy and resentment toward my husband. I resented the many hours he spent away from home while I was left home alone to care for and nurture three young boys. It seemed that he led such a charmed life! He was able to communicate with adults throughout the day, enjoy lunch appointments, and receive encouragement and affirmation from co-workers and others. In my mind, he just had it made!
To add insult to injury, my husband would often return home for a brief supper, only to leave again for evening meetings and obligations. That left me to patiently (or not-so-patiently) train and nurture the hearts of our boys. And sadly, when my husband was home, I'd frequently be whining about the times when he wasn't...so even the time we did have together was stressful!
I'm so grateful that in the midst of my pity party, God led me to read "A Woman After God's Own Heart" and "Beautiful in God's Eyes" by Elizabeth George. Through these books, He began tilling up the soil of my heart and giving me a fresh vision for my marriage and my home. The words 'I am on assignment from God to help my husband' funneled right into my heart. A lightbulb went on in my head (one of those "duh" moments) when I recognized that my husband is supposed to win, and I'm on assignment to help make that victory possible. A man of influence is the wife's gift to society. By caring for our home and our children, I'm contributing to my husband's reputation and his ability to minister. WOW!
Oh, how God convicted my heart through those books! And then there was this quote, "Shunning the spotlight, she gladly gives her life behind the scenes so that her husband may be noticed and honored. She is glad when he is the center of attention, when he excels, when he is recognized, when he rises to the top. Indeed, she delights in living in his shadow. His promotion is her greatest reward. She desires that her husband be highly respected and esteemed, so she contentedly offers the supreme sacrifice of herself for him."
My husband had always said he needed me...and sadly, I never understood what he meant. I selfishly thought, "Yeah, you need me to cook and clean and care for the boys and..." It's just in the last several years that I understand that he really and truly needs me. He cannot be the man God has called him to be without me embracing the call God has placed on my life...to help and support and fill him up.
Not only do I embrace that truth...I rejoice in it!
Comments
• Jan. 19, 2006
What a worthwhile post!
Posted by momofgirls
And a worthy calling too! I am blessed to have read that tonight as my husband is gone again tonight. He came home for a few hours and he's back at wok now. Before he left he asked if I resented him working tonight. I assured him I did not. And that is true...tonight. But sometimes it is hard.
I am so glad God did that work in your heart. He has worked in mine as well, though I know there is much work still to do!
Thank you for sharing!
• Jan. 20, 2006
Untitled Comment
Posted by Juldos
I remember struggling with some of the same things you wrote about, especially early in our ministry and when our children were young.
Like you, I have received encouragement from Elizabeth George, Gail MacDonald and others as a godly woman, wife and mother.
Recently I went to a pastor's wives roundtable with some women from all over the country. The woman leading it gave us a handout of what she wished she would've known about being a pastor's wife when she was younger. I'll dig it out and send it to you in the next few days.
Happy Day!
Julie D.
• Jan. 20, 2006
Thanks for the book suggestions!
Posted by jewls2texas
I read an Elizabeth George book several years ago now - Loving God with all Your Mind - and it really helped me - through encouragement from God's word - to change my thought process. I am so blessed by your testimony!
• Jan. 20, 2006
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Posted by RainyDayMichele
Nikki, I can SO identify with what you were feeling...and long story short.... I had to allow the Lord to do a great big ol' heart operation on me, as well....and WOW! When God does the work it is SO much better than OUR greatest efforts...don'tcha agree?! God is good, and He knows what our husbands need....and he chose US to be able to meet them. :o) Thanks for encouraging me today my friend!
• Jan. 23, 2006
Swinging on the porch swing with you.
Posted by Jon
I don't ever want to take your incredible attitude for granted, Nik. Thanks for continuing to take refuge with me and in me. I love you. And while I'm out becoming (in)famous, I just want you to know what a delight it is to sit in the gates and praise you.
Ya, I'll be the man whose coming home to you. I'll be the one who walks 1,000 miles to fall down at your door.
See you tonight!
• Jan. 23, 2006
Untitled Comment
Posted by RainyDayMichele
Awww.....now that's a sweet comment from your sweetheart. :)
