• Apr. 21, 2008
Moving...

Thanks to all of you who have visited me here at Homeschool Blogger over the past few years.  Please note that my blog now has a new home:  www.kindred-heart.blogspot.com 

I hope you'll visit me there soon!  The coffee's waiting!

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• Apr. 19, 2008
A Treasure Chest

I'd shared in a previous post that my parents recently put their house on the market.  They had exactly 2 private showings.  The second couple to walk though made an offer.  My parents accepted. 

God even dropped a fabulous rental home in their laps!  They get to live in it until their new home is built.  This gorgeous rental property, situated on a beautiful, large wooded lot, is going to feel like a 6-month vacation! 

Don'tcha just love it when God flings open the doors and pushes you through?  There is no doubt that He has orchestrated this entire move, and it's so exciting to think of the ministry opportunities and memories that await Dad and Mom in their new home. 

However, things have been happening much quicker than any of us had anticipated.  And we're all left with the task of sifting through nearly 32 years of memories. 

It's probably no secret that I'm a sentimental sap.  And my parents would be the first to say that I come by it honestly.  So it's understandable that the boxing up of my parents' belongings takes time...patience...sensitivity.  Afterall, it's not simply loading everything into a box, sealing it shut, and moving it to a new locale.  Nor is it filling a dumpster and starting over.  It's the remembering...it's the weighing of the past.  In some cases, it's the forgetting of the past; it's the moving on and pressing forward. 

I'd written in my previous entry that when it comes to letters and cards and notes, I'm a saver...as are my parents.  I found my mom sitting on the floor of my old bedroom yesterday, surrounded by years' worth of letters and pictures and poems.  She was reading them once again, determining what to keep and what to release. 

There was my orginal handwritten award-winning Mother's Day essay from 1983.  There was the poem my aunt had written the first Christmas my grandpa spent in heaven.  There were birthday cards and anniversary cards.  There was the tribute my dad read at my grandma's funeral.  There were cards announcing my pregnancies with our first two sons.  There was children's artwork and newspaper clippings of family achievements. 

There in my old room, sitting next to my mom, I felt like we'd unearthed a treasure chest.  I was struck by the love and history that surrounded us.  I was reminded of the family stories that span generations.  And I was newly grateful that my parents have modeled what it means to walk with Jesus.  Despite our sinfulness, failings, and shortcomings, they've shown us that God forgives; that He can be trusted; that there are no regrets in following Him; that He is worth it. 

I thank God for the memories, traditions, and everyday stuff of life that have pointed our eyes to Him over these past 32 years.  I hear the stories, I read the letters and poems, and I'm mindful that His grace has been sufficient for my parents and beyond.  And as I look ahead, I strongly desire that my life and my testimony are evidence of the same.  Oh, how I long for our boys to watch their dad and me and gain a strong sense of God's faithfulness.  Despite our mistakes and failures, I pray He uses us to reveal His love and grace.  And I pray that they will want to love Him back with their whole lives.

Oh, a house is just a house.  It will fade away.  But the Christ-centered traditions and memories will pass from generation to generation.  Oh, that we'd be faithful to tell those coming after us the glorious deeds of the Lord; that they would set their hope in Him and not forget His works, but keep His commandments. 

This is our prayer.

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• Apr. 7, 2008
Encourage one another...

What makes your heart smile? 

This is a question I've been pondering a lot lately, and I've come to the realization that one of the joys God pours out on me is that of the written word. 

My husband and I started dating almost exactly 20 years ago.  To this day, I have every letter he ever sent me.  Yes, I mean letter...written on real paper, sealed in an envelope, and mailed with a stamp.  There are hundreds of them.  He and I dated long-distance for 3 1/2 years, and these letters are a treasure to me.  They tell of the blossoming love and growing commitment we established during those early days of our relationship. 

I treasure the heartfelt words that friends and loved ones have written to me over the years.  I read...and re-read...these notes of love and affirmation.  I even have a "Monday morning" box that I sometimes turn to for a bit of encouragement at the start of a new week.  This box is filled with numerous notes, cards, and Bible verses...all pointing me to the Author and Perfecter of our faith. 

Admittedly, my email inbox is far-too-full.  I laughed as I recently told my friends that I'd done some pruning and clean-up of my inbox.  I got rid of all the stuff I deemed "unnecessary."  I'm embarrassed to write this, but even after my "pruning," I had 500 emails remaining...

The insides of a couple of my cupboard doors are graced with notes of encouragement; notes from my husband and friends...notes that remind me that no matter what I'm facing, God is on His throne. 

All these notes cause my heart to soar.  They're reminders that we're in this life together.  God has called us into community with one another and has graciously provided those to come alongside and point our eyes to Him. 

And it caused me to ask myself, "Who needs a note from me today?  Who is God leading me to encourage...to build up...to affirm?"

And I ask the same question of you.  Who can you reach out to and encourage today?  Whose heart can you direct to Jesus as you communicate your love and prayerful support? 

You never know how timely, valuable, and treasured those words may be.  My guess is that they will be longer-lasting and further-reaching than you could ever know...

"And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all."  1 Thessalonians 5:14

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• Mar. 27, 2008
Happy Birthday, my love!

Twenty years ago I gave a birthday card to my friend, Jon.  "Just as a friend," I thought.

Well, little did I know that just two weeks later, we'd be dating.

So this year marks 20 years of celebrating this incredible man who became my husband.  His birthday always feels like my birthday...I'm so excited and thankful to be able to celebrate him! 

As the years go by, I find myself rejoicing more and more in this amazing gift God gave me!  Each passing year brings deeper growth and maturity to our marriage.  I respect and admire him as no other.  Seeing him in action and using his God-given gifts brings me true delight.  Perhaps it's while watching him lift his heart in song and praise to our great God.  Perhaps it's while sitting under his dynamic teaching from God's Word.  Or perhaps it's while he's simply encouraging a member or our church family and expressing geunine concern.  All these things cause me to give praise and thanks to God. 

But then there are those other moments when he's wrestling on the floor with our boys or throwing a baseball to them.  Maybe they're all huddled around a book as he reads to them.  Or maybe he's kneeling at their bedside, praying that they will passionately follow God and become godly men.

And then there are those moments when he's all alone; those moments that no one but God is intended to see.  I've discovered that those moments are no different than all the others, because he's consistent; he's real.  As I've stolen glimpses into these private moments, I've witnessed a man whose faith is strong; a man who delights in God's Word and takes refuge in it.  Oh, how my heart rejoices! 

I thank God...over and over again...for the precious gift of my husband.  He's my greatest and best friend, and I celebrate his life each and everyday.  Happy Birthday, my love ~

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• Mar. 26, 2008
Big Contented Sigh...

I've been newly mindful...freshly aware...of all the unexpected blessings God pours out on me from day to day.  There are so many little things that make my heart smile...so many things that point back to my Father God's goodness and grace.

In reflecting on these simple pleasures in recent days, I determined that it would be wise to chronicle these sometimes ordinary, often extraordinary blessings.  With that said, I'm beginning a new category on my blog entitled, "Things That Make Me Smile." Among those things today...

Thank You, Father...

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• Mar. 20, 2008
Welcome Spring

I'd heard the robins were back, but until today, I had yet to see one. 

Today God showed me not one, but two!  I don't know what it's like at your house, but for me and my family, seeing the first robin of the year is always cause for great excitement!  This year's long-awaited sight seemed particularly sweet.  Ask anyone who lives here, and they'll undoubtedly tell you that we've had what has seemed like the longest winter in history!  But over the past week, the daily temperatures have warmed a bit, and we've experienced a gradual thaw.  The tall snow banks which had lined our streets for months have given way to puddles. 

I was alone with God when I spotted my first robins this morning.  And I know that wasn't by mistake.  It was all part of His unique plan for me. 

These robins were my Father God's simple yet poignant reminder to me that He keeps His promises; that when my heart feels as frozen as the winter's ground, God is in the business of making all things new.  He breathes new life into dormant vines and branches, causing them to bud and break forth in beauty.  And He uses the pain and heartache of our lives to cause our roots...our faith...to go down deep; He uses the hard stuff of life to cause us to flourish and radiantly reflect Him.

Today I praise Him for the promise of Spring; His promise to make ALL things new...including me. 

"See!  The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.  Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come."  Song of Solomon 2:11-12

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• Mar. 14, 2008
Life is...

You've probably seen them.  "Life is good" shirts are popping up all over, and I'm a huge fan!  They feature a wide variety of interests with the simple caption, "Life is good" written beneath.  My guys know me and my heart.  They know my interests and my passions.  Last year for my birthday, they surprised me with a treasure chest of surprises, including a "Life is good" coffee shirt.  I wear it proudly, ever reminded of the simple pleasures of each new day.

But this week has been difficult in many ways. 

I learned that my dear sister-in-law's father has cancer...how I hurt for her.  A friend and classmate from high school was killed in a car accident.  She was only 35.  Then, of course, there was the painful goodbye to my heart friend as she moved far away...

Yesterday I learned that another friend of mine and her husband recently divorced.  And while traveling, we came upon another devastating car crash. 

On top of all this, when we arrived at my parents' home yesterday, we were greeted by a "For Sale" sign in their yard.  Oh, we knew it was coming.  They've been talking and planning and dreaming about their new home for the past few years.  And I'm excited for them...really.  But seeing this sign outside my childhood home just put me over the top. 

As we traveled with my parents and I was rehearsing this week's events in my mind, I got a bad case of what my grandma calls "PLOM Disease."  Poor Little Old Me.  And the thoughts swirling around in my head came right out. 

"Life stinks," I uttered.

I'm so thankful for my guys who keep me ever looking to Jesus; that when my focus is inward and set on the temporal, they direct my gaze back to Jesus.  A little voice from the backseat responded to my little outburst with some much-needed perspective:  "But Mom, if it wasn't for life, I wouldn't be here."  Convicted, I turned around and told him that he was right...that even in the midst of heartache, God is faithful; He can be trusted. 

And my husband, who regularly holds me and provides opportunity for me to cry, vent, and share my hurts with him, pointed me back to the Truth.  He lovingly reminded me that while life is hard...God is good.

My circumstances may change from day to day.  There may be days when life doesn't feel good; when the hurts and cares of this world weigh heavily on our hearts.  But even in those painful days, we can rest confidently that "Life is hard...God is good." 

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!  Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!  Psalm 34:8

For You, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love to all who call upon You."  Psalm 86:5

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge in Him."  Nahum 1:7

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• Mar. 6, 2008
Kindred Hearts

We're just days away from saying goodbye to my best friend and her family as they move 3,500  miles away.  Her husband is already en route, and our days together are winding down.  Obviously, the emotions and heart needs of these days are many and varied.  We're simply trying to embrace the miracle of each moment we share together. 

She celebrated a birthday recently, but since they were out of town at the time, we weren't able to celebrate it together.  I'd recently mentioned to my husband that I would like to take my dear friend out for her birthday lunch soon.   His response?  "Let me handle the details.  I've got it covered." 

Now, my husband had never taken responsibility for planning a girls' outing before, and I giggled thinking of the possibilities.  And I admit that occasionally I'd check in with him and say, "You sure you want to do this?  Do you need my help?"  And with a knowing smile, he assured me that we were in good hands.  I did, however, bust a gut when he came home one day and reported, "Did you know that such-and-such Tea Room is now a Cement Company?" 

Today was the much-anticipated day, and he began letting me in on his secret this morning.  As I waited with expectancy to hear what this day would hold, he told me that he was not the only one responsible for this special day.  Tears welled in my eyes as he told me that the beautiful day that I was about to spend with my friend was courtesy of another friend; a friend that I've had the pleasure of being with in person only once in my life.  We've known each other for 8 years...via the homeschool message board I frequent.  She has prayed for me, encouraged me, and supported me countless times throughout the years.  She has become a dear and precious friend, despite the many miles that separate us. 

Needless to say, she's known about my soul friend's pending move.  She's been praying for both of us as we prepare for our "see you later's."  And from across the miles, she involved my husband in orchestrating an unforgettable luncheon for my friend and I to share.  I'm overwhelmed at the love she poured out on us.

As we arrived at the Tea Room, we found the staff waiting for us and welcoming us by name.  "We've been expecting you," they seemed to say.  They made us feel so warm and welcome.  My husband later told me he'd filled them in on our story.  They knew why we were there and the significance of this day for us. 

Natural sunlight flooded the tea room as we were shown to our table...a private, quiet setting apart from the rest.  The table was beautifully set, and our server explained that the fresh flowers were ours to take with us.  The matching teacups at our places, also, were for us to keep.  My husband, working with my friend, had arranged everything perfectly. 

We dined on quiche, spinach salad, fresh pineapple, and homemade bread.  And we sipped the most delicious tea I've ever had the pleasure of enjoying.  My choice?  Ginger Peach.  We even threw caution to the wind and enjoyed the most amazing Rum Fairy Cakes.  Hers...Lemon Mango.  Mine...Chelsea Chai.

Tied up in yellow ribbon were two sets of letters...one for my friend, one for me.  As we read the heartfelt letters from both my husband and the friend who had planned this special day for us, we were overwhelmed at God's goodness in showing us His love through so many dear people.  Our attention was directed to the yellow "friendship" roses which graced our table...reminders of the close-knit bond God has given us.

Oh, how I'll always treasure this day in my heart and mind.  The luncheon was laced with quiet remembrances of laughter and tears.  It was a beautiful celebration of the love God has lavished on us; the love that we in turn are able to share with one another. 

Our hearts are filled to overflowing...

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• Mar. 3, 2008

[To view, please pause the music in the sidebar at left.]

God uses so many different means to turn our attention and our affections toward Him.  This morning He's used a beautiful baby boy named Eliot to direct my gaze to Him and remind me that He is good.

Blessed be His glorious name...

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• Feb. 22, 2008
My Fat Files

Inspired and challenged by one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth George, many years ago, I set out to create my Five Fat Files.  What's a fat file, you ask?  Well, mine are simple manila accordian files in which I collect articles, clippings, and stories about my passions.  By now, these files have indeed grown fat...but they're ongoing encouragement as I seek to grow and become more like Jesus in each of these 5 areas. 

It's probably no surprise that one of my fat files is devoted to family.  As I often do, I was sifting through the contents of this file this morning.  I find that mornings...particularly Monday mornings ...are a good time for me to do this and re-gain some perspective.  As I paged through the numerous papers this morning, I came across one of the parent letters my husband wrote to the parents of our Jr. and Sr. High students nearly two years ago.  God evidently used it to speak to my heart back then...afterall, I saved it and put it in my "Family" Fat File.  But now, with a teenager of our own, I was struck again by the words that my husband shared.  They're so contrary to everything our society tells our kids..and us.  But for those of you who are parenting teenagers...or one day will be...I hope you take courage from these words.  I know I did...

Dear Parents,

When will your "kids" leave home?  Have you been giving that lots of thought of late?  I know there are days when you want them to stay forever and you can't imagine the day they will leave.  And ther are other days in which you catch glimmers of your student making great choices and mature decisions and you think, "I can see it---they're ready."  If you haven't had any of those kinds of days lately, they'll come (really!). 

But when do they become independent?  When do you stop worrying about them?  When do they stop asking for money?  Answer:  never.  There's some humor here, but you read correctly:  they should never become independent.  In fact, that's not even one of our goals as parents.  In our world, independence means, "I'm relationally free from anyone who has the right to tell me what to do.  I make all my own decisions."  You are way ahead of me by now, but I'm sure you see that is not a biblical concept.  We never get free of authority to such a degree that we become "free from anyone who has the right to tell me what to do."  If you know Christ, you are discovering that real freedom comes when you embrace the truth that God has authority over the whole world, and those who follow Him must gladly choose to submit to His authority together.  We are not only responsible to obey Him, we're also responsible to encourage one another to obey Him.  We are our brother's keepers.

Young adulthood has a way of drawing our students' hearts away from us as parents.  Whether your student is making plans to attend a university this fall or simply longing to have her driver's license, you are seeing the heart being drawn away.  To where?  How much should you fight it?  Isn't this just a natural phase that all adolescents go through?  Your student's heart will be drawn away to trust herself and you should fight against it hard.  As much as our culture has defined adulthood as "18 years of age," God has spoken and disagrees.  He tells us that our students are only ready to be redefined in terms of their identity when they make a marital covenant (Genesis 2:24).  Until then, their identity comes from you.  Until they get married, their whole world is in being your kid.  People in their world will not tell them that, so you get to (and make it fun!).

You're going to have to start teaching this concept early.  All the way through their adolescent years you'll have to remind them---not with words, but with time.  As your students hit 16 and 17 and (gulp) 18, they need you, not just your words.  And your presence and attitude about this issue will give them the security they are made to enjoy.  Your student may get to vote when he turns 18, but your goal is most assuredly not "independence" at 18.  It's dependence on God and relational maturity. 

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• Feb. 17, 2008
Marathon Spirit

We went to the theater last month.

The movie theater, that is.

Seriously, though, you'd have thought we were taking in the opera or a broadway show with all the hoopla that surrounded this night! 

We had our picture taken before we left...

We went to dinner...

And we took pictures by the marquee...

We even arrived early so we were guaranteed a good seat.  Afterall, this was a one-time only viewing of "The Spirit of the Marathon," shown in select theaters across the country.  We were thrilled to discover that our city was home to one of those theaters!

My husband and father (who have each run 3 marathons thus far) were eagerly scanning the crowd for "their people."  Oh, you know that runners are a special breed.  They're bonded. They share a language and experience all their own.  If you've ever seen a long string of runners lined up along the woods prior to the start of a race, you know what I mean. 

The fun thing was that my mom and I were as excited about this premier as the guys were.  We've been spectators and cheerleaders at each of the marathons our guys have run, and we like to think that by now, we're professional fans.  We always laugh at the spectator's guide that is provided at one of the marathons the guys run.  There are guidelines and tips for spectators and a listing of suggested encouraging phrases to yell as the runners pass by.  The corniest?  Keep smiling! 

While you might think that a marathon movie appeals only to die-hard marathoners, I found myself inspired...deeply moved...and challenged.  I left thinking, "I want to do that,"---not because the documentary made it look easy, mind you; because I want to stretch myself and exert myself beyond what I think is possible.  I want to endure when it hurts and press through the pain.  I want to achieve the seemingly impossible.

I may or may not ever run a full 26.2 miles.  But for now I'm setting small, more achievable (realistic) goals.  I ran my first 2-mile race two years ago.  This year I'm aiming for a 5K...and with my early morning running partners and friends, I believe we'll achieve this goal.

For those of you who are runners, love a runner, or just enjoy a feel-good, inspirational story, there will be an encore presentation of "The Spirit of the Marathon" this Thursday evening, February 21.  Check the listings to see if it will be showing anywhere near you! 

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• Feb. 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day!

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.

For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.

But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?

And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him---

a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

On Valentine's Day and everyday...I delight in loving you and thank God for the amazing privilege of being loved by you...

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• Feb. 12, 2008
Joy is...

...friends who just show up;

surprise me;

know my needs.

Joy is cooking and preparing for the second Sweetheart Banquet on a cold Saturday morning when out of nowhere, these three beautiful friends show up with picnic basket in hand. 

They knew where to find me. 

What matters to me matters to them.

They gave of their time and their very lives.

Joy is spreading our picnic out on the stage; enjoying one another and being filled...

physically...

emotionally...

spiritually.

Thank You, Father, for these sisters of my heart.  Thank You that neither time nor distance can erase the memories we share. 

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• Feb. 12, 2008
Aaaahhhhhh....

That's not a frantic, stressed, screaming sort of "aaaahhhhh." 

That's a thankful, content, joyful kind of "aaaahhhhh."

The 2-night Sweetheart Banquet for which we've been praying, planning, and pondering for months on end is behind us for another year.  As we made final preparations and worked to see our plan come together last week, Psalm 115:1 resonated in my heart:

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory, for the sake of Your steadfast love and Your faithfulness." 

As we  planned the 2008 Sweetheart Banquet, our hearts' desire was that Jesus would be honored and glorified.  We want to provide an opportunity for the adult couples of our church to bring friends and enjoy an evening where marriage is celebrated; where they can relax, laugh, be pampered, and receive encouragement for their relationships; and where they will hear that it's only because of Jesus that we can love one another.  Our hope is in Him. 

This event is our Jr. and Sr. High students' opportunity to serve.  Not only had they been practicing their songs and comedy sketches since October, but they also gave multiple hours in setting up, serving, entertaining, taking down, and cleaning up.  I can't express how good it is to see them working together and loving each other.  Their love for one another is so evident.  What a joy it is to love these kids...and be loved by them. 

This year's black and white formal-themed banquet was simply entitled, "Unforgettable."  Once guests entered the main vestibule, they were transported to a gorgeous winter wonderland.  The idea was that they were walking through a city park prior to entering the "restaurant" for their romantic dinner.  It was truly breathtaking.  Couples made a brief visit to our "studio" where they had their picture taken.  The 5X7 black and white photos were available to them at the conclusion of the evening. 

Upon entering the "restaurant" (which was simply decorated with black and white table linens, white branches in tall vases, flickering candlelight, and splashes of red roses), they were able to casually enjoy a variety of hor's douvres and sparkling white grape juice.  Once seated, our kids began table service.  The first course consisted of a Candied Pecan Salad with Gorgonzola and Raspberry Vinaigrette.  Next came White Garlic Lasagna with fresh green beans and dinner rolls with herb butter.  Finally, our guests were treated to two different varieties of cheesecake:  New York Style with strawberries and a chocolate heart or Turtle.

The kids sang numerous love songs including Unforgettable and The Way You Look Tonight.  They also acted out numerous funny skits.  The one that struck a chord with me was entitled "All the Way to Heaven."  It featured an "elderly" couple who had been married for 60 years.  Though old, Frank & Maggie were young at heart.  They were a spritely little couple!  They finished each other's sentences and even after all those years, Frank still kept Maggie laughing...all the way to heaven.  They discussed the hard times they'd had and how they had stuck it out. 

Though it was just a skit featuring a couple of our seniors with walkers and gray wigs, the truth of it resonated in my heart.  Tears filled my eyes as I saw my husband and me in 44 years.  He'll likely still be chasing me (and I'll be slowing down to let him).  I'll be laughing (still) at his well-timed sense of humor.  We'll know each other's thoughts before they're even spoken.  We'll look back on the hard, trying times and see how God used those times to make us holy.  What a joy it is to be loved by that man of mine...all the way to heaven.

My husband gave a devotional at the conclusion of the kids' performance.  We've already heard from numerous couples who brought friends.  They've testified that the night provided them an opportunity to share the gospel with friends who don't yet have a relationship with Jesus.  We praise God for the work He did this weekend.  To His name be the glory!

Pictures of people to come...

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• Feb. 6, 2008
Snow Day

5am.  My surprised eyes fluttered open and my heart breathed such a deep sigh of contentment.  My husband, who had been out of state at a Pastor's Conference since Sunday, crawled into bed beside me.  He wasn't due home till tonight, but when he heard of the snowstorm that would be beating upon us all day, he and his friend made a decision to leave the conference late last night and drive all night long to get home.  As he took me in his arms, he told me he couldn't bear the thought of me having to dig out of this storm on my own.  Words can't express my joy and gratitude... 

Wired from his unexpected arrival, I got up and began running through a mental checklist of all that this day held.  This was to be my big cooking day for the weekend's Sweetheart Banquets.  I had a crew that was coming to help me, and today was the day.  Listening to the weather forecasts and the news, it didn't take me long to realize that I wasn't going anywhere today.  And strangely enough, I didn't panic.  I didn't lose it. 

I spoke to one of my friends who is part of the team that oversees and directs the music and drama for the Sweetheart Banquet.  Tonight was to be the big dress rehearsal.  When she, too, realized that there was no choice put to cancel the practice, I heard a content and quiet heart.  She wasn't frantic or lamenting the fact that there was still much work to do.  She quietly embraced this as part of God's plan. 

Oh, we all had our plans and our agendas.  We had our to-do lists and our goals.  But I love it that God's ways are so much higher than our own.  For whatever reason, He gave us this day to stop; to slow down; to cease striving and know that He is God.  This week has been a whirlwind of activity already.  Our family has been apart, and the coming days will be full, as well.  I have to admit that I was not happy about this latest snowstorm.  We've had sooo much snow already this season...I'm longing for spring as never before.  And yet today, I find myself thanking God that we're all hunkered down and 'stuck,' as the case may be.  We've done school, played games, read, danced...and simply slowed down and enjoyed being together.  God has spoken to me through various worship songs and poured courage into my heart. 

Thank You, Father, for the snow that still falls outside my window.  Thank You carving out this day for me to slow down...to rest...and to find my joy and comfort in You.  Thank You for the amazing four guys with whom I get to share life.  My heart overflows, God.  Thank You.  

A look outside our window (earlier in the day)

The stairs leading up to our house

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• Jan. 24, 2008
Our Little Corner of the World

Though my blog has been somewhat quiet during this month of January, our home and our lives have been anything but.  Here's a bit of what's been happening in our little corner of the world...

Our boys continue to fill our lives with joy and excitement.  As I've often said, "There's never a dull moment!"  While our oldest son is basking in the glow of being a teenager (and the resulting privileges and responsibilities), our younger two sons continue to thrive, as well.  Our youngest son makes his acting debut in our church's children's musical this weekend.  Something tells me this performance will not be his last!  He doesn't have a shy bone in his body, and I'm confident that he will flourish in his new role!  Our middle son, a veteran, will make a return to the stage.  He is very meticulous in anything he attempts.  He really strives to do everything to the best of his ability.  I love watching this come out on the stage!  They are eager to be used of God as they communicate the story of Jonah.

Our middle son has embraced his new role of official cookie baker.  He inherited his dad's knack for making the most delicious chocolate chip cookies, and much to his delight, he is now able to make them entirely by himself.  It's become our Tuesday night tradition that he makes them after supper...and then we eat them while watching "Biggest Loser."  How twisted is that???  

Our middle son, displaying the fruits of his labor

As I mentioned, our youngest son is quite the character.  We never know what his next antic will be, and he loves to make people laugh.  Two years ago, my husband and I took a missions trip to Papua New Guinea.  We brought back various souvenirs for our boys, including a necklace made out of a boar tusk, a couple of handmade spears to hang on their wall, and a PNG flag.  Well, like I said...there's never a dull moment around here!  This is how our youngest son appeared on one recent day:

Our little tribal man.  He's holding the PNG flag in his other hand. 

Those of you who have read my blog for any length of time know that each February, Student Ministries sponsors a Sweetheart Banquet at church.  Not only does this include a meal, but a full evening of laughs, fellowship, and encouragement for marriages.  This 2-night event will be held next month, and needless to say, there are many, many details and preparations to be addressed.  We're so grateful for the team that pulls this event together.  Two of my friends oversee and direct the music and drama portion of the evening.  I handle the food, and together we all work on decorating.  This year's theme is a black and white formal, simply entitled, "Unforgettable."  Much more on that to come...

We're striving to invest these final weeks before our precious friends' move to a far-off state.  We really are trying to embrace the everyday stuff of life...the ordinary and extraordinary moments.   We have other friends who are missionaries.  We just said goodbye to one family as they returned to the field this week...it will likely be 4 years before we see them again.  Another dear family will return to the field in three weeks after a year furlough.  So many goodbyes lately.  Each one has me newly grateful that God has made us to be in relationship with one another.  The goodbyes are hard...the pain real and deep.  But with each goodbye, my heart is gladly set on heaven.  I long for the day when we'll be together with the Lord, singing praises to His glorious name.

That's just a brief, perhaps discombobulated, glimpse of the past few weeks and the thoughts whirling around my head and heart.  I'm thankful that in the midst of growth...the the midst of change...in the midst of busyness...our God is faithful.  He hasn't outgrown us.  He hasn't changed.  He's not too busy.  He is able and sufficient for every season and every need we face. 

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• Jan. 20, 2008
The Source of Life

"For you formed my inward parts;

You knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are Your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from You,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in Your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there were none of them.

How precious are Your thoughts to me, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with You."

Psalm 139:13-18

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• Jan. 14, 2008
Pain Mingled with Joy

In my year-end post, I referenced a previous entry I'd written the year before.  In it, I shared how God had taught me much about surrender that year.  I'd like to say that was the end of the story; that I learned what it means to give up myself and my desires for the glory of God---end of story.  But that's not the way it is.  I'm learning more and more that surrender is not a one-time lesson.  It's an ongoing, repeated, necessary, painful part of one's walk with God.  But from it comes such sweet release and fellowship with Him.

So often I'm prone to tell God how it ought to be.  I give Him my ideas and plans and await His stamp of approval.  I firmly grasp the things...the people... of life, wishing everything to remain the same.

And while I wish we could go through life pain-free...never having to say goodbye to loved ones, never feeling the heartache from missing someone so dear...in my heart I know that there is no better place to be than in the center of God's will.  It's the cry of my heart for myself...my family...and yes, my friends. 

While my heart is breaking; while the tears are still fresh on my cheeks, I can joyfully say that I'm thankful for friends who likewise desire God's will, no matter the cost.  I'm thankful that while it isn't easy, they obediently embrace His dreams for them.  It hurts.  It's difficult.  But they know...and they remind me...that the God who calls us is faithful.  The One who calls us will give us...and is...everything we need.  The God who has been sufficient in the past is sufficient for us now. 

Thank You, Father, for placing us in relationship with others.  Thank You for knitting our hearts together in a way that is inseparable...that comes only from You.  Thank You for using our friends to spur us on and direct our hearts to You.  We entrust them...our friendship...and our very lives to You, knowing and believing that You are good. 

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• Dec. 31, 2007
Year-End Reflections

It's generally around Thanksgiving time that I begin reflecting on the previous year and prayerfully considering what it was that God was doing in my heart and life over the previous 12 months. 

A few years ago, it was easy.  Throughout our journey of secondary infertility, God used the ongoing pain and the questions and the doubts to press me into Him and remind me of His faithfulness.  Though at the time it was the most heart-wrenching experience of my life, God used it for our good and His glory.  No, He didn't give us another child...but He gave us joy and contentment and complete satisfaction in Him.  I thank Him for Blessings, Trials, and God's Grace...

As we closed out last year, the theme resounding in my heart was Surrender.  Though I rebelliously dug my heels into the ground and insisted upon my own way, God continued tilling up the soil of my heart.  He broke me and refined me and purified me.  He lifted my eyes off of myself till I saw only Him...

As this November rolled around and I started pondering how God had changed me this year, I kind of drew a blank.  Oh, it's often easy to see God at work in the midst of trials...but this has been a relatively "carefree" year.  How had I grown this year?  The answer wasn't immediately noticeable.  My heart began to panic. 

"Oh, God...don't let me end this year the same as I started."

But then God lovingly reminded me of how He'd been actively working in my heart.  Though there weren't any "major" trials, He was at work in the everyday moments of life.  He impressed on me the over-arching theme "Abiding in Him." 

Oh, I blow it so many times.  I react to my circumstances and respond in a way that exalts myself, rather than my Maker.   I'm selfish and impatient and prideful and arrogant...yet, while I fail, He does not.

Throughout seemingly ordinary days and events, God is teaching me that I can't do a thing without Him.   And throughout frightening, uncertain times, He's showing me that He is my refuge...my shelter...my home.  He's teaching me what it means to be hidden in Him. 

As a new year is about to dawn, I'm filled with such excitement and longing.  It's not about stuff or events or material gain.  I want as never before for God to capture my heart and life.  I want to release to Him those areas that I try to horde for myself...those areas that I think don't really matter.  I want Him to radically change my heart and conform me to His image. 

Oh, God...this new year is Yours.  May I wisely invest each day...each moment...for Your fame.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!  According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.  In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, as was necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith---more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire---may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.  Though you have not seen Him, you love Him.  Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."  1 Peter 1:3-9

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• Dec. 28, 2007
Celebrate!!!

We conclude a week such as this feeling tired, yet oh-so-full.  Each day has brought with it memorable moments which will only grow more precious over the years.

On Christmas Eve morning, my husband took our guys to visit the residents at several nursing homes.  They delivered candy canes and homemade cards made by the AWANA clubbers at church.  This tradition began several years ago.  Our boys get to engage in conversation with several older friends.  They hear stories from long ago.  In some cases, the residents are unresponsive...they're physically and mentally unable to respond.  Other "friends" whom our boys had come to know have died since my guys first started visiting the nursing homes.  But in the midst of these visits and relationships, our boys are growing in tenderness and compassion.  They're learning that these dear ones have great worth and significance.  They're learning how to give to those who can't give back.  

While my guys visited the nursing homes for the day, I enjoyed a full day to myself.  Setting the tone with my favorite Christmas music, I set about preparing my heart and my home for the festivities of that evening.  I finished up any last minute wrapping, prepped for my evening dinner, and tidied up the house.  Most importantly, I pondered the gift of Jesus and spent time talking to Him.  

The five of us enjoyed our traditional Christmas Eve dinner that night, followed by our Candlelight Christmas Eve service at church.  This service is deeply meaningful and moving.  It brings such joy to my heart to gather with our church family...both far away and nearby friends...on this night.  The service always ends with the lighting of each of our individual candles and the singing of "Silent Night."  Simply beautiful...

Upon returning home, our family gathered for the latest installment of "Jotham's Journey," followed by our gift opening.  I'm so thankful for the quiet, meaningful moments of this night.

On Christmas morning, we drove to my parents house where we joined them for breakfast.  We had a lovely time around the table and enjoyed a delicious fruit platter, homemade cinnamon rolls, and gingerbread scones.  Following the conclusion of breakfast, we gathered 'round their tree and each one of us took a turn reading one of the prophecies regarding the birth of Jesus Christ.  What a sweet time.  And, as he does each year, my dad then led us in the reading of Luke 2. 

Following our gift opening at my parents' house, we drove to my aunt and uncle's new home for our Christmas celebration with my extended family.  This is always a fun and festive event as our family continues to grow in number and in age.  One of the traditions we've established in recent years is the playing of "Christmas Jeopardy."  My aunt always makes a large Jeopardy board listing categories and the values of each question.  Dividing into two teams, we get rather competitive, trying to be the first to ding the bell.  Even my 81-year-old grandma gets in on the action.  The photo below shows the comeback victory of the opposing team.

The day after Christmas brought with it a 30 years+ tradition.  The women in my family met for our annual shopping day.  My grandma was the ring leader of this whole brood for years and years.  Now perhaps the wisest among us, she opts to stay home and live vicariously through our stories. 

We were waiting in line outside of Target by 6:50am.  While bargain-hunting is nice, we've all come to the conclusion that this annual event is less about shopping and more about bonding and relationship.  One of my aunts even keeps a memory journal of each year's shopping trip.  In case you haven't noticed, I come from a family steeped in tradition.  We go to the same stores each year.  We take the same "rest breaks" each year.  As we've gotten...well, "older"...our rest breaks have become more frequent and regularly-scheduled.  Our first break is for coffee around 9:30am.  Then we go to lunch around 11:30 am.  Then we re-group and re-charge at Cinnabon around 3pm.  And we're finally eating dinner around 5pm.  This year, I pulled into our garage around 8pm...feeling exhausted, yet so glad to have spent this day with the women I come from. 

Yesterday, we were glad to embrace a quieter kind of family day.  We eagerly went to the movie theater to see the much-anticipated "National Treasure:  Book of Secrets."  We downed more popcorn than you would think humanly possible, and we had a super time!  The movie was especially fun since being in Washington D.C. 2 months ago.  We kept exchanging glances and declaring, "We were there!" 

You would think that after a week like this, the festivities have concluded...but not yet!  Tomorrow we get to celebrate Christmas all over again with my husband's large family.  Several years ago, we outgrew any house that will hold all of us, so we typically rent a facility for our gathering.  This year we're holding it at my in-law's church.  We look forward to be with loved ones, enjoying the nearness of their company, and celebrating the gift of Jesus. 

More on that to come...

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