If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will save it. — Luke 9:23-24

This is the answer to both the proud, arrogant and haughty and to the hurt, abused and feeling-sorry-for-themselves. No room for cry-baby Christians, for those who would claim, "I’m not responsible......

- For my hot temper. I’m Irish.

- For my life-long indulgence in sensual behavior. I was molested at age 12.

- For wallowing in self-pity and under-achievement. I come from a broken home."

Living as we do in a crybaby society that encourages blame-casting and personal irresponsibility, it is interesting to note that the Scriptures allow us no such luxury.

You don’t see Jesus, for example, saying to Peter, "Pete, your dad was a pretty harsh taskmaster, growing up as you did the son of a fisherman. When you get around to it, and are feeling better about yourself, perhaps you would consider tagging along with Me. Give Me a buzz when you think you are ready."

Or to Nathaniel, "You know Nate, you have a pretty sensitive disposition. I’d like you to trust and believe in Me, but your alcoholic father scarred you for life. Perhaps we can work on the ‘trust’ thing, when of course you have the time…and the inclination."

Today I had lunch with Sam* and his lovely wife Kerry*, and their three adorable children. Frankly, I was blown away because Sam is the product of multiple foster homes and irresponsible parenting. Women, who are loved and treated with respect, "glow". Kerry "glows". And the kids? Alert. Confident. Well mannered. Secure.

In his teens, Sam became a high priced con artist. In his mid-20s he met Christ. At 40, he is a successful businessman who gives large portions of his income to God’s work. Sam also travels the world, meeting with heads of state, and sharing Christ in the most dangerous of environs. On the side, he raises millions of dollars for propagating the Gospel. In a word, Sam has assumed responsibility for his life.

While the Scriptures express compassion for human weakness....

"We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak…" (Rom.15:1b; See Ps.41:1-3)

....they do not temper Christ’s call to discipleship:

"If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will save it."

* Names have been changed.

(© 2000 Dwight Hill, Business & Professional Ministries; a ministry of THE NAVIGATORS. Unlimited permission to copy or use is hereby granted subject to inclusion of this copyright notice. www. bpnavigators.org)

One of the great liberations of educating at home is that our children are removed from the environment of being compared to other children. Other children rarely if ever provide good yardsticks for other children. Or put another way, a child doesn’t need another child to teach it how to be a child.

Our children need committed, consistent godly role models to compare themselves to and who will also train them in righteousness. There are two temptations we and our children can fall for: one is the class of excuses illustrated above: "My background, lack of care and resources, etc., have made me unfit to excel as a Christian, let alone a parent educating my children at home." The other temptation is to consider  ourselves or our children in isolation: "My child will decide or determine for himself what his area of endeavour will be and what level of accomplishment he will attain."

Be done with such thoughts! The Scripture says plainly: deny yourself. Paul said he considered his many admirable attributes to be dung (Philippians 3:8). Well, if we are carrying some baggage from our past which really is dung, all the more reason to dump it, deny this aspect of ourselves, and no longer consider it. In fact, the Scripture says to "consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:11).

Here we meet the Lord’s incomparable provision: He tells us to deny ourselves....yes, that seems tough sometimes, but if our backgrounds included violence, hate and injustice, why would we want to hang onto that?...He tells us to deny ourselves, and to take up the Cross! We are to compare ourselves to Him, occupy ourselves with Him and grow up into Him. "No soldier on service gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to satisfy the One Who enlisted him" (II Timothy 2:4). "For God is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13). Count on the Holy Spirit’s work within you. "He who calls you is faithful, and He will do it!" (I Thessalonians 5:24).

Spank with Love

Most of us probably believe that loving our children comes naturally. This is not entirely true. Paul told Titus to teach the older women so that "they can train the younger women to love their....children." (Titus 2:4, NIV). Yes, we need to be taught to love our children. Why? Because we can never afford to forget or underestimate the deceitfulness of sin within our own hearts. With children especially, to love them means to love the baggage that comes with them. An infant’s incessant crying has to be the most stressful sound of all and has caused more than one parent to lose control. Children simply demand a vast amount of attention, when, really, we would love to be doing something else. I mean, who loves to be up to one’s elbows in pooed nappies, vomit-covered blankets and urine-soaked sheets with samples of the last several meals still lying on the floor, running down the walls and streaked through one’s hair? Expectant parents need to be warned, grandparents need to be reminded and new parents need support all along the way to continue to love their children when the inevitable hard times come.

Love means commitment. It is a rare commodity these days but even more priceless as a result of its scarcity. The love commitment to our children will often mean we must do things we really do not want to do at all. A job from which many of us will shrink and avoid if at all possible is spanking. In today’s climate where child abuse is seen as one of the worst evils, we may be afraid to do it or even to consider doing it. Even so, we should be even more afraid of ignoring the clear teaching of Scripture: "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:24 RSV).

Yes, spanking is a demonstration of our love, and in it we mirror the love of our Heavenly Father: "My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of His reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights." (Proverbs 3:11-12 RSV). Therefore Biblically applied spanking has excellent benefits. "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11 RSV). The Scripture here is promising the fruit of righteousness for our children if we will train them via proper (painful rather than pleasant) discipline. The most difficult aspect of this is the discipline we ourselves need in order to follow through consistently. Love is just plain hard work.

Again, love means commitment. The love commitment to our children will often mean we must do things for which we do not feel the least bit prepared nor qualified. This is not surprising when we consider what the King of kings has commanded regarding ourselves and our children: "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NKJV). Notice how God’s Word must first be in the hearts of us parents, so much so that we live it, breathe it, sleep it. Obviously the training here is by word and deed, our children getting to see and hear a godly sermon at the same time as they observe us, our lives being lived before their eyes. Is your life like that?

Spank Until It Hurts

Now again, our modern Western culture conceives of love as mostly sentimentality and gush. The "Tough Love" movement has worked out that this approach is lacking, but TL itself is off on a tangent because it is not based on the Word of God. When one has an accurate understanding of the doctrine of sin, one then will fear it above all things, never trifle or flirt with it and never ever compromise with it, especially when it is seen manifested in one’s own children. At this point, brothers and sisters in Christ, people of God, we are dealing with life and death issues of everlasting importance and implications. To drive sin out of our children is a fearful and awesome task which requires the resoluteness and discipline of steel, for we must implement the following Scriptural instructions: "Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart." (Proverbs 20:30 NKJV). This is often far more unpleasant for us parents than for the children. But the alternative — ineffective discipline — is far worse for it allows the foolishness of sin to become entrenched in our children's lives. The Scriptures have terrible warnings about allowing that to happen: "Though you grind a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his foolishness will not depart from him." (Proverbs 27:22 NKJV). The foolishness becomes fixed and permanent, unable to be removed by any human effort. Yes, the Lord can work miracles in such lives, and praise His Holy Name, He has done so on many occasions. But if we ignore this warning and the promise of righteousness in Hebrews 12:11 as mentioned above, we have no logical right to expect the Lord’s mercy at such a latter stage.

If our children do not cry with the one stroke we normally give, then they may require another. If they start hollering to raise the roof in protest, not repentence, they definitely get another. Pastor Al Martin tells the story of being whipped by his father, then slamming the door leaving the room. His mother called out, "Give him some more, Pa, he ain’t sweet yet," referring to the evidence that her son was not yet in sweet submission to his parents’ authority. Now remember: the objective is to drive out the foolishness. If it is still manifesting itself after the spank by the child slamming doors, talking back, etc., then clearly the rod has not yet dislodged the foolishness. More stripes are required.

Yes, this is a difficult area, for giving some children (like one of ours aged 8) only one stroke of the rod is totally ineffective. For others (like another one of ours aged 3) simply asking, "Are you being disobedient?" often seems enough to drive the foolishness out. Each child is different and part of our job as parents is to observe each child carefully and know them enough to know when they are being rebellious (manifesting sinful foolishness) and when they are just having us on (being playful) and when they are truly unaware of having done wrong (childish misconceptions or ignorance due to our lack of instruction). In addition, we must be very careful to draw the line between willful sinful behaviour, which requires the rod of correction, and mere childishness, which may need only verbal admonition and counsel. Wetting the bed, spilling food and drink, dropping and breaking crockery, making a huge mess or loud noises when eating or playing are for younger children especially not acts of rebellion but indications of physical, mental and social immaturity. Same for getting the maths answers wrong or playing the wrong musical note: although many or our parents and grandparents were caned for such mistakes in school and at home, such treatment is little short of barbaric.

Spank Without Anger

This can hardly be overstressed. "Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20 NKJV). Spanking is not hitting, beating or punishing. Punishment is God’s domain. Do not let yourself or enemies of the faith equate spanking with violence. Spanking is chastisement, corporal correction, discipline, driving out the foolishness. However, if spanking is done in anger, out of frustration or annoyance, in retaliation, to save face, carried to excess or done to cause humiliation (see Deuteronomy 25:3), then it does become a form of unBiblical violence, and then it will tend to breed violence, hate and resentment. But Biblical spanking, the sober, prayerful, fearful and judicial use of the rod of correction, is emphatically not violence.

Finally, do not hold a grudge. Spanking leaves the offense forever in the past. If you bring up a past incident, let it be a careful illustration; otherwise it will be a humiliation, a breaking of trust, unfair and unjust.

From Keystone Magazine
January 2001 , Vol. VII No. 1
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but grievous; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

— Hebrews 12:11

Spank for the Child’s Best Good

Spanking deals immediately with the issue. Many readers would have seen the clip on TV with the cute little girl throwing a temper tantrum. She stops and tells the viewing audience that it is no fun when no one is paying any attention. This, then, is a sample of the kind of child-rearing advice given by our state agencies: ignore the child when they misbehave, as it is only a fun ploy to gain your attention. This advice contains basic conflicts of logic: the child wants your attention, so you are advised to ignore it; the behaviour is unacceptable, but again you are advised to ignore it; it is assumed the child is having some fun at your expense, when any observer can tell that children do not enjoy tantrums. It is typical of the kind of nonsense spoken by ivory tower types, who know nothing of full-time parenting.* And it totally fails to deal with the twin issues of unacceptable (sinful) behaviour and need for attention.

*(As a matter of fact, home educators are probably the only full-time parents in the country: everyone else unloads their children off to day care or kindy or school as soon as they can. Consequently most of them listen to these ivory tower types, for they know just as little themselves, only seeing their children in the mornings and evenings and a bit during the weekend. Come to think of it, we home educators surely have regained child-rearing wisdom and skills which must have been common knowledge prior to compulsory schooling, and we surely should be listened to, our opinion should be actively sought, by state policy-makers. Ah, but I have digressed.)

Facing the tantrum square-on as the manifestation of sinful foolishness that it is, giving a spanking to drive the foolishness out (according to Proverbs 22:15 remember) and using the Word of God as your guide in counselling afterwards, you deal with all the issues. The child’s need for attention is met with clear authoritative instruction.....the child usually has no idea why it threw the tantrum; it just came out. Your attention has been focussed on an area where your input is essential for the child’s growth in maturity and self-awareness and understanding. Another measure of foolishness has been driven from the child’s heart so that it is not allowed to take root and become an integral part of the child’s character. Best of all, you have yourself conformed your actions to the Word of God through your obedience to Scripture.

Spanking does so much good for the child and for you. Apart from the several advantages already mentioned, it restores the ruptured relationship which sin always causes. You don’t sweep it under the carpet where it will fester and become cancerous, you deal with it head-on. Ancient wisdom says the same: "Nip it in the bud," "A stitch in time saves nine." The air is cleared of the anger, guilt, mistrust, frustration and disappointment generated by the sin. A spanking completely settles the issue (although restitution, a separate issue, may be required). Sending the child to its room or grounding it or depriving of some privilege for a period of time is not dealing with the issue of sin: it is only allowing the rebellion to foment inside and saddles you with the extra burden of having to police this period of grounding or whatever, which also serves to negatively remind everyone of the misdeed all over again. Who needs these extra complications? A spanking allows everyone can get on with life.

Now, I am not saying there is no place for sending a child to its room for a period of time out, or for grounding or some other restriction. These can be great training tools in a parent’s child-rearing arsenal. One of our children was particularly responsive to even the threat of fining her for certain behaviours...the imposition of a $2 fine was to her particularly irksome.

Spank for Breaking the 4 "D"s

So the question arises, "When should one spank, and when should one use some other tactic?" Recall the foundational concept behind spanking: to drive the sinful foolishness out of the heart. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." (Ephesians 6:1). "Whoever knows what is right to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin." (James 4:17 RSV) Sin in the camp is the parent’s cue to apply the rod. We’re not talking about childishness or accidents or being boistrous or hyperactivity....we’re talking about the manifestation of sinful, wrong and unacceptable behaviour.

Keep the rules simple and few. Your children will remember every careless rule you utter and may learn from your forgetfulness that you are not serious, that you are inconsistent, that you do not keep your word. We spank our children for breaking one of the four "D"s: Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, Destructiveness. Just about every wrong will fall into one or more of these categories. Ensure that the guilty party is aware of the rules before spanking for an infringement. Disrespect must be explained, examples given, and possibly you will need to take a child who has just been grossly disrespectful aside and explain to him his sin. This first explanation may not need a spanking for the child may have had no idea it was being disrespectful. In fact these days, with our current brand of humour which seems to appreciate insults given to one another with a smile, the child may have been demonstrating a very clever talent for emulating adult social behaviour observed in another context. (It may also say something about our need to review our own sense of humour!) And do not spank for childish mistakes or accidents. Our son was playing waiter by balancing heaping plates of spaghetti and meat sauce on his fingertips at shoulder height between kitchen and dining room, when he dropped one onto our brand new, light grey, $6000 carpet. It was an accident, not sin. The rod was not employed, but he sure worked hard to clean up the mess. Dishonesty is usually seen in stealing and lying. But the concepts of private property and truthfullness must first be explained, and this can take some time. Grab every opportunity to demonstrate: when the shop assistant gives you too much change, return it. When you find some lost property, hand it in. Exaggeration is not lying. Pulling a practical joke or trying to fool someone may be getting close to lying, so beware. But trying to shift blame onto someone else by telling a false tale is lying of the worst kind and cannot be tolerated. Dropping a crystal glass and breaking it is not Destructiveness....unless the child was told not to carry the glass or handle it in that way....then the child is guilty of Disobedience. But willfully throwing rocks through a window or putting a match to the sofa just to see what would happen is Destructiveness.

Spank in Private

Chastisement in public is humiliating, so avoid it if possible. In fact, you could be accused of child abuse by the self-appointed anti-spanking vigilantes these days, so by all means, be discreet. With our two-year-old we just need to say, "Are you being disobedient?" for him to behave in a public situation....he knows what the alternative is! For us a spanking is often a 10-15 minute process. We go to the bedroom, collect the spanking rod, then fully discuss the crime. I ask the child to identify which of the four Ds was broken and to explain why I have to spank rather than tongue lash or do something creative like give lollies. There is always an opportunity to plead extenuating circumstances, and if appropriate, no spank is given. After the spank there are cuddles and prayer, at which time the child is very open, teachable and receptive. Here is the time to reason with words of instruction and encouragement.

Now, it really is a hassle to drop whatever we’re doing to embark on this process. But as the Scripture says, "...it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it", and I reckon that includes the parents as well as the children! Remember, the object is to drive out the sin, restore the relationships spoiled by the sin, inculcate words of admonition and instruction, reaffirm your love and commitment, and get on with a life now more fully able to glorify God.

From Keystone Magazine
November 2000 , Vol. VI No. 6
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

"Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil."

— Ecclesiastes 9:11

From Keystone Magazine
September 2000 , Vol. VI No. 5
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

"A servant will not be corrected by mere words; for though he understands, he will not respond."

— Proverbs 29:19

Spank Not with Words

Do we really need to spank at all? What’s wrong with a good tongue lashing? Surely we can appeal to the child’s sense of duty, reason, sense of fair play?

Well, no, we cannot. We are talking about children here, little ones up to around 8 or 10. (If spanking is done consistently to drive out the foolishness as explained in Proverbs 22:15, and done along with the training and teaching and example of parents, there should be little if any need to spank beyond this age.) Little ones of this age, and honestly even into teenage years, do not think straight. They simply haven’t got the experience of years to have a sufficiently developed sense of reason and fair play and duty.  Besides, we are talking about a child who has just committed some breach of rules, exhibiting a life currently directed by foolishness, not reason. Mere words, you see, do not dislodge the foolishness and sin from the heart, whereas a spanking will (see Proverbs 22:15 & 20:30). While they are in the grip of this outburst of foolishness, they are unable to grasp your words of wisdom anyway. So don’t waste the wise words or your breath at this point. (They will be readily received immediately after the spanking.)

In addition, tongue lashings tend to be character assassinations, going deep, doing much damage. "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (Proverbs 12:18 RSV). And because tongue lashings do no obvious damage, we can more easily give full vent to our (sinful) anger, ranting and raving, getting it off our chests, giving them a piece of our minds. This is a bad example, on top of the damage angry words are doing to the child’s spirit and emotions. The Scriptures are clear: "The wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." (James 1:20).

Some parents tend to do nothing. Eli the priest failed to restrain his sons, Hophni and Phinehas. They were a disgrace to all Israel, and all Israel knew what swine they were, so much so that it is actually commented on in Scripture that "they would not listen to the voice of their father" (I Samuel 2:25) and that Eli "did not restrain them" (I Samuel 3:13). They were so bad that God determined to wipe them (and their father Eli) off the face of the earth. Their unrestrained lives proved the veracity of Proverbs 29:15: "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother" (and his father, too, as well as the whole family and possibly further afield as did these sons of Eli!) Maybe Eli was a non-violent type, and like his sons, had little regard for the Lord’s ways of doing things, preferring his own. Well, "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death." (Proverbs 16:25) This is what it means to live by faith: to order our lives according to God’s word, even though we can’t understand it, don’t like it, and hope our friends don’t read certain passages until after they get saved.

Grounding, giving them "time-out", making them stand in the corner, forfeiting pocket money, etc. do not deal with the problem of sin in the heart. This sin, this foolishness which just manifested itself in the unacceptable behaviour of the child, must be driven out, separated from the child. Restrictions such as grounding, etc., are hard to police, cause the offence to be remembered for far too long, and can cause resentment to build up alongside of the original foolishness which was not driven out by the rod (spanking) in the first place.

We fostered an 8-year-old boy for a year. Foster parents are not allowed to administer Biblical correction (spankings). The boy’s psychologist suggested we give him a lollie at the end of each day he stayed within the rules. This did not work. If he blew it early in the day, he would be as disobedient and abusive as he liked thereafter, knowing the worst that could happen would be the withholding of a lollie. His lawyer suggested we write down infractions in a wee notebook, like the soccer referees do. This had no effect whatsoever.

Then one day we were assigned guardianship over the lad. I told him that he would now be subject to the same rules as our own children: one spank with the rod across the backside when it was established that he had violated one of the family’s rules. Soon afterwards both he and our youngest son transgressed together at the same time. After questioning, establishing the facts, and explaining the rules again, our son took his spank. The foster boy was next, and like our own, he cried before and after the spank....and was very receptive to further instruction and reassuring cuddles afterwards. His first words to me after the spank and again first thing the next morning were: "Dad, you’re the best!" He also wrote a card of thanks for the spank and put it on my plate at breakfast. He was a totally different boy from that point onwards.

Our words need to follow the same pattern as God’s words: we should use them to teach, reprove, correct, train in righteousness, edify and impart grace (II Timothy. 3:16, Ephesians. 4:29), but not to whip children either as punishment or to enforce obedience.

From Keystone Magazine
July 2000 , Vol. VI No. 4
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him."  

— Proverbs 22:15

Do you see a man skilful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.

--- Proverbs 22:29

Now there is a promise of a passport to greater things! And our Lord God Himself is making this promise.

This Proverb is a promise with a condition. The promise is to stand before kings. And we are talking plural here. A skilful man will stand in the presence of mighty and powerful leaders, political leaders. He will stand before them, not crawl or bow down. He will look them directly in the eye on the same level as a peer. It is as if they summoned him to them. And this makes sense, for he is a skilful man, possessing some skill they obviously do not possess. They are looking to him for his services for they acknowledge his superiority in some area.

But he will not stand before obscure men. What? Is he too good for regular folks like you and me? No, the way the word "stand" is repeated gives it a similar context. Obscure men would not be comfortable asking such a skilful one for his help, perhaps because their objectives are so obscure almost anyone could lend a hand. Obscure men would be embarrassed to ask a man of such skill to help them, to take note of and help their unimportant projects because he is sought after by so many others of might, authority, power and renown. It would be cheeky, or more like something bordering on an insult. Why? Because the man of skill is so obviously in a much superior league than they. Now this does not mean he never lends his skill to lowly projects: assuming this man of skill holds other Christian qualities, he will most definitely lend his skill and acumen to projects his wife, his children, his church and his close friends are involved in.

So how did this man become skilful in his work? He was disciplined. He was focused. He not only studied the finer theoretical aspects of his work, but he constantly practised to finely hone and perfect his senses and abilities as they relate to this work. It is said that the great Louis Armstrong, the trumpet player without equal, still practised up to eight hours a day, even while travelling the performance circuit. The man was surely only competing against himself, constantly pushing the boundaries outward.

Natural talent does not make someone skilful. Concert pianists constantly play the piano. Olympic athletes are obsessed with training. Professional writers are profuse writers. The finest engineers are found in engineering shops. Skilful men have mastered certain arts to a degree beyond the common or average. They may be able to perform physical feats of strength or skill or possess mental capabilities such as concentration, memory or spatial conceptualisation that leave the rest of us for dead. There are many experts whose skill lies in the way they see things, and some who are famous for their finely discriminating sense of smell. Whatever natural talent they may have started with, they had to develop it through constant practise and training.

There are at least three applications here for us home educating parents.

First, we need to impress upon our children the need for training, for follow-through, for self-discipline. We need to help them learn how to focus on a task, to concentrate, to filter out distractions, to know when to press on without a break and when to step back for a moment to shake out the stress and check that the whole thing is in perspective. Our children need to learn how to strive for an acceptable standard of excellence in what they do. "Whatever your task, work heartily, as serving the Lord and not men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward; you are serving the Lord Christ." (Colossians 3:23-24).

Second, it is our privilege to observe our children and spy out those natural talents and personal passions the Lord has put within them. We can direct and train their tendencies into usable channels. This includes knowing how to discern whether an obsession with computer games is an unhealthy addiction to fast-paced and violent visual and mental stimulation or an urge to conquer ever-greater challenges in the areas of logistics and strategy. "For by the grace given to me I bid every one among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment ... Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them." (Romans 12:3 & 6). We parents should be providing a fair measure of that sober judgment and helping our children to identify their gifts.

Third, we ourselves need to be setting the example and the pace when it comes to the standard we accept for the things which are our responsibilities. One tendency I see in my own life is to let the little things slide so I can concentrate on the bigger, more important items. But the Word of our Lord Jesus Himself says, "He who is faithful in a very little is faithful also in much; and he who is dishonest in a very little is dishonest also in much." (Luke 16:10).

Faithful home schooling parents have the unspeakable honour and privilege of working in cooperation with the God of the Universe in moulding His children into men and women of God who, because of their surpassing skill in various areas, will stand before kings and help change this country back round the way it should be. And what is more, they like St Paul will have the opportunity to speak the words of eternal life into the ears of the highest leaders in the land.

From Keystone Magazine
March 2000 , Vol. VI No. 2
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately corrupt; who can understand it? — Jeremiah 17:9

This passage puts a very unpleasant and unpopular message before us. It is telling us something we have all heard before: that at the heart of the human problem is the problem of the human heart.

Now, we are not talking about the band-aid class of problems here. We are talking about a terminal, inoperable cancer type of problem. And it is a problem we all have. Yes, even born again Christians.

You see, we were created good by God in the Garden. But in Adam we all fell into sin. We tend to underestimate the problem of sin, mainly because we have been living in it since conception and are rather more comfortable with it than we would admit. But this sin is a deadly disease with a 100% kill rate. It affects every part of us, giving rise to the doctrinal term "total depravity" which means we humans have been depraved or corrupted in every area, that is, in our total being. (It does not mean every area is as totally depraved as it can possibly be, but until one is converted, one is certainly headed in that direction.) We Christians have been saved from the worst part of this disease, namely, everlasting death in hell, but we will not be free of this disease until we are resurrected to Glory. Meanwhile, the indwelling Holy Spirit gives us an increasing ability to overcome the power of sin in this life, a life-long process known as sanctification.

Implications: we humans are not in a state of normalcy, but are born sick, live with this illness all our days, and only gain deliverance at death. Those lovely people we know who have "hearts of gold" have no such thing. Their hearts are the worst part of them. The Scripture above says the heart is "desperately corrupt", which is a lot worse than just plain old "corrupt", which is pretty bad already. Also note: the heart is deceitful.....deceitful above all things, more deceitful than anything else you could mention. Which is why you still think those lovely people DO have hearts of gold, in spite of what the Scripture says. Praise God, not man, for the good deeds done. And praise God that He organises even unregenerate people to do many good deeds.....in spite of their heart conditions.

Our children are not little bundles of innocence....they too have the same deceitful hearts, desperately corrupt. Their cute little eyes and mannerisms will deceive us into thinking otherwise, but we must hold to what Scripture says, not what our deceitful hearts want to tell us. Our job is to give them a proper Biblical "self-esteem",  one that acknowledges this problem. Not surprisingly the world’s idea of self-esteem is just the opposite: instead of realising you are so depraved that you need a Saviour, you will save yourself by affirming how truly great you are.

It said in the July 13, 1998 issue of Newsweek magazine: "If students work in classrooms where posters proclaim WE APPLAUD OURSELVES! and complete sentences like "I am special because...." they will be inoculated against drug use, teen pregnancy, bad  grades and just about everything else short of the common cold. Or so the story goes. Parents, like educators, have soaked up the message, trying to make their child feel good about himself no matter how many courses he fails or fly balls he drops."

However God’s reality has a way of asserting itself as even this Newsweek article had to observe: "But now there is evidence that it might be dangerous.... ‘If kids develop unrealistic opinions of themselves and those views are rejected by others,’ warns psychologist Brad Bushman of Iowa State University, the kids are ‘potentially dangerous’....High self-esteem that is unjustified and unstable -- Bushman’s definition of narcissism -- also puts a kid at risk of turning violent."

We parents must always remember that God has appointed us as parents and mentors of our children: we teach and role model, they learn and emulate. They learn to have a healthy scepticism toward their own hearts by our teaching and by our example. We don’t follow our feelings: we do our duty, which we find written in the pages of Scripture. We men have a particular duty to provide strong leadership here. Having done our duty, God in His grace may well give us the feelings of satisfaction once the job’s well done, or of pride in a child once he’s been disciplined to accomplish things on his own, or of affection toward your wife once you’ve loved her sacrificially, or of respect for your husband once you’ve honoured him sufficiently.

Again, the key to a proper self-esteem is to have a proper — that is, Biblical — self-portrait. We are created in the image of God. But we are fallen and so depraved in every area of our lives (physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual) that we are unable to function as we ought without outside help. We get some help from our parents via discipline — as long as they are not deceived by their hearts to be slack in discipline — and via teaching and example. We also get the spiritual help we need from the Lord via the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit. This conversion so thoroughly changes us that we are henceforward enabled to do God’s will and even to desire to do His will over our own. But because sin is still an integral part of our human nature, especially our hearts, that until the day we die we must co-operate with the Holy Spirit in our sanctification, using the Scriptures as our infallible guide rather than the fickle fancies of our deceitful hearts.

From Keystone Magazine
January 2000 , Vol. VI No. 1
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

But I tell you the truth, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counsellor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. — John 14.7

Gordon Fee, a well respected Pentecostal New Testament commentator and scholar, writes in his conclusion to a major work on the Holy Spirit in the letters of Paul (God’s Empowering Presence, p. 900):

At the same time, the dynamic and experienced nature of life in the Spirit was generally lost. At least part of the reason for this was a matter the NT never addresses: how do children of believers become believers themselves? At some point in time, the majority of Christians became so as a result of being born into Christian homes rather than through adult conversion. … … All the Pauline epistles, it must be emphasised, were written to first generation believers, all of whom - at least those addressed in Paul’s letters - were adult converts, whose conversion had included an experienced coming of the Holy Spirit into their lives. … … But what happens to this experienced conversion, attended by the Spirit, for children born and raised in the homes of such converts? As much as anything, this probably accounts for the subsequent loss of the experienced nature of life in the Spirit and for the general marginalising of the Spirit in the later church. Again, this is not intended to be a judgmental picture, nor do I suggest that it is true at all times and in all places.

There is here a slight pessimism about the experience of the Holy Spirit in the lives of those who have grown up in Christian homes. It is almost as if he could be thinking in the back of his mind, "These second generation Christians are all soft. Give me a raw heathen, snatched from the very flames of hell itself, and I’ll show you a really evangelical believer!" Is he not hinting that Christians reared in Christian homes are in some way responsible for the marginalisation of the Holy Spirit in church history?

Well, we know what he means. We all know Christians who were marvellously converted from the depths of depravity and whose testimony is so fascinating to listen to. And they often seem to be the best evangelisers, too, somehow better able to identify with the unbelievers around them. I know unbelievers who have expressed the same sentiments: that artists, playwrights and other creative people who have suffered greatly are better able to really put feeling into their creative works. And so a Christian who has really experienced the depths of a sinful life prior to his or her conversion is so much more on fire for the Lord for he KNOWS exactly what he has been saved FROM and is therefore the more urgent and sincere in proclaiming the saving message of the Gospel.

Now we Christian parents, especially those of us who were NOT brought up in Christian homes, do sometimes wonder and worry about how keen for the Lord our children are going to be. This is one of the reasons why we home educate, so that the world will not unduly tempt them away from the faith.

And we are conscious of the "Preacher’s kid" or "Missionary’s kid" syndrome, where the parents were so busy ministering to the needs of others, they neglected their own children to the point where the children go off the rails and deny the faith.

In addition we have all seen how the stifling effects of a dead formalism or traditionalism can creep into a church. Where you used to see people hungry for the faithful preaching of the Word, for personal application and spiritual growth, and for evangelising the lost, you now see people more concerned about someone else taking their parking place or sitting in their pew-position or the little ones making noise during the service. And so we form home-churches or radically rev up the existing church’s services.

That our children would not have such vivid conversion experiences as some (but by no means all) of us have had is to be expected. They have grown up hearing from infancy the Blessed Name of Christ our Saviour spoken in tones of awe and reverence rather than as one of a selection of swear words. They are used to prayer and Bible reading and the singing of psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Yes, they still need to be born again, yet it would be rare parents who would send their child out into the world to be tempted by and even experience so much of what those same parents know to be sinful so that the child could have the benefit of a really dramatic turnaround in his life. No, we would rather see our children’s conversion be more of a growing personalised eagerness, an acceleration into the Christian life; not changing direction, but continuing on the course along which we parents have been steering them from birth.

Many parents will testify of themselves and of their children that a conversion experience has indeed taken place, but they cannot pin-point the event in time. For some it was more of a process, for others a dawning realisation, for others a reality they never in their lives seriously doubted. Now as a person who has experienced a clear, dramatic, one-moment-in-time conversion, I struggle to understand these other salvation testimonies, for they are outside of my personal experience.

But it is not a conversion experience that makes a Christian.

It is the work of the Holy Spirit IN our children’s lives, a consistent change over time, little by little, in this area then in that area, but always toward a closer resemblance to the image of Christ a la II Corinthians 3:18 that reveals a true Christian. It is the presence of the Holy Spirit Himself in our children’s lives that will clearly demonstrate whether they are branches as described in John 15:5, vitally abiding in the vine. For they will produce, slowly perhaps but inevitably, the blessed fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Sure, it would have been great for those Apostles and early disciples to have had the continuing experience of Christ Himself among them. Wouldn’t we all love such an experience ourselves? But as He said, He needed to depart for our good, that He might then send the Holy Spirit Who would dwell not just with us but IN us, causing us to grow and mature. The promise, "I will send Him to you" is for all Christians. Those born into Christian homes, and raised in Christian families CAN have as vital, fresh and powerful a work of the Holy Spirit in their lives as those converted from out of the world.

Reading through the book of Judges is most instructive, for here is a repeating cycle of a first generation whose hearts are turned to God, a second generation who seem to have lost the vision, and a third generation who have gone over to pagan practises so abominable the Lord has to punish the people and raise up a judge to bring them back and start with a new generation.

We trust that we are keen first-generation Christians, and in our home education we do not want to see our children turning out as second-generation Christians who are losing the vision. If anything we want to see them even more consistently Biblical than we are. We want our children to be themselves first-generation Christians. And so it should be, for God adopts us as His children. We are born again into His family as children, not as grandchildren.

Unlike the people in Judges, we present-day first-generation home schooling parents have the Holy Spirit in our hearts and the completed Scriptures in our hands and all the benefits the 20th century Church has to offer...and without hindrance we are free to constantly and consistently utilise these in the upbringing of our children!

So let’s go for it! Let us appreciate afresh the privilege that is ours through the Holy Spirit’s coming: being true branches vitally abiding in Jesus Christ, the vine, and producing the fruit of the Spirit for all, especially our children, to see. They will then have the pattern, the living role-model, and will see the vital Christian  lives of their parents — struggling yet persistent, burdened yet rejoicing, tested yet overall victorious — in action. For in the Lord our labour is not in vain.

What shall we conclude then? Are we any better? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. — Romans 3.9

In the first two chapter of Romans, the Apostle Paul very clearly demonstrates how the whole of mankind is under the influence of sin. The Gentile world, he says, has been reduced to worshipping the creature rather than the Creator by idol worship. Not only this, but that residual knowledge of the true God, built into every human being by God, has actually been suppressed by man in his native state. This knowledge is never enough to save a man or woman, because salvation is found in no one else, and there is no other name in the world given among men than the name of Jesus by which we must be saved (Acts 4.12).

But what about the people of God? Are they still sinful by nature? Paul argues that they are, in Romans 2. It is not enough just to have the law of God he argues, you have to keep it as well, and in that the people of God also fall short. This is our own experience too - the good we want to do, we are not able to do.

It is not difficult to believe the Scriptures when they tell us of the inherent sinfulness of man, because it is something we can see all around us. Yet challenges to this teaching have been made and still continue. One says that human nature is basically good, and that it is just a matter of a decent upbringing, proper education and a good start in life to make people into honest and upright citizens. This idea is very popular, and has been in some shape or form a dominant idea in Western culture for about 200 years. Two world wars, decades of genocide and dispersion of whole peoples has done little to shake the faith in the goodness of human nature.

Another is the false doctrine of perfectionism. This tells people that Christians can become perfect in this life, or if that is too hard to swallow, then at least very good. Good enough, in fact, to be unaware of having sinned for long lengths of time. Now it is undoubtedly true that Christians can and should grow in holiness, but even the regenerate, converted people of God retain enough of the old nature in this life to give the lie to the doctrine of perfection. Only the grace of God is strong enough to overcome human sinfulness.

When we are asked for the umpteenth time about how our children are socialised, do we snap or return with a really sarcastic reply? Do we not remember that we too are ignorant of other facets of life and that our ignorance is a source of frustration to others? When relations critisize your home education efforts for being (what they perceive to be) disorganised and disjointed, do we get angry and defensive, or go smug on them and look down our noses? This is sin.

Some of us will remember quite well how daft we used to think home education was. But we recognise now our faulty attitude was due to ignorance and misconceptions and not having had anyone explain and demonstrate both the practical and Scriptural commendations. Let each of us be the one to gently and lovingly lift the veil from the minds of those around us who still view home education as some fringe movement.

Do we let our children’s childishness get us angry and frustrated? What do we expect from them? Is it more than they are physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually able to cope with? They are little sinners with a whole bundle of foolishness bound up in their hearts which must be removed (Proverbs 22:15). Modelling sinful behaviour (impatience, yelling, name-calling) back at them is not going to help.

Sure we have to tend to the toddler and the washing and the lunch preparation, so why can’t those kids just do their assignments like we told them? Well, maybe our homes can get as distracting and as noisy as a classroom making it next to impossible for them to concentrate. Maybe we, at times, lose sight of the most valuable opportunity that home education affords: to spend vast amounts of time interacting with our children, rather than expecting them to spend vast amounts of time interacting with work books and bits of paper.

While they are doing assignments, what are we doing? Housework? Changing the baby’s nappies? Gardening? Maybe it would be more profitable for our students (and our total educational programme) for them to be helping us do those things. Do they really NEED to be doing that bookwork? Then maybe we could do it WITH them, enriching the task and enhancing the learning with our own life’s store of wisdom and experience. Maybe the washing and gardening can wait until later as part of P.E. or Home Economics or Horticulture? Maybe we can have a late lunch.

We no longer have a show home. It is part of the price we pay for our home education curriculum materials. One of the more expensive resources is not only costly, but is hard to find, and we use lots of it for our programme every day. It is called time. Time spent with our children means time NOT spent with the other (perishable) things that clutter up our lives. We are sinners when we value our things more than we value our children.

This is not to say we are not to value things.....the seventh Commandment assumes the propriety and necessity of personal private property. The Lord’s parables commend good stewardship of physical property. But there is such a thing as getting our priorities out of order and then getting impatient and frustrated with the children (a top priority) when their requirements interfere with our attention to our property (a low priority).

Yes, we know we are frail, imperfect creatures. In fact, we do at times feel deserving of pity. We do receive, and desperately need, the Lord’s pity (Psalm 103:13), for if He were to deal with us as our sins deserve, we would be lost (Psalm 130:3). Do we then extend such pity, or even as much as empathy and understanding, to the unbelievers with whom we have to deal? Are they not even MORE worthy of pity? If we are frail and imperfect, we who are indwelt by God’s Holy Spirit, who have a knowledge of the Scriptures, who are upheld in prayer by other saints, how about those whose very lives are suspended above the fiery furnace by the thinnest of threads and every moment in danger of plunging forever into its abyss should the Lord remove for an instant His mercifully sustaining hand?

Well did our Lord bid us to pray for our enemies, for they need it more than we! When we feel put down by callous neighbours, slighted by disapproving relations or intimidated by Review Officers....it should remind us of our most privileged position in Christ, and stir us to send up fervent prayers for their salvation.

May He Who has called us from the dominion of darkness into His marvellous light guide us into conduct so becoming to the Gospel, that they may see our good works and give glory to our Father in heaven.

The fool says in his heart, "There is no God."                                                                                                           -- Psalm 14: 1

I just started at Massey University as a full-time student (taking three papers this semester). The main motivation was to receive the mature student's allowance, which along with family support is our main income. Let me tell you, doing the reading required for my classes as well as editing KEYSTONE and TEACH is a bit more than I had anticipated.

However, the first day in our Philosophy of Education class, the professor, Dr John Clark, wanting to let us know where he is coming from stated: "I am a materialist. I have no time for gods or souls or metaphysics." I appreciated him doing that. However, I now am concerned that I am not going to get any value for the fees I paid to attend that course. Why? Because, where the Bible says the FOOL says in his HEART "There is no God," this professor said it out loud!

But after three weeks of it,  I have found that all my other lecturers and the theorists whose writings I have to read, are all of the same ilk.  Bronfenbrenner and Vygotsky are busy constructing theories of human development. Because they believe we are really only animals that walk on two legs and possess sophisticated language skills, we develop according to our biology, our environment and the socio-historical contexts in which we live. The God of the universe does not get a look in! Hirst, Lloyd, Langford et a1 may try to divide knowledge into subjects or integrate them into fields, but first they have to overcome the hurdles of "Why do this anyway?", "What is the purpose of education?", "What constitutes an educated person?", "What, in fact, constitutes a person ?"....and they do not get over these hurdles because they do not have a comprehensive integrated philosophy of life. Once again, God, the Author of life, the Omniscient One Who has revealed to us mortals pure truth in the Bible, is totally ignored or assumed to be irrelevant! In other words, they offer their pickings, what they have concluded as a result of many years of thinking about it. It is like letting someone else fill your plate at a smorgasbord: some of the stuff looks good, some looks terrible, and altogether it is rather unappealing.

This is especially so for us Christians, on whom our God, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ has had mercy. He has revealed to us the comprehensive truth about this whole universe, from the reasons for evil and death, to the meaning of pain, to the purpose of it all:

He has revealed these things to us in the Bible. We know who we are. We know why we are here. We know where we are going. Yet none of my professors can answer any of these questions!

As a further Scripture says. "Knowledge puffs up ..." (I Corinthians 8:l). It is so easy to gain so much book knowledge as to put to shame many of your peers. It really isn't that difficult, in fact. We can instruct our children so as to appear to be geniuses. Just get them to learn to count to ten in four languages, memorize four or five salvation verses with references, learn the first line of the periodic table, and all the bones of the body, and be able to name and place all the capitals of all the countries of Europe on a blank map. That would take maybe two weeks to learn if you had no other projects going. People would be amazed! But what do they really know? What wisdom has been imparted as a result of this learning?

We home schoolers must beware of imparting facts as if they were separate from the Creator of all facts. We must beware of our children gaining knowledge apart from the Biblical framework which tells us all knowledge is for the specific reasons of:

1) Bringing glory to God by revealing the wonders of His creation (I Corinthians 10:31);

2 ) Extending His sovereignty over every square inch of His creation through our stewardship in Christian dominion over it (Genesis 1:28):

3) Bringing the lost rebels of His creation, our fellow human beings, created in His image, back into fellowship with Him through the message and the ministry of reconciliation through the Cross of Christ    (II Corinthians 5:17-20).

God has given us at least these three reasons for learning, for becoming educated, for engaging in home schooling. This is something you can sink your teeth into; this encompasses all subjects of the curriculum and every other field of endeavour as well; this will keep you going all your life; this makes the state's reasons for educating, "To produce good citizens who can get worthwhile and fulfilling jobs and help make the world a better place to live", look like a bad joke.

Because me know God, and that He is totally Sovereign over every atom in the universe, and because we know what He is going to do in the future, we Christian home schoolers take the education of our children very seriously ... it is educating both for time and for eternity.  My professors at Massey CANNOT take education as seriously as we do, for they do not have the eternal aspect in their thinking. I delight in the knowledge that virtually all of us Christian home schoolers can say along with the Psalmist:

"I have more understanding than all my teachers (at Massey), for Your testimonies are my meditation. "   --Psalm 119:99

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

--II Timothy 3:16-17

To start with, I looked up that first word, "all" in the original Greek. Do you know what it means? It means, "All"! God inspired every word of Scripture, including the 2/3 known as the Old Testament. The term "Old" there doesn't mean obsolete or out of date. Could we use those terms in describing God or His Word? No way! I've heard some say that unless God's Word is re-confirmed in the New Testament, it is no longer binding. I've heard others say that unless the New Testament specifically overrules a portion of the Old Testament, then it still stands! That second option sounds a lot more like what you would expect to find in the word of the Almighty, Omniscient, Eternal God. ... Why should He repeat Himself? (See also Matt 4:4).

Notice what God's Word is profitable for: keeping us on the trail of Righteousness (doctrine), slapping our wrists when we stray from the trail (reproof), showing us how to get back on the trail (correction), and training us to stay put! So keep your nose in that Book!

Now, apart from the obvious meaning of the phrase "complete, thoroughly equipped" I decided to look up that word "every" in the original Greek. Do you know what it means? It means "every".  Is performing brain surgery a good work? Sure is. Is building a bridge a good work? You bet. How about breeding a better quality wool onto the backs of sheep? Of course. Do you think even the tasks of collecting the garbage and sweeping the streets would fall into the category of "every good work"? Undeniably they would. "Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (I Corinthians 10:31)

While the Bible does not give us all the facts with which we may perform brain surgery to the glory of God, it does give us the TRUTH about all facts so that we are thereby enabled to perform brain surgery to the glory of God. As the Lord Jesus said in John 8:31-32, "If you abide in my word, you are my disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." Not free to do your own thing. But free from the deceitfulness of sin, "lest anyone should cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ." (Colossians 2:8) Once set free from this kind of thing you are now ABLE to do all to the glory of God.

As an example of this principle, journalists and authors who are not committed to serving the God of truth and grace will begin to serve themselves by using their writing skills to produce whatever will sell or promote their position or denigrate their opposition. The medical researcher not committed to serving the God of health and healing will begin to use his skills to generate endless income and notoriety from innumerable experiments, outlandish projects, and sensational (though almost always provisional) results. Or he may just go the route of becoming part of the abortion industry and simply murder for money. The manufacturer who is not committed to the God of excellence and stewardship will use cheaper materials and even build in faults and obsolescence to ensure repeat business for himself.

So really, Christians should not be asking how it is that the Scriptures can have a vital bearing on every educational discipline and every occupational qualification; rather, Christians should be asking how they themselves could possibly do ALL to the glory of God WlTHOUT a thoroughly Scriptural perspective on every area of human endeavour. The fact that most Christians perceive a spiritual realm in which Jesus is Lord, as well as a secular realm of work, economics, politics, etc., shows that these Christians do not believe that Jesus is Lord of all, but only of part. Apart from the fact that you may not smoke, drink, gamble or cuss, if your politics, your economics, your concepts of social welfare, education and medicine are the same as the non-Christian down the street, then either your faith is irrelevant to this life on earth, or else you have been trained in such a way that you believe that you are a Christian when in fact you think and act like a pagan.

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him."  (Proverbs 22:15).

This is foundational. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked." Children are NOT blank tapes who learn evil from elders. They do not pick up sin from the environment: it is in their (our) hearts from conception (See Psalm 51:5). Children are NOT little bundles of innocence: they are little bundles of depravity and can develop into unrestrained agents of evil unless trained and disciplined according to God's Word. It is essential to be totally convinced of this truth in order to understand and effectively deal with our children's misbehaviour. Selfishness, violence, lying, cheating, stealing and other such behaviour are just the child unpacking some of this foolishness from the vast store in his heart.

Our verse tells us that the rod of correction will drive these manifestations of foolishness out of the child's personality lest they become permanent fixtures. "He who spares his rod hates his son." (Proverbs 13:24). Because foolishness is bound up in the child's heart, if it is not driven out, the child grows up to be a big fool. Foolishness in a child is often seen as cute and funny....in an adult it is no longer cute, but literally as ugly as sin. For a parent to allow that to happen to his child is, as the Bible tells us, to hate the child.

Let us look at this term "the rod of correction". Note that it is for correction, not punishment. Although spankings are referred to as corporal punishment, I do not believe this is Biblical. Spankings are corporal correction, driving out tbe foolishness. Punishment is God's domain. If we set out to punish our children, the Bible tells us that there is only one proper penalty for sin: death. That is why Jesus diedon the cross, to pay the penalty of death for sin. Now, the Bible also specifically forbids parents from executing the judgment of death upon their own children, even when they deserve it. Read Deuteronomy 21:18-21. For comment on this passage let me quote from R.J. Rushdoony's Institutes of Biblical Law, page 360. "First, the parents are to be complaining witnesses against their criminal son. The loyalty of the parents must thus be to God's law-order, not to ties of blood. If the parents do not assist in the prosecution of a criminal child, they are then accessories to the crime. Second, contrary to the usual custom, whereby witnesses led in the execution, in this case, 'the men of the city' did. Thus, where the death penalty was involved, the family was excluded from the execution of the law. "

The objective is to correct our children, not to punish them.

Now note that it is "the rod" which is to drive out the foolishness. Why a rod? Psalm 23, everybody's favourite, says in verse 4, "Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." How does the rod comfort here? By being an instrument of protection. It is also an instrument or symbol of authority: proper, legal authority which is always a comfort because of its protective value. Revelation 227 says, "He shall rule them with a rod of iron." The rod is like a scepter, a symbol of authority. Now when giving a spank, our verse recommends a rod. Using the hand may not be the best. Our hands should be used to minister love and provision, while a separate instrument, the very sight of which can remind children that there is a law in effect, can be used to administer the spank. We use something which is smooth and flexible: not as flexible as a belt with a buckle which is too difficult to control, not as inflexible as a piece of timber, not as lumpy as timber with corners or a tree branch with buds and knots. We give one spank across the buttocks per offense. It stings plenty, but only for a few seconds , and does no damage. We are careful not to spank the legs or back, and of course never aim to smack head or little hands whose bones and joints are too easy to damage. If the child is in nappies, the nappies get removed before the spank. Once the child is out of nappies, we smack through trousers or skirt: they do not need the humiliation of removing their clothes.

There is much more to be said about the proper use of the rod of correction which will be covered in future issues of Keystone. Key points are: Spank with a rod, not with words, consistently, for disobedience, until it hurts, in private, without anger, instantly, with love, for the child's best good. May God give us the courage and wisdom required to discharge our duty as parents toward our children.

From Keystone Magazine
November 1995 , Vol. 1 No. 5
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

"Then God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'" - Genesis 1:28 

The Word of God tells us that the first thing God did after creating us was to bless us....and look how He blessed us: by giving us work to do. Work is a blessing. Sometimes it seems like a curse, but you know why that is, don't you? God gave us this blessed task before the Fall (recorded in Genesis 3) and ever since then, because God has cursed the ground (not us) because of our sin, the work has been a lot more difficult. And men have been trying to get out of doing the required work ever since. To work smarter rather than harder, to become more efficient, divide the labour among ourselves, invent labour saving devices is all perfectly legitimate. But to look at work itself as a necessary curse is to be less than thankful to God for the blessing of the work with which He blessed us. Remember, the problem is our sin, not God's organisation of the world we live in.

Now the implications for us home schoolers is that we must teach our children to enjoy work for the blessing that it was originally intended to be. If our attitude to our 9 to 5 job or our housework or the yardwork or car maintenance is lousy, so will our children's attitude toward work be lousy. If we threaten our children's misbehaviour with giving them extra work to do, what does that communicate about how we view work? Our culture is already full of laziness and sloth, even to common farewell slogans such as, "Take it easy," or "Don't work too hard," so we should be endeavouring to mirror God's standards rather than slipping into the world's mould.

The Fourth Commandment talks about the Sabbath, but introduces it by another command, "Six days you shall labour and do all your work." If we or our children (whose lives we have completely taken into our hands by deciding to home school them), if either of us is to fulfill this very first task God assigned (which was repeated to Noah at the end of the Flood, and by our Lord Jesus in a fuller form in Matthew 28:18-20 and repeated by Paul in II Corinthians 5:18-20), then we must put off our old selves with their anti-Christian anti-work attitudes, and put on the new nature of Christ.

Allow your children to see and hear you revelling in a job well done. Allow them to help you, even though it is a pain, and takes so much longer. But you can put your hands on those of your child and guide them through the task. What a marvellous opportunity! Allow them to see your concern that whatever task you do, you are committed to doing it well, to the best of your ability. Remember, before Christ redeemed us, we were UNABLE to work as we ought, that is, to work for the glory of our God and our Saviour/Redeemer. So now that we are saved, praise God, let's get stuck in and make up for lost time! Is not our God worthy of our best?

Cursed be that old kiwi attitude you sometimes hear in the workplace when the boss isn't around: "Near enough is good enough." Not so for us Christians. "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men." (Colossians 3:23.) Our children are watching us,as well as God. He will call us to account for our actions, having already poured out His wrath for our lousy work habits and all the rest upon His perfect Son. But our children just might pick up our negative habits and repeat them all over again. Let it not be so! Christ redeemed us parents from the pit that we might spare our children our mistakes and  instead give them a roaring head start so they can bring far more honour to Him than we ever even think about. "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. " (Matthew 5:16).    

From Keystone Magazine
September 1995 , Vol. 1 No. 4
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz

"Hear 0 Israel : The LORD our God, the LORD is one! YOU shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command YOU today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.'' --Deuteronomy 6:4-7

The teacher must have the Word of God in his heart. As a matter of fact, the teacher qualifications in the Bible, and those to which we Christian Home Schoolers should automatically subscribe, are far tougher than any College of Education has ever dared to propose. The teacher must first have the Lord as his God. Do the teachers at the public schools who teach your child have the Lord as their God?

Second , the teacher must love the Lord his God with everything he's got. Do even the Christian teachers at the public schools who teach your children love Him like that? Are they even legally allowed to acknowledge or demonstrate such love for God within the state classroom? Do you love the Lord your God like that? Well, really none of us does. That is why we must continually confess our sins and receive again His assurance of forgiveness. But we should all be working toward loving Him more consistently and completely and with everything we've got.

Next this Scripture says that the teacher is to teach the children God's Word diligently at all times and in every situation. This eliminates the classroom as a proper teaching environment. Teaching is to be done in the context of everyday life. Only parents can do that. They can work as a team, and the children can see the proper way for a man and his wife to behave toward one another, demonstrate affection toward one another, support one another in the running of the house, the earning of the income, the education and training and discipline of the children. It is a 24-hour-a-day process and it takes place in the reality of the home, the community and the marketplace as they go about their day-to-day routines together. It is an education in the real world and will obviously prepare children for the real world. And those silly home schooling critics say WE are the ones sheltering children from the real world!!

It is the responsibility, then, of parents to educate their own children. To delegate the teaching task to another is not forbiden. But neither is it commended. The problem with delegation of this particular task is that it removes from the parents some of their responsibility. As this responsibility passes to another, the school teacher for example, some of the parents' authority over their children automatically passes over as well. This is a fact of life. If you carry ALL responsibility in an area, you also carry ALL authority in that area. If you share the responsibility, you also share the authority.

The children in a school are now expected to obey not only Mum and Dad but also every teacher at school, even those who hold views and values at variance with the parents. Parents also take pot-luck with whatever peer group socialisation agenda that happens to operate within the classroom and on the playground of that particular school.

To put it in terms of stark reality, sending five and six year olds away from home for six hours a day may cause them:

a) to feel rejected by their parents;

b) to look to the peer group (class mates) for security and acceptance;

c) to become confused as to who is the role model he should be following;

d) to divide their loyalties among competing authorities;

e) to develop self-defensive coping strategies based on the "survival of the fittest" philosophy that may operate on the playgroud;

f) to develop a split personality, adopting one set of behavioural parametres at home and a different set at school;

g) to develop tension and stress-related illnesses and hyperactivity because of the constant noise levels, interruptions, confusions, and competitions within the classroom.

These problems are virtually unknown within the home schooling situation. Mum and Dad are constantly on hand to demonstrate their love and assure the child of their commitment to him. They can train the siblings to likewise love and support other members of the family. The one set of role models, the one authority is constantly before them reinforcing their own standards and values. The environment of the Christian home is at the opposite end of the philosophical spectrum from the evolutionist "survival of the fittest" idea. Behavioural standards of the home, the home school and the church all reinforce rather than contradict one another. ("The LORD is One...") And the tensions and logistics problems of a classroom of 25-30 mixed ability children from just as many backgrounds just do not exist in the home.

In may ways, home schooling will help us all bring our lives more in line with Scripture.

From Keystone Magazine
July 1995 , Vol. 1 No. 3
P O Box 9064
Palmerston North
Phone: (06) 357-4399
Fax: (06) 357-4389
email: craig@hef.org.nz