I wanted to encourage some of you new homeschoolers with strong-willed children. My oldest, Kayleigh, is very, very strong willed. It is a trait that challenged me as a parent, but I am thankful for now that she is an adult. This was a child who had to choose her own clothing as young as 18 months old. I could hold up two dresses and she would choose one, but if I had just pulled the exact dress out of the drawer and tried to help her get dressed, you would have thought you were watching WWIII. By 8 when we started homeschooling, she had been through 6 yrs of Montessori training (and so had I), but I still didn't know how we were going to make it. When I said the sky was blue she had to say no, it is azure or cerulean. It drove me nuts! That was 12 years ago and she has thanked me many times over for having the courage to homeschool her.

Things that really helped us, I would ask "do you want to do spelling or writing now?" or "do you want to write with a pencil or on the chalkboard?" somehow I worked what I needed her to do into a question that had an answer that was acceptable to both of us. I also relied on the Montessori idea of self-correcting whenever possible. Even with that there was very little independent written work until she was almost 11-12.

With Athena, she was independent from day one! As long as she knew what I wanted finished before the end of the day and I trusted her to do it, she was a happy camper.

Then with Nathan at 14 I still work very closely with him on many subjects because he has to talk it all out. I don't "do" much except sit and listen to his thoughts. Occasionally I will take notes while he talks so he can do type up his reports and essay. He couldn't work independently and quietly if his life depended on it. I guess he can, because he did make it through the 4 hour ACT tests, but he said it was the worse experience of his life. And if he wants to succeed at the Youth Preforming Arts School he has chosen to attend he better figure out quickly how to work quietly and independently.

With all three of them I made sure they understood education is something they do for themselves, not something I do to them. They educate themselves, I hopefully encourage and inspire, but it is their responsibility not mine. I model my own education, by reading with them, writing with them, building with them, doing puzzles with them, cooking with them, but I make sure they know I am doing it for me just like they should be doing it for themselves. People who visit here are amazed when they see the same kids (5 to 19) listening to Dr. Seuss as are listening to Beowulf and discussing both as literary works regardless of their age.

Kids love to mimic adult behavior. If you write, they will write, if you do housework they will do housework, if you read out loud, they will listen. It might be a like the scene in Tom Sawyer-- by studying yourself, you are naturally inviting them to study too.

I had very few good "teacher" models to draw from and I had been told all my life a parent can't teach their own child. It helped me to think of myself as a fellow student instead of a teacher. Then that evolved into a mentor as the kids got older and we invited others to study with us. In my 12 years of homeschooling I have learned much more than I did in my 12 years of schooling and my 5 years of college (even though I had a great college experience).  So, relax and hang in there! You guys are so far ahead of where I was when I started!!!! I envy you these years, they are gone way to quickly.