I remember when I was a teen, I would occasionally be asked to go places or do things with my friends that I knew I was better off not doing...but who wants to look uncool?  MUCH better if I could blame it on my mom, right? So I'd call and ask, and she, being the great Mom that she was could usually tell if I really wanted to go or if I was looking for a way out, and with no questions asked, she would tell me "no."   I've already had the experience of having our 16 year old foster son do the same thing, and it was great.

Now, as an adult do i still need to hide behind my Mommy? No, of course not.  But what about my husband?  Remember those things that we do just to fit in?  What about the times when we don't/can't do them?  Do we "blame" our husbands?

Of course our husbands are our protectors, I'm not talking about that. I'm not even talking about telling the telemarketers that "my husband makes financial decisions."

I'm talking about when we are in a hen-fest and someone brings up...school choices, or medical choices, or food choices, or church choices...and much to our horror... we realize that we are active participants in whatever choice is getting bashed today.

What to do? Sadly shake our head and blame it on our husband of course. "I know, using 10W30 in the lawnmower is just awful, but that is what my husband chooses to do... I'm praying for him to see the light, but until then, I have to be submissive."

Whew, got out of THAT one pretty darned slick, didn't I?  Except....maybe it is true, maybe I do wish hubby had made a different decision, but aren't we ONE?  Aren't I his partner? Is it honoring to him or to his reputation to make him be the scapegoat about something that is not sinful, and no one's business anyway? 

Which would I rather have?  the "sympathy" of a bunch of women because I'm such a martyr to my unreasonable husband and his lawnmower oil?  Or the knowledge that my man makes the best decisions that he can for our family and I'm proud enough of him to stand up and say so?

more tomorrow.... the purpose of the greenhouse!