• Oct. 12, 2006
Catching Up Part 2
She actually tried to bribe us to send the girls to public school.
Amazing. It was our last day at the beach. I'd brought the check for the rent, but had forgotten to give it to her until we were packing to leave. When I handed her the check, she told me, "I'll give this back to you if you will send the girls to school tomorrow."
I can't really remember what I said, except to repeat some of the things I'd mentioned to her before. My poor dh, who does not think quickly in situations like this, was silent for a few minutes. He finally ended the discussion by reminding his mother that he had made his decision and wasn't going to change his mind.
She left the cabin to take the dog for a walk, but when she returned, I could tell she had been crying.
A part of me felt very badly that she was so upset about this. On the other hand, after all the other "weird" things we do (more than 2 children, homebirthing, non-vaxing, non-circumsizing, extended breastfeeding, sheltering our children from most "kids" movies, no halloween or santa clause or tooth fairy, etc etc) how is it that this thing, homeschooling, was the thing she was most concerned about?
In the month since then, we've continued our relationship much the same as it was before...except there is this area now that we avoid. But our oldest dd, who is 7, loves to send Grandma the copywork she does and I did let it slip the other day about how fun our math sessions at breakfast are.
Another interesting sidebar to this situation came to my attention recently. My dh's cousin and his wife live nearby. They have two young children. His mom is the family schoolteacher...retired...but very anti-homeschooling. My MIL stayed with them in Ohio and I'm sure discussed this situation many times. (Remember, my MIL was in Ohio when dh told her he had decided to homeschool after all and she threatened to raise our rent.)
So, when that whole drama was unfolding, I happened to talk with my dh's cousins' wife and told her what was happening. She was appalled. It turns out that she told her dh about it, who told his dad (my MIL's brother) who promptly told his sister to "back off". I'm sure he was a major factor in convincing my MIL to step back from trying to control us through the price of our rent.
Then, a few weeks later, the cousin and his wife, who have decided to send their oldest to a private school, turned down an offer from his parents to help pay the tuition. She (the cousins wife) said: "I don't want them to think they have any say in how we educate our children. I'm not sure how we will afford this every year, but we will manage."
Hmmm, I guess this independant streak is spreading!
Comments
• Oct. 13, 2006
Untitled Comment
Posted by mumof5
Just wanted to say hi and let you know I've been checking in once in awhile to see how you're doing. Boy - that's rough with your MIL. I don't think any of our families (my parents, dh's mom and stepdad and his bio dad) are thrilled with the hsing - but they mostly don't comment (except his dad gave us a tongue lashing a couple months ago - but he was ill and on morphine at the time). You'll really have to have some backbone with her around!
• Oct. 26, 2006
Untitled Comment
Posted by KimMurphy
Found you this morning through random blogging. My heart goes out to you in this difficult family situation. I forget to be thankful that my side of the family, at least, is supportive, and my husband's side...well, they have the good grace to zip their lips.
Congratulations on your new little one. I will be praying for your situation, that your MIL has a change of heart. Remember, the proof is in the pudding. And it may take a little while for her to see it, or admit it, but your children will gently convince her (without even intending to), that this family-first lifestyle is causing them to blossom! My prayer is for her epiphany!
