• Nov. 9, 2006
Homeschooling Frustrations
My oldest child (girl age 7) is challenging me in so many ways and I just want to scream and cry and throw things. I'm already crying and I would be screaming if I weren't gritting my teeth together.
I just don't know what to do. We were sitting down for school today. We have swimming lessons on Thursday mornings, so we do school during naptime. We spent some time doing money math, using a big jar of coins, finding different ways to get to 32 cents or a dollar, etc. Lots of fun, everyone enjoyed that.
Then it was time to move onto our Thanksgiving unit study. We're keeping it simple, doing about half the recommended stuff each day. Mainly, we focusing on the why and how people lived during those early years. We're reading books and talking about them. Pretty simple.
Until I asked the girls to copy a verse. Psalm 100:4b. Be thankful unto Him and bless His name. Both girls wrote it once without trouble. But when I asked my 7 yo to rewrite it, she refused. Her first attempt had several small technique errors, especially with the letter "s". She really wants to move onto learning cursive, but I won't do that until her printing is better. NOT perfect, just better.
So, she refused. I tried explaining why I wanted her to do this. I invoked Bible verses on obedience. I told her that she would either do her schoolwork as I asked or do chores instead. But all she would do is sit there and pout/whine/cry.
Well, I lost it, my temper, that is. I can blame having a temper on my genes (from both parents), but that is no excuse to lose it. I snatched her paper away, wadded it up and threw it away. And sent her outside, in a light rain, to bring up the garbage and recycling bins from the alley. I plan to keep her busy doing chores for at least an hour.
Of course, then she was all willing to do it. But this kind of thing has happened before and she should know by now that I will not "go back". Once I've started the consequence, it's too late.
Ugh, I just feel like such a failure. I have both my husband and my MIL breathing down my neck to show "results". Our baby is due in 8 weeks, my MIL will be staying here for a few days and I want to be able to show her how much we've done this year. At this rate, it'll be about a months work to show for 4 months of school time.
All this child wants to do is read. And I give her plenty of time and books to do that. But reading is not the only part of learning, we all know that.
It comes down to this: how do I get this child to do what she doesn't want to? And yes, this happens in other areas, too, like chores and piano practice. But we have a work for food rule here (no dinner until chores are done) and her piano teacher is quick to notice when a lack of practicing is obvious. In other words, the other areas seem to have clear consequences. What can I do about not doing schoolwork when asked?? How do I figure out what motivates her??
Comments
• Nov. 10, 2006
Untitled Comment
Posted by mumof5
I can relate. I've had those worst mom in the world moment (I optimistically think they are lessening as I do this for more years.) I look back with my oldest (who is still my toughest) and wonder how he could turn me to a blubbering, insane mess when he was only 3 (he's almost 10 now). I joke that when he turns 20 I'm going to smack him upside his head for all those years of grief - lol! When he's old enough we can laugh about it.
As far as school work - if there is a pattern of giving me grief - then my kids lose something they value (in my house it's often computer time, etc) until I get 3 full days of no griping or giving me trouble about school work. This is pretty effective I think. They have to earn that fun thing back.
I had one question though - why did she have to rewrite the whole thing instead of correcting the individual mistakes? Just be careful not to create overly frustrating experiences. But if in general she is giving you grief - then I'd suggest the above.
hth
• Nov. 16, 2006
Whatever it takes!!
Posted by RobinKelly
Just sounds like a battle of the wills to me. I think you need to find ways to win her heart before you try to enforce obedience. My husband always preaches "discipline without love equals rebellion." You've got so many years to teach her "stuff" but not enough years to win her heart. That's what your focus should be. And don't worry about what others think of how much you've accomplished. There are thousands of highly intelligent children out there in our world. But what makes a child stand out among her peers is CHARACTER. And that comes from the heart. So... win her heart. Do whatever it takes! God will show you how...
• Dec. 21, 2006
Untitled Comment
Posted by Anonymous
Just checking in. Your baby is due in Jan right? How are you doing?
