• Nov. 9, 2006
Homeschooling Frustrations

My oldest child (girl age 7) is challenging me in so many ways and I just want to scream and cry and throw things.  I'm already crying and I would be screaming if I weren't gritting my teeth together. 

I just don't know what to do.  We were sitting down for school today.  We have swimming lessons on Thursday mornings, so we do school during naptime.  We spent some time doing money math, using a big jar of coins, finding different ways to get to 32 cents or a dollar, etc.  Lots of fun, everyone enjoyed that.

Then it was time to move onto our Thanksgiving unit study.  We're keeping it simple, doing about half the recommended stuff each day.  Mainly, we focusing on the why and how people lived during those early years.  We're reading books and talking about them.  Pretty simple.

Until I asked the girls to copy a verse.  Psalm 100:4b.  Be thankful unto Him and bless His name.  Both girls wrote it once without trouble.  But when I asked my 7 yo to rewrite it, she refused.  Her first attempt had several small technique errors, especially with the letter "s". She really wants to move onto learning cursive, but I won't do that until her printing is better.  NOT perfect, just better.

So, she refused.  I tried explaining why I wanted her to do this.  I invoked Bible verses on obedience.  I told her that she would either do her schoolwork as I asked or do chores instead.  But all she would do is sit there and pout/whine/cry.

Well, I lost it, my temper, that is.  I can blame having a temper on my genes (from both parents), but that is no excuse to lose it.  I snatched her paper away, wadded it up and threw it away.  And sent her outside, in a light rain, to bring up the garbage and recycling bins from the alley.  I plan to keep her busy doing chores for at least an hour.

Of course, then she was all willing to do it.  But this kind of thing has happened before and she should know by now that I will not "go back".  Once I've started the consequence, it's too late.

Ugh, I just feel like such a failure.  I have both my husband and my MIL breathing down my neck to show "results".  Our baby is due in 8 weeks, my MIL will be staying here for a few days and I want to be able to show her how much we've done this year.  At this rate, it'll be about a months work to show for 4 months of school time.

All this child wants to do is read.  And I give her plenty of time and books to do that.  But reading is not the only part of learning, we all know that. 

It comes down to this:  how do I get this child to do what she doesn't want to?  And yes, this happens in other areas, too, like chores and piano practice.  But we have a work for food rule here (no dinner until chores are done) and her piano teacher is quick to notice when a lack of practicing is obvious.  In other words, the other areas seem to have clear consequences.  What can I do about not doing schoolwork when asked??  How do I figure out what motivates her??

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• Jul. 26, 2006
Standing Strong in Faith

Well, the homeschooling saga continues.

Dean told his mother this morning of his decision to homeschool.  (I was at the midwife's at the time.)  She is currently in Ohio, dealing with the passing away of her mother, and while it may not have been the best time to tell her, Dean has been so stressed over when and how to say it, it's for the best that she knows.

At first, he says, she just said "I see" or something similar.  But then she called back about 10 minutes later and basically said that since we had made a decision that she doesn't approve of, she was going to raise our rent...so that she is not supporting that decision monetarily.  ugh.  This is exactly what we thought and feared would happen.  She said she would let us know the new amount...

It's very frustrating, this feeling that she is trying to control our parenting decisions with her wallet.  But at the same time, I'm so proud of my husband for standing up and doing what he thinks is the right thing to do.  We think she is hoping that I will feel compelled to go work outside the home to pay the extra rent.  What she doesn't seem to understand is that Dean and I have discussed the issue of me working for pay outside the home and every time, Dean has said no, he wants me home.  (For that matter, I want to be home!) 

As far as extra income goes, there are a couple of options.  The first is that I am a consultant for Usborne Books...I signed up mainly to get cheaper books for my family and friends, not to really make money.  But I could start nagging all my friends to host shows, hand out my cards to everyone I meet, etc.  The other obvious thing would be babysitting.  I'd love to have a preschooler who would play with ds3yo a few days a week, keeping him busy while I do school with the older girls.  That would be easier than doing book parties and could easily bring in several hundred dollars a month.

Of course, this whole situation is held gently in the Lord's hands.  He will provide for our needs and *all*  we need to do is remain strong in our faith. We will be praying to see the Lord's good in this trouble.  I'm praying that through this, Dean's faith in the Lord and His Provision is greatly increased.  And if anyone else would pray for us...thank you very much.

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• Jul. 17, 2006
My Trust is Rewarded

My prayers are being answered!!  My husband told me this morning that he has decided we SHOULD homeschool!!  PRAISE THE LORD!!!  After the roller coaster of the last six weeks, my heart is so light, I feel like I could be floating!

There are, of course, several challenges still to overcome.  The biggest is my mother-in-law.  My husband is understandably less than eager to talk to her about this decision.  And to further complicate the situation, her mother (my hubby's grandmother) who is 93, suffered a major stroke late last week and is not expected to live.  She has a living will that states no life support, etc and since she is not aware of anything, she is not eating...the doctors say it will be less than two weeks.  This was very sudden, GG was in good health and we were expecting her to come (from OH here to WA) for a visit in just three weeks.  So in the midst of that turmoil for my mother in law, my husband has to decide when and how to tell her about his decision.

Another challenge is what she might do.  Before all this, the thought of her being revengful towards us over anything would never have crossed my mind.  But now, I do wonder.  We rent our house from her at less than market value.  She pays for our dd6yo's piano lessons.  She had recently suggested she would pay for a ymca membership, so we could enroll dd4yo in dance, and both older girls in swimming.  The extras we could live without, I might even be able to continue the piano lessons for the girls myself, but the big worry is the rent. 

Then I remember, I trust the Lord for EVERYTHING!  If she raises the rent or even asks us to leave, the Lord will provide.  I don't need to worry about this or anything else she might do. 

All I need to do now is start preparing for a new school year!!  We had previously planned to use My Father's World, but now I'm considering a more eclectic approach.  I will gather some resources and talk to my hubby, and let him decide. :)   I know I want to focus on character/obedience, Bible lessons (basic OT history), reading, math (especially money and time, plus basic addition & subtraction), writing for ddwill-be7yo, and housekeeping training.  I think I can gather resources for these things for far less money than buying a packaged curriculum, which will definately please my hubby!

Thanks to everyone who prayed for us.  I'm still praying that my MIL will come to see that homeschooling is really the best possible education for our children.  It might take a few years, but I know that Lord will answer this prayer, too!!

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• Jun. 18, 2006
Defeated

I am no longer a homeschooler. My mother-in-law has told my husband that homeschooling is too much work for me, it is not a good enough education, that our children will have no ability to live in the real world when they are grown.  He has told me this weekend that he was never as excited about homeschooling as me, that public school didn't "hurt" him (not true) and that he thinks I underestimated the time committment of hs'ing (also not true).  We have had many arguments over the past week, and I am giving up, submitting, surrendering.  It's not worth my marriage to continue to fight for this.  In the fall, my precious children will be back in public school.

So if I'm quiet for a few weeks, it's because I don't know what to say. I don't know if I belong here anymore.  I really feel like a ship without a rudder, because the course of my life for the next 20 odd years has been yanked away from me.

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• May. 15, 2006
Decisions, Decisions aka Curriculum 06-07

Being new to homeschooling, I am just a TAD overwhelmed at the many choices for curriculum.  And the more I read, the more confused I could become.  But I'm beginning to narrow it down.

To start with, I have no idea what learning styles my children use.  This reminds me of when a new mom is told she will soon learn to distinguish her babies cries:  hungry, wet, tired, mad.  It always takes me forever to figure it out.  Maybe it will be the same with learning styles.

Next, I know I need something simple.  To put it bluntly, I'm lazy.  You might be surprised to hear that.  My IRL friends would be, because I can put on a good show.  But anyone dropping by my house and seeing a week's worth of unfolded laundry piled on my couch would begin to suspect.  So I need a curriculum which does most or all of the planning for me. 

Then, I need something that is somewhat self-directed.  Only my two oldest children will be hs'ing next year and I will have a rambunctious 3 yo boy and a 18 mo toddler to contend with, plus a new baby at the first of the year.  I do know my girls like workbooks, where I can read the directions for them and they can do the work on their own, then I check it.

So, I'm going to get My Father's World. The second grade for dd#1, and after prayer and thinking, kindegarten for dd#2.

That was quite a thought process.  DD#2 is 4, she'll be 5 next month, but she is already reading well at a first/second grade level.  She is academically gifted, but still only almost 5.  Still, I really contemplated putting her straight into first grade.  But after reading about other parents with similar children and the advice they received on the message boards at MFW, I decided to go ahead and do kindegarten and just supplement the reading with many of the dozens of early reader books we are quickly accumulating.  Besides, then we get to do the butterfly thing, which my children will LOVE.

Then she can do first grade, to get her writing and math skills up to speed and then I will re-evaluate whether to do second grade or skip to third.  I fully expect that these two girls will graduate from high school at the same time.

So, it's MFW for the core, and now the very tricky part:  math.  Picking a math curriculum worries me.  I feel like it is really important to pick the right one (for us) now and not be changing down the road.  Of course, the trouble is, without knowing what kind of learners my daughters are, I'm not sure what kind of curriculum will work best.  Plus I'm on a tight budget.  We will have to use whatever I get next year, whether we like it or not.  I won't be able to afford to switch.

MFW recommend Singapore Math.  Which sounds intense for liberal arts me, but the lessons are part of the MFW teacher's guide and that would be nice.  My other thought is Math U See.  It's just so hard to choose. 

At this point, I'm basically waiting for the Washington HS Convention next month to look more closely at these two and maybe one or two others, then I'll hopefully be informed enough to make a good choice.

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• Mar. 14, 2006
A Loving Bond

One of the many reasons I considered when thinking about homeschooling was the desire to grow strong relationships between my children.  It seemed they spent most of their time together squabbling.  This is how I spent my childhood with my sister and now we have at best a distant relationship.  I wanted better for my children.

So, this morning, day 2 of homeschool, after the girls finished their chores and while I did a little email reading, they disappeared upstairs, along with their almost 3 yo brother.  I thought for sure I'd hear protesting by someone within a few minutes.  Generally, the girls can't stand their brother's often bothersome behavior.

But as time went by and quiet reigned above, my mommy radar went on alert.  Too quiet.  So I went up to check it out. And was wonderfully surprised.

The children had made a fort on the bottom bunk bed and inside my oldest daughter was reading to them.  The other two were sitting, listening, not fighting or pushing.  I sat down for a minute, helped with a couple of tricky words, and let them know that I was going to feed the baby and put her down for a nap.  Then it would be our lunch time.  And I left as my oldest began reading a Dr. Suess book.

It won't last forever, or even for the rest of the day, but for right now, my children are doing something together, without selfishness, without arguing.  How great is that? 

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• Mar. 13, 2006
The First Day

Well, we did it.  We had our first day of homeschool.  Our original plan was to leave our girls in school until the end of the month, but when we found out that we could apply the prepaid "last months" tuition to this month, we decided to just jump right in.  We told the girls Friday morning what we had decided to do and received positive responses from both. So I walked into the school office Friday morning and withdrew them.  I was pleasantly surprised...the school officials were very kind, not judgemental or negative.  I was girded for battle, but ended up smiling the whole time.

So, for our first day we: did chores, including some new ones, had silent reading time while I fed the baby lunch and put her down for a nap, then had our lunch.  After lunch, while the toddler was resting, the girls did a couple of pages in a math workbook from the dollar store (whatever works, eh?).  When the baby woke up, we all went to the park, as the day was sunny and mild, in the 50's.  All in all, a great day.

I realize that not every day will go like this, but I'm glad we are off to a good start, at least from my perspective.  The girls still don't quite understand the long term situation...I think they believe the are just home for a while.  Like a few weeks.  Our oldest mentioned having money for the book order that came home the day before their last day.  And I had to explain, for probably the fourth time, that we wouldn't be doing that, we would buy books from the bookstore or borrow them from the library.

After dinner, I asked the girls what they thought...about how our day went...what they liked.  Our oldest had only one question:

"When can we go to the zoo and learn about polar bears?"

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• Mar. 9, 2006
Surrender

I am finally surrending to my Lord, on the issue of my children's education.  For quite some time now, He has been asking me to trust Him, to follow Him into homeschooling.  The Lord has put homeschooling friends in my path.  He has put homeschooling information all around me.  He even spoke to my husband.  And still I resisted.

I pushed aside the thoughts that I could do it.  I selfishly maintained that I needed the quiet time I get when my two oldest are in school and the other two are napping.  How would I manage without that daily quiet time? The Lord reminded me that in doing His will, I would have His strength and His patience.

I argued that my oldest daughter and I were having too many problems already to add homeschool to the mix.  But the Lord just kept showing me that rather than add to our problems, having her at home could be the answer.

Our children attend a wonderful montessori school.  It's a lovely setting, dedicated teachers and a waiting list.  If I pull them out, I'll not be able to re-enroll them.  I was afraid that if I failed, there would be no where to turn for help.  The Lord brought us a blessing:  a computer and some extra money to pay for an internet connection.  Suddenly, every thing I need to homeschool with confidence is at my finger tips.

So, my children's last day in public school will be March 31st.  That gives me a couple of weeks to get a plan in place.  Our oldest is just in first grade and the next is in pre-K, but they have both learned to read this year and I want to be sure to keep up those skills.  I'm learning about the different homeschool styles and while I don't plan to do any one method 100% of the time, I do want a general direction in mind.

I'm at peace for the first time in quite a while.  And I know the Lord is with me, every step, on this new road.

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