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The Truth About Why Pre-Teenhood is Misery

8:22 PM - Jan. 18, 2007 - Add to the Wildness

I am disgruntled, and it has given rise to A Theory. The Theory pertains to my soon-to-be 11-year-old and the sudden, illogical bouts of misery he inflicts on himself and everyone else around him. Since his preferred screen name is Spazzerific, I shall dub it the Theory of Spazz.

The kid is an idiot. I don't mean stupid, or bad, or annoying - wait. I totally do mean annoying. In fact, that is the core of the Theory. I have come to believe that the reason junior high is misery in public schools is because it's the nature of the subjects.

There are increasing numbers of moments where I want to hang the kid. The rest tend to be filled in by the shifts his sisters and little brother have signed up for, or by the Spazz wanting to hang himself. He is a wretched example of humanity, and I wouldn't worry if aliens abducted him for a specimen, because I know they'd send him back within twelve hours - after he'd eaten all their lab experiments, tripped on and wrecked their equipment, insulted every last one of them from the captain to the janitor, and then summarily burst into an inconsolable spate of tears over what a wretched example of humanity he believes himself to be.

And I can't honestly debate that. He's a mess. Can you even imagine him in a whole roomful of him? Oh, my sakes. My Theory is that people hate junior high because it's full of miserable, cranky, hungry, wretched junior high-aged people.

My mother came over the other day. We got into a discussion about the need for that break that never comes, and how the kids would handle it if I were to seek relief for my constant exasperation by putting them all in school.

"They'd do fine," my mom said. "They've got such a solid family background."

Which was sweet of her, but how on earth would Spazzerific find a release for his hormone-induced self-loathing with a bunch of other idiots around him just waiting to laugh and torment him at the first sign of tears?

No, much as I am tempted to sell him on the Internet, I will keep my beloved Spazz home where he is free to be who he is - however miserable. I want him to be able to cry over nothing and be okay about it after. It's just one very small consideration among so many, many others, but I had my kids young, and I actually still remember those confusing years. And for a pre-teen, that silly confusion is a big consideration.

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I was so glad to read this. My 11 year old son has just been a pain in the you-know-what. It's good to know he's not the only one. I expected it with my girls, but this aggravating little beast is just a mystery to me.
TC - 11:04 PM - Jan. 18, 2007

alien boys
I see your 11 year old and raise you one 13 year old.
Seriously, I asked a friend who has older boys what this is all about. She said "They go away for awhile, your sweet boys, but they come back. They do come back eventually."

Hang tough, mama. He'll be a human someday.
deirdre2 - 6:28 PM - Jan. 19, 2007

I needed to read this.
Thanks for bringing up about the pre-teen thing. My ds11 has been the same. Tearful, frustrating, changing his mind repeatedly, not wanting to step out and meet new people but wanting to as well. YKWIM?

It has been hard to get used to. One minute he shrugs me off and the next he wants a hug. He can barely tolerate his little brother and sister but wouldn't want to be away from them.

Ugh. It's funny because just yesterday I said to dh that maybe we should let him go to school for at least a semester next Fall when we are settled in OK? Thinking that would somehow help the hormone thing. I think you hit it, though-- they'd just all suffer together.

Blessings, Terrill
tbrowne - 1:22 PM - Jan. 21, 2007

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When Marissa started this, I had actual survivors (mom's whose teens have grown) tell me that this is totally temporary. By the time he is 20, Spazzerific will be back to his normal, sweet self.

On the bright side, boys are supposed to sail through this rough period much better than girls. So, you are getting practice before the females in your home hit the same rough waters.

Don't you feel better now :o)
AcceptanceWithJoy - 8:55 PM - Jan. 23, 2007

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