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Saying Goodbye to Victor

11:29 PM - Feb. 7, 2007 - Add to the Wildness

We buried Victor today. Hundreds of people attended – a strange contrast from Henry’s funeral a year back, which included only a handful. A heart-wrenching warning of what a life can end up not being.

Victor’s day told me what a life can be, regardless of length. At 38 years of age, after 7 months of fighting cancer, we saw so many lives that had been touched with goodness in some way or another by my friend's husband. Even in death, Victor's impact today was an eternal one.

Throughout, I couldn’t stop thinking, This is not supposed to be... This is wrong. And it was okay to feel that way. I know that God didn't design us for death. And I know that God has provided a cure for death.

"I wonder," said the pastor at the opening of the service. "I wonder who Victor's already talked to. Besides seeing the land and the myriads of angels, who has he spoken with? Jesus Christ, of course. Apostles, prophets, friends and family..."

And my eyes overflowed, because he knew who I wanted him to speak to. Tam told him for me before he left. He is with my daughter, with Dave's grandmothers and the babies who went before us. He's with his father. My great-aunt. He is with so many, many people. And when we stood and sang, those hundreds of us there, I had a glimpse of the future. Heaven is very, very near.

The message was very clear: “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, that you may know what is the hope of His calling.” The speaker went through this passage from Ephesians chapter 1 in detail. He spoke of the inheritance of the saints in Christ Jesus -- "notice it doesn't say the inheritance of the saints of Christ Jesus," he said. "this is not about our inheritance. This is about the Son's inheritance from the Father."

I heard an echo of other preachers in that moment, other men who caught sight of the mystery of why God would want a ruined creation. We are the inheritance of Christ, given by the Father in love. And even though it was destroyed, He loved the Father so much that He still wanted what the Father gave Him. And He rescued it from the trash and set its restoration in motion. "So also through the one resulted justification of life to all men." (Romans 5) The mysterious love within the trinity is the only reason any of us even breathes. There is no other reason.

Caught within that love, we are free to cry out our torment and our failure. We are free to be everything miserable that a human being can be within and without. If I make my bed in in the place of the dead, look -- He is there. (Ps. 139)

We are free to come to God with the real truth of who we are and aren't. And He makes us something more than we could ever be. "Things which eye has not seen, and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for him." (1 Cor. 2:9)

At the end of the service, the family’s pastor took the podium again, and he said words that many of us have heard in many variations. He said, “For those of us who are Christians, we know we will be in heaven with Victor. This separation is temporary. But perhaps some of you here today don’t know God. I know who the Prime Minister of Canada is, but I don’t know him personally. I want to take a minute now and introduce you to this God that we know.”

And he spoke verses that took me back to the night I met this God.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God – Romans 3:23

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 6:23

"And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved." – Acts 4:12

If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved – Romans 10:9

“You can’t do this for me, and you can’t do this for Victor,” the pastor said. “It’s between you and God, and you can only do it because you want to. But perhaps there’s something within you that desires this. I’m now going to pray a prayer, and if it’s your heart’s desire, you pray it with me.”

And he prayed words that many of us have heard many times. He had the whole room bow their heads. “Never mind what the person beside you is or isn’t doing. This is about you and God. There is no one else right now. If you so choose, please pray with me. Lord, I know that I’m a sinner, and I believe that you sent your Son to die for my sins....”

And then we all heard a man's soft, deep answering murmur.
Ah, Victor.... Well done, good and faithful servant. I will see you soon.

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Saying Goodbye to Victor

11:29 PM - Feb. 7, 2007 - Add to the Wildness

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