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Butterfly: The Romance of Cat-Throwing :~)

2:51 PM - Oct. 11, 2005 - Add to the Wildness

The dad in this house is a guy who’ll walk in covered in any or all of the following – coal dust; grease; motor oil; sawdust; fibreglass insulation; honey; sweat. What an aphrodisiacal mix. Then he’ll sit down on the furniture I’ve tried to carefully keep clean, and bombard me enthusiastically with a massive array of trivia about how he wired the car’s engine to the transmission (I think that was it), tore the ceiling out of the barn and used it to build me a new yard feature, took honey off the hives, and modified… Well… I may have quit listening a time or two. People who’ve been married awhile have their own weird ways of demonstrating their undying commitment.

Recently, he went into town with the kids and got the mail. I got some time alone, and got working on the computer. (When I grow up, I hope to be a writer. That’ll be a long time, so for now I just practice a lot.) I practically ignored him when he got in. He walked up to me with a brusque, “Here,” and dumped a small grey furry thing the size of a rat on my desk.

We have mice right now. I screamed, and then yelled. “What is that doing in my house!?” But by the end of the sentence, the shock and awe had already taken effect. My “cats are for dog food, house pets are for freaks” husband had dropped a kitten on my work surface.

I was frankly stunned. The story turned out to be that he’d met one of the neighbours in the post office, and the guy had convinced him to come and have a look at a spare cat he had in the shop. Outdoor cat. They were definite on that. But it was tiny, and our dog has always appreciated my hubby’s perspective on cats far too much. So for the sake of keeping a mouser alive, and equipped with a gallon of free cat food in bribery, Butterfly got her whiskers in the door.

We both agree Butterfly can be really annoying, and is not the brightest animal out there. She runs into things, and the only time she ever tried to find out what’s on top of the woodstove was the first day we fired it up, two weeks into her life with us. She has a meow like a rat being fricasseed alive. I think God has been gracious to her – and to our marriage – by creating her remarkably docile for a young kitten. At least she’s not one of those four-legged swaths of deliberate destruction.

You have to understand what a fundamental shift of philosophy it was for my guy to let a cat in the house. He would just as soon shoot them as look at them, and has been known to do just that. They are another livestock unit strictly for pest control purposes. I spent the whole first day feeling like I’d just been courted again. I was in wonder, overwhelmed by the romance of him chucking a cat at me.

I don’t think he realised how much I would love Butterfly. I could see him watching me and clicking it over in his head the first couple of days. It’s not so much for herself, she’s just a run-of-the-mill kitten. It’s because he brought her to me.

When he comes in filthy and full of incomprehensible mechanical trivia, spontaneously changes the family schedule and utterly co-opts my day, I’m pacified when Butterfly walks into the room. I hear the sound of a dying rat screeching in torment near my ankles, and it is the sound of love.

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Thanks so much for the really nice comment! It feels really really nice to know that someone out there has been where I am at! Dh and I talked and he said that he would really really like it if the football became a family activity of sorts. He has 4 season tickets to a local college team, and has gone to just about every game since boyhood. He has been after me about this for years, and I finally relented, and said if he got the extra tickets, we would come. Once it is all said and done...that is 7 tickets. Anyways, I had never thought about him retreating, as it were, into sports. He has been getting more and more into sports as time has gone on. I wouldn't try to mention it to him though, because he would balk at the idea, and it still wouldn't change anything. Even after telling him that I was lonely, etc, it doesn't change anything. I just had a thought as he was telling me about his dreams of these family outings, that maybe it might bring us closer, if I would sacrifice a few Saturdays in the fall. I didn't have to get into the game the way he does, but I might have fun whipping up some yummy tailgate food. He might appreciate it enough that he may want to spend more time with us? I know, I sound pathetic, but I don't know what else to do.
MrsRitchey - 7:05 AM - Oct. 12, 2005

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Thanks for sharing...I think sometimes we wives have to listen carefully to decipher the "I love you and appreciate you's" from our husbands. It so often seems to come along with dirty furniture and an overload of information that we don't care to know. Or, I suppose, a carelessly tossed kitten.

gottsegnet - 9:10 PM - Oct. 29, 2005

Great Story
Loved this post! You have a real flair for writing. Why did you name the kitten Butterfly? I like it. My Dear Man says he doesn't like cats, but when he thinks you aren't looking he has one in his lap he absently strokes, or he's playing with it.

Blessings!
sagerats - 12:24 AM - Nov. 26, 2005

My husband's philosophy on cats is just like your husband's.
And I know that if he *ever* brought home a cat to satisfy our need for a mouser, I know it would be a sign of true love, because he really, really, really, really, really despises cats.
All that to say, great post. I get what you're saying.
TC - 10:29 PM - Nov. 26, 2005

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