Ok I am going nutso on the weekends with no internet or tv! Actually it isn't so bad at all. It is not until MONDAYS when I realize how awfully behind I am.

I am so bummed. I cleaned my entire homeschooling cupboard out and no sign of Alyssa's Singapore Math book. I just KNOW that we left it at MILs but she says no. This is just making me nuts. If you care to pray with me that I find it I would really appreciate it.

Alyssa and I are on a count down now. 7 more weekends to go until I am a SAHM.

Should be an exiting time but my mother cried to me again this morning. I am not sure what she wants. Me to give up my dream and say I am sorry, fine you raise my kids until they are teens then I will take them. I really am just at a loss at what to say to her. She just keeps hammering me with how I am going to ruin them. Thanks. And I am stubborn because I won't even listen. Um no it was my family decision.

Please bear with me as I get through this rough transition. Change is hard and what is supposed to be so exciting and the dream of mine is being dampened by guilt trips. I know her side but for ONCE I have to think of my family that I married into and had. My brothers live STATES away. I am moving 10 more mins and life is over.

I told her I would come in EVERY Friday and Sundays for lunch. She said that I have to let her see the kids more. I said fine - YOU can come to MY house once a week or ANY time you want. Nope. She said she won't be able to get there. She NEVER comes to my house. Neither does the mil. What is wrong with My house?