Brainstorms - I Love Everything About the Holidays Except...

Brainstorms

Nov. 22, 2006 - I Love Everything About the Holidays Except...

...my two sisters-in-law. Isn't that sad? I get butterflies in my stomach in spite of my love for everything about Thanksgiving and Christmas. One SIL is a lesbian, and dh just informed me that she and her girlfriend want to go see Happy Feet tomorrow with us and our kids. I think they're going to go to Disneyland with us in three weeks or so. Do you have any idea how hard it is to walk the line between approval and "love the sinner but not the sin"? Especially when I know that my children are studying everything we do and say. Will they remember that we showed Christ's love to Rebecca and her gf or will they come away with the belief that, "it's just a different kind of family"? Wow, that's tough.

My kids are so black and white when it comes to sin and Satan and God that I am just dreading the day when they find out about this relationship. They're bold and outspoken in spite of their ages. What on earth will they say to these two, and ... does it even matter? They can say anything they want, but I will absolutely not allow the SIL or gf to try to normalize their lifestyle. Do any of you have words of advice on this topic?

My other SIL loves to call the shots and watch us jump. About three weeks ago she announced that Thanksgiving was at her house this year. She loves to be the Queen Bee, and it really hasn't mattered to me that we have Thanksgiving at her house every year. But it dawned on me this week that my kids have never had the experience of hosting Thanksgiving and all the prep and excitement that goes with it. She's divorced and has no kids, and in many ways is just a big kid herself with few obligations. We have an annual July Fourth party, but this past year she announced that, "July fourth is at my house this year." We weren't going to cancel our party, but gosh that's a lot of chutzpah because she fully expects that we'll go along with whatever she plans.

I don't want my blog to be filled with griping and complaining, but believe me, it's better that I vent here than all over my poor dh. He's a saint. LOL

[Post A Comment!] [Send to a Friend!]

Comments

Nov. 22, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by HomeForHeavensSake

I can sympathize with what you're going through. I have a sibling who is living that sort of lifestyle and it's so hard to know how to handle it, especially with the kids. My kids don't know the truth about this person yet, and I don't think they're old enough to understand it anyways so I just have avoided the subject.

My family is still in denial, I think. Neither me nor any of my other 3 siblings have really faced the truth. We don't talk about it with eachother. It's almost as if we think that avoiding the subject will make it disappear. I wish that were the case, don't you?

Anyways, I am sorry I don't have any helpful advice to give you. I'm still trying to figure it out myself! I hope someone else can shed some light on the situation.

Bev.

[Permanent Link]

Nov. 22, 2006 - Hi Lisa

Posted by Haflingerhorses

It was nice to hear from you. I goofed, that blog was titled Nov 20 -24, and I wrote it the week before! I fixed it...it's been soo busy this week. No school....family pictures on Monday, Tuesday the fam went out of town for an overnight stay.

The kitchen - well, it's pretty bad - I'm sure I mentioned, didn't I, that when we took down the drywall we found dissolving brick. The house is 150 years old, and the brick was probably made right here on the property, and sun dried. Now, it's litterally dissolving away. We have a structural engineer coming in a week or so to tell us what were going to have to do. Meanwhile, my kitchenette is doing fantastic! (my laundry room conversion) My new cabinets just got installed this week. It looks so pretty!

I can relate to your blog. A few years ago, my dh brother left his wife of 20 years for a playboy look-alike that is 20 years younger than him. I didn't know how to handle that either. I prayed about it alot. It finally came down to this - what if it was my own brother? If it was my own brother, I'd love him no matter what. That's just the way it is. So, I decided that was what I would do. Yet, I struggled like you do, about the kids perception of all of this. I have older ones that knew what was going on (the cousins). It was really, really tough. I also had to realize that the young girl would probably become my new sister-in-law, and that was a delicate situation for me. She would become my kids aunt. It did turn out like that too. I am glad that I handled it the way I did.

[Permanent Link]

Nov. 23, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Homeschooling6

Something similar here and all I can say is love them. Don't judge them, just love them like Jesus does. Show them Christ's love.
I wouldn't let my kiddos say anything disrespectful. I know it's hard, but we need to show them God's love and have grace towards them.
Pray about it and ask God to give you wisdom on how to handle this.
Blessings,
Linda<><

[Permanent Link]

Nov. 25, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by rachelle

My heart goes out to you. It must be incredibly difficult trying to find a balance in that situation. I don't have any advice, but I pray that you'll be able to deal with this situation with God's wisdom and grace.

[Permanent Link]

Nov. 27, 2006 - Hi!

Posted by LizzieBee

Oh, your blog postings are always so full of life and life's challenges. A joy to read, even when the subject matter is problematical. Yes, like the others said, the Christian response is to love, love, love. Of course, keep your children as protected and innocent as long as you can, as they seem to be quite young still.

Also, there is hope for a turnaround and once your kids become aware of the issue, perhaps you can all take the two women up in prayer. So much of this type of behavior is caused by discordant human relationships (whether with parents, or opposite sex encounters), and of course, it is absolutely touted at colleges and universities today, not to mention the society at large. That's why I think the pure Christian love that we're capable of can lift the thoughts and perhaps the actions of those who are suffering this curse.

What do homosexuals know of Christianity nowadays except that the Christian right is virulently 'against' them, and yet Christian leaders are being exposed for the same behavior! The hypocrisy is not lost on them, I'm sure. So, I think the ability to just love them and respect them (not their sinful actions) will help. I have great respect for your thoughts and challenges here. It is not one I would be glad to have.

Regarding the other SIL...acckkkk!!! Hopefully, with your husband's support, you can eventually wean yourselves away from always having to go to her house. I have found (in many years of marriage) that when dealing with inlaws it is vital that one's spouse be clear about what is best for one's own family. Sometimes one has to be patient. There were a few showdowns with my husband's family in years past. Not pleasant, but once the boundaries are delineated things go much smoother as the years roll on. If you've never read on the Boundaries books, I highly recommend them. Gotta run. Sorry for writing another book!

[Permanent Link]

Nov. 28, 2006 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Homeschooling6

Hi Lisa-
Just wanted to recommend a book from Gospel Light that my sister gave to me. I have not read it yet but she said it was really good.
It is written by Nancy Heche and the title is The Truth Comes Out, The Story of My Heart's Transformation.

Just a thought: Our children will learn how to treat others by how we act. If we love them like Christ, they will learn to love as Christ also.

It sounds like you are already modeling that from one of your current post. We may not agree with them about their life style choices, but we can show them God's love and pray. We are walking Bibles as they say =)
I'll keep you in prayer as I pray for my family on this issue too. I haven't had to explain anything to the kiddos yet but I know one day. They are already asking questions.

Blessings,
Linda<><

[Permanent Link]

About Me

homeschool and parenting adventures combined with my favorite hobbies of knitting, sometimes cooking, our pack of Basenjis and family travel