I had a nice morning.  I was able to hear the birds singing and was able to watch the sunrise while exercising.  The cool morning is invigorating!  I have been thinking about some things.  Over some time now there has been this deep pain or emptiness inside that I can't identify. Words that come to mind are....searching, confusion, emptiness, sadness, despairing...... It has been frustrating, and have been pining trying to figure out what it is, and trying to fix it.  This morning I was doing my study "Breaking Free," by Beth Moore http://www.lproof.org/.  She compared our soul stirrings to our physical deires for food and water.  There is an emptiness, a void that brings pain or unrest.  Our soul stirs, and longs and begins feeling empty, and there are needs to be met.  She mentioned how most Christians are not satisfied with Jesus.  He IS satisfying, beautiful, all emcompassing, our All in All......but we don't allow Him to be all that He is, in our life.  I say "we" as Christians, but I mean me.  This grieved me, and felt that soul stirring in myself, deep inside that hollow place.  We usually identify these confessions with people who are not walking with God.  I read my Bible, teach my children God's truth's with excitement, and love to worship God.  That is nothing to brag about.  The point is, there are Christians like me out there who love God, and are doing the things of God, and yet still have deep emptiness in their lives.  The pain of this emptiness brings depression and pain and embarassment.  Jeremiah 31:23-25  says how after He "brings them back from captivity" He will refresh the weary and satsify the weak.  I "know" that God can bring a completeness in our lives and feelings of satisfaction in our soul.  I know that God can satisfy my yearning soul, wash away the pain and frustration and emptiness from my life, and fill me with His beauty and abundant life.  I used to relate this fulfillment to "feelings of godliness, righteousness, and holiness." I am learning that those things come from God alone and usually fill us up without our complete awareness of it, and bringing glory to God maybe unknowingly, but for sure with humbleness.  I was encouraged by some scriptures....

Psalm 63

A Psalm of David; when he was in the Wilderness of Judah.

 1O GOD, You are my God, earnestly will I seek You; my inner self thirsts for You, my flesh longs and is faint for You, in a dry and weary land where no water is.

    2So I have looked upon You in the sanctuary to see Your power and Your glory.

    3Because Your loving-kindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You.

    4So will I bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.

    5My whole being shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips

    6When I remember You upon my bed and meditate on You in the night watches.

    7For You have been my help, and in the shadow of Your wings will I rejoice.

    8My whole being follows hard after You and clings closely to You; Your right hand upholds me.

I am thankful to have a place to pour my heart out and am thankful to be able to seek more of God without criticism and scrutiny.  I pray that the truths of this becomes more alive in me so that I can live with satisfaction, fulfillment and enjoyment in Him alone.  ....Melissa