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I don't know if I can accurately call myself a sentimentalist, since I've been known to throw away artwork that my children have created. and I haven't peeked at my baby books since 2000 (I know, BAD MOMMY!). I'm also generally wary of syrupy statements that mean little during times of reflection, I'd rather hunt for the sincere, not just go through the motions. Even though it is tempting to do so on a day like Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is not just a holiday. It is a spiritual position, one that should resemble falling flat on our faces in gratitude for what one has. If I were to take that position this week, and I certainly should, I would have so many things to thank God for that I wouldn't be able to reduce it to the kind of insincere statement which often opens our Thanksgiving table at my sister-in-law's house. Call me a cynic, but the bearer of the question, "What are you thankful for, Auntie Thalia?" rarely really wants an answer longer than "My family." This morning I was not thankful. I spent my morning in a funk, losing my temper, and believing that if I put my fist through a wall, I'd feel better. I had nothing to be angry about, I was just angry. I secluded myself in our front hall, with the door between the hall and kitchen closed so that I could weep, encourage myself in silence and get my act together before I lost control with the children. I think I was angry because I was feeling sorry for myself, or maybe I was feeling sorry for myself because I was angry. Either way, I wasn't on my face in humble gratefulness. But I got my gentle correction this afternoon while I was reading with my daughters, the "Kit, American Girl" series and wept again. This time, over hardship of a fictional character. Hardship that is similar to what we have faced over the last few years. Now this is where I did get on my face, if not literally, certainly figuatively. Oh, if it had not been for the grace of God on my family, we most certainly would have been destitute this year. For the fact that we have a roof over our head, adequate food, adequate clothing, remarkable health (especially mine) I am overwhelmingly grateful. I am thankful that my husband and I have a solid relationship and that we are committed to it with all our hearts. I am thankful that we have enough, again, to have a reasonable Christmas. I am thankful that we've had an unseasonably warm November, to keep the blues of winter away from me. I am thankful that my children are learning to be content and thankful. I am thankful that I am seeing healing in some relationships. I am thankful that God is always on his throne. He sees me and he hears my prayers and he had a beautiful plan for my family. I don't want to get off my face and stop this very simple, but sincere answer to that ubiquitous question, but I have to make dinner. Happy Thanksgiving!
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Posted by Beth/Mom2TwoVikings