HOTM Magazine

Jul. 12, 2008 - Building Modesty in a Girl Begins Early

Posted in Mothering in Grace


I believe it is very important to build modesty into girls even at a young age.  Underdog and I have emphasized modesty with both of our girls since they were very little.  Most of it started by simply buying them only dresses to wear.  Now, we don't have a problem with wearing pants.  But in order to express our femininity we feel it's important that dresses play a major roll in our wardrobe.   We wear dresses only to church and we try to wear them when we are out unless our destination warrants pants or modest swimsuits. 

Although I totally believe that modesty is a matter of the heart, I honestly don't believe that young girls (at least most of them) truly grasp the meaning of modesty beginning in the heart.  I guess I believe that because I struggle with that even as an adult walking with the Lord.  Of course, I didn't grow up in a home that emphasized modesty as a means of honoring the Lord.  Modesty was important but only because our bodies and s*x were taught as being shameful (of course, the core of that was that they were shameful outside of the marriage but the later wasn't taught.  It was all shameful and it's taken me years to break free of that lie within my marriage.)  But all children are tangible need something solid to put their hands on.  When they are young, little girls just simply need the practical parts of modesty to be taught to them.  Eventually, as they accept Christ and grow in relationship with Him, I believe that conviction about the specifics for each individual young girl will come. 

I am beginning to witness this in my own 9 yod.  She is quite a mature young lady for her age.  But she's is only now beginning to develop a "style" of her own.  She's probably more modest than I am as an adult.   She's very picky about her dress length (it's often longer than daddy requires) and she wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of shorts.  These are her "rules" no necessarily ours.  But she's also beginning to ask those important question that will grow her into a godly young woman and this will eventually lead to her questioning the standards that we've put in place for modesty.  I welcome this questioning.  I awnt her to make them her own or she will not be walking in freedom with Christ leading her. 

We must start young, mothers.  We can't expect them to dress in slinky little outfits when they have no curves and then expect them to accept that they can't wear them anymore when they do start to get curves.  And for those of you with very young just out of babyhood girls, they grow FAST!!!  I have been shocked at some of the physical and bodily changes my 9 yod has already started to go through.  She's seem so little and yet. . . .   They do mature fast when they hit what is common called the 'tween ages.  It's important that we be prepared ahead of time for things to begin changing early.  We must be prepared to give them a very positive imagine of these changes taking place.  I am not talking positive self-esteem.  While I admire Dove's campaign to reach the average girls and give them a higher self-concept, that is missing the point.  Self-esteem isn't the issue.  As sinner as have enough self-esteem.  We must first have an understanding of our utter depravity before God and our intense need for the Savior.  As that concept is understood, then we need to give a positive image of who God created them be as a woman.  That comes from giving them a positive view of their bodies.  Most little girls were created for a special young man.  He's has ordained that.  She must view her womanhood as being a positive change in her life.  For those of us who grew up thinking that our monthly cycles were a literal curse, we must rethink this.  We must see it as a positive thing for without that monthly cycle you wouldn't have that precious daughter that you've been called to lead.  But long before this message comes the need to teach them to guard their bodies and honor the men in the their lives by not causing them to stumble due to their immodest clothing choices.  Not only that but it's a protection of her future relationship with her husband.  It's a protection of her purity.   It must begin early or they will be sucked in by our society in thinking that they are only worth anything if they dress in all the current styles and look a certain way like a certain Hollywood star.   We see this everyday when we see young girls as young as 5 and 6 wearing immodest clothing. 

Raising young girls to appreciate their womanhood and practice modesty is a passion of mine.  I don't hesitate to help my girls see the immodesty around them and why it is wrong.  I am careful not to judge.  For must women who are dressed extremely immodestly have no relationship with Christ or concept of their depravity.  They need our prayers and in some ways our godly example.  And there so Christian woman who have just never been shown they are being immodest.  They need godly older women to take them aside gently and help them to see this.  The older woman in the lives of your little girl is YOU!!! 
I pray that this will reach the heart of a young mom struggling with teaching modesty in a world that doesn't accept it.  As the world (and unfortunately, church at times) turn more and more from godly living there will more and more pressure to compromise.  This is a call to set your standard based on the Word of God and your relationship with Him (and you husbands) and stand strong.  Do not waver because you are uncomfortable.  Be strong and courageous.  Protect those girls of yours.  Protect yourself.  Honor the men in your life.  Seek modesty for your sake, your daughters sake, the men in your life and church.  But most importantly, see modesty because we are encouraged in scripture to be modest and discreet and we are command, as the older women, to teach this to the younger.  (Titus 2 and 1 Timothy 2:9-10) 
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Jul. 7, 2008 - The Finale

Posted in Mothering in Grace


It's rare for me to write about the specifics of my day but it's been a very blessed day for our family and I just had to write about it this evening. 

I knew today would be busy.  But I had one of those sleeps that left me saying "Where am I?  What day is it?  What am I doing today?  Oh yeah!"  I was so dazed when I woke up.  Finally I remembered the order of events and hopped out of bed.  Today was going to full and I needed to spend time at the feet of Jesus preparing for it.  I had such great intentions for that time. . .until I discovered I left my Bible in the car.  Being the modest person that I am and uncomfortable with walking outside in the PJs, I just spent time praying.  Finally it was time to get up and get ready.  I wasn't moving too fast despite the fact that I needed to get out of the house at 8:15am.  For some reason my body and mind were about 30 minutes behind.  I hate when I get like that. 

When it was nearly 8am I sent my oldest down to make bowls of Cheerios for everyone so we could eat fast and run.  You see, my children started swim lessons for the first time today.  God was so gracious to provide some extra money a few months ago and then gracious opened up FOUR spots for summer swim lessons with the city for just the amount that I had to pay.  I was praising God because we have so many people asking us to swim this summer and I just hate turning people down on fellowship because I am a basketcase around water.  But I forgot one key figure in this whole process.  Little Man was going to have to sit for 2 hours and watch everyone swim while he was tied down in his stroller.  So I had to run to the grocery store to find food that would occupy him for 2 hours (YES, I do, in fact, occupy my children with food on occasion.  Bad mother!!!!!)  My brain finally caught up with the clock and I managed to run into the grocery store (while illegally leaving my children in the car.  It was 8:20am.  I also got out in the 5 minutes.  JB timed me.)  I got enough snacks for today AND tomorrow.  Then we were off to swim lessons and got there with 10 minutes to spare.  Finally, I could sit and relax. 

Swim lessons went well.  BroncoFan was so proud of being moved to a higher skill level than his sisters.  Hmm, no pride there or anything.    JB and Schmoo ended up in the same class.  I hated to tell BroncosFan that I think he was moved up simply because he's a daredevil and pretty much attempts to teach himself everything he wants to know.  I have yet to convince Schmoo that she does in fact have to put her face under water when she swims.  She trying though.  And poor JB.  She's doing her best to keep up with all this as she's not feeling well these days (more on that later.)  The Linebacker Starter Kit (LBSK) had to wait 45 minutes before his class started.  They told me they would split the class in to those that had put their head under water and those that hadn't.  I asked if that was putting their head under on purpose or by accident.  hehehe!!!  He's good at the accident side of that.  They put him the class that put their heads underwater easily.  I was shocked.  I didn't honestly think he would do it.  He's the only little guy that's never been swimming before.  I hope I get my money's worth.  He did learn that he's not supposed to drink the water because it's yucky water.  Good boy but suspect that I will need the cleanse the chlorine from his sister at the end of the summer.  Bleech!!!!  At least he left with something new today.  (I admire thees kids that spend their summers teaching small children to do the impossible.  They amaze me.) 

After swim lessons we rushed home to get laundry started for the day and eat lunch so we could rush out and do our grocery shopping before my sonogram this afternoon.  Again, I was running about 1 hour behind in my head.  I was seeing the clock as noon but it was 1pm.  URGH!!!  I had to go to the bank and drive all the way to Whole Foods.  I needed drops from my naturopath for JB so I decided to do the shopping so Underdog didn't have to worry about it.  You know, there is something to be said for bribes.  Either that or my children have their stomach as their god.  HAHA!!  I promised them a roll from the bakery at WF if they would help me get in and out of WF in 30 minutes.  We were done shopping in 20 and in the car leaving in 30 minutes.  My kids rock!!!!! 

We arrived home hot and sweaty.  That got worse after we brought the groceries in.  The LBSK found the lock on the garage door to the house and decide it would be funny to lock everyone in the garage but himself.  Oh, did I mentioned that I left my keys on the kitchen table when I walked in.  That took 5 minutes of major threats before he opened it.  (Hmmm, I never did discipline that little booger.)   We got all the groceries in and sat down to finally breath and we got a phone call that the technician running the sonogram had 3 cancellation and that we could come in a hour early.  I don't think I have ever seen my children move faster.  Even Underdog had a little bounce in his step. 

We all voted on the way there.  6 for a girl, 1 for a another boy (I voted for Little Man.  The LBSK wanted a purple "gril" but I am not sure I can produce the purple part.)  We got there and got right in to start things up.  This baby is so healthy.  The head is perfect.  Spine is closed.  Placenta is low but that is normal for me.  Cord is well attached and will make a good belly button.  Everything else is functioning right.  Then it was time to "look."  Wouldn't you know, the feet were in the way.  Smart technician.  He sent me on a walk to see if the baby would change positions.  So I went on my walk in the blazing heat while the girls talked to the baby as we walked.  "Move, baby, move" was their plea.  I prayed silently.  We went back in and got back on the table. 

Can I just say that technology has come along way since Underdog and I found out that JB was a girl.   We haven't found out again until now.  We usually wait until the end.  I really wanted to do that this time but my planners instinct took over this time and the sonogram won out.  I needed to know so if we needed two boys rooms I could begin prepping for it.  He was able to tell me that the baby had moved just right but there was still a little foot in the way.  That was so awesome to see that little foot up against the little bum.  And now for the Finale. . .the tech was 95% sure that we will be finishing our little family out with. . . . . . .

So did I share just how much I love technology and what it can do for us.  LOL!!!!  Just kidding.  (I am trying to drive my brother crazy and he's reading and waiting to find out.  That is unless mom already called him.  Darn!!  I am 34 and still love to bother my brother.  Is that sinful?  hehehe!!!) 

The tech is 95% sure that we will have a BABY GIRL in November of 2008.  I almost cried.  I had really wanted a girl.  I knew my girls had wanted a little sister to share their room with as well.  I think wanted to cry for my girls.  This is going to be one exciting time for them.  I had been praying for weeks that God would prepare my heart to love and accept whomever He would bless me with.  I fully expected another boy.  So I felt overwhelmed at God giving me such a blessing as my heart's desires. 

My little boys didn't care.  Little Man still has no clue what is going on.  LBSK, well, he wants a "gril" (BTW, he calls girls "grils" but get very offended if you outright correct him.  The subtle corrections don't seem to be working though.)  BroncosFan wasn't too happy.  He was such a scowl on his face when we left that office.  He finally came to talk to me after we arrived home.  He confessed that he was upset because they weren't going to have even teams when they played football (apparently Dad doesn't count.)  I had to feel for the little guy.  He was also struggling a bit with the fact that he had been praying for a baby brother.  Don't we all struggle to understand at times why God doesn't always answer our praer as we want them.  He really had his heart set on this one.  Underdog so carefully reminded him that although they wouldn't have even teams when they played football in the backyard, they would indeed have a foursome for a golf game.  Ah, leave it to dad to help him find the bright side of all this. 

But Underdog also reminded Bronco Fan that when we question this baby and it's value, we are question the Creator Himself.  It is God who is knitting this baby together.  It is God who decided that this baby would be a little girl.  It is God that has willed that Bronco Fan will be a big protector brother to this little princess just as he is protector to JB and Schmoo.  But I think this will be a special bonding for him. 
He and I went to SAMs and Walmart to finish out the grocery shopping after dinner.  I allowed him to pick the first little outfit out for his little sister to wear.  Unfortunately, she'll have to wait until next summer since there were no fall and winter clothes out that he liked.  We had a good bonding time and he's quickly coming around to being protector of this baby.  I knew he would. 

(WARNING!!!!  Any guy reading this might want to skip the next paragraph. . .Uncle, that would be you.) 

Our next journey will come at the end of this pregnancy when my older children will witness for the first time a baby enter the world.  If all works out well, I will birth in the tub again so there will still be a mystery to birth.  But I have dreamed for years that I would have children old enough to experience was I consider to real birth.  This is my gift to my two older daughters.  And hopefully, if JB or Schmoo are comfortable enough, they will be able to allow their baby sister the privilege to experience a birth done well.  There is no better way to prepare a young lady for the beauty of her womanhood.  If birth is done right (barring any complications.)  Without the cycle that we women experience, there would be no babies.  I have always hated my monthly friend.  But I know realize that it is truly a blessing.  It is that aspect of womanhood that literally nourishes our babies before there is a placenta in place to feed them.  And the fact that there is only ONE time a month for life to take place, that is a miracle.  Every woman every month gets one chance.  All I can say that simple scientific fact is proof that there is a Creator God.  He opens and closes the womb.  That doesn't just happen by chance.  And although many women are learning the value of fertility awareness and how their bodies truly work, only God makes that baby happen.  I want my girls to see their womanhood in a positive light.  (I would love to someday have a Bible study for my girls and their friends around this very idea.  I have been blessed to find a wonderful curriculum around this topic.  I plan to use it with my girls when we go on our weekend trip alone at around age 11.)  Not only do I want them embrace being keepers at home, submissive to their husbands, loving their children, being pure, chaste, disciplined, etc.  I want them to embrace the way God made them physically.  To deny the physical beauty and value of our bodies to deny who God created us to be.  To hate it defies His very Creation and calls into question His wisdom.  We are nurturers by our very nature.  Just look at our womb and how it works in the very beginning of life.  It's just so amazing.  Life is amazing. 

So baby #6 is our Finale.  That is her nickname until I can convince Underdog to have a serious conversation about names and he;s will stop coming up with Jefferky and Phillys (oh, wait, that one was from my BIL.)  This has always been a running joke in our family.  Underdog can only concentrate for about 10 minutes on serious baby names and then I lose him to "Darth Vader" and "Jezebel" type names.  I have learned to save my most favorite and important names when he's in a serious mood and I only introduce 2-3 ideas at a time.  That way if I lose him to silly name I at least know he heard my favorites.  And sadly he's bringing his oldest ds into this.  I feel so sorry my future daughters-in-law.  I will have to sit down and have a serious talk about how to deal with these silly men.  I have learned well to ignore Underdog.  (But I secretly get a good laugh out of his nature.  God has blessed me no only with an intelligent and serious man but he's given me on that truly makes me laugh.  We get to go out tomorrow and celebrate 12 years together.  I am excited.  

One final thing.  I know this is getting long.  I wanted to ask those reading if they might pray for my oldest daughter.  She's affectionately known on my blog as JB.  She's been sick for almost 2 weeks now.  She's gone through 3 different infections and has been having nightly fevers for nearly 10 days now.  She waking with headaches and nausea that will only go away with drinking water.  But I was doing her hair this morning and thought she's was really going to lose it right there.  She's not eating much. . .even turning down special Grandma banana pudding.  When her fevers spike she just looks like a wilted flower.  I am desperately fighting my imagination and not letting it run wild.  But I fear I have lost that fight.  Mostly I am praying that God will give me wisdom and direct me down the right path for answers. . .and in the meantime, trusting my little girl in His hands.  Would you please pray for her healing and/or answers to come to us this Friday as I take her to the dr.  My pediatrician is so awesome.  She allows me room to use my natural medicine at home and trusts me to come see her when I need help.  I need help now but Friday is the earliest I can get there.  In the meantime, we are bombing her body with stuff to kill viruses and all sorts of other nice pathogens that seem to have taking over her body.  They are working on the infections but the fevers linger.  And my worry over her grows.  :( 
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May. 2, 2008 - Saying goodbye to a friend

Posted in Graceful Homekeeping


Underdog and I have been having some significant discussions around our finances recently.  I think most people are in this position.  We are also adding another child to our homeschool next year so the curriculum costs are going up a bit.  We are setting financial goals as well that is going to require making mind and heart changes.  We are both making major sacrifices. 

This past weekend I attended the wedding of one my cousins.  I took my two girls with me.  They loved it.  What little girls doesn't love a good wedding?  It got me to thinking about my girls though.  Jennibear will 9 in a few weeks.  In all reality she's only a little over a decade shy of possibly getting married herself.  God only knows right now.  But still that is a reality.  And the reality that I haven't truly been preparing her to run a home and be a godly wife also hit me.  So I have been praying all week for how to make the necessary changes in my life to be that kind of example.  I have been adding babies so quickly to our family that I seem to have pushed that aspect of my life to wayside.   I believe that answer came last night.

With the discussions we've been having over our finances the idea of the internet came up last night.  I LOVE the internet.  It's so much fun to play with at time.  I have my favorite websites that I love to read and surf through.  You can find fun recipes and crafts.  This truly is the information age.  But our conversation turned to what would happen if we didn't have it.  Suddenly I have loads of time flash before my eyes.  Time to spend with my little ones reading.  Time to actually sew the dresses I have cut out for my girls.  Time to sew baby bedding and homemade cloth diapers for my new little one (this is a dream of mine.)  Time to decorate my home.  Time to cook all the snack foods we need instead of spending so much to buy it at the store.  Time to work with my girls to train them to be keepers at home.  Time to help my boys get wood out of the garage and build to their hearts content (or whatever boys do.)  With no more babies coming after this one, my time won't increase but how I use it will change as this little one grows.  (Shudder the thought that I should rush this baby through his/her babyhood.) 

Time!!! 

That is the operative word here.  I have always said I don't have enough time.  But in all reality, I have just as much time as women of old had to keep their homes.  I just use it (or waste it) on areas that I shouldn't. 

I have been reading Laine's Letters recently.  I love the encouragement I receive from her.  I was recently reading her letter about the 50 ways they paid off their home.  I am intrigued by the idea.  That is the kind of challenge I am willing to plan for and achieve.  I did this several years ago after my first was born.  I spent alot of extra time (we didn't have internet or a computer then. . .interesting) planning our budget so we could have enough money put back for a down payment on our first home.  We moved into our first home one week after she turned one.  If I could do it then, I can do it now with paying off this house.  One of the things she mentioned is that she doesn't have internet access at home.  YIKES!!!!  How can you live without internet access?  But it's been done before.  In fact, families did it for centuries.  I did it growing up.  I did it when my dd was a baby.  It is possible. 

Sooooo, I think Underdog is going to turn off our wireless network.  We may be going back to using the landline.  I will keep my computer in the office which will be the only place I have access to it.  And we're going to set up a rule for the computers (unless Underdog is working) that the computers are not on as long as a child is awake.  That will count out naptime as well since most of my children don't nap anymore. 

I am worried a bit.  I can just imagine myself sitting around staring into space looking for stuff to do with myself.  The TV is not an option but it's tempting.  But I think as I get over the initial shock of losing my friend, I'll move on into bigger and better things.  Perhaps my vision for home will actually come to fruition.  Perhaps my relationships with my children will become stronger.  Perhaps my relationship with Underdog will just increase in strength and godliness.  Perhaps my walk with the Lord will grow to a place I've never known.  Perhaps. . .

I will continue to blog as I can.  I haven't been blogging much anyway and I don't think I have many people reading right now anyway.  It's just as well.  I like to blog because I enjoy it not for the attention.  So I sign off today and put my computer in the study to wait for me.  No longer does this thing control me.  I control it!!!!!
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Apr. 21, 2008 - A Birth Announcement

Posted in Everyday Grace


A few weeks ago I posted on my new neighbors that moved into the wreath on my front door.   I am proud announce the arrival of 4 precious baby finch and one still hopefully on the way.  Momma is doing well and is very vocal about our intrusion upon her space.  She's kind about it though.  No dive bombing.  She usually just hopes from branch to branch in the tree in our front yard and makes her presences known.  They are not very vocal babies. . .yet.  We opened the door awhile ago and Underdog observed one of them yawning.  That was when I got my first real glimpse of them.  They are TINY.  I wish I had pictures but I don't want to disturb their sleep and growth right now with a selfish flash from my camera.  Hopefully in a few days they will be stronger and I can get a really good picture.  In the mean time you can enjoy this picture that I got off of the internet. 

(Please note:  I did not take this picture.  I want to give credit to wanderingnome on flickr for this precious picture. 

 
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Apr. 12, 2008 - Review of TEACH Magazine Spring 2008, Vol XII, Issue 1

Posted in Everyday Grace


This is a long overdue review of the must reach TEACH Magazine release.  My apologies to Mrs. Lorrie Flem for taking so long to get this done. 

I don't have much time to read anymore so magazines are really exciting to me.  I have now received three issues of TEACH and it's the third time I haven't been let down.  In fact, this issue showed up in the midst of a personal struggle I have been having before the Lord as I seek His will regarding our school and a few issues I am facing with my children.  The theme of this issue is "Discerning God's Will in Your Life."  Very fitting for anyone. . .especially for this time of year when so many moms are seeking the Lord for direction with our upcoming school year. 

Lorrie starts out the magazine with her fun Letters From Lorrie Laundry Room.  I love to hear from anyone who would write a letter from the laundry room.  Laundry is my favorite chore.  LOL!!!!!  She discusses Spring Fever, which we all have alot of right now.  She tells a great story about a TEACH writer, Pamela Bethume, whom was paralyzed from the waist down.  TEACH did a found raiser to buy her a scooter.  She includes a letter from Pamela.  Next, Lorrie moves into family news.  I love reading about family news.  I am a people watcher and I often wandering what the lives of the people in pictures are like.  Lorrie shares some great stories of her family and their growth.  Finally, Lorrie moves into discussing the theme of the magazine.  I was so convicted at this point.  She points us to 1 Thessalonians 5:18. 

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 

Enough said.  I didn't need to keep reading.  I have been forgetting thankfulness in my life recently.  That is God's will.  I didn't stop there though.  It's only gets better. 

I think my favorite article of the whole magazine came right after Lorrie's "Letter".  In Conversations with Cory, Cory Lisk discusses "Seeking God's Design for My Day."  This is exactly where I am at right now.  I get so side tracked in my day.  Someday I even forget Whom I should be living to bring glory.  Cory brought a gentle reminder of just exactly how I am get through my day and live His will out.   My favorite quote of the whole article says it all for me:  "I know that without the Holy Spirit operating in my life, it would be better for me (and most definitely better for my family) if I stayed in bed!"   I can so relate to that myself.  It is only by God's grace that I am able to do anything in life. 

Another impacting article that touched me personally was from Marilyn Boyer in Swinging on the Back Porch.   Mrs. Boyer is one person I would love to have the opportunity to just sit and talk to.  Her article this month was called "Beware of Bitterness."  I knew when I read the title that this was for me.  I struggle immensely with bitterness at times.  I go in and out of it.  Someday days are better than others.  But Mrs. Boyer's words gave me some helpful advice.  She says:

"I think there's a strong tendency to become bitter when we feel like we've invested so much and or kids don't appreciate it, or haven't done what we expected them to do.  in some ways, we have added pressure from other to see that our kids 'conform' to expectations fo excellence, academic proficiency, etc.  We are tempted to put pressure on our kids to conform to what others think they should be doing.  We must guard against this and let God lead each child as He sees fit, not what others pressure us to do." 

This quote made me sit up and think.  It is so easy for me to get caught up in just what she describes.  But I don't want that for my children.  More than conforming I want to see them grow into what God has specifically created them to be.  As I am making big changes in my school, this has freed me to go through with the changes I believe the Lord is leading me to instead of constantly questioning whether I was in His will. 

One finally thought from Mrs. Boyer's article that still leaves me thinking and considering my heart.  When she addressed bitterness directly she didn't mince words.  "A clue that you may be harboring bitterness is feeling hurt often.  Bitterness masquerades as hurt, which is actually selfishness.  Another symptom is that a bitter person is hardly ever able to be pleased."  When I read that quote I knew I was in need a great repentance.  I have been in this place for far too long.  I am so grateful for the gentle words of Mrs. Boyer and the wonderful reminder that the Spirit used to pull me out of my long wallow in bitterness. 

Other articles through the magazine include "Monsters, Inc, & God's Will."  Monster's Inc is one of my favorite Pixar movies (which are the only movies we watch and purchase) so this article was intriguing.  I don't want to ruin the end and tell how this movie and God's Will are related.  Buy the magazine.  It's well worth it.  :) 

There was one story printed in this magazine that had chills running up and down my spine as I read.  It's called "Push-Ups and Donuts" and the author is Unknown.  It's the story of a Bible profession trying to help his classes understand the true impact of the gospel.  He finds a way with the help of a popular athlete who loves Jesus.  I related to the story for some reason because I attended a small Baptist university in Oklahoma.  Although this was a private religious school, the gospel was absent in so many ways.  I would have loved to seen a scene like this take place on my own campus.  This story was so wonderful to read and left hope that perhaps the gospel can still be effective to a generation of children that seems so oblivious to it. 

There is so much more I could say about this magazine but I would really like to encourage you to purchase it yourself.  TEACH is well published.  The paper is slick and sleek with a shiny gleam to it.  The front and back cover are printed in color.  Each page is enhanced by wonderful graphics that really bring them to life.  TEACH magazine is a well published and I might say well loved by it's publisher.  You won't be disappointed. 


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Apr. 10, 2008 - More Tornadoes

Posted in Everyday Grace


If you still believe that tornadoes can't touch down in metro areas then you are really stuck in the dark ages.  I know that was a myth that debunked after the OKC tornado in May of 1999 (or earlier but that one was a whopper.) 

I had the most frightening experience last night.  First of all, my youngest has croup so my dh and I were up alot last night with him.  Underdog was up more.  He's so awesome.  He will always sacrifice his sleep to let me sleep.  Who says there aren't any gentleman left?    I tried to sleep but I couldn't.  I was really worried about Little Man. 

When I checked the weather at 8pm I heard that we were expecting a squall line of thunderstorms.  The winds were going to get pretty high.  But the chance of tornadoes were none.  That changed at 11pm.  We were told there was potential for tornadoes.  So I go to bed with the though on my mind. . .would I hear the sirens (like I wouldn't - they are 2 blocks behind me.)  Then Little Man woke up and I forgot all about it.  About 4am I woke up to strong storms outside.   My clock was flashing so we had lost power at some point.  Then I heard a huge gut of wind hit the house.  Then my heart froze.  The warning sirens went off.  Underdog had only just gotten in bed and fallen asleep.  I sat up and told him the sirens were going off.  He asked me what we should do.  I thought that was such an odd question for a man who is very controlled in temperament.  I asked him later about it and he said he was just really out of it because he's just fallen asleep.  I told him to get dressed and get the kids.  I went in to my closet (Praise God we had electricity) to get shoes because I didn't have shoes downstairs.  Next thing I know there are 3 children in my room.  They were rather calm for 4am in the midst of a tornado warning.  We sent them downstairs and they obeyed.  You would have to understand my surprise.  We really struggle to establish first time obedience in them.  And I have often warned them that one of these days there will come a time when they need to obey and they are going to question us at the wrong time.  I commended them in the closet on their obedience.  I was very proud of them. 

Underdog and I rushed into the boys room to grab the little boys.  I help The Linebacker Stater Kit down the stairs.  I think he flew down the stairs because I was going really fast and shaking to death.  I sent him after daddy and ran to the kitchen to grab flashlights.  Then we hunkered down. 

Nothing happened.  After about 15 minutes we noticed the calm.  The computer was down that Underdog grabbed so we didn't have access to the internet in the closet (I have a laptop that he ran to grab after a few minutes in the closet.)  Finally we decided to step out of the closet and check radar.  They were just announcing that the warning had expired for Collin County.  But that wasn't until after things had been damaged. 

I don't think they have determined yet if it was a tornado or not.  Some places we saw today looked like a sheet of wind just ripped through there.  Other places looked like a tornado had definitely gone through there.   A good portion of my home town still had power out today.  Trees and fences were gone.  We were very fortunate.  Yesterday afternoon there a county west of us that had tornadoes touch down.  Homes were destroyed and there were some injuries but nothing serious.  I won't say there isn't damage.  There were several homes in the process of being built that were leveled.  One gentleman I saw on the news today had his roof ripped off closer to Fort Worth.  We found out later in the news cast that he didn't have home owners insurance.  Ouch!!!  There were several schools and districts that canceled as well.  It was a rough morning. 

Schmoo had school this afternoon but I wanted to keep her home to rest.  But then I remember that all the parents had been invited to come observe the class to see how their day works.  With Little Man sick I couldn't have my babysitter come.  Underdog was so tired this morning that I was able to convince him to take a sick day.  That worked out well because his company didn't have power all morning.  He was able to stay home while I got to go to school with Schmoo.  More on that later. 

On a lighter note, our neighbors now have 5 expected babies.  If I can keep the Linebacker from going out that door and slamming it, we might actually have some eggs hatch in a few weeks.  It just occurred to me that I didn't see the daddy bird today.  I hope he's alright.  The wind was fierce last night.  It was so hard that we had leaves plastered to the sides of the house and car. 

I am headed to bed now.  I am tired and expecting to get up in a few hours with Little Man. 
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Apr. 5, 2008 - Meet My New Neighbor

Posted in Gracefilled Education


A couple of years ago I blogged on how my children and I had found a nest in the wreath on our front door.  It had a small bluish-green egg still in it.  We finally learned just exactly what bird made that nest and laid the egg.  Meet my new neighbor. 


This is a House Finch.  The picture you see above is of the male.  The females are also very pretty birds and I love to listen to them sing.  The momma has already laid one egg.  Unfortunately, my 3 yod forgot that we weren't supposed to go out the front door and he went in and out of it several times this morning.  I hope that doesn't scare them off. 

We also bought a bird feeder and specific food for the finch.  It took them 3 minutes before they found the feeders and went to town.  We are really excited.  I am trying to encourage everyone to stay off the front porch right now so we don't scare them away. 

The fun thing about this discovery for me is that it's renewed my love of homeschooling.  I was getting so bored with school.  This has been fun to watch and explore real life with my children.  We would never get to do this if my children were in school.  Everyone would be so tired by the end of the day.  As it is, we can watch these birds all day.  My 3 yod seems to really be enjoying the birds.  He will sit in my lap in the rocking chair by the window and just watch the birds.  His statement.  "God made them (meaning the birds)."  I love the real life conversations that come from learning like this. 

I have finally begun to realize that learning can't always be like this.  But we also need to look for more opportunities for real like learning rather than spending out whole time with our nose in a book.  My youngest dd will be spending time with daddy this afternoon planting flowers in the beds outside.  For her, that will be a real education.  She's been wanting to get her hands in the dirt for weeks now.  Later this week, we're going to set up a special box to grow seedlings.  That will come out of the Exploring Creation with Botany.   I am especially excited about that because we get to grow herbs and I have always wanted to learn to do that.  I have a black thumb so I am hoping I'll learn at least enough to keep these poor creatures alive. 
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Mar. 31, 2008 - Burning the House Down, Tornadoes, & Newborn Babies

Posted in Mothering in Grace


This is an update to my previous post.  The day only got more interesting!!!

*******************

Today has been a very typical Monday for us.  We haven't done "school" in over 4 weeks so it was time to get back into it.  My dh and I have been reading alot about Charlotte Mason's ideas so we've made some drastic changes to our school.  Everything this morning was fairly new.  Not the curriculum but the way we did things.  Our day started off well until I discovered that my children had decided the standards for chores changed since Nana and Gramps were here.  So I made them redo their chores this morning as a reminder that the standards haven't changed. 

Before I called everyone back upstairs, one of my children decided that he/she were going to help me get our oatmeal started for the morning.  I will let the older ones measure the oatmeal and water but never turn it on.  It's been a long running rule that no one turns on the stove or oven on unless I say so.  I definitely did not say to turn it on.  After I called the children back to redo their chores, I noticed this one particular child go racing downstairs.  I was smelling something "funny" by this time but my nose smells many "funny" things right now with the pregnancy so I didn't think anything of it.  Then the child returned. . .devastated. 

You have to understand that this child is very sensitive in his/her spirit.  There isn't too much discipline required on the big stuff because they KNOW when they are wrong and NEVER make that type of mistake again.  So when this child came into the room with tears running down his/her face I knew it was bad.  And then I remember what the smell was.  I didn't say anything I just ran.  What I found when I got downstairs was worse than I thought.  A burned pot of oatmeal I can handle.  Oatmeal cooked to the surface of my stove can be scraped off.  But this child didn't know that when you move a pot off the stove that you either move it to a cold burner OR you put a pot holder under it.  There is now a forever reminder of the burn oatmeal incident BURNED into my kitchen cabinet.  I always wandered what would happen if you put a really hot pot of food on the cabinet without a pot holder.  I got to find out this morning.

Ah, Monday!!  After my child burned breakfast (and ruined the only pot I had left to make anything in) we had no breakfast.  Tomorrow is shopping day so the cupboards are bare.  I ended up having to shuffle everyone into the car and run to Chick Fil A for hashbrowns.  God seemed to know something was going to happen because I found an extra $15 in my purse that I didn't know I had this morning. 

This morning provided me with the opportunity to remind my child of the gospel.  And I got a great reminder.  I remembered all the big mistakes I made as a child and wasn't shown much grace and mercy.  And the other times when I was shown grace and mercy.  Underdog hasn't seen the burned spot.  And this child definitely went out of his/her own and created the mess in the first place.  I don't know if there will be an earthly consequence for these actions.  Nonetheless, I am not mad or upset.  I never was.  I was scared that wouldn't show grace and mercy. I was scared of my tendency NOT to be merciful.  But God was merciful toward me and my family deserves nothing less.  So I held myself back and showed as mercy and grace as I could.

*********************

Later in my day I had plans to make a great lentil and rice casserole and fold laundry.  That changed suddenly when I got a massive headache and remembered we had a dry line headed our way.  A dry line always means severe weather in Texas.  So I checked the radar on the computer and notice that our area had a red box around it.  Then the radar refreshed on it's own.  Suddenly there was a purple box.  I thought purple meant hail so I called my dh to see if he wanted me to try to pull the car into the garage so we didn't get anymore hail damage.  He said yes so we headed to the garage to move things around so I could pull the car in.  When I got back in, I sat down to check radar again.  Then it struck me.  Purples boxes don't mean hail. .. . . .THEY MEAN TORNADO WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

My first though was don't panic and turn on the TV.  Sure enough, we had a cell headed our way and it was "scheduled" to arrive in 20 minutes.  The baby was still napping and both of my little boys were in cloth diapers and nothing else.  I got the closet cleaned out and put some food and the first aid kit in there.  The kids quickly caught on and panic set in.  I asked JB to change her baby brother but she was so scared she could hardly think straight.  I changed him and did convince her to help her other borhter get a new pull up on and some clothes on.  Then the sirens went off.  HELLO!!!!!  It did not look that bad outside but I shuffled everyone into the closet anyway.  I stayed out watching the weather on the TV and trying to convince one of our dogs that she needed to get in the closet.  As I watched the TV the cell just kept getting smaller and smaller.  By the time the most serious purple part of the cell got to us it was only rain.  I don't think the funnel cloud ever touched the ground.  Nonetheless, I was a little scared.  I am now convinced that it would be a good idea to put together an emergency box even if we never use it.  I just wasn't prepared for anything to happen.  We prayed before the sirens went off that God would protect us.  It was about that time that the cell began to fall apart.  My children immediately recognized that and it was fun to watch their faith increase. 

On a lighter note, I was invited to attend the home birth of a friend of mine.  i have never seen a live birth besides my own, so she welcomed me to come.  She wasn't getting started very fast so I assumed that I would miss it tonight.  Then her water broke.  He dh called me to come quick.  I missed it by 3 minutes.   She had the most beautiful petite little girl I have ever seen.  They don't have a name for her yet.  But little girl will be well loved in the family of 5 sisters and one big brother.  I felt privileged to be apart of the family sharing in that miracle. 

Although this day had ups and downs, it ended very well.  I wander what tomorrow will hold? 
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Mar. 29, 2008 - Yea!!! I got my first nasty comment!!!!

Posted in Everyday Grace


I got my first nasty comment on my blog.  Normally my face would flush and I would feel hot all over.  Then I would fume about how rude the commenter was and how they misunderstood the post.  But after reading their comment I realize this person really didn't have the intelligence to know what in the world I was talking about. 

I was going to use my post to make fun of my commenter.  I have decided not to do that.  The fact that this person can't write or use proper English is just a sign of one of the reasons WHY I have chosen to homeschool.  And I make typos all the time so I have no room to judge.  And there have been times in the past when I didn't fully read a blog and took something totally out of context or judged a person for something not clearly explained.  I am guilty of much more and deserve the wrath of God.  Praise God for His grace through Jesus Christ because I DON'T receive what I deserve. 

 Here is the comment:

Your child a speech issue YOU need your ego stroked by her so you can feel good about denying her what she deserves?  How sad is that, I can imagine the damage you are doing to your child.  I doubt God is thinking “WOW great job mom, your holding your child back because you need to feel good about you” INSANE!!!!

It came from the post "Update on my non-conforming 5 yod."

Do you know what I love about this comment?  It was intended to put me down.  It only built me up. I supposed it was a point of sanctification that God was using.   It showed me that I am doing EXACTLY what God wants me to do.  God may not be patting me on the back for some of my decisions with my dd. But  I am so thankful for grace because I don't make the right decisions alot of the time.  If I do use her to stroke my ego I am certainly wrong.  But again, there is grace involved. 

I don't feel I need to justify what we are doing with our dd.  I want the very best for her.  More importantly, I want to find the best way to help her so I can understand what she's saying and stop asking her to repeat herself all the time.  That hurts her more than anything and I can see it written all over her face when it happens.  I know this one of those fly by night idiots with nothing intelligent to do with their time.  I am not offended.  

One final thing.  If people are going to leave comments, they should have the courage to leave their names.  The person who made this comment referenced God.  I hope that person is saved.  But their theology is shining through and it's very poor.  God does not condemn those of us who are saved.  He's standing over us with grace to cover and grace to help.  "There is, therefore, now no more condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and are called according to His purpose."  What a wonderful thought. 

I digress.  The internet is a place where people can be anonymous.  I enjoy that aspect of it as well.  But when it comes to what we say, we must be very careful.  I am not speaking to anonymous here.  It is obvious how cowardly this person is.  I say this to those Christians who take their walk with the Lord seriously.  Be courageous.  If you are going to leave comments, check your spirit.  If you can't say what what you want to say in love, don't!  I see this so many other places on the web.  And I see it alot between Christians.  It's wrong.  We don't know the heart of the person writing.  Only God can know the heart.  In my case, only God can know just exactly what my intent with my dd.  I made a comment in that previous blog about how I asked my dd if she missed being home and I how I wish she were home.  It was a solicited comment at the time.  Perhaps this where the commenter thought I was stroking my ego.  Do you know what?  My dd told me on her own on Thursday that she missed me when she was a school.  I miss her too.  So this person who decided to attack me because I am supposedly using my dd to stroke my ego was wrong.  She's a precious 5 yod that loves her mother and isn't being deprived of anything but extra time with me at home because God has called us to treat her speech issues with the public school system.  Be very careful what your comments are on other's peoples blogs.  I am not hurt by this comment.  I laughed out loud when I read.  And I am using it an opportunity to have fun at the expense of someone how probably doesn't care.  I appreciated the opportunity to see that I have grown tremendously in the Lord.  But I have seen comments on other blogs that do bite.  And as Christians we should know it's wrong. 

Have a great day!!!
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Mar. 24, 2008 - Forbidden to Read Fiction!!!!

Posted in Gracefilled Education


Yes, it's true!!  I am forbidden to read fiction.  Every time I pick up ANY fiction book, I can't put the thing down.  I get so caught up in the story that it becomes impossible to put it down.  I will stay up WAY past my bedtime just keep reading.  I did it last summer when I finally sat down to read "Pride and Prejudice."  I did it two summers ago when I picked up "Little Women" and reread it after many years.  This time I picked up a book by Francine Rivers.  It's called "Redeeming Love."  Yes, it is a romance novel.  I swore off romance novel several years ago when I noticed myself become very discontent with life around me.  This one came highly recommended by a MALE friend of the family though so I thought I would try it.  The story is based on the book of Hosea in the Bible.  It's sooooooo good.  

I am thankful that my in-laws are here this week.  I have had a little reprieve from all the responsibilities of being a mom.  The kids are not clamoring for my attention like they normally are.  LOL!!!  Now they are clamoring for Nana and Gramp's attention.  I am still around for the basics.  But I feel kind of free just getting to read.  I have also taken some time to do some school planning.  With the baby coming next fall, I am changing school up a bit so we can finish most of it by November.  It's been nice to get to plan and order my curriculum early.  But the reading of my fiction romance novel has been the most fun.  I read for 4 straight hours this afternoon.  I had to stop myself so I could rest my eyes and my brain.  Too much twaddle with dumb mommy down as well. 

Well, I am off.  I am going to read a few more chapters and then make Tortilla soup for everyone to eat tonight.  Yummy!!!!!  After I finish this fiction novel I will be forbidden to read anymore fiction. . .until the next time I find a good book to lose myself in.  hehehe!!!
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Mar. 21, 2008 - I am SOOOOOO Sick!!!!!

Posted in Mothering in Grace


It's 6:20am and I haven't done my quiet time.  I am getting off in a moment to do that.  I woke up this morning so sick to my stomach.  It's been coming on gradually for the past 2 weeks.  Today I hit the mark.  The morning sickness has begun!!!!!!!  (Yes that was my official announcement!!)  I have had varying degrees of morning sickness with all of my babies.  I think this one will match my first pregnancy though.  I can remember literally running out of my classroom when I pregnant with m first.  I was 3 doors from the teachers lounge and the English teacher on my team was pregnant.  She understood so if she saw me run by she would step into the hall way to listen to my classroom. 

This could be a rough pregnancy.  Not only do I have morning sickness this time around, but there could be complication from the neglect of my previous midwife.  She recommended last time that I not receive my Rhogam because I didn't tear during the birthing process.  I found out much later, of course, that she wasn't licensed and I assume was trying to cover her trail of lies.  Blood doesn't mix on the outside where a woman might tear, it mixes on the inside when the placenta separates.  She was good enough to know that.  She just had a crumby character.  I am waiting to get my blood work done next week to find out if I have antibodies or not.  I am not sure where we will go from there.  I have to make it through my first trimester first.  That could be the first (and last) problem with the possible antibodies and the potential for this baby to have A+ blood.  (Although my biggest prayer is that God will allow us to have one more little girl.  If He hears my heart's desire and she has A- blood like her sisters, then all will be well regardless of the antibodies.)  The fact that my symptoms are growing is a good sign so far.  But I am not out of the woods yet.  

This baby will be our last.  Our quiver is full now.  I have had people tell me you just know.  I knew!!  So did Underdog.  :)  We love our little "big" family but we always felt something was missing.  This one was missing.  If it's in God's will for this baby to be born healthy at home, we will deliver our last baby sometime in November.  And I was praising God for the reprieve from early winter babies.  Three winter birthdays within 4 weeks of each other (not including my own) is stressful.  It's my pleasure to celebrate my children but it's stressful nonetheless.  Now I will have 3 snow (in TX?) babies, 1 spring chicken (she prefers chicken over pig - HA!), and two little pumpkins. 

We will find out the sex of the baby this time around.  We'll either do it through sonogram OR if there are antibodies, we will need to know the blood type of the baby (I think) to see if there will be any need for further monitoring in the womb.   That will mean an amniocentesis.  That is a big step for a woman that runs from intervention in pregnancy.  But I will do what it takes to protest my baby.  I have a tremendous amount of peace about all this right now.  My prayers are simple - no antibodies and/or A- blood type for the baby. 

I am off to do my quiet time.  I finished my apple and my stomach is settled. . . at least until the apple wears off. 

Oh, my in-laws are coming to visit today.  I am really excited.  It's been over a year since we've seen them.  They've only seen PeePooh once and they've never met Little Bear.  Everyone is excited.  JB, BroncoFan, and Schmoo all made welcome signs of some sort to hang up before they get here.  We have just a little cleaning to do left in the house.  They land at 11:30am this morning.  

God Bless and have a wonderful day!!!!!
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Mar. 18, 2008 - Drowning in Texas

Posted in Everyday Grace


I realize as I write this post that Texas is not the only state drowning.  But I live here and it affects me here.  HA!!!! 

I love rain.  Underdog jokes with me that I am probably the only person that could survive in Seattle.  The sun is too bright for me so I love overcast days.  LOL!!!  As much as I love rain, today was a bit over the top.  It's been a very long time since I have seen this much rain fall in one day!!!!  My backyard is a marsh now. 

I had to pick up my organic produce this afternoon around noon.  I had to go to the back for my money order first.  That was an adventure in and of itself.  I almost slipped when I walked in the door.   I almost said something but changed my mind.  Most businesses put up the little yellow caution sign that say "Slippery When Wet."  It's a lawsuit waiting to happen.  Then it took the teller forever to figure out how to give me my last $10 in one dollar bills.  My poor kids were stuck in the car by themselves with a thunderstorm overhead.  Pee Pooh got scared but everyone seemed to be helping him feel better. 

When I got to the host's house to pick up my produce it was pouring.  There were only two people ahead of me.  My host lives on a small acreage of land and their gravel drive way has no gravel anymore.  It's a muddy mess right now.  I feel really bad for them.  Their drive way was a lake today.  I had to wait nearly 10 minutes while one lady backed out of the drive way and then did a 3 point turn so she could drive out and not get stuck.  It's a tight squeeze in there for a large passenger van.  I decided to go ahead and back into the garage instead of trying to back out and turn later.  That was brilliant on my part.  I just had to wait for the 2nd lady in front of me to back past me and then I had to stay close to the fence to stay out of the mud (which I found out later already had someone stuck in it.)  I was able to back right into the garage so her poor kids didn't get anymore wet than they already were.  I really appreciate her family and their service in hosting this co-op for other families.  It's been such a benefit to our family. 

Getting home was also an adventure.  I had hungry kids and cleaning products everywhere which made making lunch hard to do.  We ordered pizza instead (which is a special treat for our family.)  But with all the rain, Papa John's was backed up nearly 2 hours.  I didn't see that when I ordered it.  My kids were patient though.  They ate their salad about 30 minutes before the pizza arrived and just watched "Cars" while they waited.  Even Pee Pooh ate all his salad. 

We have one more wave of rain coming out way in the next few hours.  That is alot of rain.  I think we need a break.  My backyard needs a break.  Two years ago we were in the middle of a drought.  Now we have enough rain to cover three years of drought.  We need a breather. 
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Mar. 18, 2008 - I Have a New Look!!!!!!

Posted in Friendships full of Grace


I just wanted to say thanks to A (I don't know if she would want me to use her name or not) at Mission Field Designs for the very quick and awesome job she did on redesigning my blog for me.  There are still few things to add and change but for the most part she's done.  It looks wonderful!!!!!!  I never liked the templates that were offered when I signed up.  And I never have time to figure out how to change it.  This makes me very excited to blog.  :)  Thanks again, A!!
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Mar. 14, 2008 - Update on my non-comforming 5 yod

Posted in Gracefilled Education


i thought I would right an update on what happened with my dd, Schmoo, when I dropped her off at her preschool speech class. 

Yesterday, I arrived just before the teachers brought my dd out of the building.  She was the first child out of the building in her pretty little spring dress.  Schmoo looked beautiful to me.  As I mentioned she had a pretty pink spring dress (like a polo shirt dress) with yellow flowers all over it.  She had her (imitation) Keds on her feet and her pretty little homemade bag.  I know of so many homesteading women who dress just like that.   They do all their gardening and "farming" in a dress.  So I decided that her teacher just don't know what a farmer looks like.  LOL!!!! 

But regarding the non-conformity, she didn't say a word about it.  She had so much to say about her day though.  Her first story was about snack.  The teachers made the kids vegetable soup.  Because Schmoo has food allergies, I pack a snack for her.  She had apples for "fruit".  When she told me that everyone else had vegetable soup I laughed out loud.  I told her it was a good thing she took apples because she doesn't like veggie soup.  She told me that two little boys didn't eat their soup either.  I admire the teachers for trying though.  hehehe!!!  (This gives me an idea.  I think I might try to include her in my next veggie soup venture.  She might actually eat something that she cooks.) 

On a whim this morning, I asked Schmoo is she liked school.  "Oh yes.  I love it."  My heart sank a little.  Then I asked her if she would like to go to school all day everyday.  Silence!!!  I turned to look at her and she looked worried.  I asked her what was the matter.  She told me that she likes being home with me and doesn't want to go to school anymore.  AH, the satisfaction of knowing I am doing a better job than her teachers ever could.  I told her she did in fact have to go back since it's only twice a week for a few hours.  But I am looking for alternatives. 

I am also trying to convince myself that it would be alright to remove her from this program if I did find something else.  Underdog mentioned to me when he got home yesterday that he didn't think the non-conformity lesson was for my dd.  He thinks the issues happened because God wanted to teach ME something.  If that is the case, can I muster the courage to obey the Lord and follow what I really want to do?  If I could have my way, I would purchase the NATHHAN (National Challenged Homeschoolers Associated Network)  Straight Talk and just work at home with her.  I am struggling to mention this to my dh because we went through all the trouble to have her tested and enrolled in this class.   I would rather conform and avoid conflict.  But I am just not convinced this is the best for her right now.  We are having to sacrifice alot of school and family time to get her to school two days a week.  I am not seeing the changes I would like to see (although it is still early.)  I have noticed that she's speaking even faster than before so I am having to slow her down.  Isn't this stuff they should be correcting?  How can they?  They only see her 4 hours a week.  And when I drop her off, I always hesitate.  She's my baby girl.  She's small.  She's innocent.  How can I just leave her?  She's my responsibility, isn't she?  How can I protect her when I am not with her? 

I suppose I need to pray about all of this.  I have grown a new appreciate for homeschooling through this experience with the public school.  And perhaps that was all that God wanted to accomplish.   He wanted me to appreciate what we DO have.  And I have learned my lesson.  Oh, to have my days back again. 

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Mar. 13, 2008 - The Madness of Public Schooling & Nonconformity

Posted in Gracefilled Education


No, I am not putting my kids in public school (although I am having one of those days.  LOL!!!!)  I do have one child that is in the system for a short period.  Our local districts offers early preschool articulation and language intervention for children ages 3-5 yod.  Because my youngest dd isn't in kindergarten yet and she's still 5 yod she qualified for this program.  And since we are broke right now (replacing the hail damaged roof isn't helping with that - HA!!!) we decided this was the best route to take for the time being.  It's madness though. 

Today the preschoolers were supposed to dress up as cowboys and farmers.  The sounds for the week are /v/ and /f/.  Well, I misread the little information sheet (it was mixed in with the announcement that Spring Break is next week) and I thought the dressing up was for AFTER spring break.  Oops!!!! 

First of all, you are reading the blog of a person who HAD to fit into everything she did in public school.   I did have standards but if it was "neutral" I wanted to fit in.  I felt really bad when I dropped her off.  But then I started thinking on the way home what madness this is.  Sure, dressing up is fun.  But the public school do things like this ALL THE TIME!!!!!!  It's madness I tell you. 

I decided on that way home that wouldn't feel guilty for getting my days mixed up.  It's good for my kids NOT to conform.  It's hard to see them feel left out but it's better in the long run.  My mother wanted to make me happy and she helped me run after all the things that I thought would make me popular.  Bless her heart she really did want to help.  But I needed parents that were willing to help me NOT conform.  Isn't that Biblical?  "Do not conform any longer to the ways of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."  Conforming to the ways of this world won't renew you mind.  It will suck all the life out of you and there will be nothing left to have your mind renewed.  Non-conformity is what I want for my dd.  I want her to enjoy herself despite not being dressed like everyone else.  I want her to be confident because Jesus is her Lord NOT because she's dressed in a silly farm hat and scarf around her neck.  There would have been nothing wrong with her dressing like that.  It would have been fun.  But it didn't happen today.  Will she be alright?  YES!!!  And if she does come home sad about it, then it will be an opportunity to encourage her not to be conformed. 

This experience with the public school has been a wake up call for me.  I don't want to do this on a regular bases.  I am so thankful for the freedom that I have to homeschool.  I am thankful for the freedom to be relaxed about school when we're going through a rough patch.  I am thankful for the times when I children can discover a baby snail that made its way into our home through the mode of towel left outside.  I am thankful for the ability to get up early and go enjoy the snow without having to worry that we had to go back in and get ready for school.  I don't have to dress my kids up in the silly costumes in order to make their lessons meaningful. 
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Mar. 12, 2008 - Shutting Some Things Down

Posted in Mothering in Grace


One of these days I am going to learn what I can and can't handle in my life.  I deleted my last post from a few days ago indicating that I was working more on another blog.  I decided not to do that anymore.  I am keeping my blog up but I just not going to add to it right now.  I am really not sure I have much to offer right now.  While alot of that blog is intended to encourage women toward natural living, there is more to my life than just that.  And I have forgotten about it. 

I have been interviewing midwifes recently because I refuse to use an ObGyn anymore (unless it's absolutely necessary.)  Midwives are gentle and more personal.  I think that is what women need when it comes to their intimate issues.  But as I have interviewed these midwives my passion for natural living had begun to grow again.  My desire to someday be a midwife has also begun to grow again.  But it's distracting me. 

If fact, I have become very distracted by many things that aren't important.  I have forgot my calling to be wife to Underdog and mother to the pups.   I have been complaining recently that we have way too much junk in the house and that things are way too disorganized.  I have begun to realize that I am responsible for that.  I have allowed the junk because I have fallen back into being a pack rat.  I haven't truly been training my children to put things away when they are finished with them.  And then I gripe at them when they don't.  I just simply haven't been doing that.  I think I had fooled myself into believe that I hadn't allowed the computer to take over but it has.  Hence the reason I am shutting down that other blog. 

I greatly desire to be a wise woman but I am not right now.  I have been praying that God would move me toward spending more time memorizing and studying His word.  I can't do that when I am dsitracted by so much.  I am not happy with school and I believe that we are out of God's will with what we've been doing.  So I am praying for a new direction with school.  But I can't discovered that direction when I have no time to pray, study scripture, or read. 

I have lost joy.  I want my joy back.  But I want to find my joy where God has placed me.  That means that I must die to all other desires in my life.  Being a midwife is a dream of mine that won't come to fruition until my children are much older (or maybe even gone.)  By that time the dream may have died.  Having a blog that is running well and enjoyed by others is also a dream of mine.  But how can I have anything to share that is worthwhile when I don't practice much that is worthwhile in my life. 

Besides, there is a growing burden on my heart to begin focusing on my daughters training as young women.  I read a blog recently on how  most young women today just are not compelled to believe that being a wife and mother is a worthy calling.  If they do, many believe that having a career is the priority and then they can pursue marriage and children.  I have even struggled to embrace this calling and understand the value that I have.  It's a thankless job.  And then I think of my girls.  If there is anything I don't want for my girls it is for them to struggle to believe and obey the truth that God gives them.  God created them to be a helpmeet for someone (unless of course they are called to be single.  That is a whole different ball game that we won't know for many years.)  I want them to be prepared to faithfully embrace their calling when they do marry.  It is my dream that they meet strong godly men who value family and value the role of their women.  And I don't want them to feel ashamed to WANT to be wives and mothers and to be ONLY wives and mothers.  I am in the position right now where I am having to remind myself daily that this is my calling and it's a noble one but if I can instill in them that Truth then being counter cultural won't be so difficult for them. 

I will continue to blog on here at homeschool blogger.  I don't have many readers though.  That is probably good.  If I had too many my pride would begin to take over.  I also reserve the right not to blog everyday.  I am a busy momma and it's only going to get busier around here.  With the grace of God giving me strength, I will be focusing more on my dh, my children, my home, and my school. 
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Feb. 24, 2008 - Feeling much better

Posted in For Your Health


Although I am still struggling with some achiness (which is really on going in my life right now) I am feeling so much better.  I turns out that there is a plague going around my church and I got it.  :(  I found out today that there were many families who were sick just like I was.  Thank you for all who prayed for me.  When I posted my last post I was really tired.  I didn't realize just how tired I was until I woke up the next day and reread what I had written.  There was so much gloom and doomsday.  LOL!!!!  I am feeling so much better though. 
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Feb. 19, 2008 - Suffering in(for) Christ vs finding a cure for what ails us!!!

Posted in For Your Health


Now how is that for a really big topic.  I have been contemplating this question for a long time.  Let me first say that when I say "ails" I don't mean like a cold.  The common cold can't be sured.  The immune system can be boosted but it can't be cured.  That is true for many diseases.  The kind of "ailments" I am talking about are chronic problems. 

I am a long time Candida sufferer.  In fact, it was the discovery of chronic Candida after my 5 yod was born that sent me on the road of natural living.  Unfortunately, I have more downs than I have ups with this.  And now I believe that I am developing symptoms of fibromyalia.  I have been suffering with many of the symptoms of fibromyalgia for a while.  I haven't seen a dr.  Mostly because I fear them simply throwing medication at me, patting my head, and telling me they are sorry.  URGH!!!!  My symptoms are worse when I know that my Candida is overgrown again.  It doesn't matter what I do.  I can't get rid of the Candida.  Several weeks ago I finally got to a point in my life where I gave up ever getting rid of it.  It doesn't matter what I do.  It's always there and it's always causing problems. 

That was also about the time I began to wander about how we, as Christians, determine if it's right to run after a cure for chronic disease OR if we should simply allow our bodies to suffer as a means of being a testimony to the grace of Christ in our lives.  I have read all the books and testimonies from Hallelujah Acres.  Wow!!!  But, um, in order to be "cured" you have to have a ton of money to afford all the supplements.  I could get the supplement but their most basic supplements have either barley grass or flax seeds.  I am allergic to both.  Other "books" and "resources" for Christians out there usually have all the support of those that promote the health wealth Christianity (which isn't Christianity, if you ask me.) 

What's the answer?  Will God frown upon me using my resources to run after a "cure"?  WILL I be wasting my resource to run after a "cure"?  I will admit that I haven't done any deep study on this in scripture.  I think I am rebelling against it.  I don't want to know.  I don't want to live with Candida the rest of my life.  But is that God's will for Christians. 

I supposed this is the theme of my life.  As I study through The Lord's Table I become more and more aware of God's call on my life to accept the limitations in my diet.  And I have rebelled against that idea for over 5 years now.  There is nothing more frustrating than being in a group of people fellowshiping over food and you can't eat any of it.  It's a lonely place to be.  No one understands it.  Frankly, I am not sure anyone cares.  They can eat all that they want and nothing hurts them.  These aren't just allergies we're talking about, although many of them play a roll.  No, we're talking about most foods.  Dairy feed Candida.  Sweets obviously feed Candida.  Yeast breads feed Candida.  Most fruit feeds Candida.  And if you have allergies and sensitivities to anything NOT in those categories, they will lower the immune system so your body can't fight the Candida.  It's really a lose/lose situation. 

Several years ago when I first found out that I have systemic Candida, I started taking all the necessarily supplements and went on that famous Candida diet.  It was right after I had Schmoo.  She was my first to breastfeed.  So in the midst of breastfeeding and eating a Candida diet, I lost so much weight.  I looked like death warmed over.  I looked gross.  My midwife and mom would "criticize" how I looked at the time.   What was a I supposed to do?  If I eat anything on the list of No-nos Schmoo and I would both have a flare up.  Being with my dh was painful in more ways than just one.  And fear took over.  I began to fear that if I ate just the wrong food, I would somehow die.  That wasn't helped by the anaphalaxic reactions I began to have to food I had eaten for years.  I didn't know what moment I would be calling 911 to come help.  I hated giving myself the EpiPen.  I hate needles.  I don't even look when they draw blood from my children let alone from my arm.  But to have to smash a needle into my leg.  I was able to give myself the EpiPen before my symptoms got too bad.  I hated it though.

I looked far and wide for a "cure."  Finally, after many months of failed attempts I met a woman who uses ElectroDermal screening to test her clients.  She could pinpoint exactly where the Candida (and parasites - they also contribute to a weak immune system) was in my body.  She used homeopathics and herb remedies.  And it all worked.  If I stayed away from the foods her tests said I was sensitive to and I stay faithful to taking the drops (they were liquid remedies) then the Candida was cured. . . .until the moment I decided it had been long enough for the Candida to have died off and all those great probiotics to recolonize my gut.  One indiscretion and it all came charging back.  OH, and the Candida would move.  Plus the list of sensitivities would change every time I went to see her.  I changed my diet to a more natural diet.  I spent about $100 more every month to get good food for my family.  I changed my diet to mostly vegetables and some fruits (in moderation for me.) 

Yet here I sit.  I ache all over right now.  Granted, I spent most of my night in the bathroom sick from something that I ate last night (either that or it's a virus.  Underdog seems to think it was something we ate because he had tummy trouble last night too.  But BroncosFan wasn't sick and he ate everything we had.)  So my achiness could be related to all that.  But I have had this achiness before.  I don't sleep well at all.  I wake up tired even after a good nights sleep.  My tongue has sores all over it (usually exacerbated by eating yeast bread or wheat.) 

I am complaining, I know.  I feel very alone right now.  No one really understands any of this.  I ask for prayers in my care group.  They pray over me but really it's foreign to them.  

I slept all afternoon trying to sleep off the achiness.  It's only worse.  I haven't eaten much all day because I wasn't sure if I could keep it down. 

I am not sure how to end this post.  I don't know what to do anymore.  Should I continue to seek a "cure" for the Candida?  Is the Lord trying to tell me that the "cure" is in the obedience to His strict diet that He seems to have created for me at this point?  If I could changed my diet and eat only vegetarian the rest of my life I would do it in a heart beat.  The struggle right now is that I have such strong cravings for the foods that feed the Candida.  That is where The Lord's Table comes in.  I am working through my overeating as a sin now.  And I believe that is where I should be.  But in the meantime, I feel like I am simply going backwards.  I am confused about the roll of the Candida in my life.  I want to know what the Lord is trying to teach me.  Most days I feel that He's just silent.  I wait hopefully for Him.  But I also suffer in silence.  I wish I had the strength to spend just hours on my knees seeking His face.  To be filled up with Him ONLY.  To put all this behind me and accept His cup in my life.  But I battle fatigue so much.  I want to run after my Savior but I often feel too tired to do it. 

My family is at Chick fil A tonight.  Underdog is serving me tonight by getting them dinner and then coming home to clean my produce.  I think I will take advantage of the quiet and run after my Savior. 


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Feb. 18, 2008 - Television?

Posted in Everyday Grace


I posted the following (see below) as a discussion question over at The Homeschool Lounge in my group Natural HS Mommas.  I would love to here others response on this.  I have posted before on the TV and it's problem in our home.  I would love to see a discussion really get started on it.  Why?  Because I think Christian tend to hold on to things that perhaps aren't so good for us.  It's part of our sin nature to do that.  We ALL have many idols in our lives.  I am probably chief of sinners in that area.  The battles I am having over food right now are simply stunning to me (the battle stem from the Bible study I am doing through Setting Captives Free.)  So many of us want to make excuses for the things that we do without fully evaluating the TRUE effects they can have on our lives and our walk with the Lord.  I believe it is this way with the TV?  Is the TV evil?  No.  Not in and of itself.  Is it beneficial?  Maybe in some cases (especially where it might help with education.)  Beyond that, what does it offer us?  Is there something better we could be doing with our time?  Is there something better our children could be doing with their time?  Like some books out there say, does it fry the brain?  Have you observed this? 

We are called to a peculiar people.  "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." (1 Peter 2:9-10)  Not watching TV would definitely make us peculiar in the world.  HA!!!!  Is there anything wrong with that though?  I think the lines between Christians and the world are becoming so blurred that everyone is beginning to believe they are a Christain just because they believe that a man named Jesus lived.   Does our viewing "American Idol" and other prime times shows contribute to the possibility that our testimony as a church might be watered down?  Does that sound extreme and radical?  Perhaps.  But isn't God an extreme and radical God who didn't stand for evil in His people?  

All of this is just something to think on and consider.  Again, I want to say that I am NOT judging people for watching TV.  This is an issue I am wrestling with as well.  I wrestle with it because I see that this one change in our daily routine really hurting one of my children.  I wrestle because I see my very bright children suddenly forget how to build a particular lego set they've been building for months.  I wrestle because I have certain shows that I really LOVE but I know they are not God honoring or glorifying.  And I wrestle because I sense that the Holy Spirit is calling me to stop it all together. . .and I can't seem to stop.  Praise God there is grace to cover all my sins.  (Perhaps as I find freedom from the effects of overeating and gluttony I will also find the freedom to say NO to these shows.) 

If you'd like to pop over to my discussion at The Homeschool Lounge I would welcome all comments.  Or you can simply post your thoughts here.  I am put my discussion below. 

************************************* 

I am curious if anyone considers a lack of TV in the home to be away of living naturally. I have felt for a long time that the TV was evil. Not just the content but the TV itself. It's been my 3 yod who has convinced me of that. And every time it's on I am even more convinced.

I haven't had the TV for over 2 weeks. It is usually on a little more during the fall to the end of January because of football season. But even then we don't watch alot. We will also have a movie night on occasions. It's been off for 2 weeks and my 3 yod was doing so well with his behavior. It's a long story but our babysitter last night let them watch a movie while she was here (with our permission.) And here I am again dealing with extreme behavior from my 3 yod.

I have also noticed that when my children watch it they struggle more to entertain themselves. School also become a hassle. My dh doesn't watch alot of football but it's on for at least one game. Then I had fallen back into using a 30 minute video to occupy my preschoolers. I know many veteran homeschoolers say that there is nothing wrong with that. But I have to disagree in that. That machine fries the brain on my little ones. For all intensive purposes, there is nothing natural about it. Perhaps I am a bit of an extremist in this regard. That seems to be the trend in my life as I learn more about natural and simple living. But I believe that the TV has robbed me of years of reading good books and hours of time I could have spent learning to sew and other fun stuff (like spending time with my family.) It's also robbing my children of their imagination.

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else notice a difference in behavior when the TV is off? I know that some people enjoy having it on. I certainly don't want to judge. Truth be told, I used to watch Law & Order SVU everynight after my 1 yod was born last January. I did that for several month and then cut it back to 2-3 nights. Now I am simply too busy to watch any at all. So I understand the appeal. That is why I don't want to judge. But I am reminded of 1 Corinthians 6:12 where Paul tells us that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. I supposed that is how I see the TV now.

Any thoughts? Share your experiences with the TV. Maybe this discussion isn't so much about natural living as just living in general. But I would definitely be interested in knowing everyone's opinion on the matter. Is not watching TV or having one at all a way of living naturally?

In His Grace,

Karen
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Feb. 16, 2008 - This is what we woke up to this morning!!!!!!!!

Posted in Everyday Grace


I have lived in TX all my life but I have never experienced a hail storm we had this morning.  Pea size is usually what I have seen and it's been few and far between.  This morning was an experience that was exhilarating and frightening at the same time. 


The squares on this towel are about an inch wide. 








(I don't know if you can see the side walk with the hail versus the white rocks we have in flower bed.  Some of those are rocks but they are a brighter white.) 


We checked the cars.  Underdog's car is in the shop so we have a rental.  My Monster seems have sustained a few digs but what can you do.  I think we have more storms coming this afternoon.  I guess we'll see what happens. 
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I love having a place on the web to simply write out my thoughts. I am a wife and mother to 5 very special blessings ages 6 months to 8 yod. As I am growing through this season of my life, I hope to share how the Lord is teaching me to live by His daily grace and not by my own strength.

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