Jul. 11, 2007 - Know It Alls
Posted in Friendships full of Grace
I have decided that I don't like people who "know it all." You know those type of people. It doesn't matter what the topic is, they ALL about it. And, of course, you know nothing about. And yet, they may indeed, know it all. But why do they have to let you know that.
There are so many times I feel very frustrated in conversation with friends that "know it all." What I observe in people that "know it all" is that this is a means of covering insecurity and avoiding the very appearance of their own sin. They must look good in all situations. It manifests itself in many forms. The one I have seen most as a young mom is the "know it all parent".
When I first became a mother I was extreme insecure. Like most new mom's I had never had any interaction with a newborn. I had no clue what I was doing. Naturally I turned to the only resource I had at the time. . .the internet. Now when I first became a mom Babycenter.com was just becoming popular and so was the message board. I quickly joined. What I discovered (and it took a long time to get tired of it) was that these boards are a feeding frenzy for the "know it all parent" and they feed off the quite insecurity of the one that (thinks) they knew nothing.
I have been a mother for over 8 years now and I feel pretty good (finally) about where I am at. There are still areas that I am insecure but I am learning that prayer and looking to godly counselor helps alot with that. And I have to say that I finally to the point where I tire of "know it alls". There is usually one in every group of people. They must have the first and last word. They are always right. And what you have to say has no value. . .even if you are the expert.
But I also must admit that I am humbled. As much as I am tired of the "know it all" I can't walk away from this discussion knowing that I am like that as well. I have my areas that I "know it all." Some of the "knowledge" comes from experience, some comes from insecurity, and some comes from the simple fact that I have learned very interesting things along the way and I am dying to share that information with someone. I am learning to be discerning about when and how I tell people. I have a long way to go though.
I have been dealing with this a little with one of my children. He's never been tested but there is part of me that would love to have him tested for giftedness. I was a former teacher and I had some interaction with some truly gifted children. I also married one!!! So I suspect that there is a chance he might test in the gifted category. The problem is that his sinful pride lets him see and recognize on a daily basis that he's got something his siblings don't have. He uses his knowledges against his sisters. He will correct them in not so kind ways. He fluants what he knows by answering math answers when I am tutoring his older sister. He is beginning to use it to humiliate people (which I think is what drives the "know it all.") He antics drives me nuts and I call him on it.
I have been trying to explain to him that this is a gift. God has gifted him with a wonderful ability to take in knowledge and analyze it differently. But it's a gift that must be used wisely. Pride will and has begun to grow in his heart. I believe it's my job to teach him to be humble about his abilities. First of all, he must allow others to notice it. He must always be gracious when he knows that others are wrong. He must NEVER try to be right about anything. And he must always be willing to learn, even it means learning from those who may know less than he does. I believe a teachable spirit is a true sign of humility. And God honors the humble.
One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor.
Proverbs 29:23
I think we all have the propensity to be a know it all. God has gifted us with knowledge about certain things. We may not know everything but we've been gifted in certain areas to be considered perhaps a professional in that area. Scripture is very clear that knowledge puffs up (1 Corinthians 8:1). Our knowledge will often cause us to be prideful of what we do know. The rest of 1 Corinthians 8:1 says that "love builds up". It takes a very humble person to walk away from a conversation not fluanting that knoweldge.
Often when we assume we do know it all, it's the very thing we know very little about. Perhaps that is insecurity in us that comes out. They try to run people over so they won't look dumb. But ultimately it's the sin of pride that drives this though. God will humble that pride one way or another. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone, especially Christian, choose to be more like Jesus who humbled himself, even to death on the cross. Which one will you choose?
A prudent man conceals knowledge,
but the heart of fools proclaims folly.
Proverbs 12:23
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