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It seems that almost every day there is another article or news story featuring a deteriorating aspect of the moral trainwreck that is British society. We have Europe's biggest debt per person, the most binge drinkers, the most teenage pregnancies, the highest rate of obesity, spiraling rates of violence and bullying, growing numbers of failing marriages, etc., etc., etc. It seems that much of Great Britain has cast off all restraint. People justify themselves with comments like, "I can't help the way I feel; I didn't mean to fall in love with someone else," or "What can I say, I just love my food," or perhaps, "Whatever little Johnny wants, little Johnny gets, no matter what it costs." Teenagers are taught, don't say "no" to sex, just be sure you are responsible and do whatever necessary to make sure there are no negative consequences with your instant gratification. In short, we no longer consider SELF CONTROL to be a necessary part of the human character.
The apostle Paul predicted this hundreds of years ago: "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control...." (2 Timothy 3:1-3). Thousands of years ago, Solomon in his wisdom warned us as to what happens when self-control is no longer considered necessary: "Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control" (Proverbs 25:28).
Many parents today raise their children with the attitude: "What can I do? They're going to be that way anyway." The result is that children are not taught self-discipline, and they are not trained to have self-control. The knock-on effect of this is that children are often impolite, and they have little or no regard for the needs and concerns of others. It quickly becomes "every man/child for himself." As Solomon says, the result will be like a city whose walls are broken down.
As parents we have an obligation to teach our children that there are times when they may have to wait for that next video game, that they may have to give up that extra sweet that they are quite certain they need for their very survival, that there are times when we go without so someone else can have what we want. Training our children means that we teach them to have their own system of self-regulation in regard to their needs and their wants. The most valuable method of training we have at our disposal is to teach them by example. As we live self-controlled lives, so our children will begin to follow. At our house we are currently working on the way we speak to each other--volume, tone, attitude, words, etc--and we are trying to learn the art of self-control in our language and conversation with each other. We've got a long way to go, but we're working on it.
Our world has largely lost sight of the art of spiritual discipline, self-denial, and learning to control oneself. As a suggested starting point, Dallas Willard, one of the greatest spiritual writers alive today, has written a great book called, The Spirit of the Disciplines. In this book, Willard sets out some of the forgotten practices that were a regular part of the life of Christ, and the life of believers in the early church. We owe it to ourselves and our children to take the time to be properly trained in those things that are going to lead us into a fuller, more productive spiritual life. It's time to do our part to rebuild the walls of the city.
Bruce Garrison |
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