May. 9, 2008 - No more blogging until... I don't know when :O)
Hello there fellow blogger friends! I wanted to take a moment to jot a quick note...
Since most of my postings are along the line of how the Lord is working in my life (that is mostly what I always journal about anyhow - even in my notebooks at home) - I have an urge that I need to continue this journaling in my notebooks at home instead of blogging it on the computer. There is nothing at all wrong with blogging! I have loved every minute of it! I have loved every minute of reading your posts too! I am so happy to see that there is a huge circle of sisters in Christ all over the world.
I guess I could just simply put it this way. I feel the urging from the Lord to leave this means of journaling and to keep it going only in my notebooks (pen and paper) -My prayer journal / The place where I keep a record of the Lord growing me grace.
Thanks for all the sweet comments and encouragement! May the Lord bless your homes richly!!
I leave this scripture
Isaiah 30:15:
15 This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:
"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.
And
Isaiah 32:17:
17 The fruit of righteousness will be peace;
the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever
May. 3, 2008 - My Bridegroom in Shining Amour
Do you like the word bride or wife better. Easy one for me -bride.
In Bible study (Breaking Free by Beth Moore) we were asked to mention a few words that bride might imply that the word wife may not. I wrote a fairytale romance, everlasting bliss, charm & beauty, a constant adoration from the bridegroom, like a never ending honeymoon.
In Jeremiah 2:2 it says that like a new bride you loved me and followed me out to the desert into unsown land. (My paraphrase)
Isn't that what a bride who is head over heals would do for her bridegroom - in her young, devoted love follow her man, her prince, her bridegroom to the wild wilderness?
Then in Isaiah 41:18 it says that in this place He will bring forth rivers that flow from barren heights, put a spring in the valley, put water in the desert, He will turn a dry and thirsty ground into water. (my paraphrase)
Then the question was this... this is what I wanted to blog, but to set the stage I had to share the scripture above first.
How about you? Describe a place where you followed your Bridegroom. What did He have for you there? my answer: I painfully followed Him to face my largest fear which was fear itself. He was there every step of the way even in times I felt all alone and scared. Then at just the right time He showed up. He was my Hero, my knight in shining armor who rushed into battle with NO fear and slayed the dragon to rescue me - His bride. Now I have a spring of gushing water in this place instead of fear. His spring of fresh water adorns me with His peace and tranquility and an everlasting refreshment that allowed His bride to breath in freedom.
He is Deliverance and VICTORY. That's our bridegroom. He wouldn't have it any other way.
It really blows my mind at how much Jesus loves us. I can't even put my mind around it. Oh, how He loves us! A lot of the fear that he freed me from was self induced due to things I have done in the past from my own choices. I deserved to be there reaping the consequences. Yet, He still looked down and delighted in me and rescued me! Psalm 18:19 I LOVE YOU JESUS! I am humbled by your grace and love for us.
Read Psalm 18 and be rescued and know how much your bridegroom adores you - His bride.
Apr. 29, 2008 - DID WE JUST HAVE FAMILY TIME?
Mondays are our small group night.
Well, we decided that we would take 2 weeks off from small group, last night the first. Well without thinking of it Monday evening approached and I knew that we weren't having group. (You have to know that usually when I know that I am going to get my family all to myself I become so selfish about it and want for it to be all planned out and on everyone else's mind to be just as important - sounds crazy, huh?) - I can't believe what I admit on this blog 
! I just hope that this transparent side of me will only be a blessing for someone else to not repeat my faults in their homes.
I just love my family to pieces and in times like this I can tend to go overboard without even meaning to and totally end up being the very one who has spoiled it all. It's called expectations! I put expectations on the evening to go so well and to how the "family quality time" should be spent. (That is a BIG no-no, don't do that, learn from me, please! - just relax and let the Lord lead - let the hubby lead!
)
Anyway -- I never even had the thought that is was a "family night" ~ I was relaxed, sort of not even knowing it - all glory to the Lord because this has been the desire of my heart to change in areas like this. Let me just say -PEACEFUL and it felt good! So my husband took this time to catch up on our son's math while I made supper. Then we ate and we had a good fellowship over the table as my husband and daughter watched my son and I devour the biscuits with honey. There was no stress with the agenda of what we should be doing just because we have "family time". It was so peaceful - it's strange because without me even knowing it there was not even a plan at hand ~ I had no thoughts going on in this area at all (so unlike me - usually I am having to force myself to not make the "plan" and here it is naturally happening right under my nose!). My daughter then asks if we can play a game. (We love playing games together) She had been asking for this for about 2 weeks now and we have been turning the idea down simply because we have been tired with all the activity going on lately. As soon as she asked it came across my heart that I would LOVE to play a game with the children and my hubby, but I stayed quiet about it. Something else came over me to want to wait to let my husband be the one who responded. He was so tired. He had such a long weekend - He hung drywall with a friend in the 4th bedroom!! And had to wake up so early this day to go off to work when he really would of rathered slept in a bit. Before I knew it he said, "Yes." So we cleared the table and played Rummikub together.
As we played there was absolutely NO arguments, no sore losers. There was lots and lots of laughter and even team work although we were all against each other! I don't know if I can remember a time like this before, usually we always end up having to deal with some character issues at game time!! It was absolutely a wonderful time!! Of course when the game was over our daughter wanted to play again (I did too secretively), but daddy said, "No." We all understood.
Now the kids and I crawled into my bed to read the next chapter of George Muller. As I was reading, we came across the word 'toiletries'. Neither one of my children knew what that word meant. My daughter went on to say that she thought that the trees were used as toilets which cracked my son up! Then because he was all cracked up it cracked me up! We had tears coming down. Now, this reminded us back to the time I was reading Pippi Longstockings -you can read about it HERE . My husband was looking on and couldn't help but to chuckle himself - good, pure laughter is contagious! 
Well that was it! That was our "family night" or "Family quality time" whatever you want you want to call it - it was wonderful!
Okay, so the moral of my story is... God blesses obedience! My prayer has been to change this ol' controlling heart of mine. To change this untrusting heart of mine. I say untrusting because I never have had the intent to be 'controlling' because I crave superiority over my household or dominance over my hubby. It is because I always had this nagging fear that if things don't just go this way, then something bad will happen or we might not be able to have had the best of time or safety, etc... So, without thinking of what I was doing I began to step all over my hubby's role as leader of the home and not to mention I easily could get in the way of the Lord's will for our family too! So, when it boiled down to it - it was a lack of trust that everything will be okay even if it doesn't physically seem as if it would. It was a pure struggle for me to begin to let go and let my hubby handle things - really, let the Lord handle it. So, as it started out it was not my joy to step back and watch things unfold before my eyes that clearly didn't make sense to me! I had to bite my tongue on many occasions out of nothing but pure obedience to the Lord. I would pray that as I worked on controlling this bad habit of 'control' that the Lord would begin to do a miracle in me. That He would put it into the wellspring of my heart to become a natural tendency of mine to trust my hubby's learderdhip in and over our home, To trust the Lord, To have patience and to not always be the Quick fixer of all things! Last night was living proof that the Lord is still in the business of miracles. You might say, miracle?? Well, if you knew the extent of my struggle then you would agree. This is not a change that I could have made on my own! It was the Lord's doing in a painfully yet willing heart that continued to endure and persevere that He did this miracle in! So, I praise Him!
There are other things that I have decided to hand over to the Lord and here lately the Lord has proven His mighty hand at work through this servant's heart! I am telling you that He hears, he hears our prayers. Don't give up. Keep praying with a sincere and willing heart. He truly hears and delivers.
And the ending to this long story (sorry). My hubby took advantage of us all gathered on the bed to say our night time prayers. It was then when I finally realized how the Lord had blessed the evening and that He was at work in the changing of my heart and the renewing of my mind. He was indeed answering my prayer to make this virtue to be a natural part of my wellspring rather than a struggle that I had to fight with the blessed tool of obedience. My husband gave thanks for a great time that we were able to spend as a family and the joy that was mutually shared among us all. I just smiled while he prayed those words and gave more thankfulness to the Lord in the quietness of my soul.
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Apr. 24, 2008 - Time
I have been blessed with a new thought about time. It used to be about how I spent each day - did I make my day productful, how did I engage the children today in our activities, or the big one of feeling gulity because the errands, the doctor appts, grocery shopping, cleaning, has all gotton in the way of my time today of investing in the lives of my children. I can crawl in bed when the day is over and truly be overcome with all the things that got in my way of spending the time I wanted with my children. I gloomily think, "Well, I always have tomorrow."
Well, the truth of the matter is I do always have tomorrow. But, my burden has been lifted. In this wonderful Bible study, Breaking Free, I have been blessed with a new little nugget. ~Time is a trust that has been given to us.~ I have gone from thinking about the time that is only in today (because we all may be able to say we could use a couple more hours in the day - but for me lately, I may fall asleep anyhow even if a couple more hours were granted to me! ) to knowing... The time that has been alotted to me on this earth has already been known and established by the Lord. It is a trust to me and I have been given the freedom to use is as I may. Lord, may I use it with your purpose and effectively planting seeds of good harvest in my offspring and the generations to come. It's no longer about the pressure of how much time I have in a day to accomplish all the things needing to be done - so what if the laundry didn't get taken out right away once the dryer buzzer went off. It is about using my lifetime not my "day" to leave a leagacy for my children and my children's children and so on.
Wow, I don't know about you but that sure is comforting to me!
God is so good, can I say it again! God is so Good! O I just can not stop praising Him. He really does hear our prayers, He really does know the effort and good intentions of our heart when we cry out to Him, and He really is tender and merciful to those who turn to Him. Here is a piece of scripture that is so wonderful!
Hebrews 10:35-39 (NIV)
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he promised. For in just a little while,
"He who is coming will come and will not delay.
But my righteous one will live by faith.
And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."
But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.
Apr. 23, 2008 - Convention Time
I seem to have a love hate relationship with the homeschool convention this year. I want to go, but I don't want to go. I have been for the last 4 years in a row making this the 5th if I go this year. There is not one workshop that I feel like I must attend this year. And, I don't have a specific curriculum that I must check out this year. But, with all that said, I still feel like going! Why??? Maybe, it is just the environment that I love so much. Maybe, maybe it is all the good books that I love to be around ~ I love good books! It could be that it is just a great time to hang out with my fellow homeschooling mom friends.Well, I need to decide very soon. To get the discounted rate I have to register before May 1st!
Apr. 22, 2008 - Adoption
Ok, so twice yesterday while I was cleaning up I heard on the christian radio that was playing in the living room speak about adopting. I still cannot pin point in my heart if this is truly the direction of the Lord for our family yet, but is stoped me dead in my tracks with goose bumps everytime I heard it. The Lord knows without a doubt that we are earnestly seeking Him in prayer to grow our family. So, you may ask then why not go for it?? Well, there is no rush, funny enough while my heart is aching to have more children in our home it is oddly to the contrary agreeing to be content to wait. (I haven't always felt that peace though - you could of talked with me 6 months to a year ago about this and I could of just fell apart on the floor in tears over it all.)
I am so thankful for this peace. This peace is in no way a personal achievement, oh no, it has only come through the grace of the Lord Jesus. It is still something that I daily surrender to Him because if I don't then it will eat me alive. But, I got to tell you - He is fatihful. He is my sustainer and through Him we CAN be content in all things.
We sold our 2 seater pick up truck. Now we are operating off one car. Boy does that feel weird. In all our years together (we've been married over 10 now) we have always had 2 vehicles. It is not that tuff for us though. My hubby has a work vehicle which is such a blessing because it comes with a gas card too! He is allowed to keep it on the weekends as well. The only time he can't use it is on vacations. So, we are not totally stuck with the 'only one car' blues.
What does all that mean? Well, my husband and I are desiring a mini van. How in the world will we ever get one of those? The money we got for the truck is going to pay off debt. Well, we are praying that the Lord will bless us with one. We are not asking specifics in prayer as to how, so I am not sure if we will have to buy one or not, but we are tusting for His timing and His provision. We are in need of a minivan to support more children. Yes, yes, I want one to support more of 'my' children, but before that blessing has come along yet the Lord has blessed us with some young teens to be toting back and forth to chuch on Sunday mornings and other youth functions. We cannot fit all of us in my Taurus, so my husband has to use the work vehicle available to him to tote kids around too! It is such a blessing to be maxed out like this!! I mean we are a snug bunch in the car
. Please pray for these new babes in Christ. Some of their parents are athiests and now they have become somewhat odd in their own homes with their faith in Christ.
Quick praise note: My hubby had invited 9 kids to the church spring break camp, 3 of which gave their hearts to the Lord, and 2 of those have continued to come to our church ever since!
My sweet, sweet hubby took off yesterday because we have just been ran ragged with so much going on between home and minisrty/activity at the church that we needed a marriage/home breather. He was able to get our garage cleaned up, half of it has already been converted into a 4th bedroom. We just need drywall, floor, and paint to be finished - sounds easy, huh? Well, we are not the home improvement type, but slowly and surly we are trudging along 
. My husband plans this Saturday to start the drywall with a friend. This along with the truck being sold is confirmation that Lord's timing is approaching. I've been praying that He will prepare all our hearts and our home for a new child.
Ephesians 3:20 - Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
God bless to you all.
Apr. 17, 2008 - Quiet
I feel quiet lately. Have you ever felt that way before? I haven't felt much to blog lately. Lots of great things have happened though!! I've had lots and lots of excitement stirring in my soul for Jesus Christ! But with all that excitement you'd think I'd want to shout about it loud from the roof tops, but yet I feel a quietness over me. It is a nice feeling. However, I will shout some here in the quietness of my blog. ~ The Lord is good and his unfailing faithfulness that He has towards us is to be forever praised! The Lord never, ever goes back on His word and His promises ring true over and over again - and the amazing thing is... He will never change His mind on us, He will never reshape a promise in order to "fit" our earthy performances- No, He stays the same and so does His Word. Isn't it absolutely wonderful to know that no amount of mess ups in our lives will alter the goodness the Lord has prepared for us? That is grace. The Lord's love simply can not and will not ever be earned. I am so thankful for that. If that doesn't cause someone to want to live out a life of thankfulness before the Lord, then I don't know what would.
Apr. 10, 2008 - ALIVE
For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow;
That is Hebrews 4:12a
Did you notice the words: word, living, and active?
Yes, have you found it to be true for yourselves? Is the Word of God living and active in your life? If not, well then you are missing out because still the Word of God is alive and active even if you fail to recognize it. The Lord is not still, His word is alive - it's living and active. He is on the move - He is moving in my life, I can recognize it. Can you?
Does this mean I will understand the whole big picture - no. But, the Lord is gracious enough to give me Words of life that are sometimes just enough to keep me holding on. (Do you ever feel like that?) I am told that I will not understand everything on this side of Heaven, but that I can trust and I can take courage because He is with me.
Other times His Living Word is so full in my spirit that all I want to do is jump around in joy like a child with no care in the world! I want to shout praises from the roof tops like a crazy person until everyone understands and knows the joy of the Lord! (Do you ever feel that way?)
Then there are times I am just quiet. Quiet, as I let the Lord move over me, teaching me, admonishing me, polishing me. I know I need these times. Sometimes, I find myself praying the Psalms - Search me O God and know my heart, test my thoughts, see if there be any wicked way in me.... and lead me, lead me into the way of everlasting. Oh, these moments are not so fun, but for me they are so needed. Sometimes it’s as if a child who subconsciously cries out for a spanking to rid the folly in his heart. Sounds silly, I know, but, I love the Lord that I can come to Him for His direction. I couldn't do it, or recognize that I even need to if His Word was not alive in my spirit and on the move. -On the move to finishing this good work that He has started in me. (Have you ever been here?)
Don't miss out on the Lord's movement in your life. It's happening everyday. It's called a relationship. Meet Him at the table He has prepared just for you and bring His book, His living Word, your Bible. Don't search for Him through others' prepared devotions and studies (although these are GREAT things and I highly encourage you to participate in Bible studies). However, there is nothing better, nothing can compare to when you -YOU- just come to the Lord to meet with Him with no agenda, no outlined study. Just you and Him growing the personal relationship that you have. God will speak to you, but you have to meet with Him.
Apr. 9, 2008 - A day in the life of our homeschool
9:30am -daughter's piano lesson
While she is in her lesson I sit in the car this time and peer over some of my past journaling. I study over an entry I wrote out of Jeremiah. I read prayers that I wrote in the past. I can see where the Lord has answered and where I am still waiting. I love journaling. It is so neat to be reminded of the Lord's blessings. Sometimes only a journal does best at keeping these treasured moments alive.
10:15 am we are in the grocery store.
10:45am we make it home. I explain the lunch plans for the kids. I am on my way out to meet a friend for a post birthday lunch (it was my birthday - I'm 30 now!! ). I am quickly made aware of the kids arguing soon after I leave through a phone conversation. (ergh! I told them to be nice). But, amazingly my husband took care of that (over the phone). Later I got a call while I was eating from my daughter asking about making sandwiches. She sounded so peppy and cheerful and then she said that after their lunch they were gonna play UNO together!! Thank you Lord for allowing that to turn around so quickly.
1:30 I get back home to find my children so happy together. You just have to know... that delights my heart so much to see them like this. I am very saddened when they are the opposite.
Soon we quickly dive into "school". (Mind you I really do believe that the piano lesson, the grocery shopping, and the kids learning to deal with their disagreements -while I was gone- and on top of that, becoming friendly with each other afterwards. They could of just agreed to disagree and went their own separate ways instead. To me that was all "school" as well. Nothing is better to me than to see my children learning to work their differences out. Oh, and feeding themselves lunch too!)
We did Bible time. Today we read about Cain and Able. We focused on the intent of their offerings and how the Lord is more concerned about the heart than the actual offering. We prayed.
I read a chapter aloud from the Book The Lonesome Gods by Louis L'Amour. Boy, this book getting so good! There are a few words of caution so far, but I change them as I read along. There is some subject matter that is of some concern - like the Indian religious culture, it is very light, yet I still change the wording a little so that they don't fall on innocent ears. I would however not have any hesitations for my son to read this on his own. It is so cool... the boy's father is dying and he couldn't stress enough to his son as part of his 'last words of wisdom' about getting an education. He would make comments along the lines of, even if you never get a proper education, if you have the love of reading you can learn anything.
Then we moved onto the continent we are focused on right now:
Since I am big on trying to build my children's vocabulary (and mine too) I still use the suggested vocab index cards for the geography terms. I wrote a list of all the words we were behind on about 12 in all. They have this neat book Geography From A to Z that they use to get the definitions. On the line side they write the definition and on the back side they draw a picture of the geography term. Wow, they really get into this! They love to draw and with such detail and great color.
While they did this I read from the missionary story that goes with that continent. George Muller (
Now we load up and go to a close trail and head out for a walk. We found a shaded area and I rested against a tree while the kids threw a nerf football back and forth. They planned to do a couple tackles as well. This was so funny to me because my daughter is a dainty, very small framed 9yod and my son, well he is a GIANT!! Everyone thinks he is as least 15 yrs old. We move on and walk down to a little play area. I find a bench in the shade and lie down while the kids play tag over the jungle gym. I looked up into the deep blue, blue sky. It was such a beautiful picture the Lord has painted. The clouds moved through in such a majestic way yet they were not invasive as to cover up the blue. So, I had lots of open sky to stare into - pretty neat! I have heaviness upon my heart that I have been praying about and this was such a beautiful moment to spend time with the Lord over.
Now we head back to the car. It was a good walk a little over a mile with some good play time.
I drop my son off at nana and poppa's to mow the yard and bag some leaves.
My daughter and I come home and cleaned up a bit. I stirred the crock pot. We are having 15 bean soup, brown rice, and home made cornbread. (My husband and daughter like this bean soup - not me and not our son.)
My daughter took this time to also work in her PACES - science and social studies. She also did a page from her Math U See book. She does these things on her own usually when she wants to. Although, I do check in on her math and drill her every now and then. I make sure she is doing things correctly before she moves onto the next lesson.
My son called, he was ready to come home. He goes right to his independent studies too as soon as he gets home. He works out of his Wordly Wise 3000 book 7 (vocabulary). With this book, I thoroughly go over the new vocab words and then he independently works through the lesson on his own. I do check his work before he moves on to the next lesson. He works in his social studies and science PACES and I even think he does a page in his Apples: Daily Spelling Drills for Secondary Students. It is always a treat to see my kids work on these subjects because most of the time it is at their own free will when they do so. I don't have a schedule for them or assign them. It is neat to see them desire on their own to pursue this 'learning'. I figure they aren't going to retain anything at all if I force feed them - I didn't as a kid in school.
Now it is time for supper. Not sure if it meant anything to ya to read about a day in our homeschool life, but thanks for stopping by. I hope to write about a Day in the Life of our homeschool at least twice a month mainly for the purposes of journaling to add to our portfolio.
Apr. 4, 2008 - Schooling updates
We have had a very relaxed month. Lot's of reading. My wonderful husband has taken over the area of math with our son! Praise the Lord! I have never been a big fan of math after the basics: adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing. However, I did teach fractions to our son. My husband is teaching the metric system and decimals right now. We use Math-U-See and we love it.
My daughter and I just finished up listening to the whole Felicity series from American Girl. In the beginning of this series I was a little troubled. Felicity had some issues with disobedience that never really was addressed. Felicity also makes fun of her best friend's sister (she was a snobby little girl - I can understand her reasoning for not liking her). I didn't appreciate how her poor character was so outwardly displayed through a number of events with no real consequence from her parents. It seemed as if she was always 'let off' because she always 'meant' well. But, we still proceeded to listen to the books anyway. Reguardless of my grumbling the stories were very good and captivating. We both loved them and the best part -history came alive, which is our favorite way to learn! The last book in the series is so good and very rewarding - I am glad we stuck with it! It was a story about forgiveness, repaying good for evil, and reaping the benefits.The stories were full of what I would call true emotions, real feelings, and real lessons learned. My daughter and I were able to discuss Felicity's character flaws in the beginning, and how over time she blossomed into quite the admirable young lady. The books are not Christian per se, but they do have brief moments where church is mentioned and scripture is quoted. We have never been fans of the American Girl dolls themselves but I think we are hooked on the books now. We'll be reading some more.
I have just learned that there is a Christian unit study on the 7 American Girl series. Portraits of American Girlhood for grades 2-5. I am actually interested in this even though we are not too much of a 'curriculum' kind of family. What intrigues me is the use of such good literature. I would hate to buy something and just have it sit on the shelf for the next couple of years! I wonder if anyone out there is familiar with it and could shed some light on it for me?
Mar. 26, 2008 - For the display of his splendor
Why does the Lord set his captives free? Well, in Isaiah it says that they will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
Can you see it? Can you see the Lord going out to his grand garden and saying, "Aw another oak of righteousness, I think I will plant it right here, yep, right here is just the perfect spot."
Can you see Him step back and take in the sight of beauty? The beauty of the delivered all planted firmly in just the right spots and He calls it a display of His splendor.
Are you an oak of righteousness? Have you ever been delivered, has the Lord ever set you free? If so, then yes, you are one of His oaks of His righteousness planted in His display of splendor. (Overwhelming, huh - I know, I can scarce take it in, will you say with me, "I just love Him so much - He really is my all in all." )
Let's see... Has He ever bound up your broken heart?
Has He proclaimed freedom to your captivity?
Have you ever been a prisoner (not to physical jail cells, but rather a prisoner held in the bondage of a physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual chain) and the Lord gave you a release from that darkness?
When you've mourned, has the Lord been your comfort?
Has a crown of ashes ever been traded in for a crown of beauty? (Have you been delivered from guilt and shame? Are there scars of healing instead of old gaping wounds that are still oozing?)
Have you been given the oil of gladness in place of mourning?
And what about the garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair?
Have you said yes to any of these? Praise the Lord! I don't know about you, but the Lord's goodness just brings tears to my eyes.
This is Jesus.
This is the Jesus who spoke these words to his fellow neighbors in .
Please read Isaiah 61:1-4 for yourself and see what the Lord intends to do with those who are in captivity.
I am in awe as to this GOOD God we serve! He is GOOD and He is for our good not because of who we are, but simply because of who He is. This is for His display of splendor (wow) and He calls us (the delivered) oaks of righteousness and He personally does the planting in His own garden that pleases Him. We should be jumping up and down that we serve a God who has nothing but the best of interests for our lives even when we've been called to walk through the valley. He doesn't seek to free us because it is of some personal gain or benefit - I mean come on He owns the world - He does it because it brings Him pleasure / splendor. Psalm 18 says He rescues us simply because He delights in us. That's humbling. Doesn't it make you feel so special? And so special to the one who really counts - Jesus. He really, really loves us! Not only has He saved us from eternal separation from God, as if that wasn't enough, but no he didn't stop there... He has also come to set the captive free! Halleluiah!
Well, my friend, I do have to admit that I am in a present season of emotional bondage. For whatever reason I have been allowed to walk this long season so far of a pressing issue that is reoccurring that has taken me emotionally captive. My heart is surrendered to the Lord's will, but I can't lie and say that it is a piece of cake to keep surrendered - no, it is very painful. While this pain has not 'consumed' who I am in Christ I can easily say that the pain still haunts. Why has the Lord not delivered me of this pain yet? I don't know, but I can say that He has been faithful to comfort this broken heart and I can add... This emotional bondage that I have been allowed to suffer has brought me into a more intimate relationship with my Savior. There are parts of this suffering that are pure treasure; those are the parts where Jesus has met me to bring comfort.
He really is faithful - He has said, "Never will I leave you and never will I forsake you."
So as I studied I was asked - How does God want you to respond to what He showed you? This is what I wrote:
That I can't forget all the chains He's already broken - He is faithful to continue. Don't act like all hope is gone. This is for Him - not for me. He takes pleasure in freeing the captive. It is for the display of His splendor. He IS a good God.
note: This stemmed from my first week in Breaking Free. Our ladies' small groups are all doing this Bible study at our church.
God is Good! Bless you my fellow readers!
Mar. 24, 2008 - BOOKWORM!
My daughter said this morning, "Mom, I think I've become a bookworm."
Yes, Yes, Yes! I love it!
She read a whole short novel this morning; she couldn't put it down. It was one of the Culdesac Kids books.
We are also currently listening to Felicity from the American Girl series on audio (CD) in the car. We just finished up the first book, four more to go in the series.
I am also reading aloud The Lonesome Gods by Louis L'Amour, and Anne of Green Gables.
That's alot, I know! But it will take us a long time to get through them - no rush! I have high respects for all of them so far, except for Felicity - the story has not won my heart yet, infact I have a few hesitations, but I can't post on that now. We''ll give the next book a try and see from there.
Hope everyone had a blessed Easter! We did, with family and friends as we celebrated the risen Lord!
Mar. 20, 2008 - Happy Easter!
If you reject Him,
He answers you with tears.
If you wound Him,
He bleeds out cleansing.
If you kill Him, He dies to redeem.
If you bury Him,
He rises again to bring resurrection.
- Charles Spurgeon
Mar. 17, 2008 - literally - I'm a work in Progress
Proverbs 3:5-8:
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
Do we take the Bible literally? Okay - we always hear verses 5&6, but how often do we include 7&8 into our thoughts? In verse 5 it says that we are not to lean on our own understanding... and, in verse 7 it follows up by saying do not be wise in our own eyes. Obviously, it is telling us that we cannot see the whole picture unlike the Lord who can. When we have things all planned out... The kids are going to be "well taken care of", the hubby is all lined up for good stuff, and your heart is simply at peace because YOU have got things under control - all is well. So, you think... it was all your understanding... it was all "your" wisdom, and then all of a sudden at the last minute things change. You start to feel the panic... but, the kids... things were so well planned out and I had such peace knowing that they were going to be safe (because "I" made careful arrangements and with such detail). And the husband... he was going to be doing such and such today which added so much more comfort while mom was away from the fort for the day. And now what... It's all changed!?! It can't change because it disrupts my safe feelings! And now that I am nervous and afraid of all the what ifs... you can guess what creeps in next... anger!
I have to note: I am not a yeller, I am not a thrower, and I don't throw hissy fits. No, I just let the anger bottle up inside and of course the ones I love the most get hurt the most. Yea, silence can kill, so to speak. Then when the silence finally breaks and I can tend to do the brat thing I am just plain ugly! I know I am ugly because anger feels ugly on the inside. No one can win when I am just so mad. I am right and I have a perfect excuse to justify why I should be upset or have my feelings hurt. Oh, and I am the one who keeps a happy face on in front of the kids as so to protect them (but, they are smart - they can tell that something is up.) Do you know what I am saying? Am I speaking anybody's language or is it just me?
So, I am calling out to the Lord in my distress and I hear the Lord in His still quiet voice surface a piece of scripture that I haven't quoted in a long time. Proverbs 3:5-6. (Just a day before, I fell upon this verse in my quiet time - funny how the Lord works :O). I took careful notice to the next two verses that followed.) I continue to hear Him telling me that everything is okay and that I can trust Him because He is for the good of me.
Back to the truth:
When I trust the Lord even when circumstances around me are not going the way I would think is best - that is healthy for me, physically healthy. When I am not trusting I am allowing that to actually eat away at my bones - literally.
I think that anyone would have to admit that anger is not fun, no matter how one may differ from the next in how they express it – it is not fun. The consequence is not fun. The Lord doesn’t have to show us through a series of events in order to discipline those He loves when they don't trust Him. That is not to say that He wouldn’t, I’m just saying that physically, anger can take enough toll on the body and that to me is consequence enough. I physically get exhausted, pooped, and wore out when I let anger (because I am NOT trusting Him) get the best of me. I give so much wasted energy and focus on it that it lierally drains me! (Yes, even me, the one who has a 'contolled ager' and who is not throwing things.) It really is as if my bones just say, “OK, I’ve had enough for today I can no longer physically keep on going - I'm just to tired to keep holding your flesh up.” It just can't get more literal than that. I'd hate to see what this ol' body might look like in years to come if I don't wholly surrender this issue over to the Lord.
This is an area that I need to work on in my spiritual wholeness. I need to really meditate on these verses and ask the Lord to soften my heart because obviously I had too hard of a time surrendering my anxiety (Not tursuting) this weekend, and yet the Lord still showed His love. What an awesome God we serve - I want to serve Him with a trusting heart and a thankful life. Praise Him for His undeserving grace! Lord, I take no delight in my mistakes, in fact I can hardly bare the thought that I grieve the Lord's heart with my stubbornness, and yet at the same time, I can barely contain the praise that I want to lift up and to honor Him with knowing that no trouble I can pose is too much for Him.
I am a work in progress. The Lord has borken me in many areas over the years since I have allowed Him to be the Lord of my life instead of just fire insurance. Things have been going pretty good for me and then here creeps up this new sense of lack of trust. What is it... is it hormones - is it the 30's - or could it just be plain old fashioned sin! 
What ever the case is, I need help and I need to be broken of it.
O Lord, let me not ever seem to take advantage of your mercy and grace, but instead offer myself to you as a living sacrifice of thanks and gratitude for your goodness that you have and still choose to pour out over me. Help me Lord to take this well known piece of scripture and to truly make it well known into the very well-spring of my heart Lord.
Mar. 13, 2008 - Homeschool today and science at the ice cream parlor!
It was around noon after lunch that I had a devotion with the kids. This week we had a mini series on forgiveness. It just happened that way, I had no plans to 'teach' forgiveness. On Monday, I read out of a Charles Stanley devotional book which had us read the 3rd chapter in Genesis and today it lead us to Hebrews.
We spent about 20 minutes on Bible time/ prayer this afternoon.
Next we snuggled on the couch and I read aloud the second chapter of Anne of Green Gables. It was sooooo good! We love Anne's imagination and her way of looking at the world even from such and unfortunate circumstance. We have seen the movie many times, but already the first two chapters are already bringing a whole new delight to the story. My daughter said, "Mommy the words in the book are so big, but I understand it!" How's that for building vocabulary. My son was a little edgy at first to sit and listen to a "girl book", but as I read on he was excited as he told me what should be next in the story because he too has seen the movie.
Now, I spontaneously decide to make supper for a dear mentor of mine who recently suffered a heart attack. My daughter helps me make up some homemade corn bread to go with the meal. I planned to deliver it around 5pm.
Next my son takes his math test. Usually on Fridays he takes the test, but Dad is taking off tomorrow.
My daughter takes this time to do her 20 minute practice on the piano. Although, before this I sent her outside to get some sunshine because she was complaining that she wasn't feeling well. While she was out there I heard her dribbling the basket ball for a little bit and then came back in happy. (She never brought up that she was feeling ill again 
. - I didn't think she was sick )
Now all the dinner preparations are done for my friend and we head out for a walk down to the lake. It was a beautiful day. My kids may not ever want to admit it, but they are each other's very best friend. They can get into little tiffs here and there but they really do love each other. They do almost everything together. I got to lay down on this swinging bench and feel the cool breeze and listen to the birds chirp above my head as I watched the sun glisten on the top of the lake. Best of all, I watched my son push his sister on the swing then watch them head down to the shore. They kicked their shoes off and waded ankle deep in the water as they laughed and played. They found some big shells and dug a hole together. I got to see all this and bless the Lord for his wonderful gift to me, my children, all while I got to do one of my favorite all time childhood memories - laying outside in the beauty of God's creation!
We head back home which is about a 15 minute walk.
My daughter cleans and paints a hugh snail shell that she found at the lake today. It is very pretty!
I deliver the meal to my friend and her husband.
That's our school for today. If I would of posted my day from Tuesday you would of seen some more actual "school work". Tuesday is the only day to claim me actually sitting down to teach this week - can't do it tomorrow cause Daddy's off - whoo hoo!
The rest of the day just turns into the normal clean up the kitchen and make supper for my family and then clean up the kitchen again. But.... we did have a nice treat after supper, we went to get ice cream down town.
You might laugh at this (I am!)... We had science as we ate the ice cream! We sat in the parlor which is a very, very homey atmosphere with the couch and T.V. - Animal planet was on! We watched it for like 30 minutes, well after our cones were gone! My daughter and I could watch animal planet all day long! We were learning all about Costa Rica's animal life and their natual surroundings. I LOVE homeschooling - learning is everywhere even when you'd least expect it. - We don't have cable so, you can see my excitement here, can't you !?!
ps- my son does have some PACES that he works out of on his own (Science & Social Studies). I did see him working on these a bit today. I got these for him so that he could have something to make him familiar with words like 'protons and chemicals and biology' without using a text book and having to do all the experiments. I have no expectations for him as he works in these books. I don't grade them, but I do check over them and highlight the ones he gets wrong so he can go back over them. The use of these booklets also aid to give him a back ground in having study skills. He is actually learning that you have to read to be able to fill in the blanks and that you have to refer to the previous pages when you don't know the answer.
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