|
Jun. 23, 2009
The Promise Ring Chapter 8
Here is the 8th chapter of my story The Promise Ring. If you haven't read the rest here is the first chapter. If you haven't read the last chapter in a while, here is a link to it. Oh, and for those of you who have been following the story, I have changed Mary's age from 6 to 8.
Chapter 8
Copyright © Saved Girl. All rights reserved.
Monday morning Crystal awoke with a sense of dread. It was another school day and she was extremely tired.
She spent her morning quiet time in the word and prayer. She asked for strength for the day and that she would have a sweet spirit. When she rose from her knees, she felt a peace and assurance that the Lord would be with her throughout the day.
She then turned on some music and busily prepared for her day. She entered her closet and stood humming along as she looked at her clothes. She finally decided on a swirly jean skirt that went to her calves. Most of the other girls would be in gym shorts and tight shirts, but Crystal liked to be neat and modest.
She laid it on her bed and then returned to the jungle of her closet to grab her favorite purple shirt.
Once she was dressed, she braided her hair and went to Mary’s room.
The girl was sleeping sweetly with her stuffed horse held tightly in her arms and her brown, slightly curly hair spread on the pillow. Crystal smiled at the sweet scene and gently shook the little girl awake. Mary’s eyes flew open and she sat straight up. Scanning the room with her wide blue eyes, she exclaimed eagerly, “What is for breakfast?”
Crystal laughed. “Well, you are certainly a morning person. I don’t know what we are eating yet. I will go downstairs and make it and you need to rise and get ready for school.”
“All right,” she said. “Can I play first? I want to finish a dramatic scene that is taking place in my doll house. Sarah is lying on her deathbed, and she must ask for Karen‘s forgiveness.”
“No, you need to prepare first. But if you hurry and are finished before breakfast, you may.”
Crystal left smiling at her sister’s vivid imagination. Crystal had a more practical personality but her mother had always made it clear to her that she should not try to make her sister a model of herself.
Crystal scanned the cupboards for an idea for breakfast and finally decided on a general favorite; cinnamon toast.
Later as Crystal was entering her school building she was greeted by a few girls that she had a slight acquaintance with. She replied with a polite hello, trying not to stare at the extra short shorts one was wearing. “I am already known around school as the crazy nut that only wears skirts,” she thought. “I don’t need them to start saying that I am judging them for the clothes they wear.”
She always felt so awkward at school, feeling as though every one was staring at her. She stepped inside her classroom and sat down ready to begin her day. She was glad that she enjoyed her first subject, math.
Later she sat down in the cafeteria for lunch she heard a voice from behind her. “Hello.”
Crystal turned to see a girl her own age standing by her chair. Crystal smiled slightly and returned the greeting.
The girl sat down next to her. “So you’re new here, huh?”
“Yes, I am,” Crystal replied. She looked at the girl and was struck a bit of odd rebellion to fashion rules. She had shoulder-length pigtail braids that looked slightly messy, with parts of her auburn hair sticking out in some places. Her green eyes were sparkling with vivacity and life and held a hint of amusement. She wore jeans that were a bit too short and a pink shirt that had strange ruffles on the ends of the sleeves. Crystal fought the urge to laugh but then considered that perhaps many other girls probably felt the same way about how she dressed.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you. Your name is Crystal, right?”
“Yes,” Crystal smiled; glad to have met a friendly person.
“Mine is Kelly,” the girl said. “I-,”
Suddenly another girl came by the table. Crystal recognized her as the most popular and fashionably accurate girl in the school. She was followed by a few girls from her normal entourage.
“Hey Kelly,” she said. “I wanted to talk to you about…,” her voice trailed off as looked at Crystal.
“Hi Addi,” Kelly said. “I’m just talking to-”
“Oh, I know who you are talking to,” the girl said in a disgusted tone.
She turned to address Crystal. “So I see you are wearing your usual clothes. What did you do, go to the dump for that stuff?”
A few titters came from the other girls behind her. Crystal even noticed Kelly trying not to laugh.
“And where did you get that name, Crystal?” She laughed. “Sounds like it’s, like, straight out a prissy hymnbook. It is so plain.”
Crystal blinked back tears. “My mama picked out my name. It means pure.”
Addi rolled her eyes. “Oh, yes and we know all about you being pure and all that. I think you mom could, like, use some help picking names.”
She reached down and put her hand on Kelly’s shoulder. “Kelly, come on. I want to show you some music I have on my ipod.”
They all left and Crystal looked down at the remains of her lunch. She was no longer hungry so she rose and dumped it in the trash. The tears kept threatening to spill and she knew she had to get out of sight. She half-ran to the bathroom and leaned against the wall, letting the tears come.
When the bell for class sounded Crystal walked out of the restroom with her head held high. She had managed to remove most of the tear stains from her cheeks. She was determined not to let the girls know that she had been crying.
“The part that hurts the most is that I thought I was actually going to make a friend,” Crystal thought as she walked to the classroom.
Later Crystal was sitting in her science class when Mr. Dakins said, “Class, I need your full attention please. We are going to have an assignment.”
He held up a stack of papers that were stapled together. “Each of you will be given this paper to read and will during the week, prepare a speech that uses the material. A week from today you will present your speech to the class.”
Crystal winced, wondering what the material was about.
“There is a more complete description of the assignment on the sheet,” he continued. “Class dismissed.”
Crystal rose wearily from her seat and walked out of the classroom.
Later as Crystal was preparing dinner, Mary came down the stairs from playing in her room.
Crystal walked over to her and gave her a hug. “Hi Mary,” she said.
“Hi Crystal. What did you do in school today.”
Crystal’s throat tightened at some memories of the day but she tried to focus on the bright spots.
“Well, I learned some very interesting things in math today. I learned about something called logarithms.”
“Wow, what are those?”
“Uh,” Crystal paused. “Well they are…,” she laughed. “You wouldn’t understand them, Mary. I don’t even know if I understand them.”
Crystal had a thought and began speaking tenitively. “Hey, Mary. We have some time before dinner. Would you like to read with me for a little while?”
Mary’s face brightened. “Sure. I’ll go get a book.”
She turned to go but Crystal stopped her. Crystal drew her close and hugged her tightly. “You will always be my best friend, won’t you?” she whispered.
Mary hugged her fiercely in return and replied. “Of course I will.” With that, in her usual impetuous manner, she was off to find a book.
|
| �
Post A Comment! �
Send to a Friend!
|
Comments
|
|
|
|
Posted by 
Posted by Anna aka ALadybug 
Posted by 
Posted by 
Posted by 
Posted by 
Posted by 
Go read my very own Andi story by clicking on the above graphic!
Jun. 24, 2009 - nice!
But why did you leave me hanging? I really am interested in finding out what the assignment is. It's probably some evolution thing, I bet.
I can tell you where my interest really perked up and when it waned a bit.
I was most interested when she was in the cafeteria with the new girl, Addi, and wondering why the girl was wearing that weird stuff. (good description!). I especially like conflict, so the mean girls kept me going. :-)
My interest waned near the beginning, when you did a lot of telling--just the ordinary, every day things before the "good" stuff happened at school (good meaning, "exciting stuff"). :-)
It's important to do the interaction between Crystal and Mary, but not big chunks. Little bits and things, to keep the story flowing.
There, you have my "un"official opinion. I really like Crystal and how she's standing firm, but you're also showing the reader that she's not a real tough soldier, but a hurting girl who stands firm anyway. Nicely done.
Edited by SuzyScribbles on Jun. 24, 2009 at 8:53 PM