Even though I'm tired(I'm always tired, seems like) I must continue to keep in focus and on my lips God's word that says I can do all things thru Christ who strengtheneth me.

My father in law(FIL) passed suddenly last Tuesday.  What an awful day for us and for my husband's family.  Even though I am married to their brother my in-laws are just like family to me so I wept and sobbed with them and for them. 

So our house was the 'gathering place' for my in-laws and their extended family.  We received a generous outpouring of condolences from people who knew my FIL and his family.  The entire week we hosted people(family and friends) everyday.  Along with the condolences people brought food, food, and more food.  It was so touching to see that so many people cared about our grief and time of mourning.

So we buried him on this past Monday(2/27/2006).  He was 68 and the coroner seems to feel that he had a heart attack.  He was a smoker so the fire chief has concluded that he dropped the cigarette and that started a blazing fire in his part of the house.

So needless to say our homeschool was interrupted by death.  At the funeral service though, we had a grand ole time in the Lord praising God that my FIL is with Jesus and he does not have to contend with this 'sin-suit' of a body.  He has shed that now and is a peace and God has made him whole. 

We had no idea that he would pass like that.  I don't think my in-laws even knew how weak his heart was.  I know I did not.

So there were questions to answer from my dd6 about death and what happens to the body when you put it in the ground, etc. 

I don't quite know how to record that in my report to the school district.  As far as I'm concerned learning has happened in these past 2 weeks.  It's just not academic, meaning falling in the boundaries of reading, writing, spelling, math, history, geography, music, art, etc. 

I doubt they even care about my children learning that death is a part of life.  All they want is for the child to spend 5 hours a day doing schoolwork for 180 days within the confines of the academic subjects.

Oh well, such is life. 

God is still good. 

Psalm 115:16(Amplified)  says

Precious (important and no light matter) in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints (His loving ones).

I praise God for His strength in getting us thru these past 2 weeks and for getting us thru the coming days, weeks, and months as we pass my FIL's house going about doing errands and knowing he is not there....but finding solace in the fact that he is with the Lord and we will see him again.....

I lead a Moms In Touch Homeschool Prayer group every Friday.  Moms In Touch is an international ministry where moms get together for one hour to pray for their children and the schools they attend(whether it be private, public, or homeschool).  You can view more info. on them here at their website. 

Me and one other homeschool mom have been praying over and for our children together since January last year.  We've also been praying for God to add more homeschool moms to our group so that we can all come together and support each other in prayer and we have a vision for all homeschool children and (homeschools which include the entire family really) in our area to be covered with prayer.  In this one hour intercession is also made for the teacher of the students.  In our case since we are homeschooling the teacher is us, the moms (and dads). 

It has been an absolute blessing.  I gave my testimony about 2 weeks ago at our support group meeting how when I started this group with the help of my regional coordinator, Martha Barnett, who is such a sweet-hearted, prayer-warrior of a mom, and we started praying for our children God would speak to me in our Moms In Touch prayer-time and showed me me.  He did not speak to me about the children but about me.  And showed me that I am the key to the many prayers being answered for my children.  Since my children are with me (and dh) most of the time if I don't have my life grounded in the Word of God and in relationship with God Himself then I could do them the MOST damage...let alone any public school!!!!  If I was going to teach my children about this life of walking and talking and knowing God then I had to live it in front of them.  Nothing drives people (and children) away faster and harder than hypocrisy.  If I attempt to teach them to live one way while I'm living another that is hypocritical in their and God's eyes and that can do a child a world of hurt and confusion.

Oh I did not want that, so I shared all that to say that as I started praying every week God started changing ME and not necessarily my children.  He changed me first.  And as I changed I found the atmosphere in our home surrounding our lesson time(table time, read-aloud, etc.) began to change and I found we started having an easy "flow" to our day.  I could sense it and I would follow the leading at the moment as to what to study, what not to study, how to explain it, what examples to use-some of this came ON THE SPOT as I'm teaching.  And I'm beginning to see my children flourish under this covering and in this atmosphere.  Even in my prayer and CONTINUALLY asking and seeking God and being sensitive to needing to make any mid-course changes and corrections in our curriculum, daily schedule, etc. I believe He has led to the study the Principle Approach..something I never thought I'd be doing but very grateful I have found this gem of methodology.

So all that was a plug for Moms In Touch.  It is a wonderful opportunity for moms to come together in agreement for the lives of their children...to build up that prayer wall so when the enemy does come he runs right up against a wall of prayer and gets kicked back.  How important it is to pray for our children and as one brochure from Moms In Touch states..."If YOU aren't praying for your children, MOM, who is?"

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Praise report:

My praise report today is that 3 other homeschool moms have expressed an interest in praying with our prayer group.  One mom said Friday was not good for her so we will be discussing another day that is good for all of us to come together to pray.  So I'm picking up 1 new mom on this Friday.  My co-leader will be speaking to another mom and once we get a new day of the week the 3rd mom will join us.  So God is adding to the group...Hallelujah!!!!  One can put a thousand to flight, Two puts ten thousand...how much power becomes available when 5 come into agreement??

We serve an awesome, mighty God!!!

I got my book A GUIDE TO AMERICAN CHRISTIAN EDUCATION FOR THE HOME AND SCHOOL-THE PRINCIPLE APPROACH by James Rose. It came yesterday.  I started it last night and read until I fell asleep.  I got soooo blessed just by the introduction  by Rosalie Slater.  The part that got me the most was her summarization of the section on the way James Rose presents the study of Geography.  She quoted Arnold Guyot and how he commented on how God created each continent unique and individual to fit IT'S OWN purpose.  That blew me away...that God would so care about the earth, HIS CREATION, that He would put that kind of care and thought into where He placed each continent, the animals that are native to that land, the climate for each continent, the vegetation that would naturally grow...God did all that for His own purpose.  I've been able to grasp how much He cares about each one of His people and how He fashioned us in our mother's womb but NEVER did I see the world He created in this way...that He would care so much for it and just how full of purpose God is...He doesn't just DO or CREATE things just to create things....But it just confirms so many scriptures that speak of the goodness of God.   We serve a GOOD GOD!!!! In my education in public school I NEVER(or even at home), NEVER, NEVER was told or introduced or even led into such a concept.  Only now at the age of 39 and 1 husband and 3 children later am I coming more into the knowledge of how big a God I serve or just how kind and gentle and thoughful and purposeful He is.  How amazing!!!! How awesome!! 

Ok, and that was just 4 pages into the introduction. This book is 500+ pages long and has 2 columns of writing on EACH page...talk about chocked full of information!!!   I look so forward to reading the rest of this book and gleaning much revelation, understanding, and insight into God Himself and the world He created. 

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The second exciting thing that happened was the dh took the day off from work today and surprised me with him not having to go to work at 3:00pm so we spent the entire day together...just me, dh, and the children.   I really enjoyed our time together(we were able to sneak in some time alone, too )

So I guess today was a vacation day for everybody!!!

Now that they are all in bed I think I'll go start in on my new book!!!

I cannot really find the words to express my thankfulness, my appreciation, my JOY at being able to be home with my children AND to homeschool them.  I'm thankful God led me this way...this was/is my heartbeat-my family, my home.  I'm thankful that the Lord has given me TIME TO LOVE....

TIME to learn how to follow the leading of His Spirit as He shows me HOW to love my children...

TIME to pick the crying baby up(for the umpteenth time) at bedtime to kiss him one more time, to rock him again, to hum in his ear as he croons his little song right along with me, to let him play with my face in the dark and listen to him laugh/cackle from deep inside of him as he enjoys time in mommy's arms, again, right before I lay him down, AGAIN.  He's only 1 once...I've been given TIME, TIME TO LOVE....

TIME to allow my persistent daughter to climb in bed with me in the wee hours of the morning because she 'wants mommy'.  I don't have to be anywhere in the morning except home raising my little brood and she's only 6 once....I've been given TIME, TIME TO LOVE....

TIME for my middle son to keep getting up and tell me 'one more thing, mommy' when he should be in bed.  He's only 4 once....I've been given TIME, TIME TO LOVE...

TIME to look at 'one more video', TIME for an unplanned hot chocolate/tea time before bed, TIME for one more cookie, TIME to play outside for 5 more minutes. 

Help me not to rush this TIME, Lord.  Help me to know when to take the TIME Lord.  Help me not to live my days just for bedtime, the children's bedtime, that is.  Help me to use this TIME that you have given me to the fullest...so that I'll have no regrets later on. Thank You for this TIME, Lord.... for TIME TO LOVE.

deidra roberson

8/10/2005

10:50pm 

Isaiah 40:11

He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young

The thought came across my mind a little while back that if God gently leads those that are with young-that means mothers; mothers who have children, especially young children-there is a certain gentleness about the way God leads and deals with mothers who have young(I envision babies).  So if God Himself leads moms with such tenderness how much more should moms lead their young with the same tenderness and gentleness? 

This verse and this thought really strikes a cord in me, almost tearing my heart up inside b/c I remember the days when I CHOSE to react to my children with IMPATIENCE.  I remember the days I CHOSE to raise my voice b/c a mess was made and all I could see was an extra thing for this very tired mom to clean up and do.  I remember the times when I OVER-REACTED to something done or said and I FELT the Holy Spirit trying to get me to calm down before that disapproving expression on my face was shown to my children as I watched their little faces and heads drop.  I'm not saying my children don't need to be corrected sometimes, they most definitely do but it's the HOW not the WHAT that is the big issue here for me.  Did I correct/chastise with a gentle spirit/rebuke?  Not every crime calls for such harsh punishment.

Oh how I wish I could undo those days, those times but I cannot.  All I can do now is to ask God to protect my children's spirits from being damaged b/c I fell short and to keep this scripture before me of God's grace and realize that freely I have received(of God's grace, forgiveness, tenderness, gentleness), then freely I MUST give(Matt 10:8).  I must give my children the same gentle correction that God gives me. Gentle but firm.  Loving yet strong.  Always accepting of them and who they are but yet and still upholding a standard.

That is how the Father loves and I want my children to know the Father's love.....

Today is our wedding anniversary!!  We have been married for 8 years today!!  We have 3 blessed children together and have been living in our own home for 4 years.  We dated for about 6 years so we've been together 14 years.  I look at my handsome husband and see the gray hairs beginning to show in his beard and hair and it seems like just 5 years ago we met and he was just as fine back then as he is now.  I thank God for my husband and for our blessed time together.  I pray God allows us to grow very old TOGETHER....like my grandparents.  They have been married at least 60 years that I can remember.  They are 92 and 95 years old, my grandmom and grandpa.  And they are still together, living in the same house together(their own), sleeping in the same bed together.  Of course now they need help with cooking and even bathing but they are in their right minds and can still see and hear.  I praise God for that legacy.  I pray the same for myself and my best friend, my dh.  I love him so very much I'm tearing up right now.  If I should be able to get him to read my blog today I say 'Happy Anniversary Baby!! I love You!!' and 'Praise the Lord for 8 very happy, blessed and full years together so far'  Looking forward to more!!

1.  He loves and is committed to the Lord

2.  He loves and is committed to me and his family.

3.  He is a man of prayer

4.  He is my best friend

5.  Because He is my best friend we spend alot of time talking...my favorite thing to talk about with him are the things of the Lord...revelation on the word of God...scripture, etc.

6.  He is a total NUT and keeps me laughing even in the face of life's crisis(i.e. our first child was a miscarriage..but I got thru it b/c he stayed 'up' and encouraged me to 'LOOK UP AND SEE GOD...HELP IS ON THE WAY'!

7.  His relaxed attitude about life.  I can tend to be tense and neurotic about things..especially if something unexpected happens...he takes it with a grain of salt...therefore that has helped me to 'mellow out'.

8.  He works so that I can be home full-time and homeschool.

9.  His BODY!!! (Can I say that on here???)

10.  His BODY!!! ( Sooooooo sorry, I can't help it...I just LOVE this man with everything in me!!)

I think I'll let him read this when he gets home......ummmmmmmmm