Jun. 12, 2007
Husband Drops a Bomb Last Night
|
My husband has been very content at work; he likes his boss, he enjoys working in this particular industry and he has a track to a long, productive career. I knew something was up for ever since returning from his solo motorcycle trip to the Southwest, he has not been the same. Last night, he let me know that we needed to talk after the kids were in bed. I always get a little tight knot in my stomach when he says this. For a little background, he has moved us all over the country and has changed jobs several times. We have been in Wisconsin now since 2002, in the same house, with all the same friends and attending the same church. It has been the most stable we have been in our 11 years of marriage. But, I have to say that we are different people than those who would traipse across the country looking for a new job at the first hint of boredom. We are content, we are settled, we are thinking of being here for the rest of our lives. So, this came as quite a surprise when my husband confesses that God is pressing on his heart the need to make some changes. He is feeling God challenging him to do more with his life and more with the gifting He has given my husband. While my husband couldn't say what this practically means, we did agree that it could mean anything from mission work, to ministry to going into business for himself. All of these career changes will entail sacrifices on our family, but friends, what joy those words have brought to my heart! My husband just recently became a Christian (about 6 years ago) and I believe I was given a vision of my husband in ministry some day. To hear my husband, who has been so driven in his career that everything (including me and the kids) was 2nd place, say that he wants to turn his life around...well, it just excites me and humbles me. I pray that God will pour out His wisdom on our family as we try to discern His will for my husband's life. I pray for our eyes and hearts to be open to opportunities that God will lay before us and that he have the courage to act obediently in the days to follow. I know many things in our life have been put on hold, and we weren't sure why. Now, I have the comfort of knowing that IF change comes, we are living debt free in a house that we are slowly become content with and in a neighborhood that is giving us tons of opportunities to share God's love. Isn't it cool how He hems us in from before and behind! |
May. 9, 2007
It's Finally Time To Plant!
|
Winter finally seems to be done here in WI! I truly love winter: the quiet that takes over the city, the fresh white snow that makes our street look like a story-book picture, and the crisp air that takes your breath away. But, my spirit longs for the day when I can start turning the earth over and gently planting my garden. That time has finally come. As a child, I watched my parents labor in a garden never appreciating all the work it took to yield a bounteous crop. While they were pulling weeds on their hands and knees, I was usually shooting basketballs or climbing a tree. But I did watch and as I watched, I learned. So, now that I am officially an adult, I decided a few years ago to try my hand at gardening. Immediately, a love affair began :) By hand, I removed the top layer of grass and soil for a 12 foot by 12 foot section. With calloused hands, I then turned over that entire plot. No complaints though - I found the combination of hard work and quiet to bring me closer to the Lord. Those times of quiet labor were amazing times of prayer and adoration. How amazing it is that we can place a tiny seed into the ground and in months, that seed has changed into an amazing plant that produces life-sustaining food! Now, several of my children are "into" our garden as well. My oldest loves to prepare the soil. My youngest daughter loves to put the seeds into the chosen holes. My oldest son actually loves to weed! The toddler? Well, he just enjoys walking around all of us throwing a clump of dirt now and then. As I look at the different jobs each child has chosen, I see how their personality truly fits their choice. That will make for an interesting Part Two of this entry! So, the sun is shinning, we are so close to finishing our school year and I will be heading outside this afternoon to start the process - and to enjoy that precious time in prayer with my Lord. |
May. 4, 2007
Letting My Husband Go
|
I just waved goodbye to my husband, as he set off for a solo motorcycle trip across the country. My friends and family think I am crazy, asking, "How can you let him go?" To me, there is no other option. I love my husband with all my heart and I know that this is what makes him happy. If I held this from him, and made him feel guilty for his trips, I wouldn't truly be loving him. He does this every year. Around this time, my husband gets that ache in his bones and a pit in his stomach. He longs to be on the open road, all alone, with no one to talk to besides the Lord. My husband takes these trips to block out his extremely high-pressure job, to get away from the noise of the house, and silently listen to God speaking to him as he ticks away the miles on his motorcycle. I have to admit, that I can understand his longings. I, too, would love some time of solitude and silence. I know that my husband comes back from these long trips a new man; he is renewed by the strength of the Lord and he is often more in love with me (an added bonus). It is also during these trips, as I am faced with the daunting task of raising and schooling 4 children, that I come to realize that the Lord is my true husband. God is the only one on whom I can totally rely; He is the only one who can shelter me and comfort me; and it is only in His strength that he is pouring out into my life that I can make it through these days. I am thankful that I have such an amazing God. Now, I am thinking about getting a dog while my husband is away :) |
May. 2, 2007
The Big Clothing Swap!
|
It is finally warm enough in Wisconsin to begin the big clothing swap! You know, that time of year where you pack away all the winter clothes and pull out the summer clothes. But, it always entails so much more that that. You have to put the clothes that don't fit anymore into one pile to be put into the bin for the younger sibling waiting to grow into them. Then, you have the clothes that will probably still fit by next fall, so those go in yet another bin. Then, there is the stuff that fits no one anymore and there are no more siblings that same gender waiting in the wings, so those clothes get packed into a bag to be given to a dear friend next time I see her. I always think I can get this job done in a morning - ha! With 4 children and about 6 bins of clothing, I am finally coming to grips with the fact that this takes about 3 - 4 days! What hits me squarely between the eyes each time I do this, is how we simply have too much! What child really needs 17 pairs of shorts, 10 summer dresses, 25 t-shirts and 3 bathing suits? The Lord is continuing to grow me by opening my eyes to the extravagance I have in the area of clothing. The thing is that I rarely spend a dime on clothing! So many of the clothes are hand-me-downs from nieces and nephews or from dear family friends. I can't be held guilty for spending lots of money - but I am guilty of being greedy. When that friend stops by with a bag of clothing, I should say, "We have plenty. Why don't you take these to the women's shelter?" My greed takes over and I think, "Oh, I hope there are some cute things in that bag!" I am grateful that the Lord continues to work on me. There is so much to learn and so many changes that still need to take place in my heart.. Well, back to the clothes...and a lesson in simplicity as I sort through the abundance and choose to give away some of those cute things to a family who really would treasure a beautiful sun dress or two. |
May. 1, 2007
How To Be More Like Martha
|
It drives me crazy! I just can't seem to settle down and focus on my morning Bible study with dirty cereal dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be sorted, a spattering of orange juice leaking out of the baby's sippy cup, and dates that need to be added to the calendar after the soccer coach changed all the practices! I long to be Mary, happily pushing all other things aside to concentrate on the one thing of importance - immersing myself in the Word of God each morning. But, reality slams it's way into my brain, screaming that I have to get certain household chores started before I sit at the kitchen table with that steaming cup of coffee and open my Bible. My sister can for a visit last October - and if I have ever seen a Martha, it is her! When she left my house, she had criticized many of my housekeeping skills. She made note of the dust bunnies in the corner, behind the door. She also made a comment about that spilled ketchup blob in the refrigerator door that had yet to be wiped up. My sister also wondered how I could just sit and talk when the rug so obviously needed a vacuuming. Don't get me wrong - overall, my house is in order! Clothes are clean and put away, the kitchen is always cleaned after each meal and I try really hard to corral all those dust bunnies each day with a Swiffer. But I am nothing like my sister. A week after my sister's visit, she sent me a card thanking me for my hospitality. And then she wrote, "you are such a Mary in a Martha world. I wish I could be more like you." I rode high on the comment for quite a few months. Wow! Someone dear to me had noticed my love for God's word. I recently started an excellent study on the women of the Bible (Life Principles from the Women of the Bible) and this week's lesson was on none other than Mary and Martha. I proudly thought to myself, "Oh, I've got this figured out! My sister said I was a Mary." But, as I gathered my Bibles, my pens and my study, I stopped to put a few dishes in the dishwasher, I remembered the soccer shoes outside that needed a good shaking, I ran upstairs to pull out a sweatshirt for my daughter who was chilly, I decided to quickly sweep up some spilled granola, I ran down to the basement to switch over the clothes into the dryer, I switched on the computer to get it ready for school, and then I thought I better change the baby's diaper before getting started. Pshew! By the time I finished all that, my time for study was cut about 20 minutes short. In that study, the authors challenged me to stop what I was doing, get into prayer and just listen to God speaking to me. You know what I did? I thought, "I don't have time for this" and I closed my book and ran off to officially start my day. Ugh! I am no Mary. I did not remember the one thing that was of utmost importance. I let the business of running a household and homeschooling my children get the best of my day. Oh, dear Lord, help me today to be a Mary. Help me to put everything aside and spend some quiet time in your presence, soaking in your truth and your love. Help me to quiet my mind and my heart so that I can hear you today. I want to be more like Mary this day. Amen. |
Feb. 26, 2007
Surrendering My Will
|
Hello out there is blogger land! I don't know why I have not been able to write anything for weeks since I set up my new blog - but for some reason - now I can! The mystery of computers never fails to keep me on my toes. Well, I am in the middle of my 5 year of homeschooling my 4 children and am finding that each year brings new challenges and surprises. I wanted to get this blog up and running so I have a place to sort through all my many ups and downs :) This year has seen a change of my heart - I have always felt led to volunteer in womens ministry at my church, but over the past several months, I felt the Lord tugging at my heart calling me to be at home. He has led me to Titus 2:2 and has not released me yet from settling there and really studying His words to me. One phrase has caught my attention lately, "be busy at home". I have to admit that in my pursuit to be doing good work at church, I have neglected some of my duties at home. The shame of it all is that the heart issue is my pride. At church, I recieve accolades and praise, people "know" me and it feels good! At home, there are very few praises sent my way and I am in a daily struggle with my kids to keep them "on task" and finishing their work. But, when God placed the call to homeschool in my heart, He was also calling me to surrender my will to His own. I have to admit, I have been surrendering about 80% the past few years, still hanging on to the work I have been doing at church thinking I could still claim that as my own. How hard it is to realize that even doing "church work" can come in between the specific plans God has for my life at this moment. So, as I set out to sort through my life - laying down my own will daily and trying to wait patiently upon the Lord, I will let you into my lessons. I hope God will use my words to let you know how great His plans are for our lives, if only we will give him the reins. |