So, last week I updated my blog to have the power go out just before I added it!  I wrote about how my husband was working building a garage for a neighbor and needed help.  Most of the days he had our 16 year old daughter help but this particular day she was heading for piano lessons and he asked me.   I had wanted to share that I think EVERY wife ought to work with her hubby once in a while.  It really makes you appreciate him.  It was a hot muggy day and he was walking around on staging and edges of the roof putting on strapping getting it ready to put on the metal roofing.  I stood on the staging clinging for dear life passing him tools, afraid I would fall to my death!  Dishes seem very interesting ( defined, safe) after that.

Now this week I have a totally different thing to share.  When you recited, "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part."  Did you really mean it?  Did you ever wonder what would happen and how you would cope if any of the 'bad' things happen or were you, like me, to starry eyed with dreams of what life would be never imagining it could be that bad?

Saturday we all worked all day building a new hay barn.  At one time or another we were all up on the staging and ladders.  My wonderful hubby put a brace up to make us feel safer.  I admit, I don't like heights. Around 6:20 he sent me in to start dinner and the girls to do barn chores.  Minutes later I heard my 16 year old daugher screaming my name and saw her running toward the house.  "MOM! Dad fell off the barn roof and is lieing there and can't move!"  I didn't know I could run so fast!   My daughter had the level head to grab my pocketbook and keys and drive the car out to the barn.

To make a very long story shorter 5 days, two Emergency visits, two specialist appts, one hospitalization my husband is in a TLSO brace from his collar bone to below his groin.  It's made out of the same material as PVC pipe and doesn't breath well.  He can't get out of bed or in without help.  He can walk short distances to prevent stiffening and atrophy of some muscles.  He can't shower, use the toilet  without help or dress himself.  Neither can he walk alone, bend, lift or twist.  He won't be working for at least 3 months and then only limited jobs.  He's a self-employed carpenter with no insurance or disability and now no income. 

Although he is humanly "worse, poorer, sick" the Lord is showing me the heart of my husband.  I've always known he was an awesome guy but it bothers him that there is no income. Why? not because he can't buy that new truck or gun or tool but because he wants to provide food, shelter and, Yup, school supplies for his family.  He is troubled that we are not going to be able to 'keep our word' and pay our bills. Yes, he's sicker than he's ever been but through the pain he's worried about me.  He's afraid when I lift him that he's going to hurt me.  He is worried about waking me during the night (we gave him a bell) to come down and take him to the bathroom, get his meds or give him a gentle massage because he's having muscle spasms.  He knows I'm exhausted and he's worried about it.  He's concerned that the girls are working too hard filling in for him in outside barn chores. He's worried about the regular bills and the mounting medical bills. My husband desires to fulfill the role God gave our husbands to be providers. The girls and I are fulfilling the role of nurturer, caretaker and helpmeets in taking care of him.  At 2:00 in the morning at the hospital he woke up and asked me to read him scripture.  After I finished he said, "Sometimes I just need to be reminded that my Savior is in all this."  Tonight I heard him tell an unbeliever that God was in this and He had a plan that will be better than we can all imagine!

No, this isn't the fairytale I envisioned 30 years ago.  No, I don't love my hubby like I did 30 years ago I love him in a much deeper way and sooooooo much more!

Yes, this is very hard.  I'm exhausted.  I have mountains of paperwork to fill out for financial payment plans ( Funny I think I got more attention from the financial services when they saw "No insurance" than he got from the nurses!! )but  I know God is working.  I know God has been leading up to this moment for a long time and I know He's going to do wonderful things for our family.  The waiting time is difficult but I imagine myself sitting back and watching what the Lord is going to do so I can brag on Him! 

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