Day 4 What would you want to make sure you did before dying if you knew you would die in 5 years time?  Be specific.

Well, it is certainly a long time between posts.  This is really heavy going and it keeps my mind occupied for sure.

With only 5 years to live my boys would be 13yo, 10yo and 7yo.  That is so young to lose your mum.

My eldest is a sensitive soul and I would hate to leave him alone to manage his teen years.  How could I best prepare him?  I guess by making sure I have his heart, that he knows my heart and that he knows that his Heavenly Father knows him so much better than I could.  I would want him to have a guiding system of values that will keep him out of trouble.  I would want him to be always thinking “would this be what my mum would want for me?”  He definitely needs to be taught to think things through.  Maybe a boy thing or just his personality as his father seems to not be able to think about future consequences very well and he is almost 35yo.

My second is a bit of an adventurer.  I would want to know that he should follow his talents and not be squashed by others if he wants to try out new things. 

For all of my boys I would like them to know they have each other.  That family is the most important thing in this world after a relationship with their Heavenly Father and that they need to support each other yet not take responsibility for another’s actions as we all make our own choices and have to live with the consequences.

You may wonder where I picture my dh in all of this?  Well, he has not been well for a long time and it has drained him emotionally and spiritually.  If I was not around I am concerned that he would be more likely to completely fall apart than gather himself together to be an involved Dad.  He has the best of intentions but he hasn’t followed through on many for such a long time that I have very little faith in him at all.

Best wishes,

Jen in Oz

What would I consider important if I knew I only had 10 years to live?

 
My boys would be young teenagers when I die and I would hate to think that the only memories they would have of me would be of me cleaning our home.  I also would hate to throw them out into the world with very little life skills.  I am realising that if I want my kids to know how to clean a home and maintain it that I need to start early with the lessons, especially the one of work first, play second.

 
The side benefit of teaching them how to take care of our home means that we will also be sharing the workload that to this point I have taken on myself entirely.  We will then have more time to do the fun stuff together too.  I have also heard that relationships with boys are best made while working side by side as they don’t like to be confronted face on about personal matters and feelings.

 
I wouldn’t be around to give advice on choosing a life partner so the best I can do is be the example of what I think they deserve from their wife and the mother of their children.  I think I really need to teach more from the bible especially Proverbs as there is such great advice given there on the type of people to emulate and those to avoid.

 
I know I discipline my children roughly some days (more in my manner of speech than physically) and I really don’t want them to only remember that of me.  I would like to soften my speech and teach gently and firmly rather than nagging and pouting.  It takes a lot of confidence in ones self to be consistent but I am learning that if I rely on biblical principles there is a consistency in the rules and values to live by even if my presentation is not always the best.  Lol

 
On a personal level I am realising that if I have only 10 years to live that the greatest use of my time would be to teach my children and to build a safe comforting home for my boys (both big and small).  I will make a greater impact on the world by the way I do this than I will from writing an inspiring book/blog or from learning steel string guitar to performance level.  I may have wanted to learn ball room dancing so I could feel alive and vibrant but hugging and tickling my boys and laughing together will make me so much more alive and vibrant that I think I can let go of some of my ‘goals’ to do what my Heavenly Father put me here for – to be a wife and mother.

 Best wishes,

Jen in Oz

2)      So for day 2 the question is:  What would I consider important if I knew I only had 25 years to live? 

My boys would be 33yo, 29yo and 26yo so if I have grandchildren they wouldn't be very old.  I would be sure to have written a history of my life by then so that it can be shared with my grandchildren.  I would like to share any pieces of wisdom of life that may help them as they grow up like don't get debt for the little things, keep smiling no matter how bad things get, remember that our Heavenly Father knows everything about us and has plans for our good.

On a more personal note I would still want to do a lot of those things I listed on Day 1 but now I will have less time to muck around getting to some of those things.   If I had to rank things from Day 1 I would put relationships with my family, travel to Europe and learning ballroom dancing and steel string guitar up there in the higher part of the list.  Writing a book doesn’t seem so important nor getting my teeth straightened.  Becoming a teacher wouldn’t be as important as being available for my boys as they start their married lives and have young children. 

Amazing how the perspective changes when I realise that 25 years is so much sooner than 50 years.  God willing I have many more years to come but I am trying to help myself to focus and in the same way a microscope needs to be adjusted to get a better focus I am adjusting my focus on my life from “I will do that someday but not today” to “decide what is truly important to me and do it now”.  I waste a lot of time being very casual about how I spend my time and I am concerned that I won’t leave this world a better place unless I start focusing on how I spend my time.

Well, a bit dreary possibly, but life is finite!

Best wishes,

Jen in Oz

If I knew for certain that I had 50 years to live I would definitely be taking better care of my health.  I get a bit slack about exercising and eating properly at times but if I knew I still had another 50 years in this body I would definitely take care of myself more.  I would also make sure I am using my mind fully so I reduce my chances of dementia, etc.

Things I would like to do in that time (in no particular order of doing or importance)
* Travel through Europe with my whole family, focusing especially on Italy, France and Norway.
* Visit my relatives in England
* Serve a mission in Africa or a country closer to me for a year
* Become a wildlife rescue volunteer
* Build a home for my boys instead of moving every year or two
* Learn ball room dancing

* Have my teeth fixed/straightened

* Jump out of an aeroplane with a parachute attached

* Go white water rafting in New Zealand

* Learn to cook gourmet style meals

* Study at University to become a Maths/Science teacher at High School (after my boys stop hsing)

* Learn to do Irish Tap Dancing

* Learn how to use my sewing machine for more than straight line stitching

* Get involved with politics to become an advocate for homeschooling and stay-st-home mothers

* Become a Breastfeeding Association (LLL) counsellor

* Become a wise Grandmother who knows what advice to offer and when to offer it and when to close my mouth

* Study my Bible fully so that I can absorb God’s wisdom

* Get out of debt

* Teach others how to live frugally while still eating well

* Build a relationship with my sister

* Build a stronger relationship with my extended family

* Build a stable group of 10 friends who support each other

* Write a book/blog that inspires women to stay at home to do the most important job on earth, be a mum

* Travel around Australia with my children without worries about income

* Perform on stage once at least in something artistic (not drama please)

* Learn to play steel string guitar to performance level

 
Well, that is a long and varied list but it is 50 years after all.  Lol

Best wishes,

Jen in Oz

I have been going around all over the place lately surfing and came across mention of a game called the Prosperity Game designed to help you visualise what you would do with unlimited money.

I am going to turn this game around.  I am going to list what I would do most importantly if my time to live was limited.  A friend of my cousin is dying of cancer and has less than a few years to live.  We have lost friends here at Homeschool Blogger before their time.  It just makes me think whether I am doing what is really important each day.

So here is the game! 

Day 1 What would you want to make sure you did before dying if you knew you would die in 50 years time?  Be specific.

Post a link to yours in the comments.

Best wishes,
Jen in Oz