The Legend of Thousand Hills Farm

Connections

As my children get older, I find myself thinking more and more about their future mates.   Who will they be?  Where will they find them?  At the tea Kathleen and I recently went to, one of the young ladies talked about having known her husband for a few years before he approached her father about courtship.  By the time he was allowed to court her, she already knew his character, that he would be a godly leader, and someone she could love and submit to. 

But, our sphere of acquaintances who hold similar values is small.  The number of young women around us who desire above all to be godly wives and mothers is practically nill.  Most are more concerned about what their career field will be than whether they will have a husband and family to care for.  Even those that know they want to be wives and mothers would not consider that to be the primary focus for a woman.  And so, where will the wives that my sons will need come from?

I am convinced more and more that it is important to search out families who are like-minded and are raising daughters to be keepers at home, and sons to be providers.  But even among homeschoolers, this does not necessarily seem to be a priority.  Maybe because for so many of us, this is a first generation thing.  How do we go about training our children for something that we are still struggling to learn?  And, how do we instill in them the confidence to be totally and completely swimming against the current?  Especially our girls; but, our boys too.  For them to never have the mindset that they can always have their wife get a job if things get tough.  What a novel idea!  And to teach our girls to be frugal.  So many people of my generation are in the midst of learning this now, with family in tow, because they didn't learn it growing up.  I so much desire for our children to start their adult lives ahead of where we were, as far as what they know about living life well.

The question then becomes, how do we meet more like-minded families?  Where do we find them?  Even at the few *organized* homeschooling events we have attended, we have not necessarily found anyone likeminded.  Do people find each other through blogs?  Homeschooling conferences?  Vision Forum events?  Where are they?  Of course, now I look desperate.   But I would also like to find some other families for encouragement.  Not only to receive, but to give as well.  For our children to see, not only others their age living a set apart life, but to see young people that are a little older, who have gone through school, and are now embarking on a career, and marriage.  I would love for them to find encouragement in those examples.

I guess the only real answer, besides just flat out seeking people out, is to pray, and wait on God's perfect timing.  And be content.

like-minded families

5:20 AM, Nov. 2, 2006 .. Posted by Anonymous

Amen Sister!! I so struggle with the exact same thoughts myself. There is an awesome article written by Michael Pearl of No Greater Joy www.nogreaterjoy.org. (January/February 2006) It is part 4 of an article titled "Jumping Ship". In it he talks about community and how we can cultivate a community of like-minded families for our children to be around. (In a sense, we are providing a pool of prospects for them to fellowship with in the hopes that the Lord will bring these families to us and that their prospective mates will be among them). Let me know if you need more help in finding it. I am on Patriarch's Wives also (psonenineteen). Love Gail

oops

5:23 AM, Nov. 2, 2006 .. Posted by lovinthosebunnies4Him

sorry, i forgot to login when i sent you the message. I am also on this bolg as lovinthosebunnies4Him. see U.
Gail

Untitled Comment

1:34 PM, Nov. 2, 2006 .. Posted by jayfromcleveland

What can any of us do? In spite of what many "Mother Bear" homeschool moms seem to think, we can't live our kids' lives for them, and if we try, they may run hard the other way. Seems like we can only "raise them up in the way they should go" and trust the LORD for the outcome.

We've prayed for our kids' and their eventual spouses since they were babies, asking that the LORD would save someone special for each of them and that these kids -- who we may or may not know -- would keep themselves for marriage to our kids, and that our kids would keep themselves for them, and not dabble in the world's foolishness. When our sons were babies, we prayed for their presumably as-yet unborn wives. Over the years, we've prayed for the little girls that will someday grow to be the mothers of our gradnchildren, that would be pure in God's sight. And after we had daughters, we've done the same for their future husbands. In this way, we hope we're joining prayers with other parents that we may not even yet know, but who will become important people in our lives when we're someday sharing our mutual grandchildren. -j

Amen Sister

7:45 AM, Sep. 24, 2007 .. Posted by Camille

Our oldest recently turned 17, and we have had many, many talks on just this. We do not go to very many homeschooling events, so that does seem a likely place.

This is an area where, I have to admit, my faith is little. We, too, have prayed for the future spouses of our children. We have discussed traits and qualities that are important, and have (with our oldest, thus far) talked about her areas of strength and areas where she needs growth...all for the purpose of being a blessed helpmeet to the one God has for her.

However, we always come back to....where will we meet him? Sometimes I think she is getting a bit nervous because her courting days should start soon, and she has read one too many stories of young women being in their 30s before they find that one.

Ah well...I'm off to pray for more faith...and to rest knowing that in His perfect timing that young man will come galloping in and we will know...THIS is the one. Unfortunately, I have this great desire to take a peek at God's wristwatch too often!

Blessings to you -
Camille